The Last Breath Series
By Flotternz and Tarra O'Neal - flotternz@yahoo.co.nz and 
IrishLas413@msn.com


                         *******************

Includes:  Looking Through Your Eyes
           More Than Anyone Deserves
           Here With Me

                         *******************


Looking Through Your Eyes
By Flotternz and Tarra O'Neal - flotternz@yahoo.co.nz and 
IrishLas413@msn.com


RATING: PG

WARNINGS: None

CATEGORY: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Romance

PAIRINGS: Sam/Jack

SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer

TIME FRAME: Season 5 AU (After Desperate Measures - Before Meridian)

SUMMARY: When Sam goes blind, Jack takes it upon himself to take care of 
her.

STATUS: Complete, First in a series

ARCHIVE: Dyiallias II - http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com  and 
anywhere else please ask.

DISCLAIMER: Sadly we don't own SG-1, or that lovely graying, brown eyed 
Colonel...*sigh*!  Oh woe are we!!  Anyways... Stargate SG-1 and its 
characters are the property of Stargate Productions, MGM/UA, Viacom, 
Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Showtime and/or Sci 
Fi networks. No infringement is intended to the above parties. This is 
for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands.  The 
original characters, situations, and story are the property of the 
author.  This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of 
the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Song credits – "More Than Words" by Extreme, and "Looking 
Through Your Eyes" by LeAnn Rimes.

FEEDBACK:  SWEET!!!  We love feedback!!  The more we get, the more we 
write, and everyone's happy!!  :)

                         *******************

"Trees!" Colonel Jack O'Neill complained as he walked down the steps that 
led from the Stargate to the clearing below. "Why does it always have to 
be trees? Why can't we just for once go to a nice planet with a beach 
that stretches on as far as the eye can see?" //With palm trees and 
bikinis.// His eyes unwillingly slid to Carter at the thought.

//Rein in those thoughts, O'Neill; she's your 2IC for cryin' out loud!//

Squinting, he glanced up into the sky. Two moons? They'd been told it was 
daytime ... not night.  They shouldn't even be called moons. They were 
bright enough to be suns. Pulling off his sunglasses, he tugged his cap 
on a little tighter. "So how far away is this 'temple' Carter?"

With one hand on the P-90 strapped to his shoulder, he scanned the 
surrounding area, trying hard not to notice exactly how close the Major 
was standing next to him. Trying hard not to let on how her closeness 
affected him.

"The UAV detected it five miles west of the Gate, Sir"

"Okay, campers, let's move out," Jack announced, taking up the lead.  

They walked at a steady pace. By Jack's estimate they would reach the 
crumbling temple within a few hours.  //Maybe those moons will have gone 
down some by then.  Man, I'll be glad to get back to Earth; a less 
lighted planet.//

                         *******************

Jack kicked at the loose rocks on the ground outside the temple.  Daniel 
was happily deciphering some 'incredibly ancient language' on some ruins 
in the next section of the temple.  Knowing how Daniel tended to get 
himself into trouble, especially on boring planets, Jack had sent Teal'c 
with him

Ack!!  He was so bored!  Another wonderfully boring mission to PQRS-
something something something.  

"Hey, Carter what planet is this again?" He directed his question to 
where Sam was working around some more ruins a few feet away.

"PX1-980, Sir," she answered, absorbed in her work.

"Hey, Carter, whatcha got there?" Jack asked as he ambled over the rubble 
lying in the entryway.

"I think it's some sort of thermal device, Sir," Sam said, still probing 
the object with various tools to achieve readings.

"You know what you're doing right?" he asked, peering over her shoulder. 

She stopped what she was doing and turned her head to look at him.  "I 
could do it much better if you weren't hovering over me," she commented 
jokingly.

Jack stepped back, throwing his hands up in a gesture of surrender.  
"Okay, okay, you're the scientist!  I'll just be over here doing my own 
important thing."  He moved around among ruins trying to find anything 
that looked remotely interesting.  He wasn't overly surprised when he 
didn't.  

He found a stone slab in the corner and decided to take a five.  Carter 
could hold down the fort for that long.  His knees were killing him.  
Though he wouldn't let anyone know that.  Wouldn't let her know that.

"This is amazing!" Sam exclaimed, rifling through her pack for another 
scientific measurement tool.

"What's amazing?" Jack asked staring out what used to be a window, at the 
rapidly darkening sky.

"This device seems to be an early example of the First Law of 
Thermodynamics," Sam said in awe.

Jack knew that if he didn't ask her, she'd tell him anyway, so he thought 
he would humor her by feigning interest.  "Refresh my memory.  What is 
the first law of dynamic thermals?"

"Thermodynamics is when heat is converted to another form of energy, or 
even when energy is converted to heat, when there is no loss of energy," 
she explained, still engrossed in her discovery.

"Oh, well that's always good to know," Jack commented not knowing at all 
what she was talking about.  He looked back out the window, picking up 
his daydream about beaches and bikinis.  //Hmmm....//

A sudden hum of energy pulled him from his reverie.

A primal sort of panic filled Jack as he turned at the unusual electronic 
sound. He might not know much about the machines that Carter tinkered 
with, but he had been around long enough to know the sound of a timer 
counting down. Counting down fast too!

"Carter, get out of the way!" he yelled as he began moving towards her. 
Until he had spoken she had still been working on it, trying to 
deactivate it. At the sound of his voice she began backing away from it. 
His warning didn't come quickly enough.

The explosion reverberated through the temple, knocking Jack off his feet 
and knocking the air from his chest. His mind hazy, he lay gasping, 
trying to draw oxygen back into his lungs. His eyes slid shut unwillingly 
as he lost consciousness.

All over his body he could feel little spears of pain. His head throbbed; 
his ears were filled with an unbearably loud hum. He forced his eyes 
open, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. 

What about the rest of the team? 

Carter?

That thought was enough to spur him on. He struggled to push himself up, 
ignoring the stabbing pain in his head and the spears that jolted through 
his chest at the movement. //Oh yeah, definitely broke some ribs!// 
Sitting, he allowed himself to look around as soon as his vision cleared. 

Teal'c was behind him, standing in the entrance with the help of his 
staff weapon. Jack could see Daniel lying not far from the Jaffa, but it 
looked like he was moving. It was Carter that filled him with a more 
immediate concern. She wasn't moving.

"Teal'c, check on Daniel".

His pains temporarily forgotten, he pulled himself to his feet and 
staggered the few meters to where Carter lay. He fell to his knees next 
to her, unable to remain on his feet any longer. His shaky fingers found 
her throat, searching desperately for a pulse, for some sign of life. His 
relief was overwhelming when he felt it under his fingertips. Slow and 
thready, but it was there.

He set about trying to check on her injuries. She was lying on her side, 
her back to him. Her uniform was shredded. Taking a breath he rolled her 
onto her back, hoping against hope that she wasn't burnt. He breathed a 
sigh of relief when he saw that other than some pretty bad cuts and 
bruises, her face was pretty much unscathed. He was sure that it wouldn't 
be the same for the rest of her body.

"Sorry, Carter", he murmured to her, knowing that she couldn't hear him. 
"But I gotta check". Hastily he ran his hands over her arms and legs, 
only really looking for more obvious signs of injury. Her shoulder was at 
an awkward angle; dislocated, he guessed. He was also pretty certain that 
her left leg was broken, but that was all he could tell.

Blood was seeping from the numerous cuts all over her body; another quick 
check showed that none of them were bad enough to worry about. She still 
hadn't woken up, and Jack was starting to get worried. Guilt began to 
gnaw at him. //I should have warned her sooner! I should have gotten to 
her faster!//

He knew he couldn't have, that there was no way that he could have gotten 
to her in time. Guilt was strange that way, no matter how much a person 
told themselves that they did all they could have done, something deep 
down nagged at them that they could have done more.

Jack glanced up as he heard footsteps behind him. Daniel and Teal'c were 
standing above him. Daniel didn't look too great; Teal'c had an arm 
around his waist, keeping him on his feet. "How is she?" Daniel asked, 
the concern on his face evident.

Shaking his head, Jack's attention returned to Carter. "Not good. Near as 
I can tell she has a dislocated shoulder and broken leg, but she's still 
out. We have to get back to the Gate".

"I concur, O'Neill."

Jack pushed himself back to his feet, thankful that most of the dizziness 
seemed to have passed. His head still pounded and his ears were still 
ringing, but it was tolerable- it had to be. He had more important things 
to think about than a little headache. He had to get Carter back to the 
SGC, and to the medical attention she needed.

Leaning down, he carefully slid his arms under her and tried to lift her 
as gently as possible. He flinched as he stood up, jarring her slightly. 
//I'm so sorry, Carter.//

                         *******************

General Hammond was waiting in the control room when SG-1's code was 
confirmed on the monitor.  Something must be wrong.  They weren't due 
back for another twenty-one hours.  He grabbed the intercom microphone 
and ordered a medical team to the Gate room.  He made his way down as 
quickly as he could.  If something was amiss, he wanted to be the first 
to be apprised.  

He met Dr. Janet Fraiser as the heavy metal blast door slid open to allow 
entrance into the Gate room.  The medical team had already prepared the 
gurneys, having learned to always expect the worse, especially when it 
concerned SG-1.

The wormhole flashed open and stabilized shortly before four figures 
stumbled or were otherwise carried through.  Teal'c held his staff weapon 
loosely in one hand, as he supported the injured Daniel with his other 
arm.  Jack followed shortly behind, with an unconscious Carter in toll.  
His breathing was labored due to his cracked ribs.  

The medic team rushed up the ramp.  They secured Daniel to a gurney, 
ignoring his protests that he could make it to the infirmary on his own.  
Janet hurried to Jack's side, concern flashing across her face at the 
sight of Sam's limp form.  She looked questionably at Jack, seeing worry 
lines obvious on his face.

"She was knocked out.  She hasn't shown any signs of waking up.  Her 
shoulder is dislocated and I'm pretty sure her left leg is broken." 
Jack's response escaped in a rush of breath; pain from his own injuries 
noticeable in his voice.  

Janet directed a medic to take extreme caution when they proceeded to 
strap Sam to the gurney.  Jack watched with guilt-ridden eyes as she was 
transported to the infirmary.  He should have done something ... 
anything.

General Hammond was waiting for Jack as he descended the ramp rather 
painfully.  Hammond's blank mask was replaced with one of concern, when 
he took in the sight of the remaining member of SG-1 still in the Gate 
room.  

"What happened, Colonel?" He asked. "I thought this was supposed to be a 
routine mission."  He continued the puzzlement apparent in his voice.

"Yeah, so did I," Jack answered, barely audible as he visualized 
something ... someone ... that wasn't there anymore.  He snapped out of 
his reverie long enough to give the General a brief explanation.  

"We found a device.  Carter was investigating it when a timer went off.  
The thing exploded, knocking us all out.  We all came to, except Carter.  
She's been unconscious for the last two or three hours."

Though the description of events was vague, the General accepted it, and 
ordered the Colonel to the infirmary.  

                         *******************

Janet flicked her penlight off, just slightly discouraged.  Sam was 
showing no response to the light.  Meaning it could be a concussion, and 
though she didn't want to even consider it, a coma.  Her BP levels were 
elevated, but the monitors that she was hooked up to kept Janet apprised 
of any sudden changes.  

There were contusions covering Sam's face and arms where she assumed the 
blast combined with debris, impacted with her skin.   First-degree burns 
covered her fingers, but nothing a little triple-antibiotic ointment 
wouldn't cure.  

Sam's shoulder was dislocated, as the Colonel had earlier assessed.  
Janet wrapped a bandage securely around the injured shoulder, and had 
placed her arm in a sling for support. 

Her left leg, though, was another matter.  It was indeed broken; a 
definite fracture in her fibula.  With the help of one of her nurses, she 
spent the last forty-five minutes setting the bone and fitting a cast.  
She really didn't like setting bones, especially when the patient wasn't 
even conscious for the procedure.  It unnerved her not knowing the 
patient wasn't aware of the events occurring around her.  

Looking at her watch, she thought she'd better go check on the rest of 
SG-1. Since she was Chief of Staff, so to speak, she wanted to make sure 
that all of her patients had completed their post-mission physicals.

Janet turned back to face Sam, and was still mildly shocked to see her 
friend in such condition.  Sam's pallor was nearly colorless, the bruises 
a stark contrast to her usually flawless complexion.  Sam was her best 
friend.  She was the strongest person she knew, in mind and in body.  She 
was definitely not someone you would label frail, but looking at her just 
now...she couldn't dismiss the image.  There were very few times she had 
seen her friend anything but healthy.  

Mentally shaking herself, she walked out of Sam's room in search of the 
remaining team members, especially the ones that tended to dodge the 
medical exams.  Namely, Colonel O'Neill.    

                         *******************

Jack sat by Carter's bedside, nearly asleep. He was grateful for the 
painkillers Janet had given him; the pain in his chest had dulled down to 
an unpleasant burning every time he took a breath.

Still, he fought off the pain that still lingered, as well as his 
fatigue, unwilling to move from his spot by her bed.

He heard soft footsteps behind him and turned to see Daniel entering the 
room.

"Has there been any change," the young archeologist asked as he stepped 
up to her bedside.

Jack tore his eyes from Carter to look up at his friend drowsily. "Nope, 
none at all," he replied with a sigh.

"Why don't you come and get something to eat, Jack?"

Jack looked back at Carter as the understanding dawned on him that this 
wasn't just a social visit; Daniel was trying to get him out of the 
infirmary for a while, probably at the behest of Janet. Although the 
gesture was touching, Jack just wasn't in the mood for it. 

He'd been sitting here since Janet had released him from the infirmary, 
nearly seven hours ago. The nurses had chased him away periodically; he'd 
simply hovered in the hall until they were finished and then returned to 
his spot.

He had to stay here; he had to be here when she woke up. He had to know 
she was going to be ok.

"I'm not hungry," he replied gruffly.

He could hear Daniel shuffling his feet, obviously trying to decide 
whether he should push the issue or leave it alone. Much to Jack's 
relief, he seemed to decide on the latter.

"Ok," he sighed, "Well would you like a coffee then?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

Daniel left the room quietly, almost unnoticed by Jack, whose attention 
was back on the woman on the bed. She looked so small and fragile to his 
eyes, lying there in that bed. Her broken leg was elevated on some 
pillows, her arm in a sling across the chest to prevent any jarring. Her 
face covered in scratches and bruising.

He felt responsible for what had happened to her. There was always a 
measure of responsibility when a member of his team was injured, but he 
felt it more acutely now.

He should have done something.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't have done more, Carter," Jack whispered, 
leaning his head sleepily against her bed.

"Please wake up. We need to know you're ok ... I need to know you're ok." 
He could not say the words that were forefront in his mind. His emotions 
and thoughts were in turmoil. He was warring not only with guilt, but 
with the realization that she meant more to him than he thought possible. 
"Please wake up, I don't want to lose you ... not like this. I need you. 
I love you."
Had he not been holding her hand so tightly in his own he may not have 
noticed the almost imperceptible pressure against his fingers. His first 
instinct was that it was his imagination, that it was wishful thinking.

He leaned closer to her ear, cast his voice lower. "Carter, can you hear 
me?"

There it was again, so tiny, so weak, but it was there. She was waking 
up. He was torn. He knew that he should go and get Janet, but he didn't 
want to leave her side. He didn't want to let her go.

Daniel chose the right moment to return with the coffee. Hearing his 
footsteps Jack stood and swung around, keeping his tight grip on her 
hand.

"Get Janet! She's waking up!"

                         *******************

Sound was the first sense to return to her pain-shrouded mind.  She could 
hear something ... or someone.  It was familiar, it was comforting.  She 
felt herself drawn in by it, pulled back from the mantle of 
unconsciousness.

The more it drew her back, the more it grew in clarity.  A voice, one she 
knew well.  One she depended on, that she got strength from.  It was 
calling to her, begging her to come back from the brink.  As the tendrils 
of unconsciousness dropped away, she felt the pain more acutely.  She 
wanted to retreat back into the darkness, but the voice called her back.

"Please wake up.  We need to know your okay ... I need to know your 
okay."

The words meant nothing to her, she couldn't comprehend them.  But the 
voice held her.  It was so full of pain.  Why was it so full of pain?  
She had not heard it like that in such a long time.  She had never heard 
it pleading.  Was it pleading for her?

"Please wake up, I don't want to lose you ... not like this.  I need you.  
I love you."

Need?  Love?  She still didn't quite understand what was being said, but 
they wrenched at her, yanking her even further from the edge.  She knew 
those words, they were powerful, they were important.

The pain was worse here, far worse.  There was something else ... touch.  
She could feel it, wrapped around her hand.  So warm, so welcoming.  It 
let her forget the pain for a moment.  Reflexively she tried to respond 
to the touch, tried to draw strength from it.  It hurt more, the 
concentration, to try and move her fingers just a little.  It was enough.

"Carter, can you hear me?"

The voice had changed, the pain replaced by something different.  Hope.  
She recognized it then, as some of the fog dissipated from her mind.  
//Colonel O'Neill.//  She could not form words; she could not move nor 
open her eyes.  She did the only thing that didn't hurt much at the 
moment.  She flexed her fingers a tiny bit more.

"Get Janet! She's waking up!" He sounded almost excited now, his voice 
more animated.

The rest of her senses were returning now.  Oh, the pain was exquisite.  
A small, involuntary moan escaped her lips.  Motion hurt, painfully; 
slowly she opened her mouth a crack, enough to lick her lips.  Her 
confusion was growing.  //What happened to me?//

A hand touched her hair gently.  "Don't worry Sam, we're here ... you're 
gonna be okay."

//Sam?  He rarely ever calls me Sam.//  The thought spurred her on.  She 
had to know what was happening.  She had to move beyond the pain to get 
the answers she needed, but her body did not want to respond.  She licked 
her lips again, the action hurting a lot less the second time round.

"How ... where?"  Her voice sounded pathetically weak even to her own 
ears.

"Ssh ... don't worry.  There was an accident ... an explosion, but your 
okay now."  His voice was so gentle, so calming.

Mention of the explosion bought her memories crashing back.  The planet 
with the bright, bright moons.  The device that she uncovered.  The ear-
piercing sound the device emitted.  Jack's frantic warning to get away.  
Then nothing.

"Oh God," she murmured.  "Daniel ... Teal'c?"

"I'm here, Sam.  Teal'c is fine too."

It was Daniel's voice.  He sounded far away.  Slowly, she tried to open 
her eyes.  Her eyelids were heavy; they didn't want to respond.  Gritting 
her teeth against the new bout of agony she forced them open only to find 
darkness.

"Why aren't the lights on?"

The room fell quiet.  //What is going on?//  She struggled to fight the 
confusion that was clouded her mind.  //What haven't they said 
anything?//

"The lights are on Sam," the voice belonged to Janet.  She sounded 
surprised.

//Is this some sort of cruel joke?//  "No they're not", she replied, her 
voice annoyed.  "If they were on I would know it.  I would see...."

That was exactly it ... she couldn't see.

Fear began to twist her stomach.  //Why isn't anybody saying anything?  
What is happening?//  She felt a sob rising in her throat, but choked it 
back down.  She could feel Jack's hand clutching hers tightly, gently 
stroking the back of her hand with his fingers.

There was a soft touch on her face, Janet she guessed as she felt the 
gentle touch around her eyes.  She heard a small click which could only 
be Janet's penlight, and felt a slight pulling at her eye.  She couldn't 
see any light.

"Janet, what's happening?"  She was scared, so scared.  The silence 
wasn't helping; it was making it worse, so much worse.  "Janet?  Please," 
she pleaded.

The doctor's sigh was barely audible, but Sam heard it like it was a 
shout.  "I'm sorry, Sam.  I ... I wasn't expecting this side-effect.  I 
think you might have retinal detachment, but I can't be sure until I run 
some tests."

"So I'm blind?"  The words were painful to say.  Blind ... it burned her 
tongue.  //How can I be blind?//  Disbelief battled with the onset of 
horror.  //How could this happen?//  It changed everything.  Her career 
was over.  Everything was over.

"Yes," Janet's voice was quiet, remorseful.

"No," Sam snapped.  "I won't accept that!  I can't be ... how can I be?"

"It's possible that the trauma from the explosion caused the retina to 
detach from the back wall of your eyes.  It's rare that it happens to 
both, but considering the force of the explosion it's possible.  I'll be 
able to tell you more when I can do some tests, but I can't do any tests 
until the swelling goes down."

Sam could feel her control snap as the finality of Janet's diagnosis set 
in.  "I don't care about that Janet!  Is it permanent?"

"I can't tell for sure."

"In other words it is?"  She yelled, trying to sit up despite the pain.

Jack pulled his hand from hers to push her back against her pillows.  
"Sam, please, calm down," he said comfortingly.

She didn't want comfort.  She didn't want to calm down.  She wanted 
answers.  "Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Colonel!"  She yelled, 
"Why should I calm down?  It's not going to bring my eyesight back is it?  
So why the hell should I be calm?"

"Sam this isn't helping," The Colonel's voice was firmer now.  "I'm sure 
Janet will find a solution."

"How can she find a solution when she doesn't know for sure what is 
wrong?  Don't you understand ... my career is over!  Everything is 
ruined!"

The tears came then.  Big gasping sobs racked her body.  //It just isn't 
fair!//  She shut everything in the room out as her sorrow overtook her.  
She was oblivious to the arms that wrapped themselves about her shoulder, 
the gentle touch on her knees, the words of consolation from her friends.  
None of it mattered anymore.

The prick in her arm did not startle her; she did not even notice or feel 
it. Her sobs turned to quiet whimpers as the sedative took effect and she 
relaxed into the welcoming arms of sleep.  At least she could forget for 
the moment.

                         *******************

Sam lay in her infirmary bed, not daring to move until she could no 
longer hear the clickety-click of Janet's heels in the corridor beyond.  
She shouldn't be doing this to her friend, she knew that, but she 
couldn't help it.  She was so angry at the moment.

The sedative Janet had given her had worn off hours ago, and she had been 
unable to rest since.  Her pain had dulled to a tolerable level thanks to 
the pain killers, but it did nothing to dull her mind.  A mind that had 
been working overtime with recrimination and self-loathing.

It felt like some sort of surreal dream, more like nightmare.  It did not 
feel real to have a life so full of color and then to suddenly be plunged 
into darkness, so complete like some sort of horrific abyss.  But it was 
real; she was blind, and there wasn't a single thing she could do about 
it.

It couldn't be permanent.  She was certain that anytime soon her vision 
would clear up, that she would be able to see *something*.  Even if it 
was blurry it was better than nothing.  She could not accept the idea 
that the rest of her life was going to be shrouded in darkness.  It just 
wasn't going to happen; she wouldn't let it.

A knock on her doorframe drew her attention from her inner musings.  She 
had not been alone for more than five minutes since she had woken the 
second time.  She had no time for any of them.  She did not trust herself 
to talk without yelling, so she chose not to talk.

Her head automatically turned in the direction of the knock before she 
realized that she could not see the person standing at the door.  She 
flinched unwillingly.  Some habits died hard.  This was one she was going 
to have to break quickly.

"Carter?"

She would have known that voice anywhere, regardless of what it said to 
her.  It was the voice that had brought her back from the brink.  It was 
the voice that had brought her back to this.  No, she couldn't blame him 
for this, anymore than she could blame Janet for not coming up with a 
helpful solution.

"I just spoke to Janet," his voice was closer; he was next to her bed 
now.  "I came to see if you were okay".

//No, of course I'm not okay!//  She wanted to respond angrily, but his 
voice was so rich with concern that she couldn't bring herself to add to 
his misery.  "No, I'm not okay," she whispered.

She could feel a weight settling on the bed as a strong arm wrapped 
around her shoulders.  She could not stop herself from tensing at the 
touch.  She was not going to cry; she was not going to show any more 
weakness in front of her friends.

"Please," she murmured, shrugging off his arm.  "I don't want your pity."

The arm disappeared from her shoulder, but he remained on the bed, so 
close to her. 

"Sam," he said, touching her hand softly.  "I'm not here to pity you.  
I'm here as a friend ... a friend you can talk to."

She could feel her temper slipping again, but she tried her hardest to 
rein in the anger.  "I don't want to talk about it.  I'm blind, what is 
there to talk about?"

The weight shifted off the bed jostling her.  "There is a lot to talk 
about.  In fact I came here to tell you something."

Sam tried not to appear interested, but his words piqued her curiosity.  
What?" she asked, her tone more hostile than she had expected.

He sighed irritably, loudly enough for Sam to hear.  "I just spoke with 
General Hammond.  He has granted me a leave of absence."

Sam felt her jaw drop.  The idea was unthinkable.  Why did he want to 
leave the SGC now, when SG-1 needed its leader the most?  "Leave of 
absence," she repeated the words dully.  "Why?"

The weight reappeared on the bed, a hand grabbed hers.  "Because you need 
someone to help you out for a while.  Janet is releasing you tomorrow and 
you need someone with you while you adapt to these changes."

She felt her control snap.  //Of all the condescending, pedantic things 
to say and do!  How dare he?//  "Changes?  I'm *blind* Colonel ... but 
I'm not a *baby*.  I don't need to be coddled by anyone, let alone by 
you!"

"I'm not trying to coddle you Carter!"  She could hear his voice 
wavering, like he was trying to keep himself in check.  "I am doing this 
because I'm your friend, because I want to help you through this.  
Because I care!"

Again the weight moved off the bed and she could hear him pacing loudly.  
"We can't reach your father, your brother has a family; he can't leave 
them for long.  What other options do you have?  Hire someone, a stranger 
in your house?  You need someone there for you and I want to be that 
someone!"

"Why do you want to do this for me?"  Her voice was tinged with disbelief 
and confusion.  She didn't need anyone to help her.  This was temporary 
... it had to be.  But if it wasn't, she would need help.  She was aware 
of that, but she didn't want to ask anyone for help.  It would be like 
admitting defeat.

The pacing stopped.  She could imagine Jack looking at her, his 
expression unreadable as usual.  "Because I think I could have done more 
on that planet ... I didn't and now you're here ... your blind and it's 
my fault!"

The guilt in his voice tore at her.  She knew he was being ridiculous.  
There was nothing he could have done to prevent this; he had been too far 
away.  "It was an accident, sir.  There was nothing you could have done.  
I don't want you doing this because you feel obligated to do it".

She realized her slip the moment the words left her lips.  She had just 
given him the approval he was seeking without even making the conscious 
decision.  She was furious that he had backed her into the corner over 
this, but a small part of her was touched that he wanted to do this for 
her.

"I don't feel obligated Sam.  I want to do this."

She sighed, frustrated and desperately unhappy.  How could she say no?  
"I don't have much choice, do I?" she asked bitterly.  "Fine ... you can 
be my babysitter".

                         *******************

Jack was waiting outside Sam's room when Janet came out. She had helped 
Sam get dressed, as the cast made it very complicated to accomplish even 
the smallest of tasks. He ducked his head around the edge of the door. It 
looked like Janet had found some of Sam's civilian clothes for her to put 
on. Pants were out of the question since she had that cast on. He 
couldn't help but stare at her appearance. Sam was very beautiful out of 
uniform. She was wearing a floral print skirt and a pink top. He crushed 
the images surfacing in his head, as the guilt crept back. 

As he stepped further into the room he looked closer at her. She was 
sitting on the bed; her fingers gripped the edge, her knuckles turning 
white. The rest of her frame tense. 

Sam turned her head slightly at the sound of his booted feet. He figured 
he might as well let her know he was there, instead of freaking her out. 

"Are you all ready to go? Got all your stuff you want to take with you?" 
he asked, feeling like he was talking to a zombie. 

All she did was nod her head in response. That clenched his heart 
tighter. //Will she ever be able to forgive me?//

Jack slung her duffle bag over his shoulder and helped her to the 
wheelchair waiting off to the side that Janet had left for them. Taking 
hold of the handles, he steered her out of the room and in the direction 
of the elevator. 

The elevator ride up was unsettlingly quiet. Sam didn't say a word and he 
didn't feel like talking to himself, which was what he would have been 
doing. So he kept quiet also. The doors opened not a moment too soon. He 
displayed their military IDs as they made their way out of the complex. 

Jack pushed Sam to his pickup, avoiding as many of the bumps in the 
pavement that he could. Even when he did hit a rut, Sam never made a 
sound. 

In fact Sam had been really quiet. She'd been that way since they'd had 
their argument about him taking a leave of absence to take care of her. 
He kept telling himself that she was just being stubborn. But another 
part of him, the dark guilty side, told him she despised him for what had 
happened to her. His rational side reassured him that it wasn't like that 
at all, however his rational side just wasn't loud enough. 

He opened the passenger side door and lifted her out of the wheelchair, 
careful not to bump her broken leg. As he settled her in the seat and 
buckled her seatbelt, he couldn't help but let his eyes roam her 
impassive face. Where was the effervescent smile that always danced on 
her lips? The mischievous sparkle in her eyes was gone, replaced by a 
cool emptiness. 

Sighing, he stepped back and closed the door, making his way to the 
driver's side. As he slid into his seat, he noticed it didn't even faze 
Sam. She was still staring blankly ahead, if you could call it that. Ever 
since she had found out she was blind, she had withdrawn into herself, 
refusing to believe the diagnosis, refusing to talk to anyone. He pulled 
the truck out of the parking lot, and turned in the direction of her 
house. 

He really wished they could have gotten a hold of Jacob, but the Tok'ra 
were on some secret mission, and he couldn't be contacted. Her brother 
was too far away to rely on in the current situation. So that left Jack. 
Not that he minded any, in fact he wanted to do this. He felt he owed it 
to her, after all that had happened. He just wished she would say 
something, anything, to let him know the same old Carter was still there. 

Jack glanced sideways. "Are you hungry? Do you want me to stop somewhere 
and get ya something to eat?"

"No." Sam's visionless eyes remained forward.

"No, you don't want me to stop anywhere, or no, you're not hungry?" His 
brow crinkled with concern. She was really starting to worry him.

"Both." 

"Can you say more than one word at a time? I'm having a hard time 
carrying a conversation with myself," he said, trying to make an attempt 
at humor. Anything to bring down the wall she'd built up around herself.

Still, she made no comment. 

"How 'bout burgers? I can make a quick stop at the grocery store to get 
the fixings for them. I'll make 'em myself. You ever had an O'Neill 
Secret Recipe Cheeseburger? No. Well, once you've had one, you'll never 
want one of those generic fast food burgers again." 

"Fine," she commented as she leaned her head against the cool glass of 
the passenger window. 

Jack's eyes drifted to her again. The darkened sky cast shadows on her 
face, making her look much more vulnerable.

He turned his eyes back to the road, focusing his attention to the small 
grocery store up ahead. He pulled into the parking lot, and shut the 
engine down. As he grabbed the handle on the door, he turned back towards 
Sam. 

"I'll be right back, okay. Quick as a blink." He said, but then mentally 
kicked himself at his last comment. //Man, I'm such a jerk. Why don't I 
realize what I'm saying before opening my mouth?// 

Jack dashed quickly into the store, not wanting to leave her alone for 
very long. Finding all the necessary ingredients, he took up a place in 
the check-out lane. Finally, it was it his turn. He pulled out some cash 
and tossed it on the counter, telling the cashier to keep the change, and 
hastily made his way back to his truck. 

As he approached the vehicle he noticed Sam was still leaning against the 
door. Her eyes were closed and he could see wetness shining on her 
cheeks. His hand reached out involuntarily to touch the window where her 
face was. He closed his eyes in pain; not for himself, but for her. 
Though he never would tell her, he believed the same thing she did; that 
her blindness was permanent. Her life had changed in a matter of twenty-
four hours. She'd had it all. And then it was ripped out of her grasp, by 
the cruel hands of fate. He dropped his hand and opened his eyes, and he 
was startled to find Sam looking back at him. But then he remembered all 
to well that she couldn't see. 

He jerked back and rushed around to the driver's side, got back and 
revved the engine. Again he set course for Sam's house. Maybe once he 
settled in a familiar environment, she would ease out of her shell. He 
could only hope anyway. 

                         *******************

//It is strange how, after so many years of having both sight and sound, 
you don't realize how much your senses are dulled until you have to rely 
on just one.// 

Sam was listening to the many sounds filling her ears. The whoosh of cars 
going by. The sound of the wind whistling through the crack in the 
window. The sound of Jack's fingers tapping the steering wheel. Even 
though she couldn't see anything, she could visualize it perfectly. //It 
is incredible how much you take for granted until you don't have it 
anymore.//

She'd been going over things in her mind for the last hour or so. She was 
devastated, to say the least, about being blind. Being a child of 
science, she relied on the theories she could see. How was she to run 
experiments and work on projects without her eyesight? That was just it 
though; she probably never would again. She had lost the most precious 
gift she'd ever been given, and she didn't even know until it was too 
late. 

She didn't realize Jack had been talking to her, until he said he'd be 
right back, and then got out of the truck. She vaguely heard him mention 
something about a grocery store, but she hadn't been paying that much 
attention.

She exhaled the frustration she was feeling. Pitying herself wasn't going 
to solve anything. No matter how much she denied it, to herself and 
everyone else, she was just going to have to deal with the finality of it 
all. She was never going to see again.

Sam could feel a slight tickle on her cheeks; she reached up and was 
surprised to find tears tracking down her cheeks. Her hand was about 
ready to scrub the evidence from her face, but then she stopped. She 
didn't care who saw them, she didn't bother to hide them.

A shiver ran up her spine. A feeling unlike she had ever experienced 
before, coursed through her body. This was totally different from when 
she perceived Jolinar's feelings or thoughts. This was 
something...different. She turned her face towards the glass, as if to 
look out, but the reality slammed back into her. She was really going to 
have to get used to this. 

She heard the driver's door open again, and turned her head. A cool 
breeze wisped into the cab, followed by the scent that was distinctly 
Jack. A musky, out-doorsy scent. One that she would always associate with 
him, whether she could see him or not.

                         *******************

Jack applied his foot lightly to the brake as he coasted to a stop in 
front of Sam's house. He switched the ignition off and hopped out of the 
truck. Good thing there were street lights, because it was pitch black. 
No moon or stars out tonight. 

He walked around to the passenger side, making sure Sam wasn't leaning 
against it before he opened it. He wasn't sure how he was going to get 
her and groceries into the house together. He decided to take her in 
first and get her settled in.

She already had her seatbelt undone and ready for him to lift her out. 
She surprised him when she reached her arms out to him. She had been 
distant all day; he figured he would have to coerce her to let him help 
her. However, that one small gesture was as far as it went. Her face 
remained expressionless. He slid his arm under her knees, his hand 
brushed the sensitive skin above her calve. He felt goose bumps erupt 
over her legs and arms, causing chills to run through his own body. //How 
did I ever think I could be this close to her and not react?//

Her arms wrapped around his neck and she laid her head on his shoulder. 
His heart lurched. //Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I should have tried 
harder to contact Jacob or her brother. Maybe I should have let Janet 
take care of her. Maybe...//

//Jack, you gotta pull yourself together. She needs you... and you need 
her.//

He walked slowly up the sidewalk so as not to jar her. Good thing he 
already had her key grasped in his hand, or else he would've had a hard 
time getting to it; holding her and all.

When he reached the door, he bent down a bit to reach the lock. With a 
small struggle he got the key in the lock and turned it, and the door 
swung open. He hit the light switch with his elbow, the room flooding 
with light. His eyes squinted at the sudden change. 

He looked at Carter and a wave of sadness, and remorse overwhelmed him. 
Her blank eyes were focused on his face, whether she knew it or not. An 
invisible hand wrapped its constrictive force around his heart. This was 
killing him seeing her like this. 

This wasn't Carter. 

This was an empty shell...an impostor living in Carter's body.

Having nudged the door closed with his foot, Jack proceeded further into 
her house. 

"You can put me down now," she uttered softly.

"You want the sofa or your bed?" Jack asked full of concern.

"Bed."

He weaved his way around various pieces of furniture and down the short 
hallway to her bedroom. He again hit the lights with his elbow. Treading 
over to her bed, he laid her gently on top. He arranged one of her 
pillows under her injured leg. His hand lingered a moment too long on her 
knee, because her head shot up. She searched for him with unseeing eyes, 
almost frantically. 

"I'll go get the groceries in," he managed to choke out, finding his 
voice at last.

Carter nodded her head, giving him his leave.

He made his way back to the front door, quicker than he had the first 
time. The knowledge that he was deeply affected by her closeness, spurred 
him on. He nearly stumbled down the steps, as his mind was not on his 
current task. He reached into the truck and pulled the sack of groceries 
into his arms. Making dinner; that is what he was going to set his mind 
to doing. Something neutral. Something safe. 

                         *******************

As soon as Sam no longer felt Jack's presence filling her room, she sat 
up. She did not need babying. //I may be blind but I'm not helpless.// 
She swung her legs over the side of the bed, careful not to jostle her 
broken leg. She mentally pictured the layout of her room in her head. She 
could "see" her dresser off to the side. She wanted to get into something 
more comfortable than what she had on. She stood up, getting her bearings 
before she attempted to take a step. Straightening a little, she 
continued to hold onto the bed for support. 

She took small slow steps, hanging onto the image in her head. //Almost 
there, just a few more steps. //

After what seemed like an eternity, her hip nudged against the edge of 
the dresser, rattling some bottles and picture frames. She was slightly 
out of breath; the weight of the cast drained all of her energy. She 
leaned against the dresser and shifted her weight to her good leg. 

She gingerly removed the arm that had been dislocated from the sling. She 
was going to need both of her hands for this task. She felt around for 
the knobs on the drawer. When she was sure she had grasped the right set 
of knobs she gave it a slight tug. She felt around in the drawer for the 
item of clothing she had in mind. Finding it, she smiled triumphantly. 
She could do this after all. 

She shook out the old comfortable pair of sweat pants. She draped them 
over her shoulder so she could take her skirt off. She found the zipper 
on the side and undid it. The soft material of the skirt floated to the 
floor, and she lifted her casted leg first then her good leg. Once out of 
that she brought the sweats down lower. With the support of her right 
leg, she lifted her broken leg a few inches so she could hook the pants 
leg over it. It seemed so simple in the scenario in her head, though 
testing her theory she found it wasn't so easy. The cast was too big 
around for the pants leg. Discarding that article of clothing, she went 
in search of another. 

Maybe shorts would be a better alternative. She dug deeper into the 
drawer. She sifted through her clothes. She could nearly discern what 
they were by the texture of them. When she thought she was going to have 
to go to another drawer, she came across a pair of cotton shorts. She 
gauged the width of the leg holes, hoping the cast would fit through it. 

Again propping her hip on the edge of the dresser, she went about her 
chore. She successfully got her broken leg through the leg hole, and set 
about getting her other leg through. Just when she thought she had it, 
she lost her balance. She grabbed at the first thing her hand came in 
contact with. Unfortunately the doily covering the dresser top was not 
stable enough to hold. She crashed to the carpeted floor, perfume bottles 
and picture frames following behind her. 

The fall stunned her, but when she realized what had happened she just 
lay there. Too weak to try to get up, and too discouraged to continue. 

                         *******************

Jack was removing the grocery items from the paper sack when he heard a 
crash from Carter's room. 

"Oh, God..." Thinking the worst, he raced through the house to her room. 

His breath caught in his chest when he saw her lying on the floor 
motionless and in a state of undress. He dropped to the floor and ran his 
hands over her face, checking for wounds. When he found none he continued 
to her arms, and lastly her legs. On the inventory of her legs he saw 
that she had been trying to put on some shorts. She managed one leg okay, 
but the other wasn't even close. He deducted that must have been when she 
lost it. 

His eyes went back to her face and found her eyes closed. Surely she 
didn't knock herself out. Not on carpet. Deciding to finish dressing her 
before replacing her back on the bed, he reached for the shorts that were 
askew on her legs. He tried not to look anywhere else but the essential 
parts, her legs. He tried, he really did. He had to shut his eyes to gain 
control, as he pulled the shorts up and around her waist. //This is 
Carter for heaven's sake. Carter.//

That's when he heard the choked sob. His eyes flew open. //Maybe she had 
hurt herself.// 

"Carter? You okay?" He asked, his voice low and soothing. 

Another sob was his answer. 

//Oh God!//

"Carter, are you hurt? Please answer me."

She started crying harder then, the sobs wracking her body. Jack pulled 
her into a sitting position and lifted her onto his lap. He held her 
close, his arms wrapped securely around her. She buried her face into his 
chest. 

He could feel her sorrow seeping into his own body. He wished with all 
his heart he could take her pain away. She didn't deserve this. No one 
deserved this. 

He didn't say a word, knowing she needed get it all out

After several long minutes, her sobs subsided, followed only by an 
occasional hiccup. She lifted her head as though to look at him, but then 
remembered...again. She pulled away and slid off his lap. 

"I want to lay down now," was all she said to him. She drew back into 
herself again; trying to avoid him by not speaking. 

He helped her stand, as she didn't want to be carried again, and assisted 
her as she hopped on her good leg, to her bed. She turned on her side 
away from him and remained silent. 

Jack left the room, discouragement and guilt weighing heavily on his 
shoulders.

                         *******************

Jack perched on the edge of the bathtub and ran his hand through the 
water, testing it.  //Perfect.  The right amount of bubbles.//  Grabbing 
a couple of small bottles from the counter he uncapped them and added a 
couple of drops to the bath.  Sara always used them in the bath when she 
wanted to relax, sandalwood and lavender. 

He hoped that she liked this.  He was still worried about her.  Sam had 
withdrawn again since she had her fall.  He had tried to get her to eat 
and drink but she had refused.  He had thought that her breakdown might 
have helped her a little, allowed her to open up a little more.  Instead 
she had remained silent and distant.

Occasionally the sound of her sobbing would reach him.  The sound tore at 
him.  He wished he could do more, but when he had tried to comfort her 
again she had shrugged him off.  He wasn't going to force her to do 
something she didn't want to do, so if she didn't want to be consoled he 
would respect her wishes.

She needed to sleep.  She was exhausted, but she was so upset she 
couldn't.  He hoped that the bath would relax her enough to make her 
drowsy.

He knocked on her door and opened it.  "Carter?"

She didn't answer.  She was lying on her side, her back to him.  He could 
see the shudders running through her body with the force of her tears.  A 
lump formed in his throat as he approached the bed uncertainly.  He 
didn't like this, seeing her so distraught and being unable to do 
anything about it.  The only thing he could do was be there, show her 
that he was there for her.

Gingerly he perched himself on the end of the bed and touched her ankle.  
She froze and her tears cut off abruptly.  He could see her eyes were 
open, blinking unseeingly.  He wanted so much to pull her into his arms, 
hold her against his chest as she wept but he couldn't.  Something held 
him back.

"I drew you a bath ... thought it might help to relax you a little".

Her head lifted off the pillow a little, as if she was about to look at 
him, then realized she couldn't.  Her face twisted with anger and sorrow.  
It hurt him so much to see her like this.

"Come on, it might make you feel a little better," he was trying his 
hardest to sound reassuring.

She nodded slightly, and sat up.  She looked hesitant, and Jack instantly 
realized why.  She was wondering how he was going to get her into the 
bath without looking at her.  Thankfully, he had it all organized ... he 
hoped.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, sir."

"You have to trust me, Carter ... I won't look.  I have your bathrobe 
ready and a plastic bag to protect your cast."

"I can't take a bath in my bathrobe," she snapped.

"No, you can't."  His mind was working overtime trying to come up with a 
solution.  The idea had been a good one at the time, but he'd failed to 
think of this.  How was he going to do it?  How was he going to handle 
getting a naked ... semi-naked ... Carter into the bathtub.

Then he had it.

"Well if you don't mind getting a towel wet just wrap it around yourself 
and you can take it off when you get into the bath".

Grudgingly, Sam nodded her head in agreement.  "Fine." Slowly she pushed 
herself up into a sitting position.

Jack quickly left the room to get a towel, bathrobe and one of the bags 
that Janet had given them to wrap the cast in.  Handing the towel and 
robe to Sam, he waited outside the room to let her get ready.  Second 
thoughts began to plague him.  Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.  He 
hadn't thought about how much his closeness to her might affect him.

"Colonel?" Sam's voice sounded so small and uncertain to his ears.  "Um, 
I uh ... could you help me?" 

He opened the door cautiously, wanting to help her, but unsure of how he 
could handle it himself.  He knew she had had problems earlier changing 
clothes, now she was in the process of undressing.  The thought sent 
shivers and hot surges through his body. //Control yourself, Jack. .//

He stepped further into the room.  Sam's back was facing him; she had her 
robe on, so he wasn't sure what the problem was.  As he rounded her, he 
saw her clutching the top part of it closed with her nervous hands.  She 
was shaking.

"Carter?"

"Um, Sir, I uh ... can't get my shorts off," she explained, her voice 
slightly shaky. 

Jack's eyes went lower and sure enough he saw the bright blue cotton 
shorts peeking out from between the gap in her robe.  //Oh God, how am I 
going to manage this?//   He had barely made it when he helped her the 
first time.  Only this time he would be uncovering skin, not vice versa.  
He didn't know if he could do this, even though he knew he had to.  He 
knew he would eventually end up seeing her in a state of undress.  He was 
going to be staying there for at least the next six weeks, until she got 
her cast off.  So it would only seem obvious that he would be in this 
position.

He hadn't thought of this when he had made the decision to do this.  He 
had not chosen to help her out of his feelings for her, thinking that it 
could be a way to get close to her.  He had made the decision because of 
the guilt that he had felt.  Guilt that was rapidly giving way to his 
feelings.

"Sure, Carter," he replied, hoping his voice didn't give away any of the 
apprehension that he was suddenly feeling.

Trying hard not to look, he reached out to touch her shorts.  His hands 
were shaking.  //Get it together man!//  He squeezed his eyes shut as he 
gently tugged at the shorts.  //Oh, this is too close.//  His finger 
brushed her thigh causing an involuntary shiver to course through his 
body.  //Oh, God.//

He managed to pull the shorts past her backside before turning her and 
guiding her back to the bed to sit down.  With her sitting down, it was 
easier to slide the shorts off past the cast, but Jack felt like a wreck.  
He studiously avoided looking at her face, ashamed at the feelings that 
were being evoked in him.  He felt like a dirty old man, for entertaining 
the thoughts in his head.

He pulled them off with a relieved sigh.  "There you go.  Should we get 
the cast wrapped now?"

He wondered if it was a flush that he could see coloring her cheeks or 
just his imagination.  Her head turned in his direction.  "Just give me a 
moment to wrap the towel around me."

Again he stepped out of the room, sagging against the wall.  He silently 
cursed at himself.  //What happened to all my military training?  Has it 
suddenly just upped and left me?  I've been in worse situations than this 
and handled them with much more ease than I've had handled this one, 
supposedly simple, predicament.//

"Oh Jack, you've fallen hard now, haven't you?" he muttered.  

"What was that, sir?"

//Crap.//  

"Nothing Carter.  You ready yet?"

At her okay he re-entered the room, thankful that the bath towel he had 
given her was long enough to be seen below the hem of the robe.  //This 
is fine ... piece of cake.//  He quickly set about covering the cast and 
ensuring that there was no chance of water getting in.

Satisfied, he stood and slid his arms underneath Sam.  Ignoring the 
twinge in his ribs that the motion caused, he straightened and lifted 
her.  His breath caught in his throat as her arms slid around his neck.  
Carrying her into the bathroom, he gently placed her on the toilet seat.

As she removed the robe Jack busied himself with rechecking the bath 
water and bubbles.  //Still perfect.//  He returned his attention to Sam 
and had to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in his throat.  She was 
naked under that towel.  One little slip would mean embarrassment for the 
two of them.  

He picked her up even more carefully and lowered her slowly into the tub.  
"Keep your leg up," he reminded her as he lowered her into the water.  
"It's not too hot is it?"

"No," she sighed.  "It's perfect ... just right."

Pulling his arms out from under her he gently took hold of her leg and 
guided it into the sling he had jimmied above the bath.  Satisfied that 
the cast was completely out of the water he stepped away and dried his 
arms, trying his hardest not to look at Sam.

She was wriggling, obviously attempting to remove the towel.  He couldn't 
help himself; he could feel his eyes sliding in her direction.  

//Stop it Jack!//  

He turned and found himself looking at her reflection in the mirror.

He bit back a frustrated groan and scrubbed a hand across his face.  He 
needed to get away, to get some space between himself and the naked woman 
in the bathtub.  The naked woman he loved and couldn't do anything about.  
He couldn't take advantage of this situation.

"I'll just be in the kitchen.  Give me a yell if you need anything."

"Colonel?"  Her voice had a high, urgent tone to it.  "Please, will you 
stay... talk to me?  I don't want to be alone."

He couldn't resist that plaintive tone.  He couldn't resist her.  Biting 
back the little voice that was telling him this was a bad idea; he 
perched himself on the toilet seat.  //Oh, I hope those bubbles last!//

"Carter, why don't you call me Jack?  We're not at work, we don't need 
ranks.  It's so formal."

"Fine, but only if you stop calling me Carter!"

Her voice sounded almost joking, but the pained undertone belied it.  It 
still hurt him, to hear that and know that it would be there for a long 
time.  That there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

"So," he started.  He began rubbing his hands together, trying hard not 
to focus his attention on the beautiful naked woman in the bath next to 
him.  "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," Sam sighed sleepily, resting her head against the lip of 
the bath.  "Just talk to me about anything.  Tell me about your 
childhood."

                         *******************

Sam hadn't thought it possible that she could be so relaxed, not so soon 
after her "accident".  But she was relaxing, her various aches and pains 
oozing away thanks to the blissfully warm water she was soaking in.  She 
could almost feel herself forgetting all her problems.  Almost.

She was surprised that she found Jack's voice such a comfort.  Even more 
surprising to her was that his mere presence consoled her.  Her anger at 
him for assisting to help her was rapidly fading.  She was thankful now 
that he had insisted, that she wasn't being helped by a stranger.

He was talking to her, but she had no idea about what.  She inhaled 
deeply, breathing in the soothing aroma of sandalwood and lavender.  How 
had he known to use those oils?  In the course of the last few hours she 
had quickly learned that she had underestimated Colonel Jack O'Neill.  
She knew now she had a lot to learn about this man.

He had been so generous and giving in the last few days, since the 
accident.  He had been patient, put up with her yelling and her stubborn 
refusal to accept the truth of the situation.  Steadfastly remaining near 
her in case she wanted to open up to him.  She had been told that he 
hadn't left her bedside during the time she was unconscious, though at 
the time she hadn't really cared.  Now she was beginning to.  //Why does 
he care so much?//

She knew he had feelings for her, but why did he still want to be around 
her, knowing that she could no longer do any of the things that he loved?  
They no longer had anything in common.

She had given him a fright when she had fallen earlier.  She had scared 
the living daylights out of herself.  But she was having trouble 
forgetting how tender he had been as he straightened her clothes and 
consoled her as she wept.  Tenderness was something she had never 
associated with Jack O'Neill.

Now this bath.  It was a sweet gesture, one she appreciated a lot more 
than she probably let on.  It was just what she needed after several days 
confined to a bed in the infirmary.  She allowed herself to relax, to 
wallow in this luxurious tub.

"Sam?"

His insistent use of her name drew her from her musings.  "Yeah?"

"I asked you if the water was still ok ... or do you want me to add some 
more hot water to it?"  His voice held a touch of humor to it, telling 
her that he knew that she wasn't listening to what he was talking about.

Now that he had mentioned it, she did notice that it was a lot cooler, 
nearing lukewarm.  "Mmm ... some more heat would be nice."

Sam could hear him getting up, almost feel him leaning over her to reach 
for the tap.  She heard the squeak of the tap turning, then felt the 
water cascading into the bath.

"Tell me when it's warm enough, okay?"

"Hmm mmm," she replied.

She felt the need to be doing something constructive.  Sitting up 
slightly, conscious of the fact that she didn't want to show too much 
flesh, she began feeling along the edge of the bath.  Where was it?

Her hand come into contact with something squishy and cold and she 
couldn't help but smile a little.  She picked up the sponge and set about 
trying to find the soap.  A strong hand gripped hers, turning it over to 
face palm up and opening her fingers at the same time.  A bar of soap was 
placed in her hand.

She smiled, more at the touch than anything else. "Thank you, Jack."

Jack.  It felt unusual saying his name.  She was so used to calling him 
Colonel or Sir that it was going to be hard to break the habit.  She had 
to admit though that it felt nice on the tongue.

"Would you like me to scrub your back?"

The question caught her completely off guard, and she could tell by the 
thump of Jack sitting back on the toilet and the soft sigh that he hadn't 
expected him to ask it either.  The problem was that she really did want 
to say yes.  Was it appropriate?  But why did appropriateness even matter 
anymore, she was no longer in the military, therefore they were no longer 
privy to the same limitations that they had been three days ago.

"Sure," she replied shyly, holding out the soap and sponge.

She could hear him moving, and then her hands were empty.  Sitting 
forward she crossed her arms over her breasts, covering herself.  His 
motions were tentative at first, but the slow circular motions picked up 
a little in speed and pressure.  It was blissful.  Sam couldn't remember 
the last time that she'd had someone doing this for her, and Jack O'Neill 
was great at it.  She let out a deep breath, relaxing even more.  This 
felt too good.

But as quick as it started it finished.  She sighed and leaned back 
against the tub sleepily.  Maybe it was time to get out.  Her exhaustion 
had caught up with her; she was ready for sleep.  Hastily she washed the 
rest of her body, noticing that Jack had gone awfully quiet all of a 
sudden.

Was he watching her?  Was he embarrassed?  

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

She knew this was going to be difficult, but she couldn't stay here all 
night.  "I think I want to get out now".

Sam could hear him swallow loudly.  Obviously the same thought had 
registered with him.  Getting her into the bath had been difficult 
enough, getting her out was something else entirely.  She sighed knowing 
there was going to be no easy way around this.  It's not like she could 
just stand up.

"Okay," he replied, his voice was quiet.

//Oh to hell with it.//  "Jack I think the easiest way to do this is just 
give me a towel and let the water out.  I can cover myself with the towel 
and when the waters gone I can just stand up."

"I guess there's no other way".

She could hear him getting up; then felt a towel touch her arm.  She 
trusted him not to look.  She knew he wouldn't.  Taking the towel, she 
pulled out the plug with one hand and quickly arranged it over herself, 
hoping that she had managed to cover herself completely.

The water made a sucking sound as it all disappeared down the drain.  She 
could feel her leg being moved and guessed that Jack was taking it out of 
the restraint.  Her leg was laid down gently in the bathtub.  "Do you 
need some help standing up?"

"Umm ... yeah I think I do."

His hands wrapped around her arms and he pulled her up as gently as he 
could.  She struggled to hold the towel in place as she was pulled to her 
feet, the sudden shift in orientation shifting it.  She could feel a 
blush warming her cheeks.  His hands were moved and she could hear his 
feet shuffling before something was wrapped around her shoulders.  Her 
bathrobe.

Smiling gratefully she pulled it around herself awkwardly.  She finally 
managed to get her arms through the sleeves, tie the robe around her and 
lose the towel without showing off too much flesh.

By the time Jack had carried her back into her bedroom she was exhausted.  
Rubbing a towel over her hair to get the excess moisture off, she lay 
back against the pillows intending to rest for a few minutes.  She fell 
into a deep sleep almost instantly.

                         *******************

The muted sound of sobbing drew Jack out of his sleep.  He had been 
sleeping lightly since he had gone to bed, subconsciously listening for 
any signs that Sam might be in trouble.  Not that he had really been able 
to sleep anyway.  His thoughts had been disturbed since Sam had had her 
bath.

He had thought he would be able to maintain his focus when he had decided 
to take on the task of helping Sam out.  He had thought that his personal 
feelings wouldn't get in the way.  He had been wrong, terribly wrong.  He 
had loved her from afar for so long, of course the sudden closeness to 
her would affect him.

Sam had fallen asleep almost as soon as he had laid her on the bed after 
the bath.  He had been right in thinking that she was exhausted.  She was 
more than exhausted if that was even possible.

He had gone to bed shortly after, his body protesting with their own 
aches and pains.  His ribs burned with every breath.  It was worth it 
though, rather than trusting some stranger to look after her, to do it 
himself.  It just felt right.

Sliding out of the bed, he pulled on a pair of tracksuit pants and padded 
to Sam's bedroom.  He had left the door open so he had a better chance to 
hear her call if she needed help.

He knocked quietly on the door to alert her to his presence.  "Sam?  Are 
you okay?"

Her sobbing cut off abruptly, as if she was surprised that he was there, 
that he had heard her.  Jack could still hear her sniffling as he stepped 
into the room.  Sam was sitting in the chair by the window, facing out 
into the darkened night.  He could see her form silhouetted by the 
moonlight flowing in through the open curtains.

Jack rushed over to her and kneeled in front of her, searching her for 
any signs of further injury, worried that she might have hurt herself 
trying to get from the bed to the chair.  Seeing none, he brought his 
eyes up to her face.  "Sam," he whispered questioningly. "Tell me what's 
wrong ... please."

Tear trails shined on her cheeks, the sight ripping at his heart.  He 
wasn't sure if she was aware of it, but she turned and looked straight 
into his own eyes.  "I feel so ... alone. Like everything is closing in 
around me."

"You're not alone, Sam ... I'm here for you.  I won't let you be alone."  
Jack reached out and took her hand in his to reinforce his words with 
actions.

A lone tear ran down her cheek as she closed her eyes for a moment, a 
mournful look crossing her face.  "You won't understand, Jack," she 
sighed.

Reaching out, he wiped the tear from her cheek.  "Try me."

"It's hard to put into words.  I just ... in less than a day everything I 
took for granted has been taken from me," she started.  The tears began 
rolling down her face again.  "What did I do to deserve this?" Sam 
whispered into the darkness.

Jack brought his hands up and cupped her face.  "You did nothing to 
deserve this.  You are the most generous, kindest, bravest person I 
know."

"If anything that should have been me in that blast," he went on unable 
to stop the words leaving his mouth as the guilt rose again.

"No ... but I..." Sam stammered. 

Jack rose to his feet and pulled Sam to her feet with him.  He took her 
place in the vacated chair and eased her onto his lap, cradling her. Sam 
stiffened when he put his arms around her, but then relaxed to his 
soothing touch, finding comfort in the strong arms enveloping her.

Sam's arms snaked around his neck as she settled her head on his 
shoulder.  "Why are you doing this to yourself, Jack?"

"Doing what to myself?"

Sam sighed softly.  He could feel her warm breath whisper across his 
throat.  "Torturing yourself ... blaming yourself for what happened when 
there was nothing you could have done?"

Jack closed his eyes, trying so hard to ignore how good it felt to hold 
her in his arms.  "I could have done something, Sam," he replied 
adamantly.  "I just know that there was something else I could have done 
to have prevented this."

He could feel her bristling in his arms.  "You're wrong, Jack.  I don't 
blame you for what happened ... it was an accident.  You know that, and I 
know that, and we just have to accept it."

"I can't accept it, Sam, any more than you can."

She turned her face back into his chest and tried to choke back a sob.  
Instinctively he wrapped his arms tighter around her.  "I'm trying to 
accept it.  It's hard, Jack, so hard.  How am I supposed to accept that I 
will never see again?  That I can no longer do any of the things that I 
love?"

She started sobbing again.  "It's just not fair, Jack.  I don't want to 
live the rest of my life in darkness.  I don't want to never be able to 
see the faces of my loved ones again.  I don't want to be alone!"

"Sam. You can still see us, just in a different way."

He took hold of her arms, disentangling them from his neck.  Taking her 
hands he guided them until they touched his face gently.  "Look at me 
this way".

Jack could feel his hesitation as her fingers lingered on his face 
softly.  He tensed, closing his eyes as her fingers began their slow 
exploration of his face.  His breath froze in his chest as he felt them 
run lightly over his lips.  He could not help the involuntary shiver that 
ran through him.

Her fingers continued their exploration. Her light touch moved to his 
chin, her nails scraping across his stubble.  He opened his eyes, unable 
to shut out the images running through his head.  Her fingers moved to 
his temple, hesitating at his hairline, but moving further as though with 
a will of their own.  He swallowed against the lump in his throat.

He looked into her eyes.  If he didn't know that she couldn't see, he 
could've sworn he could see her eyes sparkle with ... pleasure ... love?  
He was also aware that if she could see his eyes she would find the same 
thing matched in them.  He wanted her, now more than ever.  He wanted to 
show her that she would never be alone; not as long as he still breathed.

His arms lifted, almost of their own volition, reached out to touch her 
face gently.  He couldn't help himself.  Closing his eyes he brushed his 
fingers along her jaw line, wanting to experience it like she was.  Her 
skin was so soft, so delicate.  He couldn't stop.  He traced her 
eyebrows, down her nose, across her cheeks, relishing in the feel of her 
silky flesh under his calloused fingertips.

His hand tingled with the sensations stirring in him; he hesitated for a 
brief moment.  Slowly, cautiously his fingers moved to her lips.  This 
was dangerous, so dangerous, but it felt so right.  She sucked in a sharp 
breath as his fingers moved across her lips.  He felt them part slightly.  
//Was that an invitation for something more?//

She licked her lips; he could feel her tongue brush over the tip of his 
finger.  He was lost to her in that instant.  Leaning forward slightly he 
captured her lips with his and pulled her closer to him, unable to 
restrain himself any longer.  It just felt so right to be holding her in 
his arms, to be kissing her.

He tangled a hand in her hair as the kiss deepened, pulling her even 
closer to him in the same motion.  Her hands dropped from his face to 
settle on his shoulders.  His very bare shoulders.  The touch caused 
goose bumps to rise on his flesh as her hands swept down to explore his 
chest.  

The groan rose unbidden deep in his throat.  This was wrong.  This was 
very wrong.  No matter how right it felt ... it was still wrong.  This 
was not the sort of comfort Sam needed.  He was taking advantage of the 
situation.  Reluctantly he broke the embrace and with it the spell.

He sat silent for a moment trying to catch his breath.  He had dreamed of 
that moment for so long, and when it had finally come, when they weren't 
under the influence of some alien virus, they were themselves and not 
their alternate versions, they weren't caught in some endless time loop, 
he had stopped it.

Why?  Was it because she was blind?  Upset?  Was it because of his 
pervading guilt?  He didn't know.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he whispered, conscious that her face still hovered 
inches from his own.  "I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like 
that."

"You didn't take advantage of me, Jack", she scoffed. "You just showed me 
that I can still experience things, but in a different way."

He could still feel her hands, pressed lightly against his chest.  He 
tried hard to suppress the thoughts that he shouldn't be having.  "You 
should try and get some more sleep."

He stood, still holding her in his arms and moved to the bed.  Placing 
her gently on the bed he straightened, watching her dolefully.  Oh, how 
he wanted this to be different!  He couldn't help the regret that was 
flooding through his emotions.  Pulling away from her was the hardest 
thing he had to do, no matter how much he told himself that this wasn't 
the right time.

He could hear Sam's sigh as he released her, and though she was blind her 
eyes were fixed in his direction.  She reached out, her hand groping in 
mid-air.  A look of panic flashed across her face as her hand met only 
thin air.  Seeing the panic, Jack reached over and took the hand, holding 
it tightly in his own.  

"Please, Jack, I don't want to be alone tonight."

She sounded so frightened and uncertain, so unlike the Sam Carter that he 
knew.  He couldn't resist her.  He couldn't deny his desire to help her, 
to hold her and comfort her.  He settled himself on the bed next to her, 
fighting back his sudden apprehension.  Nothing was going to happen; he 
wasn't going to let it happen.

"Hold me, Jack," her voice was tiny, almost childlike.

She was on her side, her back to him.  Rolling onto his side he slid 
closer to her, pressing the front of his body to the back of hers, 
spooning his body against her.  He placed his arm across her waist, 
pulling her closer to him, fighting the impulses that the close contact 
was causing through his body.

He pressed a soft kiss to the back of her neck, feeling her already 
relaxing and succumbing to the arms of sleep.  "Good night, Sam."

                         *******************

Sam lay in bed relishing in the slight breeze coming from the window. 
Jack had gotten up during the night to open it, when she had become hot. 

//Jack.//

He had stayed with her the entire night, holding her. Whenever she would 
awaken from a thoroughly unpleasant dream, he was there to comfort her, 
hold her tighter. Without knowing it, he had directed her to the road to 
recovery. His patience and diligence touched her more than anything ever 
would. That said a lot more than words ever could, she realized. He was 
willing to give up six weeks of his life for her, to make sure that she 
would get better. She decided today would be the day to accept the 
changes in her life. She would have to sooner or later. //I owe it to 
myself... and to Jack. No better time than the present.//

Her hearing was becoming more attuned to her environment. //Guess I will 
have to rely on that from now on,// she thought. She heard bare feet 
padding down the hallway. //Jack.// A smile lit her face as she thought 
of him. She thought of the kiss they shared last night, brief it was. 
//Even so, it was wonderful.// She could feel herself blushing. //Geez, 
what am I, a teenager?// She laughed at herself. 

She knew the moment that he entered her room. That was another sense she 
was becoming aware of. The ability to detect peoples' presences. 
//Okay...Jack's presence,// she thought, causing her to giggle slightly. 

A wonderfully exquisite aroma wafted from the doorway. //Is 
that...bacon?// She didn't realize how hungry she was until that moment. 
She hadn't wanted to eat anything last night. Now she was famished. 

"You're awake!" Jack announced mildly surprised. 

"Yeah," she answered him with a beaming smile. 

A soft chuckle rang in her ears as he approached her bed. The bed dipped 
as he settled himself next to her, placing a tray across her legs. He 
placed a napkin in her lap, and took hold of her right hand. Her stomach 
lurched at his touch. Even after being held by him all night, his touch 
still set her skin afire. He placed a cool metallic object in her hand. A 
fork. Her mouth lifted. 

"Do you wanna try, or do you want some help first?" He asked, just 
slightly granting her some independence.

"I think I want to do it on my own," Sam said, as she attempted her first 
step to recovery. 

Sam felt around on the plate with her fork. When she finally thought she 
had it, though not sure what, hooked on the end of her fork, she brought 
it to her lips.

The cold metal touched her open lips, but nothing else. She felt 
something drop on the napkin in her lap. She sighed lightly.

"It's okay, I'll get it," Jack offered. His hand retrieved the fallen 
food item and placed it on her fork for her. 

She lifted the fork again, leaning forward a little to meet it. It made 
it to her lips. Then sheer sensation. //This is the best omelet I've ever 
tasted. I knew that Jack could cook, but this is incredible!//

"This is great," she managed to say around the mouthful of food. 

Jack laughed lightly beside her, making her skin flush. If this was how 
she reacted to his every action, she didn't know if she would make it six 
weeks with him...alone. She didn't think she cared, though. She was happy 
at the moment. If this was how she felt with him around to help her, then 
maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

She did achieve the small task of finishing her breakfast with Jack's 
help. He let her take her time, and tried to let her accomplish it on her 
own. She was grateful he was there. She would have to let him know that 
later. Right now though, she was enjoying the moment alone with him, as 
he helped her finish her juice. She wiped her mouth with the napkin, and 
leaned back against the headboard, thoroughly contented. 

"So do you want to get dressed now, or stay in bed a bit longer?" Jack 
inquired, giving her a choice. 

Sam chewed on her lip, thinking. It felt good lying in bed, but she 
wanted to get up and face the day...face the world. She thought she was 
ready.

"I want to get up," Sam answered, already pushing at the tray on her lap. 

"Okay, there's no hurry. Take it easy. Here let me help you," Jack said, 
fussing over her. 

He removed the tray and set it off to the side. She flipped the covers 
off, and proceeded to scoot to the edge of the bed. Jack's hand encircled 
the elbow of her good arm as he assisted her to rise from the bed. She 
stood, and her head started spinning. She couldn't see, but she was 
dizzy. //Must be everything catching up to me,// she thought. She 
remained still for a moment, willing the nausea to pass. 

"Are you okay? Do you need to lay back down?" he voiced his concern. 

Sam pressed a hand to her stomach, as though to push away the sick 
feeling lingering there. She inhaled a cleansing breath. "Yeah, I think 
I'll be okay."

"All right. What do you want to wear?" he asked. 

"Um...I don't know. Can you just lead me to my closet?"

"Sure. No problem." Jack led her to the other side of her room. She could 
hear him sliding the closet doors open. 

"I want to do this on my own," Sam reasoned turning in his general 
vicinity. 

"Well..." His voiced sounded strained, and she knew he was remembering 
last night's incident.

"Seriously. I want to do this," she affirmed. 

"If you promise me that you will call me the minute you need help. Okay?" 
He countered, leeriness lacing his voice. 

"I promise." Sam smiled back at him. 

"Hold on..."  

Sam heard him pulling something over the carpet across the room.  He 
placed her hand atop the back of the wooden chair that usually graced the 
corner of her room.  

"For stability," he reassured.

She couldn't hold back her smile.  He thought of everything. 

"I'll be right outside your door if you need me, okay," he said, still 
hesitant.

"Okay.  And Jack?" she added.

She heard Jack's feet shuffling on the carpet as she pictured him turning 
towards her.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Her voice went soft as she turned back to her closet.  She 
heard him pad across the room and her door shut softly, causing a small 
smile to grace her lips.

                         *******************

Jack was leaning against the wall when he heard Sam call his name.  He 
wasn't too worried, since her voice was void of urgency.  He turned the 
knob and let himself back into her room.  What he saw next caused his 
face to break into a huge smile. 

Sam had managed to dress herself.  She had found a lime green wrap around 
skirt and a pinkish pull over top.  //Not Cosmo worthy at all.//  But he 
wasn't going to tell Sam that.  It would probably make her feel worse.  
And he didn't want to do that.  //In fact she looks kinda...cute.//

"Ya all done?" Jack asked trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"I think so.  Do I look okay?  I mean do I match and everything?" Sam 
asked worriedly. 

"You look great," He encouraged her.  He was glad she couldn't see him 
right now, for he knew he was grinning like a fool.

Jack eyed her from head to toe, pleased nevertheless at her appearance.  
Anything beat the crap out of those baggy BDUs any day. 

"Do you want me to help you into the living room?  So you can prop your 
leg up or something?  Janet did say that you should keep it elevated for 
at least a week," Jack urged as he slipped back into nurturing mode.  

"Yeah, I think I'm ready to sit down.  This kind of wore me out," Sam 
admitted.

Jack made his way over to her and set the chair off to the side, making 
sure to remember to put in its place later.  He lifted Sam into his arms, 
his heart beating a cadence as he did.  If he thought it couldn't get any 
worse, Sam trustingly put her arms around his neck, making his heart go 
into overdrive. 

"I could have walked you know," she said lightheartedly. 

"I'd rather be safe than sorry.  Maybe I'll let ya later," he said, 
trying to be humorous; anything to get the lump to recede in his 
constricted throat.  

He carried her into her living room and set her carefully onto the sofa.  
He found some throw pillows and used those to prop up her broken leg.  
Sam sighed in relief as the pressure was taken off her leg.  Jack had 
been squatting by the coffee table adjusting the pillows when he looked 
up at her face and caught her look of utter contentment.  He'd thought 
he'd never see that look on her face again, and it pleased him.  

Jack stood up, his knees popping causing him to wince.  //What I need is 
a nice hot shower...or maybe a cold one after the way last night and this 
morning has gone,// he thought wryly.  

Sam was leaning her head back on the sofa, her eyes closed.  

"Sam?  Do you think you will be okay while I grab a shower?"  

"Sure," she said, her eyes remaining shut.

Jack headed towards the bathroom but faltered at the edge of the hallway.  
"I won't be long." 

"Take your time, I'll be fine," she assured him.

Seeing she was obviously lost in another world, Jack continued down the 
hallway.  When he stepped into the bathroom he rummaged through the linen 
closet to find a towel.  As he waited for the water to warm up he brushed 
his teeth.  He saw his reflection in the mirror and shaving crossed his 
mind, since he was displaying a bit of five o'clock shadow.  Scratching 
the idea, he figured it didn't matter one way or the other, since Sam was 
the only person present, and couldn't see it.  He winced at that last 
thought.  

The steam floated out of the shower, and the mirror started to fog up.  
Jack pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor.  He'd 
thrown it on to make breakfast. He didn't want grease to splatter on him; 
that could be painful.  He stuck his hand under the spray from the 
showerhead to gauge the temperature.  Almost there.  He undid the tie on 
the track pants and kicked them off as they reached his ankles.  

Jack looked at his reflection in the mirror.  //Oh for cryin' out 
loud!!//  He'd forgot he'd been wearing those boxers.  The black ones 
with little red hearts.  They were a Christmas gift from Teal'c of all 
people!  Daniel and Sam had taken him to the mall to shop.  They however 
forgot to go over the proper gift-buying etiquette with him.  That, or 
else he had one heck of a sense of humor.  The big guy never cracked a 
smile when Jack had opened the gift, although Daniel and Sam had been 
nearly rolling on the floor with laughter.   Yep...he almost returned 
them.  But he didn't want to hurt Teal'c's feelings if he ever found out.  
So he'd hung onto them; one could never have enough undergarments.
  
Shucking them he stepped into the warm spray shooting down on him.  The 
heat of the water seeped into his sore muscles.  Rivulets cascaded down 
his back and pooled at his feet to join the small stream slipping down 
the drain.  Jack's eyes drifted closed and he leaned his forehead against 
the wall of the shower, allowing the water to pellet his skin.  He hadn't 
enjoyed taking a shower this much since...well...never that he could 
remember.  His muscles ached; his knees were protesting that he was even 
standing.  

Feeling guilty that he was enjoying even this small pleasure while Sam 
was out there alone, got him into gear.  Jack grabbed a bottle of some 
kind of herbal shampoo.  He hoped it wasn't too flowery; wouldn't do for 
a Colonel in the United States Air Force to smell like roses.  He popped 
the cap and took a whiff.  Not bad; sorta like... sunflowers?  Not that 
he knew what sunflowers smelled like.  But that was what the bottle said, 
so he would take its word for it.  

He squeezed a gob into his hand and put the bottle back.  He rubbed his 
palms together to get the shampoo to lather and then ran his hands 
through his hair.  He worked his fingers through his hair and then 
stepped under the water again.  Suds ran down his face, down his body.  
Once his skin was squeaky clean he turned the knobs, shutting off the 
water.  

He stepped out onto the bathmat and grabbed the towel he had set out.  He 
rubbed it over his hair, briskly drying it.  He then wrapped the towel 
around his waist to search for his clothes.  

//Well crap!//  He'd forgotten to bring clean clothes in with him.  He 
eyed the track pants he'd just taken off.  //Oh, that isn't going to 
happen.  Not easy to get into right after a shower.//  He could sneak out 
and grab some clothes before Sam found out.  This was one time he was 
glad she couldn't see.  That would've been quite an uncomfortable 
situation.  

He left his discarded clothes on the floor; he'd pick them up later.  He 
laughed at himself.  He never thought he would've been tracking through 
Carter's house in nothing but a towel.  

As he walked into the living room, he casted his eyes toward the sofa.  
And froze.  Sam was gone.  Panic rose in him.  Then he heard glass 
shatter in the vicinity of the kitchen.  It felt like he'd been sucker 
punched.  He moved as fast as he could in a towel, unsure of what he was 
going to find.  Terrified of what he was going to find.  

                         *******************

Sam sat quietly on her sofa as Jack's footfalls disappeared down the 
hallway.  She was alone.  The word had a different meaning to her now.  
Even knowing that Jack was still in the house, even being able to hear 
him pottering about faintly somewhere else, the darkness was so complete 
that she could not help feeling completely alone and isolated.

Having to rely on her other senses was difficult, having to hone them to 
a higher degree than she had ever had to before.  Even after such a short 
time she could tell the acuity of her senses were changing, becoming more 
attuned to everything around her.

Trying not to dwell on her loneliness, she tried instead to concentrate 
on each sense.  How else was she supposed to relearn her surroundings but 
by touch, sound and smell?

Taking a deep breath she could smell the bacon and eggs from breakfast, 
the strong odor of coffee brewing on the percolator, the woody, musky 
tone of Jack's aftershave.  Underneath it all she could smell something 
soft and flowery, with a trace of lavender.  Potpourri.  She always kept 
some in a small bowl on the table.

She had never realized how loud background sounds could actually be.  
She'd never really paid much attention to them before.  The sound of the 
shower running, the clicks of the coffee percolator heating the pot, the 
clock on her mantel ticking softly.  Outside sounds were louder too; cars 
traveling down the road, a lawn mower running down the street, the 
grasshoppers chirping.

The tone of the water changed, telling her that Jack must have hopped 
into the shower.  She had a feeling that the bathroom door was still 
open, knowing Jack would be listening out in case she called him.

Thinking about water, Sam realized she was thirsty.  That coffee smelled 
too good, and she knew Jack made the best coffee in Colorado.  Gathering 
her resolve she stood up, drawing on her memories to visualize the room.  
//I can do this, I *will* do this!//  She needed to prove that she could 
do this, to herself, and to Jack.

Bending down she groped around, feeling for the coffee table.  Gripping 
the edge she took two steps to the right, her hands sliding off the end 
of the table.  Conjuring up her memories, she was certain that she now 
had a straight line from the living room to the kitchen.

She took a tentative step forward, sliding her foot in case there were 
any obstructions before her.  Swinging her arms in a semi-circle in front 
of her, she made sure her path was clear before sliding her foot forward 
again.

Another step, she pushed forward, her confidence growing.  Another step, 
then another.  She had a feeling a wall was close.  Putting her hand out 
she brushed it with her knuckle.  The doorway.  She took another step 
knowing that she was now in the kitchen.

Sam kept on moving forward until she bumped into a stool.  The breakfast 
bar.  She couldn't help the smile pulling at her lips.  //I made it!//  A 
couple more steps and she would be at the counter.  Using the bar to 
guide her she moved on, her other hand in mid-air ahead of her until it 
bumped the counter.  

"Yes," she congratulated herself.

She began side-stepping across the counter, her hand out, looking for the 
percolator.  She could hear its clicking; the strong smell of the coffee 
was next to her.  Her fingers brushed the warm handle of the coffeepot.  
She knew she kept her coffee mugs next to the percolator.  Stretching her 
hand out she felt the cool ceramic mug and pulled it over to her.

She gripped the handle of the pot in her hand tightly, pulling it off the 
hotplate.  Her hand began to shake at the unexpected weight.  Resting it 
on the counter for a moment, she gripped the bottom of the mug and tried 
lifting the pot again.  

She had the pot tilted ready to pour when her hand began shaking again.  
She couldn't stop it this time, the handle slipped from her grip.  It 
happened so fast.  The pot hit the counter, spraying hot coffee 
everywhere, before it bounced onto the floor and shattered.  She let out 
a little shout as the hot liquid burnt her hand.

Instinctively, she squatted down to pick up the shattered remains of the 
coffee pot, desperate to clean up the mess she had made.  She began 
feeling round on the floor, searching for the shards.  She felt a sharp 
prick in her palm and realized one had found her.  

Furious at herself for doing something so foolish, she stood up, feeling 
tears pricking her eyes.  Behind her she could hear footsteps racing down 
the hallway.  //How did I manage to screw up something as simple as 
pouring a cup of coffee?//

"Sam?"  Jack sounded almost frantic.  "Sam, are you okay?"

She tried to fight back the sob rising in her throat but she couldn't.  
Her hand stung, and the taste of failure was rich on her tongue.  She 
could hear Jack padding carefully towards her, felt his strong arms 
wrapping around her, lifting her up.  She cupped her hand tightly in the 
other, holding it against her stomach.  

His bare chest felt damp against her cheek, as he carried her back into 
the lounge and settled her on the sofa again.  She could feel him sit on 
the couch next to her, pulling her hand towards him.  She couldn't help 
but relax a bit as she felt him gently open her fingers to look at the 
wound.  It did feel nice to have someone to care for her.  It felt nice 
for that someone to be Jack.

"This isn't too bad, Sam," he said softly, placing her hand on his leg.  
She could feel his hand against her cheek, wiping her tears away.  "Talk 
to me Sam.  What's wrong?"

She couldn't concentrate.  She could feel the soft terry toweling under 
her hand and realized that Jack had just gotten out of the shower.  She 
felt a flush warming her cheeks.  He was sitting here semi-naked trying 
to console her.

She swallowed, trying to compose herself.  "I just gave myself a fright."

"Why didn't you wait for me?"  

His tone was mildly placating, but it was so full of concern that she 
couldn't get angry at him.  "I wanted to see if I could do it for myself.  
I wanted to prove to you that I could do it."

"Sam, you don't need to prove anything to me," he whispered, taking her 
hand gently in his.  His voice had changed subtly, the concern 
metamorphosing to something else, something deeper.  She gave a start 
when she realized what it was.  //Could it be love?//  It was certainly 
more than affection.

"Don't I?" she asked, so softly that she wondered if he heard her.

He let go of her hand, cupping her face gently instead.  "No, you don't.  
You never had to prove anything."  His voice had grown husky.

Sam closed her eyes.  "If I don't do things on my own how am I going to 
manage my life?" she whispered. "You can't be here forever."

"Why not?"  Jack's voice went even softer.

"Because you have your own life to lead. I can't bother you with mine,” 
Sam said, nearly choking on a rising sob.

"What if I want to be bothered with yours?"  Jack's soft breath brushed 
across her face.

Tears slipped unbidden down Sam's face as her heart began to pound 
harder.  She had dreamt of this moment for so long, now that it was here 
she could hardly believe it.  It wasn't exactly how she pictured his 
feelings to be expressed, but she had never known what she should expect. 
//He still wants to be with me?//

"Do you?" she choked out.  She found it hard to believe that despite 
everything that had happened in the last week, he would still want to be 
with her.

"More than I ever thought possible."  He was so close; she could feel his 
face hovering near hers.  She could hear the love in his voice, so pure, 
so unadulterated.  "I love you, Sam."

Sam could feel her heart fluttering as he said the words that she had 
wanted to hear for so long.  Her breath caught in her throat.  "I love 
you too, Jack," she whispered, barely able to get the words out.

Her body erupted in fire as his lips joined with hers.  She may be blind, 
but she had fireworks exploding behind her eyes.  The kiss began gently, 
but as she deepened the kiss, it became demanding. It was as if she had 
to do this, had to have these feelings to know that it was really 
happening ... to know that she was alive.

As her hands snaked themselves around Jack's neck, he leaned closer to 
her. She could feel the heat from his shower emanating from his body, 
through her blouse. His hands were splayed on her back, holding her 
closer to him. Good thing she was sitting, because her legs had turned to 
jelly.  She heard a groan from low in his throat. This time it wasn't one 
of disgust; it was more carnal ... more urgent.  

She felt lightheaded as his lips moved from hers and down her neck. She 
tilted her head back involuntarily, so his searing lips could have better 
access. Her fingers inched their way from his neck to his head; her 
fingers clutching for dear life in his damp hair. A whimper escaped her 
lips as the stubble from his cheek rubbed across the sensitive skin in 
the crook of her neck. She urged his head up, needing to feel his lips on 
hers again. He pulled away from her reluctantly, and settled his mouth on 
hers once more.

Sam hoped fervently that he wouldn't stop this time, because she didn't 
think she would survive it if he did. They had already fallen too far 
now, to climb back to the top. She leaned back on the sofa, Jack 
following her, pressing his body against her. It was like years of 
looking at each other from a distance, being with each other daily and 
not being able to do anything about it was catching up with them.  It was 
like coming home. 

Jack's lips were working magic on hers. She had never been affected this 
massively before by a kiss. The one other time she had shared a kiss with 
Jack didn't even compare to this. Of course, at the time she had been 
infected with an alien virus, so she couldn't really remember all that 
much. On the other hand who knows if they'd kissed at all after that ... 
what with all the strange mind control devices and foreign moon shine 
that they had encountered, they may have engaged in more unconscious 
kisses than she was aware of. However, nothing on this earth ... in this 
universe could match what she was feeling at that moment.

                         *******************

Jack was in Heaven.  

He had decided that he must have died and gone to Heaven, because he had 
never experienced anything like this on Earth. Never before had he 
experienced this much passion from one woman. The woman he loved. The 
woman he had loved and hadn't been able to have for so long.

Now he had her, he wanted to show her exactly how deeply she had affected 
him in the years he had known her. How deep his feelings went for her. He 
wanted her to know that he would be there for her no matter what. He was 
never going to let her go.

His body was on fire.  Flames shot over his skin where Sam's hands 
roamed.  The sensations intensified by the skin to skin contact. He 
hadn't felt this way for a long time. He hadn't felt so ... alive.  All 
because of this woman in his arms.  This beautiful, vibrant and 
passionate woman.

He felt complete.

Careful not to hurt her injured leg, he settled his weight on her, 
needing to get ever closer to her. Clothes were becoming a hindrance. He 
needed to feel her, all of her. He moved his hand upward to her blouse, 
running his hand up underneath it. 

He wanted to take this slowly, they had the whole day ahead of them, why 
rush things? Sitting up, he disentangled himself from her embrace. That 
being said, he wanted to be somewhere a bit more comfortable than her 
couch.

He stooped and picked her up, nearly losing the towel in the process. He 
was going to be losing it soon anyway, so he wasn't too bothered. 
Straightening, he felt Sam's arms slide around his neck and she pressed a 
chaste kiss to his chin.

He barely managed to bite back a feral groan as her lips traveled slowly 
down his throat. She nipped lightly at the sensitive flesh of his neck, 
igniting more pleasures he had long forgotten. "If you keep that up we're 
not going to make it to the bedroom," he grated breathlessly.

Jack could feel her laugh softly against his neck, her body vibrating 
gently against his, the sensation sending him closer to the brink of 
losing himself completely.  He couldn't believe how happy it made him 
feel.  He held her to him as tightly as he could; he never wanted to let 
her go.

Making it to Sam's bedroom, barely, Jack laid her gently on the surface 
of the bed. Her arms were still firmly wrapped around his neck.  Craning 
her neck up and applying a little pressure to his neck, she drew his head 
down for another kiss.  He pulled away from her breathlessly, wanting to 
look at her again.

Whether she was wearing BDUs or a dress, she was the most beautiful woman 
he'd ever encountered.  And the cast didn't even take away from her 
attractiveness. Just the few seconds he was separated from her was too 
long. He had to touch her, had to feel her skin against his, had to love 
her.

He edged his body up against hers, the friction causing lightning to 
shoot through their bodies.  Her unseeing eyes were glazed over.  A flush 
had spread across her face.  Not one of embarrassment, but one of 
passion.  Jack was struck with amazement. He was doing this to her.  He 
was putting that glow on her face.  His loving her was causing that.  The 
revelation blew his mind away.  

Not able to restrain himself any more, his lips found hers again.  Their 
legs tangled in the others.  Jack's fingers twined with Sam's as he drew 
them above her head.  A rushing ringing sound roared in his ears. Is this 
what happened when one loved someone so fully and completely.  

Sam's teeth grazed his bottom lip, making him to groan loudly.  He heard 
her mumble something, but he couldn't make it out.  He disregarded it, 
for nothing could be as necessary as what he had to do right then. Her 
mumble grew more insistent, as did the blaring ring in his ears.  

"Jack," she said breathlessly against his mouth.  His lips covered hers 
once more, silencing her pleas.

"Mmm, Jack, the..." She wasn't upset, he could tell that much by her 
tone. He could also tell she didn't want to stop, so why was she trying 
to get his attention?

Once more she called his name, which eventually brought him out of the 
haze he had been floating in.  He pulled away, yet not that far; just 
enough to look at her face and gauge what the problem was.  

"Jack... the phone!"

"Huh?" Her reply didn't register in his love-fuddled mind.

"The phone ... it's ringing ... you ... better answer it," she said, 
catching her breath.

Jack blinked his eyes several times before he realized what she was 
saying.  He lifted up and the roaring in his ears transformed to the 
ringing tone of the phone.  He moved to the edge of the bed, trying to 
compose his thoughts before picking up the receiver.  He reached out and 
plucked the evil interruption from its cradle.

"Hello?" He croaked out.

"Jack?" Daniel's voice asked from the other end.  "Is everything all 
right there? I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" Daniel rushed forward.

"Uh ... no. Just got out of the shower." Jack said his eyes drifting to 
Sam on the bed behind him.  She looked better than he felt.  He felt like 
he'd been put into a flight simulation at 100 Gs, and ripped out of it 
backwards.

There was a look of contentment on her face, and exasperation at the 
interruption.  If she were a cat she would have been purring.  Reaching 
out a hand, she felt along the bedspread until her fingers brushed his 
back.  He shuddered at the simple touch.

He rubbed his hand across his face, trying to concentrate on what Daniel 
was saying, but wanting nothing more than to hang the phone up.

"... wondering if she was up to some visitors. Cassie has been driving 
Janet crazy since she found out. So what do you think?"

Jack's eyes slid back to Sam.  She was looking as impatient as he felt.  
"It might not be such a good idea today, Daniel.  Sam's taking a nap at 
the moment.  She's exhausted.  What about tomorrow?"

"Oh ... ok," Daniel sounded a little surprised.  "That shouldn't be a 
problem.  I'm sure Cassie will understand."

"Of course she will," Jack replied, a little too impatiently.  He wanted 
desperately to get back to the woman lying next to him.

"Is everything okay, Jack?"

"Yeah everything's fine ... why?" Jack insisted, kicking himself mentally 
for adding that last question. That just gave Daniel an opening to go on 
with his drabble.

"I don't know ... you just sound ... odd!"  Daniel responded, his voice 
generating curiousness.

Okay, Jack thought, it was time to end this. "I'm fine, Daniel. Sam's 
fine. Sam's sleeping. We're all fine. Everything's peachy."

Jack really didn't care if he was short with Daniel at the moment; he was 
too concerned about the fingers that were inching their way up his back.  
His mind was fogging over again. He was finding it hard to focus on the 
conversation at hand.

"Oh ... okay then," Daniel replied, his voice skeptical.  "Well, as long 
as you're both okay I guess I'll go then..."

Her nails brushed the sensitive and ticklish skin on his side.  A tiny 
groan forced it's way through his clenched teeth before he clamped it 
back.  //Crap, I hope Daniel didn't hear that!//  "Umm ... yeah," he 
managed to choke out.  "Call tomorrow and we'll organize a time for you 
all to come around."

He flashed a glance at Sam.  Her eyes were closed, a smile on her lips.  
Oh God ... he wanted her so badly, he wanted to show her that Jack 
O'Neill was no slouch when it came to satisfying a woman, to satisfying 
Sam Carter.  He could hear Daniel saying something, but he'd tuned it 
out, his attention fixated on the woman next to him.

"Umm ... sure.  See you tomorrow, Danny," he murmured dismissively, 
absently putting the phone back down on the receiver.

He turned his full attention back to Sam and saw a delighted smile on her 
face.  "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"  He could barely hold back 
the laugh that was crawling up his throat.

"And what if I did?'  She purred flirtatiously.  Rolling over onto her 
side, her hand drifted across his side to rest on his stomach, tickling 
the skin gently.

He groaned and leaned over her, capturing her lips in another mind-
numbing kiss.  He could feel her relax completely, her hand slacken on 
his stomach.  Reluctantly he pulled his lips away from hers.  Leaning 
back he tangled a hand in her hair and drank in her appearance.  Was it 
possible to love her more and more with each passing moment?

"So..." he slurred, unable to hold himself back any longer.  "Where were 
we?"

                         *******************

Daniel was about to hang up the phone, feeling confused and more than a 
little annoyed at the reception he had just received from Jack.  //What 
was his problem?  It was almost like I interrupted something important.//

He was at the point of pulling the phone away from his ear in disgust 
when he stopped.  There was no tone telling him that the phone had been 
hung up at the other end.  There was no tone at all.

"Hello ... Jack?"

There was no response.  //What the hell is going on?  Is Jack messing 
with me again?//  But he could hear something, muffled in the background 
that kept him glued to the phone.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

It was Jack's voice, muffled, Daniel had to strain to hear it clearly, 
but he could hear the amusement in the other mans voice.  //What the hell 
is going on?//

He knew he should hang up the phone, but he couldn't.  His curiosity had 
the better of him, which was generally a bad thing.  He wanted to know 
what was happening. //Why had Jack sounded so breathless and vacant when 
he had answered the phone?  Why had he been so quick to tell him that Sam 
was asleep? Why had he been in such a rush to get off the phone?//

Then there was a groan.  Daniel wasn't sure if he had heard what he had 
for certain; it was cut off so quickly.  But he was almost certain that 
it was a groan.  He had a suspicion though, and that was enough for him.

"And what if I did?"

The voice was unmistakable, but he had never heard it like that before.  
He almost dropped the phone in surprise.  Now he was truly dumbfounded.  
//Why had Jack lied to him about Sam having a nap? Sam and Jack 
flirting?//  Ok, that in itself wasn't unfamiliar, but he could hear 
something else in their voices, something that wasn't normally there when 
they spoke to each other.

There was no inhibition in their voices.  It was almost like the barriers 
that they had put up between them were no longer there.  Daniel couldn't 
explain it; he didn't understand it.

He heard Jack groan, and it certainly wasn't a groan of displeasure.  The 
opposite in fact.  Were they doing what he thought they were doing?

"So..." He could hear Jack slurring.  "Where were we?"

A delighted squeal came over the phone line.  There was no doubting that 
it was Sam, and it quickly became apparent to Daniel what they were 
doing.  Blushing furiously he quickly hung up the phone, a grin tugging 
at his lips.  //I knew it!//

He turned around to meet Cassie and Janet's expectant faces.  "Well?" 
Cassie asked impatiently.

Daniel cleared his throat, tried to wipe the smile from his face, but it 
was impossible.  He was happy for his friends.  Happy that they had 
finally found each other and amazed that it had taken them such a short 
time to do it.

"Daniel?" Janet pressed.

She was watching him with a bemused expression on her face. He could tell 
by the look on her face that she knew he had heard something.

"Oh ... Sam's having a nap at the moment. Jack said she's exhausted. He 
suggested that maybe we all go around tomorrow."

Cassie's face fell, exactly as Daniel had expected it to. Thankfully, 
Janet stepped in. "She's having a difficult time at the moment, Cassie. 
We have to wait until she's ready to have visitors; we can't force her 
into anything she doesn't want."

"I know," the girl replied in a small voice. "I just wanna see that she's 
okay."

Janet wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulders, but she was 
watching Daniel intensely. "Oh, I know that, Cassie. Why don't you go and 
start on your homework?"

Cassie groaned, but pulled out of the embrace, nodding. "Yeah, I know, 
Mom."

As Cassie's back disappeared up the stairs, Janet rounded on Daniel, her 
arms across her chest. "What's going on Daniel? What did you hear?"

He could feel a flush rising on his face again as he stepped up to her 
and wrapped his arms around her waist. He shouldn't have continued 
listening. If they weren't willing to tell anyone what was going on yet, 
he didn't really have the right to either. //Heck, Janet and I haven't 
told anyone that we are involved yet either!// Leaning forward he pressed 
his lips to hers in a pathetic attempt to distract her.

She pushed against his chest and pulled out of his arms. Taking a step 
back from him, she fixed him with a glare. "Daniel?"
He sighed. He should have known better than to try and distract Janet 
when she was curious about something. "I ... umm. They ..." he cleared 
his throat. "Well, Sam wasn't asleep."

Janet's mouth opened in surprise. "Why did Jack lie to you?"

Daniel was about to reply with a sarcastic comment when he noticed her 
expression changing. "They aren't... Are they?" she squeaked.

He couldn't help but smile. Man, he was happy for them. "Yeah, they are."

A grin filled her face and she practically leaped into his arms. "Oh, 
that is great, Daniel! Do you think maybe we can tell them about us now?"

He wrapped his arms around her. He could never get tired of holding her 
in his arms. "We should have told them when we got together," he pointed 
out. "But yeah, we should tell them... tomorrow."

Janet stood on tiptoe to reach him as her lips met his in a quick kiss.  
"Good.  Because I don't like keeping secrets from our friends.  It's been 
hard enough just keeping Cassie quiet about it.  She's been chomping at 
the bit to tell Sam."  Janet smiled.

Daniel laughed.  "Yeah, I can imagine.  I don't like hiding this either."  
Daniel leaned down again and greeted her lips with his own.  This was 
getting a bit too serious for the living room, and with a teenager in the 
house no less.  He was sort of glad that Janet's bedroom was at the 
opposite end of the house from Cassie's.  Because at the rate that he and 
Janet were going, that's where they were going to end up.  

                         *******************

Sam was subconsciously aware that she was in the state between asleep and 
wakefulness.  She could "see" Jack in her mind, causing her to smile.  In 
her dream sated state she drew on every image she had ever stored in her 
memory of Jack.   He was smiling that smile that he only reserved for 
her.  The smile that told her without saying a word what he felt for her.  
She may not have the sense of sight anymore, but she would always have 
these images...these memories.  

A new dream formed and she could feel butterflies drifting over her face.  
She scrunched her face, causing the butterflies to flit away into the 
sunlit sky.  She settled back into the warm comfort of her dream once 
again.   

Then the most pleasant sensation materialized on her lips.  That 
touch...she knew that touch.  The touch that made her lose all concept of 
thought.  That was Jack's touch.  She sighed without resignation.  The 
touch was drawing her closer to its source.  As her body connected fully 
with his she couldn't remain unaffected any longer.  
She stretched her body up against his, knowing full well how he reacted.  
Knowing he was watching her.  That was another thing she could 
distinguish without sight.  She knew exactly when Jack was watching her.  
She could feel his eyes on her, feel his love radiating through the room.  

Sam opened her eyes and saw something, but it was gone as quick as it 
came.  She just chalked it up to exhaustion and the amazing love-making 
that had taken place earlier.  Before she knew it, Jack had rolled her 
onto her back and his lips were on hers cascading across the surface ever 
slowly.  Her hands traveled over his body.  She weaved her fingers in his 
hair, loving the texture of it.  Her other hand, though, as if with a 
will of it's own, moved down his back and rested on his behind.  She gave 
it a small squeeze, knowing how he would respond. Not much later, he 
moaned and pulled away from her grudgingly.

"If you're wanting to get up anytime today you're going the wrong way 
about it." She heard the grin in his voice.  

She smiled and blinked and saw something again.  A foggy white light off 
in the corner of her eyes. //What was that?//  She couldn't see any 
images, just light.  Again, like the first time, it was gone as quick as 
it had appeared.  She smiled again, pushing her uneasiness off to the far 
reaches of her mind.  

"We wouldn't want that now would we?" she joked back.  

Jack's chest rumbled with laughter, as his stomach did with hunger.  
"Normally, I wouldn't say no ... but I'm starved. I don't know how we 
survived last night with no lunch or dinner!"

"I guess we just had better things on our minds,” Sam giggled, thinking 
about the previous day... or night.

"On our minds... on our bodies... on our..." She brought her hand up to 
the sensitive flesh below his ribcage and nipped it with her fingers, 
smiling guiltlessly as she did.  

She felt Jack flinch and he pressed his body closer to her again.  
"Inflicting pain will get you no where, Carter."  

"Oh I think it will...you didn't seem to mind too much when I..." Her 
explanation was shortened as Jack captured her lips in another of his 
wonderfully mind-numbing kisses.  
 
He did finally pull away slowly, though still continued to snatch quick 
pecks from her contented mouth.  "You wait here.  I'm gonna get us some 
munchies.  Hold that thought," she heard him say through her haze, as his 
weight was first removed from her and then the bed.

Sam settled back into her pillows as she listened to Jack's footfalls 
disappear down the hall, feeling contented.  A lot more contented than 
she had ever thought possible after her accident.  So this is what it 
felt like to be truly, completely in love with another person.  It didn't 
even compare to Jonas, or Martouf, or anyone she had ever thought she was 
in love with in the past.

Rolling back onto her side her thoughts drifted back to the wonderful 
night that she had spent with Jack.  Part of her wished that they had 
never waited so long before admitting how they felt about each other.  
She wished that they had decided to toss the regulations aside after the 
Za'tarc testing, consummated their burgeoning relationship earlier.

She could feel the warmth from the sunlight flowing in from the open 
curtains, and a slight breeze rolling over her naked body.  She smiled, 
turning her face in the direction of the windows.  She opened her eyes 
slowly.  

She could see light.

She had thought what had happened before had been a freak thing, 
something her imagination had conjured up.  Now she was beginning to 
think she was wrong.  She could tell the difference between light and 
dark, whereas before all she could see was darkness.

//What is happening?  Did this mean what I think it does?  Am I getting 
my eyesight back?//

Sam felt a little knot of fear form in her belly.  She didn't want this 
to happen, not if it meant that she would lose everything that they had 
managed to build last night.  She didn't want to lose Jack, and that was 
going to happen if her eyesight came back.  She never thought she would 
entertain that thought.

She closed her eyes, immersing herself in darkness again.  //Why did this 
have to happen?//  A day ago she would have welcomed it, been thankful 
that it hadn't been permanent.  But then a day ago everything changed, 
her priorities changed.  The idea of going back to the job she loved 
paled when she thought that it would mean losing the man she loved.  She 
couldn't lose him.

Maybe it was just a freak thing, something that would pass.  Opening her 
eyes with a small glimmer of hope, she sank back into her pillow.  It was 
still there.  What was she going to do now?

Tears began tickling her eyelids as she hugged her arms around herself.  
She had to tell Janet ... and Jack.  She couldn't ... not yet.  She had 
to be certain.  She had to hold on to the illusion for a little longer 
before she shattered it.  She fought the tears back, desperate to hide 
them.

Clinking in the hall drew her attention back to the present.  Jack had 
the breakfast prepared.  She forced her thoughts to the back of her mind, 
and put a smile on her face, as he entered the room.  The aroma of coffee 
and pancakes wafted over to her making her stomach growl in anticipation.

His happiness washed over her in waves.  She could feel it from across 
the room.  It was contagious.  "Oh, that smells wonderful, Jack!"

The bed shifted as he settled his weight on it.  He moved to the head of 
the bed and scooted beside her so they could share the tray. The 
wonderful fragrances wafted to Sam's nose, invoking hunger pains to make 
themselves known.

Jack laughed. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's starving."

Sam joined him in his laughter and briefly laid her head on his bare 
shoulder. Jack placed something on her lips. From the scent of it, it had 
to be a strawberry. She opened her mouth and bit off the tip of the fresh 
fruit.  The juices escaped the side of her mouth, but before she could 
reach up to wipe it away, Jack's lips were on hers, his tongue slowly 
removing the juices.

Sam's mouth turned up at his actions, and he drew away slightly. "I 
thought you were hungry."

"I am," Jack's voice grew husky.

"Jack!"

"Okay, fine." Jack said as he settled back against the bed, draping an 
arm around Sam's shoulders.

Sam giggled, but soon ceased as his fingers were doing anything but 
behaving.  His other hand brought something once more to her mouth.  More 
strawberries. This time covered with whipped cream. She took a bite and 
the sweetness filled her mouth.

She tried to concentrate on eating the thoughtful meal Jack had prepared, 
but his hand...his fingers were running up and down her arm.  A simple, 
yet not so innocent touch. Warm chills raced through her body, firming 
her resolve that she couldn't end this yet.

The weight of the tray was swiftly removed from her lap, and was replaced 
by the well-toned figure of Jack.  //Well, it looks like we aren't going 
to get any eating done.//  That was fine by Sam.  Her hunger was replaced 
by other more important feelings at the moment.  

Jack moved his body against hers, carefully maneuvering around her broken 
leg, making her giggle.  Not that it was funny or anything.  It just 
amused her how caring he could be at a time like this.  Her bout of 
giggles stopped when his lips found their way to the flatness of her 
stomach.   //Oh...this is.... pure bliss.//

Though it had to be hours, their love making ended in what seemed like an 
instant.  Jack still held her in his arms, lightly caressing the soft 
skin on her shoulders.  Sam rested her hand on his chest, running her 
fingers through the soft, curly hair.  They just lay there, enjoying the 
feel of each other, and the comforting silence.  

Jack sighed heavily making her smile.  "Well, it seems our first plan was 
foiled.  Wanna try again?"  

"Can I think about that and get back to you," Sam responded with a grin.  

"Umm, I'm thinking...no!" Jack's chest rumbled under her cheek.  

"Well, if you insist," Sam mock grumbled.  She sat up in bed so Jack 
could get up.  As he rolled over to the side of the bed she heard him 
moan.

"Oh, crap!"

Sam felt him fall back onto the bed, concerned at the tone in his voice.  
"What is it, Jack?"

She reached her hand out to grasp his arm.  He had her worried now, what 
could possibly be wrong after the wonderful night they had just spent 
together?

His shoulders began shaking.  He was laughing.  "You remember Daniel 
calling yesterday?"

Sam had no idea where this was going.  "Yeah."

"I ... um," His laughter was still there, but dampened down as a somber 
tone filled his voice.  "Well, in the heat of the moment I ... uh ... 
didn't completely hang up the phone."

"You what?"  Her voice was filled with disbelief as she struggled to come 
to terms with what he was saying.

"The phone was off the hook all night."

Sam couldn't help herself, couldn't prevent the laugh that rose from her 
chest.  //He didn't hang up the phone?  Had Daniel heard anything?  Does 
it even matter?//

Sam's stomach ached by the time they had both managed to control their 
laughter, but it was worth it.  //Of all the stupid and crazy things to 
do, to not hang up the phone!//  They didn't know if Daniel had stayed on 
the line anyway so it wasn't worth worry about.  They were going to find 
out sooner or later anyway.

"How about you put the phone back on the hook and we'll make a start on 
this day?  For starters, I think we're well past due for some brunch," 
Sam suggested around the giggles that kept creeping up on her.

"Sure thing," Jack replied, smacking a quick kiss on her lips.  "Need 
some help getting dressed?"

                         *******************

Jack pulled the back door shut behind him and examined the kitchen 
quickly.  All clean and tidy again.  He let out a deep breath; it had 
been a busy morning.

After he and Sam had finally dragged themselves out of bed, which was the 
most difficult thing he'd had to do in a long time, he had settled Sam on 
the sofa and set about cleaning the house.  The mess from the coffeepot 
was still in the kitchen; left untouched the day before.  He also changed 
the sheets on the bed and caught up with Sam's washing.

He was ready to settle down on the sofa and snuggle for a while with the 
woman he loved.  He could hear the stereo playing quietly in the living 
room.  He couldn't remember putting it on, though he realized now that he 
probably should have.  The words flowed over him.  Oh how appropriate 
they were.

How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos' I'd already know

He felt himself drawn by the music, a soft love song by the sounds of it.  
Slowly, he followed the sound crossing the kitchen to stop in the doorway 
to the living room.  He was captivated by the sight before him, his heart 
swelling with love for her.

Sam stood in the middle of the living room, her back to him, swaying in 
time to the music.  She seemed oblivious to his presence, which in itself 
was unusual as she seemed to have developed a sixth sense whenever he 
entered the same room, like she knew he was there.

Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show

She was beautiful; he could never grow tired of looking at her.  What had 
he ever done to deserve her love?  He watched her move, the slow sway of 
her hips, and couldn't help the familiar stirring he felt watching her.  
He took a few steps, closing the gap between them.

He felt her stiffen as he wrapped her arms around her waist and matched 
his sway to her own.  Her back was still to him, pressed firmly against 
his body.  He leaned his head down, pressing her lips gently to the crook 
of her neck.  He inhaled deeply.  "You smell so good."

The song ended, replaced by another soft romantic song.  As he listened 
to the lyrics he wondered if it was a fluke that these songs came on.  
There was no way Sam would have known what CD was playing.  It was like 
it was written for them.

Look at the sky
Tell me what do you see
Just close your eyes and describe it to me
The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight
That's what I see through your eyes

Her shoulders shook gently under his lips.  He smiled, overwhelmed by his 
feelings for her.  He never believed that he would fall in love with 
another woman after Sara, never believed that those feelings would ever 
be reciprocated.

Jack had lost count of the number of times he had pinched himself, trying 
to work out if he was dreaming or not.  He most definitely was not.  He 
smiled, his lips still pressed against the soft skin of her neck.

Here in the night, I see the sun
Here in the dark our two hearts are one
It's out of our hands we can't stop what we have begun 
And love just took me by surprise
Looking through your eyes

He sucked gently at her skin, spurred on by her short moan of pleasure.  
He felt exactly like he did in high school.  Like it was the first flush 
of love, only it wasn't, this was his second chance, and he wasn't going 
to blow it.  He was over the moon; he was beyond that; he felt like he 
could walk on water because of the depth of his feelings for her.

His head down, his eyes still closed, he turned her around in his arms 
and continued their gentle swaying to the music.  He pulled her close, 
reveling in the feel of her body pressed to his, as she tucked her head 
under his chin.  It felt so right, their bodies molded against each other 
perfectly, like they were destined to be together, if he believed such a 
thing ever existed.

I look at myself and instead I see us
Whoever I am now it feels like enough
And I see a girl who is learning to trust
That's who I see through your eyes

He didn't, but he felt complete, holding this woman in his arms.  He 
pulled his lips from her neck, planting a kiss on her forehead as he lost 
himself in the moment.  He had never imagined that everything would have 
turned out this way when he asked for the leave of absence from General 
Hammond.  He wondered if he was glowing.

An unusual sensation caught his attention, drawing him from his musings.  
Moisture.  Surprised, he pulled away from her slightly, enough to look 
down at her, to see her face.  She was crying.

He stopped moving, she stopped with him.  He cupped her face gently in 
his hands, pulling her face up to look at him.  "Sam ... honey ... what's 
wrong?"

She twisted her face out of his grip, looked away from him.  "I can't 
tell you."  Her voice sounded so sad, and there was something else ... 
guilt?

He held her tighter, wanting to help her, wanted to make her feel better.  
Her grief made him feel almost sick to his stomach.  He had to know what 
was wrong.  How after such a wonderful day and night that anything could 
possibly move her to tears.

"Of course you can tell me.  Have I done something to hurt you?'

"No, of course not," she replied irritably.  Her voice was so full of 
pain; the tears continued to flow down her cheeks.  "You would never hurt 
me Jack, I know that."
"Then what is it?"

Her face turned up to him, twisted with misery.  "I can see something."

It took a while for her words to register.  //She could see something?//  
Then it sank in and confusion took its place.  It was wonderful, more 
than they could have ever hoped.

"You can see something?  Oh, Sam, that's great!"  He pulled away from her 
slightly, enough to look down at her face.  "Why are you so upset?"

She craned her head up to face him.  Her face was pale, the moist streaks 
running down her cheeks obvious.  He brushed them away with his thumbs as 
he cupped her face again.  "Think Jack."

//Think?  Think about what.  Sam was getting her eyesight back, what 
could possibly be wrong with that?//  Now he could take her up to the 
lake with him, he could take her to the movies, to a hockey match.  They 
could do all the things that he had always wanted to do with her.

//Everything except be with her.//

It couldn't be possible; they couldn't lose everything after taking so 
long to get it.  He wasn't willing to let it be that way.  There had to 
be some way they could be together, they just had to think of it.

"Oh, Sam," he murmured, pulling her back to his chest and enveloping her 
in his arms.  "We'll sort something out ... there has to be a way."

"I don't think so, Jack," she sobbed into his chest.  "I think we have to 
make these next few weeks memorable ... live them to their fullest."

Jack could feel tears pricking at his eyes as he thought about it.  There 
was nothing they could do.  He hugged her closer, resuming their gentle 
sway to the music.  There might be nothing that they could do to remain 
together, but he vowed that they would make the most out of the short 
time they had, until they could be together once again.


                         *******************

More Than Anyone Deserves
By Flotternz and Tarra O'Neal - flotternz@yahoo.co.nz and 
IrishLas413@msn.com


RATING: PG/PG13

WARNINGS: None?

CATEGORY: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst

PAIRINGS: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet

SPOILERS: Some for Cold Lazarus; Slight for Children of the Gods; Slight 
for the original movie.

TIME FRAME: Part 2 in the Last Breath Series. Sequel to "Looking Through 
Your Eyes"; Season 5 (After Desperate Measures - Before Meridian)

SUMMARY: The lives of Sam and Jack have been changed drastically...will 
they make the right decisions?

STATUS: Complete, 2nd in a series

ARCHIVE: Dyiallias II - http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com , S/J 
archive, Jackfic ... anywhere else please ask.

DISCLAIMER: Sadly we don't own SG-1, or that lovely graying, brown eyed 
Colonel...*sigh*! Oh woe are we!! Anyways... Stargate SG-1 and its 
characters are the property of Stargate Productions, MGM/UA, Viacom, 
Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Showtime and/or Sci 
Fi networks. No infringement is intended to the above parties. This is 
for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. The 
original characters, situations, and story are the property of the 
author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the 
author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Song credits – Inspired by the song "More Than Anyone 
Deserves'" by LeAnn Rimes.

FEEDBACK: SWEET!!! We love feedback!! The more we get, the more we write, 
and everyone's happy!! :)


                         *******************

Major Samantha Carter stood in her bathroom looking at the object in 
front of her. //It couldn't be,// she thought. She ran a hand through her 
disheveled hair, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes had 
rings under them, there were strain lines at the corners of her mouth, 
and her hair....well, it had seen better days.

She glanced down at her watch and saw that if she didn't leave 
immediately, she would be late. She snatched the paper bag that was off 
to the side and left the confines of the bathroom. Grabbing her duffle 
bag off the kitchen table, she stuffed the paper bag into it, and rushed 
out the door. 

A gust of wind nearly knocked her off her feet. It seemed like winter had 
come early to Colorado Springs, skipping autumn all together. She was 
glad she had put the top up on her car last night because a slight 
dusting of snow had settled on the ground and her car.

Relieved to feel at least some warmth from the interior of the car, she 
revved the engine, and cranked the heater up. She hoped the flurries 
didn't hinder her drive and cause her to be any later than she thought 
she would be. That wouldn't sit well with anyone, least of all the 
Colonel. 

She and Jack had been treading on thin ice for the past couple of months. 
After her vision returned, everyone had assumed that she would just 
continue with her duties at the SGC. It wasn't in her nature to 
disappoint anyone. So being the dedicated soldier and doctor that she 
was, she had gone back. She went against everything her heart was telling 
her. Even a little voice in the corner of her mind told her to go with 
her heart. Too bad she didn't listen to it. 

Even at five o'clock in the morning traffic was at a standstill, thanks 
to the snow. Crap. She was going to be in hot water when...if...she got 
there. She pulled her cell phone out of her coat pocket. She dialed the 
familiar number to Janet's office, hoping that she would be within 
hearing distance. After the sixth ring she nearly hung up but it was 
picked up. 

"Dr. Fraiser." Janet sounded breathless. 

"Janet? It's Sam. Looks like I might be a tad late. Can you pass along 
the word?" Sam knew she didn't even have to ask. Janet was always willing 
to do anything for her. She was so glad she had a friend like Janet. 

"Of course. So did we get the snow that was forecasted?"

"Yeah ... that's what the holdup is. Not much right now, but enough to 
cause traffic to slow to a crawl," Sam said.

"Are you alright Sam?"

"I'm fine Janet, just a little tired. Why do you ask?"

Janet sounded concerned, and a little worried. "You just sound a little 
down today," she replied. "I know these last few weeks have been rough on 
you, ever since you came to work, and this whole thing with you and Jack-
."

//Oh not again!// Sam rolled her eyes. Janet had been trying to get her 
to open up ever since she had returned to the SGC. Her friend meant well, 
but there was nothing that she could do to help, so what was the point of 
talking? It wasn't going to make the situation any better.

"I'm fine Janet," she replied, her voice a little harsher than she meant 
it to be. "I just had a bit of trouble sleeping last night."

//And every other night.// It was more difficult to sleep alone with the 
knowledge that it was her decision that had made it be that way. It was 
hard enough to sleep when the memories of those blissful few weeks they 
had shared together kept surging up every time she closed her eyes.

She was beginning to regret her choice.

"Oh okay then," Janet's tone sounded friendly enough, but Sam could hear 
the disappointment in her voice. "Well, you know where I am if you ever 
need to talk."

"I know, thank you. I'll see you later on today for that check up, okay 
Janet?"

"Sure. See you then."

Sam switched off her phone with a sigh. Why did things always have to go 
from bad to worse?

Today was going to be a bad day.

                         *******************

"Daniel, would you just quit it?"

Jack's voice was laced with irritation and exasperation. He felt bad for 
snapping at the younger man. Daniel was only trying to help him, but it 
was help he didn't want. It's wasn't like Daniel could help him anyway; 
there was nothing that anyone could do. It was hopeless.

He had his attention focused on the yo-yo in his hands, trying his 
hardest not to look at Daniel, to show that he wasn't interested in this 
line of conversation. Concentrating on something so simplistic also 
helped in keeping his attention from other things ... things he would 
rather not remember just yet.

But even focusing on the most menial of tasks didn't serve to help him 
for long. Being in this place was a constant, heartbreaking, reminder of 
what he'd had for such a short time and lost just as quickly.

"Fine, I'll leave you to it then," Daniel snapped angrily. He stalked out 
of the office and slammed the door shut behind him.

Jack sighed, putting the yo-yo down on his desk. He thought things would 
be easier than this. He had hoped that it wouldn't affect the friendships 
that they had all fought so hard to build and nurture.

It was tough. He was pushing Daniel away. He and Sam were barely talking. 
It was too difficult. It killed him to have to see her every day knowing 
that she had chosen this place over him. That was the way it had to be. 
They had both agreed it was the best thing to do. He regretted it more 
and more with each passing moment.

Every day he stopped himself just before he printed his letter of 
resignation. It was so tempting just to print it out and hand it to the 
General, but he couldn't. He couldn't leave this job, not yet anyway. No 
matter how much his heart ached to be with Sam, he knew that his role at 
the SGC was too important to turn his back on. Besides, it's not like she 
wanted to be with him anyway, things would be very different now if that 
was the case.

There was a soft knock at his door and he sighed. Couldn't he get a 
moment of peace? "Yeah?"

The door opened and Janet's head poked around it. "Are you free at the 
moment, sir?"

Jack barely managed to stop the groan that threatened. //Great, first 
Daniel now her!// "Actually no, I'm not."

Janet frowned at his brusque tone. "Okay ... Sam just called. She's going 
to be a little bit late, she's caught in traffic."

//She couldn't call me and tell me that? I'm her CO for god sake! The CO 
that used to be her lover.// It hurt more than it should have, like 
thousands of tiny little needles piercing his heart. //Is this where we 
were now, relegated to sending messages to each other with our friends, 
because it was so unbearable being in the same room as each other?//

He glanced up at Janet to find her staring wide-eyed back at him. //Oh 
crap, how much of that did I say aloud?// Her arms were now across her 
chest, her lips clenched in a tight, angry line. "Do you have any idea 
how hard this is on Sam? You aren't the only one suffering, Jack. 
Remember that, and quit being such an ass!"

Jack tried to form a reply, but he was left completely speechless. 
//What's the point of arguing when she is right?// He shrugged lamely.

Janet made a sound of disgust. Turning on her heel she left the office, 
slamming the door behind her.

Jack rolled his eyes. Great, he had just managed to alienate another 
friend. //Not bad for an hours work!// Sighing loudly he dropped his head 
onto his arms. How was it possible for this day to get worse?

                         *******************

Whew! She made it. 

Sam stomped the snow off her boots as soon as she entered the door to the 
top level of the base. It seems that the closer she got to the mountain 
the more snow she ran into. Looks like she will be staying on base for a 
while, whether there is a mission or not. 

She glanced at her watch for what seemed like the hundredth in an hour. 
Good thing she always left her house early, today was no exception. She 
had forty-five minutes to spare. She rushed through the clearance check 
point, and proceeded down to the infirmary level. Before going on to her 
eye checkup with Janet, she thought she would stop off at a restroom. 

Making sure there was no one else in the facility, she made her way to 
end stall and pulled the paper bag from the pharmacy she had stopped at 
the night before. She pulled the cover off the second pregnancy test from 
the opened box. Following the directions she finished and popped her head 
out the door, still keeping tabs on the vacancy status of the bathroom. 
The stall was too dark, so she moved over to one of the sinks where the 
lighting was better. Her hands were shaking so hard she could barely hold 
onto the test stick. She laid it on the sink and continued to watch for 
the window on the stick to change...or not to change. Her gaze shifted 
nervously between the door, her watch, and the test stick. Only one 
minute had passed. It seemed like forever. It only took five minutes to 
achieve the reading, though it seemed like time had slowed down. 

Three minutes.

Two and a half. 

Two.

One and three quarters.

One and a half.

One.

Thirty seconds.

Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one...

Her watched beeped and seemed to echo off the walls. She reached her hand 
out hesitantly and picked up the stick. Her hand was shaking erratically, 
so she had to grip her wrist with her other hand so she could steady it 
to read it. She closed her eyes briefly before looking at it. She wasn't 
sure what she wanted it to say. Before she lost her nerve, her eyes slid 
open. And there it was in plain sight. A blue...positive sign.

"Sam, you made it! I was beginning to get worried about you."

Sam swung around with a jolt, stick still in hand. She hadn't heard 
anyone enter the restroom. Shock was written on her face and the color 
drained from her face as she saw Janet's own reaction.

"Sam?" Janet's voice was laced with surprise...and something else. 

"I...uh..." Sam couldn't manage to talk at the moment. 

Janet closed the door behind her and stepped deeper into the room, her 
eyes darting between the stick in Sam's hand and her face.

"Sam?" Her voice was quiet and full of surprise. "What's going on?"

"You're a doctor Janet, can't you tell," Sam snapped, flushing furiously 
as her surprise was replaced by anger. It was completely irrational, and 
she felt terrible the moment the words left her mouth.

Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Janet, I'm sorry...I didn't mean..."

"Sam, honey, it's okay." Janet moved closer to her and leaned over to 
look at the stick that Sam held out. She looked up into Sam's eyes, 
seeing the uncertainty there. "You know they aren't always accurate. If 
you want I can run a test. It won't take long at all."

Sam nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Turning away from her friend 
she quickly gathered her things back into her duffle bag and took the 
time to calm herself down. Straightening up she slung the bag over her 
shoulder, feeling slightly more in control of herself. "Can we do it now 
Janet?"

The doctor's arm slid around her waist, squeezing gently, reassuringly. 
"Don't worry Sam, everything will be okay."

                         *******************

Sam sat on the bed in one of the private rooms off from the infirmary. 
Her hands were twisting in the single sheet covering the bed. She would 
know in a few minutes. She had some idea from the two home tests, but she 
wanted to know for certain. Her whole life could be changed in a split 
second. As odd as it sounded, she wasn't horrified. She should have 
realized that something like this could have happened. She hadn't been on 
birth control in ages. It wasn't as if she was ever in any serious 
relationships. Her relationship with Jack had come as some surprise. 
Though it was one she didn't regret...would never regret. 

Questions kept flying through her head. Was she ready to be a mother? 
Could she handle it? She had always wanted to have children; she just 
never pictured it to happen this way. It wasn't as if she couldn't 
support a child. She could. But could she raise one on her own? 

Sam's head flew up when she heard heels clicking down the hallway. That 
could only be Janet. Janet with her test results. She would know now. She 
would find out once and for all if she was going to have a baby. 

Janet entered the room, clipboard in hand. She had a neutral look pasted 
on her face, not wanting her emotions to take sides before she found out 
how Sam felt about the results. 

"Well?" Sam asked edging on impatience. 

"The results were conclusive..." Janet started out professionally.

"Janet... please," Sam pleaded softly.

Janet glanced up from her clipboard and her expression softened. Feeling 
the need to comfort her friend she went over and sat down beside Sam. She 
put her arm around her and started again. "You're eleven weeks along. You 
are going to have a baby."

Sam sat there for a moment, not able to speak, or barely comprehend. 
Neutrality was written on her face. And then it clicked. //I'm going to 
have a baby. Oh my God...I'm going to have *Jack's* baby.// A slow smile 
formed on her lips as tears slipped down her face. She was actually 
thrilled. She wanted this baby. She just didn't realize how much until 
then.

As soon as Janet saw the tears she gathered Sam in a consoling embrace. 
"Sam, I'm sorry," she said through tears of her own. She didn't see Sam's 
smile.

"Don't be. I'm not," Sam managed through a constricted throat.

Janet leaned back to gauge Sam's reaction. Sam's face was wet with tears, 
her eyes had bags under them, and her face muscles were pinched with 
fatigue, but she looked genuinely happy. In fact, if Janet didn't know 
any better, she was glowing. The though made her giggle. 

"So this means I'm going to be an aunt?" Janet asked jokingly. 

"Looks like." Sam's smile seemed to increase in wattage. 

"So when are you going to tell Jack? Or are you going to tell him?" 
Janet's voice returned to seriousness. 

Sam bowed her head. "Yeah, I'm going to tell him. I just haven't decided 
how yet."

"If you need any support when you do, just let me know," Janet offered.

"I will. But I think I need to do this on my own." Sam raised her head 
again and gave a small smile.

                         *******************

Jack drummed his fingers impatiently on the table. Where the hell was 
Sam? The briefing was supposed to start 5 minutes ago and she hadn't 
shown up yet. He glanced at the General, expecting to see impatience on 
his face. He was relieved to see that he wasn't.

He looked down at his watch again. He hated being kept waiting. He spared 
a glance for Daniel opposite him, who was studiously avoiding looking in 
his direction. A small sigh left his lips. He guessed he shouldn't be 
surprised; he had been pretty hard on the guy lately.

He just wanted to get this briefing over with so they could get the 
mission over with. At least then he would be able to go home. At least 
then he wouldn't have the constant reminder of Sam. He was glad for that, 
that they hadn't shared his bed. He knew it would have been so much 
harder on him if they had.

//I wonder how Sam is dealing with this.// His thoughts drifted back to 
his conversation with Janet. She had told him that this was hard on Sam 
too. It didn't show, but then again she was just as good as he was at 
hiding her feelings. Did she regret the decision as much as he did?

The sound of footsteps echoed up the stairwell. Jack squared his 
shoulders, unable to prevent the impatience that had crept across his 
face. He had a snappy remark about tardiness fresh on his tongue when her 
head appeared around the doorway. The words fled him as he drank in her 
appearance.

She had been crying. It wouldn't have been obvious to anyone else, but he 
had been the one that consoled her whenever she was upset after her 
accident, he could see it as clear as day. Her eyes were red and slightly 
bloodshot.

She was radiant. Her cheeks had a healthy glow and she was smiling as she 
walked up to the table. Her eyes were locked to his and he felt the 
breath leave his chest. She was so beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful. 
//Why had she been crying? What could have had her in tears one moment 
and made her so delightedly happy now?//

Sam broke eye contact as she looked at the General. "Sorry I'm late sir, 
my check up took a little longer than expected."

Then her eyes were back on his. He was taken back by the intensity of her 
gaze. What was going on? It was like she was searching for something, but 
he was damned if he knew what. He offered her a small smile and his mind 
worked overtime to comprehend what was going on.

This was the most contact that they'd had in nearly two months. He 
couldn't help but lose himself in her eyes. He could see the love there, 
the regret and the happiness. Was she having a change of heart?

"Colonel?"

The voice was so abrupt that Jack jumped and broke eye contact. He looked 
at the General. "Sorry, I drifted off for a moment there," he muttered 
lamely. Had the General noticed what had been happening? Probably.

//D'oh!//

Hammond looked mildly amused, much to Jack's relief. "I was asking if you 
thought your team was ready for this mission."

"Oh ... yeah we sure are. I bet Danny is dying to find some more rocks to 
study."

The joke fell on deaf ears, as he had expected it would. He glanced at 
Sam to find her grinning at him, at least she laughed at his jokes.

"Great," Hammond announced, standing up. "You will depart in two hours."

Jack pulled his attention from Sam long enough to nod his agreement to 
the General. When he turned back to her she was gone. 

//What the hell?//

                         *******************

Sam had been pacing across her lab for the last half hour. She was 
delaying the inevitable. She had to go and talk to Jack. She had to tell 
him before they went on the mission. 

She had no idea how he was going to take it. She knew from what had 
happened in the briefing that he had no idea. He was clueless as to why 
she'd been so happy when she had arrived, but she could tell that he knew 
that she had been crying too.

Jack had such a look of hope in his eyes as he watched her. It meant one 
thing to Sam, he thought that the looks she was giving him, the smile 
that split her face, meant something else. He had no clue that she was 
going to tell him that she was going to have his baby.

//Jack's baby.//

Those two words had such a pleasant ring to them. She felt like she was 
glowing. She never realized how happy the thought of having a child would 
make her. She felt like doing a little dance. It only firmed her resolve. 
She had to tell him ... *now*.

Butterflies fluttering crazily in her stomach as she left her lab and 
headed in the direction of Jack's office. She arrived quicker than she 
expected. Shuffling her feet nervously, she hesitated before knocking on 
the door. How was he going to react?

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

"Yeah?"

It sounded like he was in a bad mood. Sam steeled herself and gathering 
her courage she opened the door and stepped into his office. He was 
seated at his desk, his face slightly flushed. He glanced up at her, his 
eyes flashing with irritation.

"Carter?" His voice was gravelly. He wasn't just in a bad mood, he was 
angry, furious.

"Sir, do you have a few moments, I have something I need to talk to you 
about," she pressed on despite the second thoughts that were plaguing 
her. She didn't expect him to be in this mood when she told him that he 
was the father of her baby.

"Sure Carter, I have all the time in the world for you." His bitter 
sarcasm was like a slap in the face to Sam.

"Sir ... Jack ... what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" He exploded. Slamming his hands down on the desk, he 
pushed himself up a little to glare at her. "Why don't we start with 
what's right?"

Sam was lost. She was tempted to walk out of the room, to leave him to 
it, but she couldn't. Something was wrong and she wanted to find out what 
it was. "What?"

He fell back into his seat, his shoulders slumped. "General Hammond just 
paid me a visit. He gave me a warning about my misconduct during the 
briefing," he paused, scrubbing a hand across his face. 

He looked tired, Sam realized, so tired and so unhappy. "He wanted to 
know if we were involved in a relationship," he murmured miserably.

"Oh." Sam had no idea what to say. They weren't in a relationship, but 
she wasn't about to ask Jack what he told the General.

"Oh?" It was almost a yell. "Is that all you can say? *Oh*? Do you have 
any idea how difficult these last few weeks have been on me?"

Sam felt herself losing her temper. Putting her hands on the desk she 
leaned her face in close to his. "About as difficult as it's been for me 
Jack," she spat.

He sprang up out of his seat. "Is that why you've wanted nothing to do 
with me? Why you've avoided me like the plague ... because this has been 
difficult for you? If I had known that things would be so unbearable 
between us that you couldn't stand being around me I might have fought 
harder to convince you not to come back!"

Sam moved back from him, unable to handle the anger burning in his eyes, 
unable to contain the guilt of knowledge that she had done this to him. 
She couldn't think up a snappy reply.

"Or did you regret what happened between us and this is your way of 
showing it, of showing me that you didn't really want me in the first 
place?"

Jack's voice was cold. His words were like a knife plunged into her 
chest. She was skirting close to the limitations of her self-control. 
"You know that's not true Jack," she replied, her voice matching his for 
closeness. "You know that I love you and that I valued that time we spent 
together."

"You have a funny way of showing it!"

The words would have had less impact if he had reached over and slapped 
her in the face. "I can't believe you Jack," she said, her voice barely 
more than a whisper. "I can't believe that the father of my baby could be 
such an ass not to see how much I truly love him."

The words would have had less impact if he had reached over and slapped 
her in the face. "I can't believe you Jack," she said, her voice barely 
more than a whisper. "I can't believe that the father of my baby could be 
such an ass not to see how much I truly love him."

Sam couldn't stay in the room with him any longer. She had to get away; 
she had to clear her head. Turning she left the room quickly, certain 
that the last look she had seen on Jack's face was one of horror.

                         *******************

"I can't believe you Jack," he had to strain to hear the words; they were 
cold and succinct. "I can't believe the father of my baby could be such 
an ass that he can't see how much I truly love him!"

Jack slumped back in his seat hard enough to rattle his teeth, if his jaw 
hadn't hit the floor first. Did he hear that right? Father of her baby? 
No ... he had to be hearing things.

He looked up in time to see the door slam shut behind her. His every 
instinct screamed to go after her, but he couldn't move. His brain fought 
to absorb this new piece of information. He was shaken to the core, it 
was completely unexpected. He was caught completely flat-footed, like 
someone had punched him in the gut sending all the air out of his body in 
one great rush.

Sam was pregnant ... with his child. It didn't seem possible. It was like 
something out of a dream. Had he imagined it? No, definitely not. There 
was steel in her voice, certainty, when she said it. Sam wouldn't lie 
about something as important as that.

//Breathe, Jack.//

He groaned, dropping his head down onto his desk. He had been such an ass 
to her. He hadn't had the right to treat her as appallingly as he had. He 
shouldn't have taken his foul mood out on her. She must hate him now.

She must have come to tell him about the baby. Had he ruined his chances 
with her? Was she going to jump to the conclusion that he didn't want the 
baby and do something irrational, something she would regret?

It felt so weird to think about. He was going to be a father again. It 
was wonderful, it was amazing. It was like all his dreams had come at 
once. A beautiful woman who loved him and their baby on the way. What 
more could a man want?

Jack stood up. He had to find Sam; he had to apologize to her and make 
things right.

                         *******************

After Sam had stormed out of Jack's office, she went in search of Janet. 
Her emotions were raging and threatening to overflow. Sam found Janet in 
the corner of the infirmary talking softly to Daniel. Sam tried to remain 
patient, as there were a couple other personnel present, however she 
didn't know how long she could take it. A few minutes went by as the 
personnel drifted out of the infirmary. 

"Janet," Sam called out in a strangled voice. 

Janet's head jerked up as she caught the upset pleading tone in Sam's 
voice, and knowing only all too well what it might mean. She rushed over 
to her friend and led her out of the infirmary and on to her office. 
Daniel followed closely behind, concerned for Sam's current state. 

As soon as the door to her office was closed, Janet gathered her into a 
comforting embrace, as Sam broke down crying. "What happened, Sam?" Janet 
asked soothingly, although she had some idea what had just occurred.

"I went to go and tell Jack about the baby," she replied between sobs. 
"He... the General had just seen him... asked him if we were involved. He 
was so angry and unreasonable Janet. He thought I didn't love him." 

"That son of a..." Sam heard Daniel swear under his breath, which caused 
her to cry even harder.

"Sam, calm down, honey. You need to calm down," Janet urged.

Sam was breathing hard and was clutching onto Janet like a lifeline. Why 
was she breaking down like this, she was a Major in the United States Air 
Force, for goodness sake. She was supposed to be tough and unbeatable. 
Why couldn't she stop crying?

"Sam, you are going to have to calm down before you hyperventilate." 
Janet's voice brought on a concerned tone. 

"I didn't tell him Janet," she gasped, trying desperately to control her 
breathing. "I just blurted it out and left the room." She gripped the 
front of her friend's lab coat tightly. "I was just so angry ... I 
couldn't help myself. He looked horrified Janet!"

Janet looked over Sam's shoulder and met Daniel's eyes. She could see the 
anger radiating there. Anger towards Jack. She felt the same way. Jack 
was breaking Sam's heart and he didn't even realize it.

Janet led Sam over to a set of chairs and eased her down into one. Sam 
doubled over with another wave of sobs. Both Janet and Daniel gathered 
around her; Janet putting her arm around her and Daniel offering a 
consoling hand on her knee.

"Sam, I am sure Jack wasn't horrified. You probably shocked him as much 
as yourself. You know how much he loves children. Which means he would 
love your child even more," Janet assured her. 

Sobs overtook her again, and she struggled to ride them out. She took the 
time to try and sort everything out in her mind. She knew Jack loved her, 
there was no way feelings that strong could change so soon. He did love 
kids, and she was sure that he wanted another one. But that look of 
horror that was on his face ... she couldn't forget it. Did it mean 
anything?

Her sobs slowly subsided. Taking a deep breath she looked up at both of 
her friends, straining to see them through the tears in her eyes. "Maybe 
your right ... but if you're wrong I don't think I can do this on my own, 
Janet. I don't want my baby growing up with a father that hates it."

Daniel's arm slid around her shoulder. "If that happens, Sam, it happens. 
You'll still have us; we'll always be there to help you out."

Sam flushed, but her friend's reassuring words cheered her a little. What 
had she done to deserve such great friends? "Thank you both," she 
whispered, tears sliding down her cheeks once more. "I ... I think I want 
to go up for some air."

"Do you want us to come with you Sam," Janet asked, worry still evident 
in her voice.

Sam shook her head. Standing she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. "No. I 
wanna be alone for a while. I've got a lot to think about."

Janet stood with her. "Would you like me to talk to General Hammond? Get 
you taken off this mission?"

"No. I want to go," she replied, a touch of defiance in her voice. 
Forcing a smile, she turned and left the room.

                         *******************

Jack hadn't seen Sam since she left his office after his...yes 
his...blowup. He tried to find her all over the base, but either she 
didn't want to be found or he just wasn't looking in the right places. He 
felt absolutely terrible over what he did. He shouldn't have yelled at 
her. No matter what position he had been in, he never should have done 
that. 

He had to talk to her. He had to find out if what he *thought* she said 
was what she *really* said. They were all waiting in the Gate room to 
depart, but Sam still hadn't shown up. He was really getting worried now. 
Sam was never late for a mission departure. 

Daniel was avoiding him, he was sure of it. And if looks could kill, 
well...he would be way more than six feet under. Teal'c was his usual 
impassive self, though he did detect a bit of tension from him. 

Jack tapped his watch again, making sure it was working. And it was. He 
straightened the strap on his P-90, again, trying to keep his hands busy 
while waiting.

As the Gate began its rotation, General Hammond came over the intercom 
from the Control Room. "Where is Major Carter?"

"I don't know, Sir..." Jack began, but was cut off abruptly by Daniel.

"She'll be here shortly."

Jack swung his head around and met Daniel's frigid stare. Surely he still 
wasn't mad about the earlier incident in his office. Though Daniel did 
hold grudges, so that was probably it. 

Sam ran into the Gate Room apologizing to the General for her tardiness. 
She flew past Jack in a flurry of movement, making him think he just 
imagined her entry. She didn't acknowledge his presence other than a 
brief nod, which kind of hurt him, though he did deserve it. She moved in 
between him and Daniel. 

He could hear Daniel talking to her, but could only make out a few words 
under the drowning sound of the Gate engaging. He did hear him ask her if 
she was alright. As to her response, he didn't hear that.

She looked drained, and her eyes were still puffy, thanks to him he was 
sure. Man he was such a jerk. Maybe he should relieve her of this 
mission. She was probably in no shape to carry out a mission, even if it 
was just a routine "take-samples-and-go-home" job.

"Major, perhaps you should stand down from this mission," Jack said 
wanting to sound impartial, but knew he failed. His suggestion came out 
too gruff and harsh. 

"I'm fine, Sir," Sam responded lifting her chin a notch.

"I mean it Major. Stay behind on this one. There will be more missions," 
Jack urged, digging himself in deeper.

"I'm going, *Sir*."

"You're staying."

"I'm going."

Jack turned to look at her and caught her hardened gaze. God, did he do 
this to her? //Leave it to me to screw something else up,// he thought. 

Sam was staring straight ahead waiting for the go. As soon as General 
Hammond gave the okay, she shot up the ramp like the devil himself was 
after her. And in a sense he was. 

//Man, she must really despise me. Heck, I despise myself right now!//

He trailed up the ramp behind his team, a bad feeling lingering in the 
pit of his stomach. He had the feeling that something else was going to 
go wrong today. He just hoped that Sam would be okay.

                         *******************

Sam sighed and squinted up at the sky. Her back ached and she could feel 
a headache creeping up on her. Spending the last few hours in the sun 
hadn't helped; her eyes were achy and watering, despite her wearing 
sunglasses.

Standing, she stretched out the kinks in her back and took the 
opportunity to glance around the clearing. It was eerily quiet. Nobody 
was talking. She missed the Colonel's smart-ass comments, his complaints 
about being bored, and his jokes.

Her eyes instantly sought him out. He was sitting on a rock about twenty 
meters away bouncing a stone absently on the palm of his hand. He didn't 
seem to be angry anymore, but he was a lot more pensive and distant than 
she had expected. She had felt his eyes on her often during the last few 
hours, she was curious to know what he was thinking about.

Daniel stepped up to her, putting a hand gently on her shoulder. "You 
okay, Sam?"

He had stuck by her side most of the day, making no attempt to hide his 
concern for her. It was touching ... and a tad annoying at times. At 
least she knew she could always rely on him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Daniel."

She could feel Jack's eyes on her again. She glanced at him, surprised at 
the array of emotions that flickered across his face. There was 
definitely no anger there. Remorse, concern and maybe a little bit of 
doubt.

Daniel's hand tightened on her shoulder as Jack stood and threw the stone 
aside. He was still angry at Jack; the two of them had barely spoken 
since they had stepped through the Stargate. In fact, Sam realized, no 
one had spoken to the Colonel, not even Teal'c, except with the cursory 
responses to his orders.

Jack glanced once more in her direction before turning and heading the 
opposite way, his shoulders slumped. Sam watched until his back 
disappeared into the woods.

Sam looked at Daniel and he shrugged as if to say 'he did it to himself'. 
She couldn't help feeling a little guilty. Her anger at him had slowly 
been fading since she had spoken to Janet and Daniel. While she was still 
mildly annoyed about the way he had treated her, she knew that if the 
situation had been reversed she probably would have done the same.

She had to talk to him ... now. She couldn't bear it any longer. "I'm 
going to go talk to him," she muttered, brushing Daniel's hand off her 
and taking a step in the direction Jack went.

"Sam?"

She glanced back at him. "Yeah?"

"Do you want me to come along?"

Sam smiled. He was so sweet. "I have to do this on my own, Daniel."

She crossed the clearing in no time, eyes searching left and right for 
any signs of where the Colonel might have gone. She spotted his boot 
print in the dry, dusty, soil and followed it deeper into the woods.

A low moan caught her attention and she automatically was put on guard. 
"Colonel?"

She walked towards it uncertainly, stepping around the thick foliage, 
gripping her P-90 in front of her. The moan grew a little louder. 
"Colonel," she repeated more insistently.

A muttered curse caught her ear. Stepping up her pace, she stepped deeper 
into the foliage in the direction she hoped the sound was coming.

Sam saw his booted foot first, sticking out from behind a tree. Without a 
sound thought she rushed forward, assuming the worst. "Teal'c ... Daniel. 
The Colonel's down, I might need back up."

Not stopping to wait for their affirmative response she stepped around 
the trunk, trying to ignore the tiny knot of fear in her gut that her 
baby's father could be seriously injured.

Her relief was immediate. Jack was sitting propped against the tree 
trunk. His head was down, but she could see his eyes were squeezed 
tightly shut and his jaw clenched. There were no visible signs of injury, 
except that he was gripping his left knee tightly between both his hands.

Sam dropped to her knees next to him and touched his arm. "Jack, are you 
okay?"

He raised his head to look at her. Sweat was streaming down his face. 
"I've been better," he grated.

"What happened?"

He rested his head back against the tree trunk. "Wasn't paying attention 
... tripped over the roots," he replied through clenched teeth.

"Your knee?"

Gritting his teeth he nodded. "Yup."

Sam grabbed her radio again. "Daniel, can you have Teal'c bring the first 
aid kit? Stay behind and pack up our equipment, we're gonna have to go 
back."

"Is he okay, Sam?" He actually sounded concerned.

"He's fine ... he's injured his knee."

One of his hands left his knee and grabbed hers. He looked up at her, his 
eyes alert and piercing. He squeezed it tightly. "I'm sorry, Sam," he 
mumbled, flinching through another wave of pain.

Sam placed her other hand gently on his shoulder. She could hear Teal'c 
crunching through the foliage. "We'll talk when we get back okay?"

                         *******************

Jack couldn't believe his luck.

He gritted his teeth as his knee was jarred on the rocky terrain, biting 
back the curse that was on his lips. He knew they weren't jostling him 
intentionally, but it wasn't helping. He tried to keep his eyes focused 
on Sam's back, but the pain was too intense.

//God, I am such an idiot!//

He hadn't been concentrating, pure and simple. He hadn't been able to 
concentrate properly since his argument with Sam. He had so much to ask 
her and so much to sort out in his mind. So he had wandered off to 
relieve himself, his mind occupied with the events of the day.

So, instead of concentrating on the foliage in front of him, which was 
getting thicker the deeper into the woods he got, he was walking along 
with his head in the clouds. He didn't see the tree root, didn't notice 
it until his boot got snagged in it and he tumbled, a sickening crack 
echoing in his ears as his knee gave out.

He had been too embarrassed to call out for help, and in too much pain to 
concentrate on anything other than his own stupidity. He had been injured 
countless times on a mission, his parachute not opening, being shot, but 
never something as foolish as tripping over a tree root!

Jack had tried to stand when he heard footsteps coming towards him, tried 
to get up and pretend that everything was okay, but he couldn't. Whatever 
he had done to his knee, it was bad. If he hadn't been in so much pain he 
might have wondered why it was Sam that had found him, might have 
wondered if she had been looking for him.

Teal'c stumbled over a rock, jarring Jack's knee again. "Christ!" He 
hissed through his teeth.

Sam turned and looked at him, worry showing on her face. "Sir?"

"Nothing, Carter," he replied, his voice strained. "Can we just hurry and 
get back so Janet can jab a needle in my ass to stop this pain?"

Sam giggled, looking slightly more relieved. Daniel even snorted 
mirthfully. "You'll be lucky if that's all she'll do," he muttered under 
his breath.

//Crap, does everyone have it in for me today?//

Jack tried to ignore Daniel's statement, again focusing his attention on 
Sam's back. He had tried to talk to her, but she had brushed him off. 
Later, she said. Does that mean she was willing to forgive him? He still 
didn't know for certain that she was pregnant.

They were slowing down. He could see the Stargate in front of Sam. 
//About time!// He breathed out a sigh of relief. Soon he would be back 
on earth with a supply of painkillers. The thought was almost enough to 
put a smile on his face, nearly.

Sam dialed up the address on the DHD and moments later the gate 
activated. She turned, a comforting smile on her face. "Almost there 
Jack."

//Jack, she said Jack, not sir and not Colonel. That has to be a good 
thing, doesn't it?// Feeling somewhat cheered, he returned her smile and 
prepared himself for what was going to be an agonizing journey through 
the Stargate.

                         *******************

Sam waited impatiently outside the infirmary. She had heard Jack cry out 
in pain a few moments ago, followed by cursing that had made her ears go 
red. She guessed Janet wasn't being too gentle with him. She could 
remember having to set his leg when they were trapped at the Antarctic 
gate; he wasn't the best patient when he was in pain anyway. Couple that 
with one angry Doctor and you didn't get a very nice mix.

She flinched as he yelped again. "Would you quit it, Janet?" His voice 
reverberated through the infirmary.

Sam stood and was about to go and find out what was going on when the 
curtain to the cubicle opened and Janet stepped out, a satisfied smirk on 
her face. "He's all yours Sam."

Nervously Sam made her way over to the cubicle, wiping her suddenly 
sweaty hands on her pants. She had promised him that they would talk. Now 
was as good a time as any. She had no idea what she was going to say to 
him. She had no idea what his mood was going to be like.

She stepped into the cubicle quickly, not giving herself the chance to 
have second thoughts. Jack's head jerked up, a frown etched deep in his 
forehead. He looked relieved to see it was Sam.

Sam stood there for a moment looking at him. His face was pale and 
flushed, and held a nervousness that she hadn't anticipated. He was 
wearing one of those charming green gowns, his knee strapped tightly in a 
black brace that went from mid-calf to mid-thigh. She flushed as she 
realized that her eyes were lingering on that bare thigh and pulled her 
eyes away.

"So what's the diagnosis?"

Jack shifted on the bed. "Oh, I'll be out of commission for a while. 
Managed to tear the ligaments in my knee. Doc has to wait for the 
swelling to go down before she can tell how badly it's messed up."

He definitely wasn't angry anymore, much to her relief. His voice had 
lost the gruffness of before the mission as well. She glanced up at him, 
meeting his eyes. "We have a lot to talk about."

Jack's face looked grim for a moment. "Yeah we do," he replied quietly. 
"First, I want to apologize for the way I treated you before. I had no 
right to take it out on you."

Sam looked at him sharply, "No you didn't, but I know the last few weeks 
have been pretty rough on the both of us. I ... ah ... I'm sorry for 
blurting out what I did."

Jack moved over on the bed and patted the vacant space next to him. "So 
it's true then," he asked uncertainly. "We're having a baby?"

She couldn't help grinning as she moved to the bed and perched herself 
next to Jack. His question cleared up all her doubts in an instant. "Yeah 
... we're having a baby."

His face broke out into the happiest grin she had ever seen. If she'd had 
any lingering doubts they were truly gone now. He reached over and pulled 
her into his chest. "I wasn't sure if I'd heard it right," he mumbled, 
holding her as tightly as he could. "How far along are you?"

"Eleven weeks," Sam replied somberly, pulling out of his arms. "We have 
so much to organize!"

She looked up as she heard Jack laugh lightly. He reached out and cupped 
her cheek with his hand. "Sam, you still have seven months. We don't have 
to have everything prepared straight away."

Sam smiled shyly, leaning her cheek a little more into his hand. She'd 
missed his touch so much. "I have no idea what I'm doing," she replied 
quietly. She was slowly beginning to realize the impact this was going to 
have on her life.

She had a whole other life to worry about now. Her baby... growing inside 
her. She was going to have to leave the Air Force, give up her position 
in SG-1 and the job she loved so much. Her life had to be devoted to this 
child.

Tears slowly trailed down cheeks. This was the happiest and most 
frightening day of her life. It was so much to comprehend in such a short 
period of time. To suddenly not only be responsible for herself, but for 
her baby too. Her baby ... it was going to take her a while to get used 
to that.

"Sam," Jack asked softly, worriedly, "What's wrong, honey?" He leaned 
forward and began kissing the moisture from her cheeks gently.

Sam smiled at the loving gesture, her tears disappearing almost 
immediately as her heart swelled at the affection he was displaying. She 
had missed his tenderness, the feeling of his lips on her, his body 
pressed gently against her own.

"It's just so much to take in ... I'm having a baby."

"No, Sam," Jack corrected. "We're having a baby."

It was such a simple statement, but it spoke volumes to Sam. Jack was 
going to be by her side the whole way. He was never going to leave her or 
their child.

She looked up at him feeling a sudden rush of emotions. "I love you, 
Jack," she whispered, holding his gaze, seeing the love she felt 
reflected in his eyes.

"I love you too, Sam."

He pulled her closer, capturing her lips with his own. Their embrace was 
not fuelled by need or desire, but by the depth of the feelings they 
needed to convey to each other. They both felt the need to convey how 
they felt with their actions and not words.

Breathlessly, Sam broke away and relaxed herself completely in the warmth 
and comfort of his arms. "We have one more problem," she pointed out, 
burying her face in his chest.

She felt Jack sigh gently against her neck. "Let me guess, the General?"

"Yeah."

He drew out of the embrace enough to look at her. "When do you want to 
tell him?"

"We have to tell him as soon as possible, Jack," she responded sadly. She 
envisioned that it wasn't going to be the most pleasant conversation 
ever.

"We'll go and see him as soon as I'm released from here okay?"

Sam nodded her agreement. Trying to keep her mind off the impending 
meeting she moved, stretching herself out on the bed so she was lying on 
her side with her arm over Jack's stomach. Before she knew it she had 
drifted off to sleep.

                         *******************

Janet couldn't help herself, she knew she shouldn't be doing this, but 
the temptation was too great. She was worried about her friend; she just 
wanted to know that Sam would be okay.

She had her head nearly pressed against the curtain of the cubicle 
adjoining Jack's. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face 
at the gentle words that wafted through the thin fabric. Her anger at the 
Colonel was slowly dissipating as she listened to their conversation.

The love in his voice was obvious, without even seeing his face or 
hearing him say the words. Sam was one lucky woman; the man was 
completely devoted to her ... and their unborn child. She had always 
known that the Colonel loved children, and she had known that he would be 
over the moon when he found out that Sam was pregnant with his baby.

A shuffling sound behind her made her jump with surprise. Turning around 
she found Daniel standing at the other side of the cubicle, watching her 
with a mixture of curiosity and consternation. She quickly put her finger 
up to her lips and motioned for him to come closer.

"What are you doing?" he whispered into her ear.

"Listen," she hissed, nodding her head towards the curtain.

Daniel scowled, but leaned his head closer to the curtain. A smile 
quickly replaced the scowl. Reaching out he took Janet's hand in his and 
pulled her closer to him, turning her so her back was pressed to him. 
"How about we give them their privacy?"

Janet closed her eyes as his breath brushed across her neck. She could 
definitely think of one thing she would rather be doing than 
eavesdropping on her friends. She twisted in his arms. Pulling his head 
down gently she pressed her lips to his. "Your office or mine?" she 
whispered flirtatiously, her hand slowly traveling down to his belt.

"Yours," he groaned into her mouth, pulling her hand away and gripping it 
tightly in his own. He stepped out of the cubicle quickly, pulling Janet 
behind him.

They crossed the infirmary quickly, desperate to be alone and away from 
prying eyes. They had been trying to keep their relationship as quiet as 
possible; being caught in a passionate embrace in one of the infirmary 
cubicles was not very good for decorum.

Daniel opened the door, led Janet in and released her hand long enough to 
close and lock the door. A grin split Janet's face. This was so bad, 
doing this sort of thing when she was supposed to be on duty, but it had 
been a long time since she skirted with trouble and she was enjoying the 
thrill it caused.

He turned, eyes gleaming with desire, a grin lighting up his boyish 
features. He stepped up to her, pulling her tightly into his arms and 
renewing his assault on her lips with glee, his hands resting lightly on 
her hips. Janet melted, reacting to his kiss with equal fervor as her 
hands drifted around his neck, pulling him closer still.

He was pushing her backwards as they kissed, slowly, step by step until 
she bumped up against her desk. Cupping her backside he lifted her gently 
so she was sitting on the desk. He pulled away slightly, enough to begin 
slowly kissing his way down her chin to her neck.

Janet threw her head back, moaning as he nipped lightly at the sensitive 
skin on her neck. Her hands slowly traveled down his torso, tickling and 
scratching softly as she responded in kind to his assault on her neck. 
Her hands found the hem of his shirt and she tugged it up. His lips left 
her throat long enough for her to remove the shirt. She tossed it to the 
ground. Reaching out she wrapped her hand around the back of his head and 
pulled it closer until their lips met in another soul-shattering kiss. 
Her free hand stroked down the length of his bare chest and torso, her 
nails scraping lightly on his flesh. He moaned into her mouth, the sound 
fueling her actions on.

Daniel pulled away, his eyes burning with passion. Janet took the 
opportunity to look him up and down. She could never grow tired of 
looking at him. Her eyes followed his collarbone, down to his well-toned 
chest and abdomen. You would never think to look at him that he would be 
as in shape as he was. She grinned, //and he is all mine!//

The look did not go unnoticed by Daniel. Eyes glinting feral he closed 
the gap between them again, pushing Janet down against the desktop. He 
leaned over her; his lips firmly against hers, tongue probing her mouth 
hungrily as he slowly unfastened the buttons of her shirt.

Closing her eyes she managed to smile as she wondered if Daniel's office 
had a good lock on the door.

                         *******************

Sam and Jack had decided after Jack was released from the infirmary, that 
they should inform General Hammond immediately of their decisions. Sam 
was going to resign her commission in the Air Force. After a long 
discussion, Sam had convinced Jack that being a mother was a higher 
priority than a Major in the USAF. He wasn't happy at first that she was 
leaving the military, but he also didn't want the mother of his child to 
be put into any danger. And that's exactly what would happen if she were 
to remain in the military. 

They walked down the hallway to the General's office. Or rather, Sam was 
walking, and Jack was limping along with the help of crutches. They 
stopped right outside of their commanding officer's closed door. Sam was 
starting to get cold feet. She knew she needed to do this, but wasn't 
sure if she could manage it. 

"Hey..." Jack whispered and lifted Sam's chin with his free hand. "We'll 
get through this, Sam, together."

Sam looked deep into his eyes and saw the love emanating from them. She 
knew he was telling her the truth. She also knew that they would have 
some rough times, but they would get through them together. 

"Are you ready?" Jack's voice strengthened her resolve.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Sam said. 

Jack knocked on the door and waited for the General to acknowledge them. 
"Come."

Jack opened the door before gripping the handgrips on the crutches again. 
He indicated for Sam to go before him. Just knowing that he was right 
behind her, gave her the much needed support to remain composed. 

"Colonel, good to see you up and about. Is there something I can help you 
with?" General Hammond asked after briefly glancing up. 

"Yes, Sir, there is," Sam said placing a plain white envelope on the desk 
in front of him. 

The General picked up the envelope and looked up at Sam, confusion 
evident on his face. "What's this, Major?"

"It's my resignation, Sir," Sam said, drawing on her resolve. 

"Resignation? What for? Why?" He asked, clearly not understanding what 
this meant.

Sam held under the General's strong gaze, until realization struck him. 
He sat back in his seat and studied both their faces intensely. He 
frowned and pursed his lips, looking genuinely annoyed.

"Colonel. I thought you said there was nothing going on between yourself 
and the Major." Hammond's voice got a steely tone to it. 

"That's not entirely correct, Sir," Jack responded. 

The General sat forward, fixing his sharp, angry glare, on Jack. His face 
was starting to go red with the anger he was barely suppressing. "Are you 
telling me that you purposely lied to your Commanding Officer, Colonel?"

Jack stared straight ahead at attention, or the best he could manage on 
crutches. "Not exactly, Sir."

"Why don't you enlighten me as to *exactly* what you *do* mean, Colonel!"

"Well, Sir, we aren't...that is...we weren't involved at the time of our 
discussion," Jack said trying not to break under the pressure. 

Sam had to speak up; she couldn't allow Jack to take the brunt of the 
General's anger. "Sir, we became involved two months ago, when I was in 
that accident. When Ja...err..the Colonel was on leave of absence. 
I...that is...we didn't think I would ever return to the military. In all 
reality I *was* blind, Sir. It was confirmed by Janet. Nobody thought my 
vision would return, most of all me. I had accepted that I would remain 
blind." Sam's reply came out in a rush of words.

"So you're telling me that you have pursued this relationship even after 
you regained your vision, Major?" He was seething with anger at this 
point.

Jack spoke up again, fury radiating from him that Sam was being put 
through this, especially in her condition. "No, *Sir*! We did *not* 
continue our relationship. We respected the military's regulations, as 
stupid as they may be, begging your pardon, *Sir*."

He was skirting close to the edge of insubordination, but was past the 
point of caring. Like he had always thought, to hell with diplomacy. He 
took a deep breath, trying to control his anger. "I think it's a moot 
point now, General. Sam is resigning from her position in the Air Force. 
If you want to bring me up on charges you are welcome to, as long as Sam 
is left out of it."

The General was silent, his eyes shifted between Jack and Sam, searching 
for something. The redness had gone from his face, but he still did not 
seem entirely convinced of their claims. "There's something more isn't 
there?"

Jack glanced at Sam, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he 
thought of their wonderful news. Just the thought of their baby made his 
anger disappear. Sam smiled at him, her face taking on that radiance it 
had held earlier, during the briefing. 

"I'm pregnant, General."

From the General's reaction they could tell that he had not expected 
this. His mouth open with surprise, his eyes flickered between Sam and 
Jack as their news slowly sunk in. "Pregnant?" A smile spread slowly 
across his face, his anger slowly ebbing away. He stood up and extended 
his arm to Jack. "Then I guess congratulations are in order."

Jack accepted the General's hand as laughter erupted from deep within 
him. Hammond came around the edge of his desk and gathered Sam in a 
fatherly hug, causing her to giggle.

"I hate to lose someone as valuable as you, Major. Or I guess it would be 
just Doctor now, wouldn't it?" Hammond smiled as he stepped back. "You 
will be staying on as a civilian advisor won't you, Sam?" he asked 
uncertainly, though it almost sounded more like an order.

Sam looked stunned, but soon was overcome with happiness. "You still want 
me here," she asked, skepticism lacing her voice.

"Of course. You're a wonderful asset. Not to mention with you around we 
can keep Jack in line," he said, giving in to a joke for once. 

At the mention of Jack, she turned to look at him and couldn't miss the 
heated look in his eyes. This day had turned out good after all. Who 
would have known that after so many weeks apart that everything would do 
a 360 in one day.

The General emitted a soft cough, getting their attention once more. "Why 
don't you two get out of here? I am putting SG-1 on stand down until 
you're recovered. You need your rest Jack, after the day you've had. And 
you too, Sam, for that matter."

"Thank you, Sir!" Jack and Sam said at the same time, causing the General 
to chuckle. 

Sam assisted Jack in turning around on his crutches. They didn't see the 
General shake his head or the most foolish grin on his face, as they 
retreated out of his office. He felt like he was going to be a grandpa 
again. And in a sense he was. 

                         *******************

Jack sat in a chair in Sam's lab waiting for her to gather her things. 
His knee was killing him, but his pervading happiness had nearly numbed 
the pain. He felt like he was flying, and it wasn't the pain killers 
talking either. 

He was able to be with the woman he loved after all these years. They had 
been through so much that it almost seemed like a dream. But it wasn't. 
He and Sam were finally together, and they were going to have a baby. He 
couldn't be happier if someone told him he'd won the lottery. He had been 
given a second chance at life. And he wasn't going to screw this one up. 

He was going to be a father. He still couldn't quite believe it. It 
seemed so unreal; yet looking at Sam across the room he knew it to be 
true.

She turned when she felt his gaze on her, making him smile. She 
definitely had the glow of a woman expecting, which only added to her 
beauty. 

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, his voice suddenly husky. He wanted to 
get out of here, wanted to be alone with this woman. He wanted to show 
her how much he had missed her in the last two months.

"Uh huh," Sam nodded her head but quickly bowed it, overcome with a wave 
of shyness.

Jack stood up as she came toward him. He balanced himself on one crutch 
so he could gather her to him with his other arm. Their lips came 
together in a much needed release of emotions. He melted into her arms 
instantly, immersing himself in all the sensations that were Sam, her 
smell, her touch.

Minutes passed before he broke away grudgingly. He wanted to be home, 
now, snuggled up next to this woman and making up for lost time. Her eyes 
opened slowly and he could see she felt the same way. His head swooped 
down and he quickly stole another kiss before turning and gathering his 
other crutch.

Sam had gathered their bags, her face flushed. Jack couldn't help 
smiling. He had to be the happiest man on the planet right now. How could 
he not? He was finally able to be with the woman he loved, and she was 
having his child. He was over the moon with joy.

As they reached the main door to the base, after check point, they saw 
the ensuing blizzard outside. 

"I don't think my car will make it in this, Jack," Sam said as she 
glanced between him and the snow outside.

"Well crap! Well we're not staying here. My truck could make it but..."

"...But you can't drive," She finished for him looking crestfallen.

Jack smiled. What the hell, he was planning on spending the rest of his 
life with her, what was his would be hers too soon enough. He reached 
into his pocket and pulled out his keys. "You can drive it though," he 
said, handing her the keys.

Sam fixed her wide, surprised eyes on him. She knew the truck was his 
pride and joy; he never let anyone drive it. "Really, are you sure? You 
don't like anyone driving your truck!" She exclaimed uncertainly, 
glancing at the key ring dangling from his hand.

"You're not just anyone now, are you?" He replied, winking at her, his 
voice belaying the depth of his feelings to her. Now that he had her he 
was never going to let her go.

Sam's face broke into a loving grin. There were so many reasons why she 
loved this man. His trust in her, being number one on the list. She 
tentatively took the keys from his hand, a surge of adrenaline in her 
veins at the thought of finally getting to drive Jack's prized Ford F-
250. Just the thought gave her a rush. Since Jack had gotten that truck 
she had been dying to get her hands on it, since she had a thing for all 
things mechanical. 

"That isn't a gleam in your eye is it, Carter?" It was more of an 
endearment now than anything. 

"No, Sir, I don't know what you're talking about," she replied teasing 
with him.

Jack chuckled as he reached out and zipped up the front of Sam's coat. 
She eyed him speculatively with a smile. 

His face held a look of innocence. "Wouldn't want the mother of my child 
catching pneumonia."

Sam couldn't resist the look in his loving brown eyes, so she leaned in 
for a quick, but passionate kiss. Of course the front door of the base 
was no place to get intimate, so she broke it off and opened the door.

A burst of wind and snow assaulted them from all directions. Jack had to 
of course park the furthest away from the base. They moved across the 
parking lot as quickly as they could, considering Jack was on crutches. 
Every now and then the rubber ends on the crutches would slip on the snow 
covered ground, and every time Jack would catch himself before falling. 
//That's all I need, is too hurt myself *again* before we even make it 
home.// Finally, after much deliberation, they made it to his truck, Jack 
grimacing in agony. 

"Jack, sweetie, are you all right?" Sam asked, concern lacing her 
breathless voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he managed a smile through clenched teeth. 

She unlocked the door on the passenger's side for him. He braced himself 
with the open door and the seat for stability, relying on his good leg 
for strength. When he made it onto the edge of the seat, he handed her 
the crutches. "Well, doesn't this seem kinda ironic!"

"Yeah it does, but I draw the line at carrying you," Sam responded in 
mock seriousness.

Jack busted up with laughter making Sam join him. "Oh, I sooooooo love 
you!"

"I know!" She said as she tossed his crutches into the bed of the truck. 

Sam jogged around to the other side of the truck and opened the door when 
Jack beat her to unlocking it. After throwing their bags into the back 
seat, she slid into the cab, anxious for the welcoming heat. The 
temperature had dropped rapidly. Jack had adjusted the heater thermostat 
as she started up the engine and proceeded to pull out of the lot. 

When she reached the edge of the lot, where the road connected to it, the 
tires slid. Sam braked without thinking, going against all her learned 
instincts. Jack's hand shot out instinctively to grab the steering wheel. 
He quickly dropped it, settling it instead on Sam's thigh. The truck went 
into a sideways skid. Sam finally got her mind to react to what was 
happening and turned the steering wheel away from the skid. The truck 
slid to a hard stop, nearly missing the entry gate by a hair. She pulled 
the gear shift into park and leaned back breathing hard. Jack quickly 
moved over to her gathering her into his arms. 

"Are you okay, are you hurt? The baby..." Panic rose in his voice, as his 
hand went to her still flat stomach. 

Sam exhaled deeply, and put on a smile, albeit a shaky one. "Yeah I'm 
fine...we're fine."

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all," Jack said, his chin 
resting atop her head. 

"It's okay. Really. I just hit a wet spot. I can manage it, Jack," Sam 
replied earnestly. 

Jack leaned back, searching her face. "Are ya sure? We could always bunk 
up in my quarters for the night."

"It'll be all right, Jack. I have driven in snow before. Trust me." 

Jack trusted her with his life, which is why he agreed. He repositioned 
himself right next to her this time, making sure both their seatbelts 
were fastened. He put his arm around her shoulders for moral support, as 
that was the only thing he *could* do at the moment. 

Sam took the truck out of park gear, and slowly inched out of the 
position they had landed in. She eased it forward carefully. At the edge 
of the road, she applied the brake lightly, not skidding this time, 
thankfully. She looked both ways and checked her mirrors twice; when she 
saw flashing orange lights off to the right in the distance. 

She smiled up into Jack's face. "When in doubt follow the plow." 

Jack laughed lightly as she pulled out behind the massive orange state 
snow plow truck. The salt the plow was throwing down was helping with 
traction, much to Jack's relief. 

His arm tightened defensively around Sam's shoulders as they went around 
a particularly nasty curve. He didn't say anything, not wanting to break 
her concentration. The drive, which usually only took a half an hour, was 
going on an hour. 

Sam's hands were white, gripping the wheel. The snow plow had turned off 
onto another highway about five miles back, leaving them to fend for 
themselves. The snow was getting heavier, and it was harder to see 
through. The wipers were going at the highest speed, which still didn't 
do much to clear the windshield. 

"Jack," Sam whispered urgently.

"It's okay sweetheart. Just take it slow. We're almost there," Jack 
whispered back. 

Sam decelerated down to a mere five miles an hour. 

They could hear the snow crunching under the tires. The wind was whipping 
around the vehicle, threatening to brush them off the road. Or what road 
there was left. It didn't look like there had been any traffic through 
here at all, or if there had been, the tracks had been long covered. The 
road seemed to stretch on forever. They rounded another bend in the road, 
and familiarity came into view. The end stretch was near. 

Sam increased the speed just a tad, anxious for this to be done and over 
with. Tiny beads of sweat had popped out over her brow. Her hands were 
losing their grip on the wheel. She just had a bit more to go and then 
they would be home free. Technically and literally. 

One of her hands slipped off the wheel, causing the vehicle to veer. 
Jack's hand grabbed for the wheel and held on, as Sam slowed the truck 
down in front of his driveway. Between the two of them they managed to 
get the vehicle turned into the driveway and parked. Sam's limp hand was 
laying in her lap, though her other hand was still tightly gripping the 
steering wheel. Her eyes were plastered straight ahead. //I cannot 
believe we made it!//

"Sam. Sam, sweetheart!" Jack pleaded trying to get her attention. 

"Huh...wha..?" She swung her head around to meet Jack's worried gaze. 

"Sam, are you okay. Sam, talk to me."

"I'm fine, or I will be once I get out of here." She smiled reassuringly, 
starting to feel claustrophobic. 

"Sounds good," he said as he dropped a quick kiss on her lips. 

Sam opened the door and jumped out. The snow was coming close to reaching 
the tops of her boots. She looked upward at the dull gray sky. There was 
no obvious break in the clouds, and she heard distant thunder. //Not 
good. Looks like we are in for one heck of a snow storm.//

                         *******************

Sam settled against Jack with a contented sigh. This was not at all how 
she had envisioned the day turning out this morning, far from it in fact. 
His arms wrapped around her tightly and she settled her head on his 
chest, basking in the warmth of the open fire.

She closed her eyes. She had finally managed to get over the shakes from 
that horrible drive to Jack's. Once they had managed to get inside, Jack 
had held her for what felt like hours, soothing her frayed nerves with 
gentle words. Once she had sufficiently calmed down, she set about making 
their dinner.

Jack had been busy while she had been preparing dinner. Walking back into 
the living room with their plates Sam found it very difficult not to drop 
the plates and throw herself into his arms. He had lit a fire, and turned 
off the lights, scattering candles around the room instead. A woolen 
blanket was stretched out in front of the fireplace; Jack was sitting on 
it waiting for her, a smile lighting his face.

They ate their dinner in companionable silence, and Sam quickly tidied 
the dishes and hurried back to snuggle with Jack. If there was a heaven 
this was what she wanted it to be.

His lips brushed lovingly across her forehead, filling her with a warmth 
that she hadn't felt for the two months they had been apart. Why had she 
been so stupid to enforce their separation in the first place? They 
should never been apart, they should have found some way to be together. 
She was thankful that they had now.

She twisted in his arms enough to look up at him, the father of her baby. 
He looked so happy and content as he met her eyes and smiled languidly. 
She could tell by the look on his face that he felt like he was the 
luckiest man on the planet. After the rotten luck he'd had in his 
personal life, maybe he was.

Sam certainly felt like the luckiest woman on the planet. It was all so 
unexpected, but it filled her with a happiness that she had never 
experience before. This was what love felt like, the love of a man and 
her unborn child. She felt like she must be glowing.

Jack's hand drifted down to rest gently on her belly. The baby was 
nowhere near developed enough to feel yet, but the gesture was paternal 
and immensely comforting.

"I want you to move in, Sam. As soon as the storm breaks I want us to 
move your things here."

Sam's jaw dropped in surprise. It was the last thing she had expected to 
him to say to her, and deep down it was something she had desired the 
most since she had found out she was pregnant. She just hadn't expected 
it to happen so quickly.

She was speechless, utterly and completely lost for words. It was the 
perfect way to end the day, knowing that her baby, their baby, was going 
to have a stable home and two parents that loved it.

"Is this moving too quickly for you, Sam? Do you want some time to think 
about it?" He had obviously taken her silence as uncertainty.

"No," she replies breathlessly. "I don't need to think about it. Of 
course I will, Jack!"

Jack's face lit up like the Fourth of July. Sam had made him the happiest 
man on earth for the second time that day. His day was complete now that 
she had agreed to move in. This was going to be a new chapter in their 
lives. And it was only the beginning.

Jack swayed closer to her, leaning down to capture her lips with his own. 
And he came home. It had taken them five years to get to this point. And 
he fully intended to spend the rest of his life enjoying it. He leaned 
forward, using his body to press her closer to the floor as his mouth 
plundered hers.

Sam wrapped her arms around his neck as he gently placed his weight over 
her. The heat of the fire placing a warm glow on her face. Her eyes 
sparkled. She smiled up at the man that loved her, body and soul. His 
lips descended again, making her world spiral out from under her. 
Sensations were coursing through her body.

Her hands drifted from Jack's neck to his waist, pulling his shirt from 
his pants. Her hands went under his shirt, making contact with the skin 
of his back. She needed to feel more. But she didn't want him to stop 
kissing her. She moaned as his lips kissed their way down her jaw and 
onto her neck. His hand came up loosening the buttons on her shirt. When 
he had her shirt gaping open, he lifted up and looked at her; desire and 
love lighting his eyes.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked, his voice heavy with 
emotion, as he pulled off his shirt.

Sam nodded as a tear slipped down her face. She did know. She reached her 
arms up to him, wanting the feel of him near her again.

His eyes went to her flat stomach. His drew close and laid his head 
against it, still not believing his baby was growing inside. He turned 
his head and kissed her belly, cherishing her. Sam's hand came to cradle 
his head closer to her, relishing in the feel of his tender 
ministrations.

                         *******************

Sam awoke and turned over leisurely to face Jack's side of the bed. It 
was empty and cold. She tried to remain calm and not jump to conclusions, 
when she saw a slip of paper lying on his pillow. She read the note, 
slowly coming out of the haziness of sleep. 


Sam-

Went to run a few errands. Be back soon. 

Love You

Jack xoxoxx 


Sam smiled as she realized Jack must have let her sleep late. She had 
been catching up on lost and much needed sleep this past week. //Among 
other things,// she thought with a sated grin.

She stretched languorously, not wanting to get out of the nice warm bed. 
She turned her head and looked at the clock on the nightstand. //Wow! It 
would be lunch soon. I really did sleep late!//

She sat up in bed and looked at the note again. She was getting curious 
now. What could possibly be so important that Jack would want to go out 
in the dreadful weather? Especially when he was on medical leave? He was 
still having problems with his knee, so it couldn't be easy for him to 
drive. //I hope he doesn't hurt himself again.// Now she was a bit 
worried.

Sam rose out of bed, having the need to keep busy until Jack got back 
home. 

Home.

That had a whole new meaning now. It just wasn't something physical 
anymore. It meant so much more. Wherever Jack was, was home. They could 
be in the middle of an ice covered desert and she would still be home, as 
long as Jack was with her.

She quickly dressed and moved into the kitchen to find something to eat. 
Her stomach was grumbling and she had to remind herself that she was 
eating for two now. She rummaged through Jack's cabinets trying to find 
something to fix for lunch. She would have a wonderful meal waiting for 
Jack when he got home. That is if she could manage not to burn it like 
she did last night. Jack ate all of it though. He didn't complain once. 
He is such a sweetheart.

Putting a pan of water on to boil, she grabbed some crackers out of a tin 
to munch on. She stared out the kitchen window, thinking. //Is this how 
our life was going to be,// she thought smiling. //Because if it is, I 
could get real used to it.//

She looked around at the kitchen, noticing that it needed to be 
brightened up a bit. Jack had said that she could do whatever she wanted 
in the house, as long as she left his hockey trophies and stuff alone. 
She had laughingly agreed.

Sam found some pasta and sauce in a cabinet. She set the pasta to a slow 
boil, and went about exploring Jack's house...their house. Wanting to 
familiarize herself with the place, she went from room to room, intrigued 
by nearly everything she found. She was seeing a whole new light of Jack. 
She came to the living room, amazed at all of the hockey memorabilia 
arranged around the room. She'd never noticed it all before now. 

Sam came and stood in front of the fireplace and looked up at the mantle. 
Mostly just trophies adorned it, but there were a couple of photos. One 
was of Jack's Air Force Academy graduation picture. She smiled at how 
young he looked in it. He had an air of confidence and cockiness...and 
innocence.

The next photo looked to be just a few years later, of Jack and some Air 
Force buddies in some tropical climate. Jack looked happy and carefree. A 
wave of sadness overcame Sam as she thought about it. This must have been 
before all the terrible things happened to him. Before all of his special 
ops missions that hardened his heart. Before he was captured as a POW in 
Iraq. Before his son died. 

It hurt Sam to know how much Jack had been forced to endure in his life. 
She knew at one point Jack had even lost the will to live. That was why 
he had taken the "suicide mission" to Abydos in the first place.

Sam wanted to make him truly happy again. And in her heart she knew that 
their baby was going to do that. She wanted to see Jack smile more. To 
hear him laugh more. 

She continued on through the house again, stopping occasionally in 
various rooms when she saw something of interest. She found herself 
standing in front of a closed door in the middle of the house. She turned 
the knob but it was locked. //That's odd. I wonder why it's locked.// 
Dismissing it as unimportant for the moment, she made her way into their 
bedroom.

The décor of the room had a masculine feel to it, which she was coming to 
like. She wasn't too frilly herself, so she thought to leave it just the 
way it was. Her eyes wandered the room and rested on Jack's closet. She 
didn't want him to think her a pilferer, but she was moving in after all. 
She smiled as her curiosity got the best of her. 

She walked over to the closet and slid open the door. She was shocked at 
how many articles of clothing resided there. She had never figured Jack 
O'Neill to be a clothes person, considering he spent half his time in 
BDUs or uniform. Sam ran her hands through the clothing on the hangers, 
when she came to a certain sweater.

It was the coal gray sweater she had gotten two years ago for Christmas. 
It was looking quite threadbare, meaning he must wear it a lot. The 
thought made her go heart pound. How many times had he thought of me when 
wearing it? She grinned again.

Sam took the sweater off the hanger and held it against her. She inhaled 
and the rich musky scent of Jack's cologne assailed her senses. Suddenly 
feeling cold and the need to be near Jack, she slipped the sweater over 
her head, cocooning herself in its warmth.

Worry overcame Sam again as she realized the lateness of the day. It was 
getting dark outside, and Jack still wasn't home. She was really starting 
to get worried, especially when she saw his crutches leaning against his 
dresser. She just wanted to crash on the sofa or go back to bed until he 
got home, though the need to keep busy won out.

She looked deeper into his closet and discovered a cardboard box pushed 
to the back. She was anxious to learn more about Jack, so she pulled the 
box out and carried it to the bed, settling it and herself in the center 
of the bed. She opened the box and began filing through its contents. 

There were a lot of old financial papers and some old school 
certificates. She found an old yearbook and flipped through the pages 
until she found Jack's picture. She laughed out loud at the expression on 
his face. If she thought Jack was impatient now, he seemed even more 
impatient at eighteen. He had the familiar I-don't-want-to-be-here-hurry-
up-and-get-this-over-with look. The one she knew and loved so well.

Her eyes slid to the text beside his picture, indicating the various 
clubs and activities he was involved in. ROTC; that was no surprise. 
Center Forward of the Hockey team was no shocker either. What did jump 
out at her was the next entry that nearly made her fall off the bed. 
Science Club.

She had always known he had a love for astronomy, but Science, 
was...well....different. There were so many different aspects to Science. 
One had to be extremely intellectual to get into the Science Club. Not 
that she was doubting Jack's intelligence, he was really smart. He had to 
be to get into Special Ops. But Science Club!? She was, to say the least, 
shocked, but pleasantly so.

Laughing to herself, she continued on through the box. More paper and 
souvenirs. Then she came to the bottom of the box and found a picture 
frame wrapped in newspaper. She pulled the paper away carefully unsure 
what she would find underneath. 

She gasped when she saw the smiling face looking back at her. 

Charlie. 

Jack's son. 

Why had he hidden it away? Had he forgotten about it? Surely not.

Suddenly a wonderful plan formed in Sam's head. Jack had done so much for 
her; she wanted to do something for him, however small it may be. 

Hopping off the bed she left the room, picture in hand, and purposely 
went to the living room. She had to do a little adjusting, but she got it 
right. She was sure Jack wouldn't mind. In fact she was hoping he would 
be thrilled. She stood back and viewed her handy work. 

There was Charlie's picture rightfully positioned between his father's 
graduation picture and the group shot. She smiled; just imagining how 
much Jack would love it. 

                         *******************

Jack strode down the street with a sense of purpose to his step, pausing 
occasionally to glance idly into the large windows as he passed them. 
Generally, he loathed shopping; only doing it when it was absolutely 
necessary. But today he walked with a spring in his step that was 
normally absent; he felt twenty years younger, he felt like he was on top 
of the world.

His knee was killing him with every step. He had left his crutches at 
home, unwilling to use them when he was shopping. It felt better than it 
did four days ago anyway. The brace remained on it, so he walked a little 
stiff-leggedly, but anything was better than crutches.

Spotting the shop he was looking for a little way up the street he 
quickened his pace, feeling a sense of nervous anticipation. He had been 
to three other shops and none of them had what he was looking for. He 
wanted to this to be perfect. It had to be perfect.

He stepped into the front entrance, kicking the snow off his boots before 
he stepped on the carpet. A sales assistant looked up as the door chime 
rang and smiled a warm greeting to him. Jack smiled in return, before he 
headed up to the case that stored the items he was searching for.

The contents of the display glittered almost blindingly under the lights 
of the shop. He cast his eyes over them hopefully, but nothing caught his 
attention. They were all beautiful, but they weren't good enough, they 
just weren't right.

He let out a small frustrated sigh and turned to leave. He thought he 
would find it here.

"Is there something I can help you with sir?" The sales assistant had 
appeared at the counter.

Jack glanced back at her. "No, I'm just looking thanks."

Silently, he left the shop, tugging his beanie down over his ears a 
little more to cut out the chilly wind. Doubt began to fill him. He had 
been so certain that he would find it today. Bleakly, he cast his gaze up 
and down the street.

Then he saw it. A grin slowly slid across his face as he felt hope 
blossom in his chest. This could be it. Across the street, a little way 
further up the road was a tiny little Antique shop.

Feeling a renewed sense of purpose he limped across the road and made his 
way over to the shop. Opening the door his senses were assaulted by the 
smell of wood oil. He relaxed; this had to be it.

He glanced around the small, dimly lit, shop and his attention was 
immediately drawn to the glass counter at the far end of the shop. He 
quickly crossed the showroom; his attention focused solely on the 
counter.

His eyes were immediately drawn to it, a slow smile spreading across his 
face as relief filled him. He'd found it, the object of his quest. It was 
perfect. It was exactly what he was searching for.

"Are you looking for something in particular?"

Jack pulled his eyes away from the counter to meet the eyes of the 
elderly sales woman. "Can I look at that please?" Jack asked politely, 
pointing down at the glass.

The lady smiled warmly as she unlocked the case and pulled it out, 
placing it on Jack's palm. "It's quite magnificent isn't it?"

It glinted lightly in the soft light as Jack picked it up between his 
thumb and forefinger and examined it closely. It was exactly what he was 
looking for. He could imagine Sam's face when he gave it to her, the 
sapphire in its center glittering the same cerulean blue as her eyes. The 
small diamonds offsetting it only served to accentuate the sapphire. It 
was small and delicate, but not overly feminine. It had Sam written all 
over it.

He placed the ring back on the counter, a goofy grin on his face as he 
looked as he met the old woman's eyes. "I'll take it."

The lady was smiling warmly as she found a box and put the ring in it. 
"She must be very special," she said conversationally as Jack handed her 
his credit card.

"Oh she is," Jack replied, his exuberance growing by the second. "She's 
the love of my life."

                         *******************

Sam felt a little thrill of excitement as she heard Jack's truck pull 
into the driveway. All her worry about his whereabouts faded away into 
the background. She hurried into the kitchen to check on the food. No 
doubt Jack would be famished.

The door opened, letting in a rush of ice cold air. She heard Jack 
quickly shut it and the thumps as he removed his boots and dropped them 
on the floor of the entranceway.

"Sam?"

"I'm in the kitchen, Jack," she called out in reply.

Hearing his footsteps behind her, she turned in time for him to slide her 
into his arms and pull her tightly against him. Leaning down he brushed a 
kiss across her lips. "Hey beautiful," he murmured into her neck. "Miss 
me?"

She pulled out of his arms and stirred the pot. She did not want to burn 
another meal! "No, I was actually hoping I'd get the house to myself 
tonight," she joked. "Where've you been?"

Jack laughed softly, stepping up behind her and wrapping his arms around 
her waist. "I just had a few little errands to run, nothing interesting," 
he plucked at the sweater she was wearing. "Raiding my wardrobe already, 
Carter? Are you sure you didn't miss me?" he asked knowingly.

Sam smiled. "You know me too well, Jack."

Her curiosity was piqued. //What had he been up to all day? A few little 
errands, what sort of errands?// She knew he would tell her eventually, 
but she wanted to know. Did it have anything to do with the locked room? 
She shrugged the thoughts off; there was no point worrying about it.

She could hear him inhaling deeply. "Hmm that smells good. What are we 
having?"

"Pasta," she replied. "Why don't you go and sit down, Jack. Your leg must 
be killing you." She had seen him grimacing when he took a step, even 
though he tried to hide it.

Jack pressed another kiss to her neck. "That doesn't sound like a bad 
idea," he said airily. 

The arms disappeared from her waist and she turned to watch him limp into 
the living room. His jovial mood was contagious. //What had gotten into 
him?// She shifted her attention back to the pot as she waited for the 
inevitable explosion.

"Sam?" his voice was quiet. Sam flinched as she rounded to face him. He 
was holding the picture in his hand, a mournful expression on his face. 
"What's this?"

"It's a photo of Charlie, Jack."

Instantly she realized that she shouldn't have responded with sarcasm, 
but it was too late to take it back. She tensed herself, uncertain how he 
would react. His expression hardened angrily. "I know that Sam. What's it 
doing on the mantle?"

His voice was icily cold. Sam swallowed deeply; she would have preferred 
it if he had yelled at her. "He's your son, Jack. Just because he's dead 
doesn't mean you should forget about him. I want our baby growing up 
knowing that it had a brother ... and that its brother will always be 
watching over it!"

Jack stared at her, dumbfounded, for a long moment. Silently, he walked 
out of the room, his shoulders drooping sadly. Sam placed the spoon she 
hadn't realized that she was holding down on the countertop and followed 
him into the living room.

He was standing at the hearth, the photo back up where she had put it. He 
didn't turn as she stepped up behind him. He was just staring at the 
photo.

"Jack?" she didn't touch him, wanting to give him some space. "If you 
don't want it up it doesn't have to be. I just thought it would be nice."

He took a deep breath and dragged his eyes from the photo. He met her 
eyes with his haunted ones. "It is nice, Sam. I just ... I wasn't 
expecting it. You're right, our baby should know about Charlie."

Sam closed the gap between them and slid her arms around him, tears 
welling in her eyes. She wasn't expecting him to hug her back, but what 
she didn't expect was for him to step away from her, to turn his back on 
her. "Jack?"

He avoided her eyes. She had never seen him look so pained and troubled 
as he did right now. "I need to be alone for a while." Without looking at 
her, he stepped around her and walked out of the room.

Sam hugged her arms around her body, tears slowly running down her 
cheeks. She had only put it up out of the best intentions; she had never 
expected him to react this way to it. Guiltily, she sat on in his 
favorite armchairs as sobs wracked her.

How was she going to fix this?

                         *******************

Jack tugged his jacket tighter around him as he tried to keep himself 
huddled from the icy night air. The clear winter nights were perfect for 
stargazing, but his telescope was sitting forgotten next to him. He 
wasn't out here to pursue his hobby tonight; he was out here trying to 
drive his sudden melancholy away.

Seeing his son's smiling face was hard. That was why he'd stored all of 
Charlie's things away. Seeing the picture only served to dredge up 
memories that he had fought so long to bury. It was his lament to being a 
failure as a father. He had failed Charlie ... and Sara.

He would have thought after nearly seven years that he would have been 
able to deal with it better, that he could have gotten over it somewhat. 
It was his refusal to deal with his death all those years ago that made 
it so difficult to cope every time he thought about it. If he dealt with 
it when Charlie had died it would have made it much easier. Instead he 
had hidden himself away, drinking himself into a stupor every day to try 
and make himself forget.

The small chance that he'd had to resolve it when Charlie had been 
replicated by the crystal entities had helped in some small part to heal 
the scar that Charlie's death had left on his heart. It gave him a small 
sense of closure; it helped him accept his son's death. It did not help 
him to forgive himself though.

Until last week he didn't think he would ever forgive himself, but this 
second chance, it changed things. It gave him a chance to make things 
right that he had screwed up in the past. Not to have those mistakes 
dredged up; not to be forced to confront them.

He jammed his hands into his pockets in an attempt to warm them. His 
fingers brushed across a small felt box in the corner of his pocket. He 
pulled it out and opened it. Sam's ring. Suddenly he felt guilty, very 
guilty.

He shouldn't have treated Sam like that. He saw the tears in her eyes, he 
knew he'd upset her. She had put the picture up out of the kindness of 
her heart and she had been right. Their baby did have the right to know 
about Charlie. What had he done? Thrown it back in her face.

//Crap! I'm such an ass!// He had to apologize to her. He had to show her 
that it wasn't her that he was angry with, that he wasn't angry.

Standing up, he hobbled down the ladder, grimacing at the pain that 
putting his weight on the knee caused. Settling himself back on the 
ground, he took a moment to wait for the pain to ease, wondering how he 
had gotten up there in the first place.

He limped back into the house, not even bothering to try and pretend that 
he wasn't. Walking into the living room, he was surprised when he noticed 
that Sam wasn't in there. Assuming that she had probably disappeared into 
the bedroom he made his way up the hallway.

There were unusual sounds coming from the bathroom. Stopping, he pressed 
his ear against the door. His heart clenched as he realized what the 
sound was. Sam was being sick. He wondered how she would react if he went 
in and rubbed her back. It was the least he could do for her.

Opening the door, he found Sam kneeling at the toilet, her head almost 
completely in the bowl. Stepping up to her, he squatted down behind, 
rubbing the small of her back gently. She gave a little jerk of surprise, 
before another wave of nausea overtook her and she was sick again.

"Ssh baby ... it's ok," he said soothingly as he continued to rub her 
back. "I'm so sorry, Sam."

She straightened up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, the bout 
of nausea passed. Her back was still to him, but he could feel the 
tenseness in the muscles of her back. He put his hands on her shoulders, 
turning her around to face him.

Sam's eyes were red and puffy; he had managed to upset her again. "I 
shouldn't have reacted the way I did Sam," he started, knowing that he 
had to explain his reaction to her. "I just ... It's still hard for me to 
look at a picture of Charlie and not be reminded of what happened to 
him."

She was studying his face; her eyes told him that she was eager for him 
to open up to her. That she was willing to listen if he wanted to talk to 
her. It was strange; he had never had that before, someone to talk to, 
someone who would just listen as he let it all out. After Sara, there 
really hadn't been anyone left that he had felt comfortable enough around 
to talk to about it.

Until now. Now he had Sam. She knew a little bit about his past. She knew 
why he had taken the first Abydos mission, but he had never openly talked 
about Charlie to anybody let alone Sam.

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to, Jack," Sam 
whispered quietly.

"I do though, Sam," he said, reaching out and touching her arm. "You 
deserve to know what happened ... why it's so difficult for me to deal 
with seeing a picture of him."

She forced a smile and walked over to the sink, quickly brushing her 
teeth. "Jack, you know that I'll be here for you whenever you want to 
talk. You don't have to do it now."

Brushing past him, she walked out of the bathroom. He quickly followed 
her, certain that she was angry and upset with him. He found her sitting 
in his favorite armchair, looking at the photo of Charlie. "How old was 
he when this photo was taken, Jack?" she asked without looking at him.

Jack glanced at the picture. It still hurt to look at it. "It was taken a 
month before he died. School photos, he really didn't want to have his 
picture taken. Guess he was just like me when it came to getting his 
photo taken."

Sam's attention left the photo then, to meet his eyes, her eyes wide with 
surprise. "So this photo was ..."

"Was the last one taken of Charlie before he died?" Jack finished for 
her, his voice choked with emotion as he remembered back to when the 
photo was taken. "Yeah, it was."

"Oh." Her eyes drifted back to the photo, looking pained. "I'm sorry, 
Jack. I didn't know."

He crossed the room quickly and perched on the arm of the chair. 
Tenderly, he tilted her face up to look at him. "Don't you dare 
apologize, Sam," he said, his voice gruff. He quickly softened his tone. 
"I was an ass. Of course you didn't know, because I never talk about 
Charlie, but you were right Sam. Our child will know about Charlie ... 
and his photo should have always been up there instead of tucked away 
forgotten in some box." 

She blinked, a tear sliding down her cheek. Her mouth opened and quickly 
snapped shut again. He cupped her face, wiping the tears away with his 
thumb. "I'm scared, Sam," he admitted. "I'm scared that something is 
going to happen to this baby too and ... well ... it'll be the end of me 
Sam, if I lose you and the baby like I did Charlie and Sara."

Sam's eyes met his, and he could see the love and devotion in them. 
"You'll never lose me Jack, or our child," she replied vehemently, her 
voice filled with a quiet passion that warmed Jack's heart.

Jack pulled her into his arms, relieved when she buried her face into his 
chest as she cried silently. It was a battle for him to control his 
emotions, to try and not let them out. He never cried when Charlie died, 
he wasn't about to now either, he had to be strong for Sam.

A solitary, rebellious tear escaped his closed eyes as he sought to 
forget the day that photo was taken. A month before his life had changed 
forever, yet if that moment had never occurred he would never have ended 
up where his was now, his arms entwined tightly around the woman that he 
truly loved.

                         *******************

Sam was busy doing laundry when she heard the phone ring from the living 
room. She turned back to her job at hand, certain that Jack would answer 
it. 

"Jack, can you get that? I'm busy," she called out to him after the fifth 
ring. 

The phone rang four more times, so she closed the lid to the washer and 
rushed out of the utility room. The phone continued to ring, and there 
was no sign of Jack. In fact she had seen little of him in the past 
couple of days, especially after she had set out Charlie's picture. She 
didn't think he was still mad at her about it, but she had been known to 
be wrong before.

She snatched the phone up and hastily placed it to her ear. 

"Hello?"

"Hello, Sam? Are you okay?" Janet's voice asked on the other end. 

"Yeah I'm fine," Sam winced. //But am I really?//

"I was just calling to see if you wanted to go shopping with Cassie and 
me. Cassie wants some new clothes for school, and I can always use a new 
outfit," Janet suggested perkily. 

"I don't know, Janet. I have some things to do and..." Sam drifted off as 
Janet jumped in again. 

"Come on, Sam. It'll be fun. And we can even do some baby shopping. I 
know this cute little shop in the mall that you will just love." Sam 
smiled at Janet's exuberance.

"I have been cooped up all week. I guess I could blame it on doctor's 
orders."

"Exactly! I do order it! See it will make you feel better to get out and 
get some fresh air."

"Okay. So when do you want to do this?" Sam asked glancing at the clock 
on the mantle. 

"Can you be ready in say...thirty minutes?" Janet asked.

"Sure, I just need to change clothes is all," Sam responded. 

"Good we'll be there. See ya then."

"Okay. Bye."

Sam hung up the phone and went back to the laundry room and pulled the 
dry clothes from the dryer. She carried them to the bedroom and sorted 
through them, looking for something to wear. Her wardrobe was limited 
since they hadn't gone to her house to get her things yet. She found a 
pair of jeans in the bottom of the basket and one of Jack's pullovers. 
//I like wearing his clothes,// she thought smiling.

She discarded of the clothes she was wearing and sat down on the bed in 
her undergarments, feeling lightheaded and sick to her stomach. She 
jumped up just as quickly and dashed to the bathroom. She lost the 
contents of her stomach and then some. She hung her head over the toilet 
until she could manage enough strength in her legs to stand up. When she 
did, she shakily made her way to the sink and splashed water on her face. 
She looked at her pale reflection in the mirror. //Morning sickness, too! 
Great! Just what I need.//

After she was feeling less nauseous, she walked back into the bedroom and 
set to dressing herself. She pulled her jeans up and over her hips, but 
when she went to zip them up, they were quite tight. //Now my clothes 
too!?// She lay back on the bed and finally succeeded in getting them 
zipped up. //Well looks like I will have to do some shopping today after 
all.//

                         *******************

Jack straightened up from the paint tray, his back aching. He had 
forgotten how difficult decorating a room was. He was exhausted, but 
finally it was nearly finished. They were down to the last coat, and most 
of the new furniture was assembled.

He sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his arms. It was 
unbelievable how hot a room could get in the middle of winter. Of course, 
the door was closed and there was three men working in the room. //Ack!// 
He quickly tugged off his t-shirt and used it to mop the sweat off his 
face. //That's much better.//

Dipping the roller he straightened and started rolling the fresh paint on 
the wall. Little flecks of paint splattered off the wall, coating his 
chest in little droplets of paint. //At least it's better than cooking to 
death,// he thought.

He heard a short laugh behind him and whirled around. Daniel was standing 
looking at him, sweat pouring down his face. "That's not a bad idea 
Jack." He quickly removed his own shirt too, and then turned back to the 
crib that he had half assembled.

Jack shot a look in Teal'c's direction. "Don't you dare, Teal'c. I don't 
want junior poking his nose out!"

Teal'c was finishing the trim on the doorframe. After much deliberation, 
Jack had finally drilled it into Teal'c's head as to the point of trim 
painting. He still didn't fully comprehend why they were totally 
renovating the room.

Jack turned his attention back to the nearly finished wall. He was so 
jealous. Teal'c hadn't even broken a sweat, and here he was nearly 
drowning in his own perspiration. Even being shirtless didn't help 
cooling him down much.

Jack swore that if he heard Daniel drop that hammer one more time, he was 
going to lay him out with his paint roller. And it was not going to be a 
pretty sight. He knew Daniel wasn't mechanically inclined, but this was 
ridiculous. How he had managed to get that much of the crib assembled was 
a mystery.

Jack walked over to the window and opened it wider. Ventilation in the 
room wasn't the best. The paint fumes combined with the racket Daniel was 
making was giving him a pounding headache. He didn't want to open the 
door to the rest of the house in case Sam came home early. This was one 
surprise he didn't want ruined.

He hoped she was having a good time shopping. He had called Janet early 
that morning to ask for her assistance in getting Sam out of the house 
for a while. A long while he hoped, he wanted to have the room finished 
and dinner ready for her when she got home. He had then acquired the help 
of his friends to go pick up the baby furniture and the many paint cans 
required to accomplish the job of totally refurbishing the spare bedroom.

He glanced down at his watch, and nervous little butterflies began to 
flutter in his stomach. They only had two hours left before she was 
expected back. It wasn't enough time. They still had one more wall to 
finish and the rest of the furniture to put together. He wracked his 
brain trying to think of some way he could get them to stay out just a 
little bit longer.

"Hey Danny, I hope you're better at painting than at putting together 
stuff, because you've just been reassigned."

Daniel breathed out an audible sigh of relief and took the roller from 
Jack. Jack looked at the scattered nuts and bolts on the floor and 
exhaled deeply. He shook his head as Daniel smiled sheepishly. He 
definitely needed to buy them some more time. 

He smiled as an idea struck him. Movies, they could go and see a movie. 
That'd give them another couple of hours to finish up.

"Daniel, call Janet!" Jack tossed his cell phone to Daniel as he crashed 
on the floor amid the mess of furniture pieces.

Daniel turned to look at him; he was already covered in paint. "Why?"

"Because I said so!"

"What am I your slave?" Daniel muttered under his breath, but it was 
still loud enough to hear in the confines of the small room.

"Today you are," Jack snapped back, feigning irritation. "We need more 
time to finish up, tell Janet to take Sam and Cassie to a movie."

"You know you could have asked nicely," Daniel muttered with a slight 
pout to his tone.

"You don't get things done when you're nice. Just ask my drill sergeant." 
Jack threw back at him. If he didn't know any better he would have swore 
Daniel stuck his tongue out at him. //Oh that's just great! What am I a 
baby sitter now?!!//

Snickering to himself he turned back to the crib. //Where the hell are 
the instructions?// Behind him he could hear Daniel talking quietly to 
Janet. He searched around the crib for the instructions but couldn't find 
it anywhere. Finally, he spied a wad of paper screwed up in the far 
corner of the room.

He picked it up and unraveled it. "Damn it Danny, you call yourself a 
scientist?" he moaned, holding the mutilated instruction sheet up for 
Daniel to see.

The younger man blushed and shrugged, quickly resuming his conversation. 
Jack made his way back to the crib and sat down again, divesting the 
contents of the instructions. After several minutes of turning the paper 
this way and that, he returned it to its previously crumpled state. If he 
didn't know any better those instructions were written in the language of 
the Ancients or something. ACK!!!!

Instead he tried a new angle, using his common sense. //How difficult can 
it be to build a crib?//

Half an hour later he had hardly made any progress. He threw the 
screwdriver down with a curse and stalked out of the room. The sweat was 
pouring off him now, from a combination of stress and the heat of the 
small room. He could feel it running down his back, down his chest, the 
little rivulets tickling as they rolled down his bare flesh.

Needing to clear his head he walked into the bathroom. He turned on the 
cold water over the sink and stuck his head under it, enjoying the 
breathless feeling that the cold water caused. He quickly rubbed his 
hands over his face and head, wishing that he could jump in the shower. 

He couldn't, he had to get the room done. Reluctantly he turned the tap 
off and straightened up, shivering as the icy cold water ran down his 
bare chest. It felt so good. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror 
and was startled to see how much paint he had managed to get on himself. 
All this trouble for a little life that won't even be born for another 
seven months.

The thought made him smile. The thought made the effort worth it, more 
than worth it. He could imagine the look on Sam's face when he showed her 
the room tonight. //Oh, this was going to be so great!//

Taking a detour through the kitchen he snagged a couple of beers and a 
bottle of water for Teal'c before going back into the room. Daniel and 
Teal'c both looked up at him curiously when he walked in. He was 
pleasantly surprised to see Teal'c working on the crib. He nearly had it 
finished.

He grinned, handing Daniel a beer and Teal'c the bottle of water. 
"Teal'c, I never would've thought you'd have carpentry in you."

Teal'c stood, taking the bottle from Jack's hand. "It is not carpentry, 
O'Neill. I simply followed the instructions as they were set out."

//Killjoy.// He couldn't help smiling. "Of course you did," he muttered, 
uncapping the bottle and taking a long draught of his beer. 

"Okay boys, we have two hours left."

Daniel sighed tiredly. "Why does this have to be finished today Jack, the 
baby's not due for another seven months!"

"It just has to." Jack said looking away.

"We could work on it tomorrow you know. Or even this weekend," Daniel 
suggested.

"No," Jack said abruptly. "It has to be finished today."

"But why?" Daniel moaned, sounding every bit like an impertinent child. 

Jack knew Daniel wasn't going to let up until he got a straight answer, 
he could tell by the petulant look on the younger mans face. "Because..."

//Great! So much for my surprise!//

"Because I'm going to propose to Sam tonight and I want this to be done," 
Jack said in a rush of words.

"Propose? You mean ... to be married?" Daniel asked somewhat shocked.

"Well that's usually the way it goes, Danny-Boy," Jack answered with a 
smirk. "What, you didn't think I would?"

"Well, yeah. I just ... not this soon." Daniel's voice trailed off before 
he could stick his foot any further in his mouth.

"Why not? Not like there is anything stopping me now," Jack said as he 
took a swig of his beer.

"I am pleased for you, O'Neill. I wish you and Major Carter all the best 
with your forthcoming marriage and child." Teal'c bowed his head slightly 
in a gesture of congratulations.

"Why thank you Teal'c. Glad to know *someone* is happy about this." Jack 
feigned mock hurtfulness.

"That explains so much," Daniel murmured quietly before he practically 
leapt across the room, an excited grin lighting his youthful face. He 
pulled Jack into a bear hug. "That's so great Jack!"

Jack cleared his throat, pushing Daniel away. "Come on Danny, don't go 
doing that when we're not wearing shirts, people might get the wrong 
idea!"

"Oh ... uh ... sorry." Daniel managed to blush.

Jack laughed and clapped Daniel on the shoulder, leaving a red hand-print 
on his bare shoulder. "How about we get this finished, boys?"

"Sure thing, Jack. Don't worry, we won't let you down," Daniel said with 
a new wave of enthusiasm. "Why don't you go and wash up and start 
preparing your dinner. We can handle everything else."

Jack looked at Daniel skeptically. He had faith in Daniel's capabilities 
most of the time, but having seen his earlier fiasco with the crib, he 
wasn't so sure this time. But Daniel was right, he had to get dinner on 
soon, he had to have it ready before Sam got home or the surprise would 
be ruined.

He nodded his agreement. "Okay, but if you need any help, call me?"

"Of course, Jack," Daniel replied, picking up the roller and resuming his 
painting.

Smiling, Jack headed back to the bathroom, grabbing a clean towel on the 
way through from the linen cupboard. He couldn't believe how much he was 
looking forward to stepping into the shower and washing all the grime 
away.

Jack turned on the knobs in the shower as he stripped the rest of the 
way. He discarded his knee brace as well. Looking at himself in the 
mirror, it looked like he got more paint than the wall did. He even had 
it in his hair. He looked like one of those punk rockers on MTV, with 
bright yellow hair. Laughing at himself, he stepped into the shower. The 
warm spray soothed his screaming muscles. The water sluiced down his 
body.

His knee nearly buckled as he turned his back to the water. He quickly 
grabbed the towel bar, managing to steady himself. //Easy Jack. Don't go 
hurting yourself. Again.// He pulled the bar of soap off the soap dish 
and set to washing the paint and griminess off his body. He rubbed the 
sporty smelling soap over his arms and chest, making suds and bubbles 
roll off his skin.

The paint wasn't coming off. He scrubbed the long patch on his chest 
again. Still no luck. //Ack!! I thought it was water-based!// He took the 
back-scrubber off the shower wall and tried that. When that didn't work, 
he threw it against the wall of the shower; however it ricocheted and hit 
him in the stomach.

//So much for getting rid of the evidence,// he thought. //Well at least 
I'll smell good.//

Jack knew he could hide the paint on his body fairly well. His hair 
though would be a problem. He took the shampoo bottle off the ledge and 
filled his hand overflowing with it. He applied it to his hair, 
scrubbing, and hoping against hope that it came out. The shampoo stung 
his eyes, but he didn't care. He had to get the paint out. When he felt 
he had it sufficiently clean, he rinsed off. Just in time too, as the 
warm water was quickly turning to cold.

He was able to get out of the shower without falling on his face. An 
accomplishment in itself, as his was quivering with pain. Jack wrapped 
the towel around his waist and picked his brace up off the floor. He left 
the clothes where they lay, his mind on other things at the moment.

He limped into the bedroom, and collapsed on the bed. Just long enough 
for him to gain control of his knee. He ran his plans through his mind, 
playing out scenario after scenario until one seemed right. He still 
wasn't exactly sure how he was going to ask Sam to marry him. Sure he was 
going to; he just wanted it to be perfect.

After his conscience urged him off the bed and to get dressed. Wouldn't 
do to have Sam come home to find him sprawled on the bed in nothing but a 
towel. He smiled wickedly. //Not that that would be a bad thing either, 
though.// Of course then she would find Daniel and Teal'c in the baby's 
room. And the surprise would be ruined.

                         *******************

Sam was glad Janet had talked her into going shopping. She was having a 
really good time. After encouragement from both Janet and Cassie she had 
decided to get herself a new wardrobe, considering she was already having 
problems with her clothes fitting. 

Surprisingly Cassie had rushed through her own clothes shopping, so she 
could help Sam pick out new outfits. 

Cassie's face was beaming when Sam came out of the dressing room to show 
off the third outfit that Cass had picked out so far. Sam wasn't too much 
for cutesy stuff, but she really like this outfit. It was a light sage 
green overalls with a small emblem of Winnie the Pooh on the bib pocket. 
Matched up with a white t-shirt, it made for an adorable outfit.

"Oh Sam you look so cute! I love it. You should get it," Cassie exclaimed 
excitedly. 

"I like it too. I think I will get it," Sam grinned back.

Sam laughed as Janet rounded the corner of the dressing room, bearing 
another armful of clothing.

"Look what I found," Janet said holding out the articles of clothing.

"Janet! I can't wear that! I'm pregnant!" Sam could barely stop laughing. 

"Why not? Pregnant women can be sexy too, you know!" Janet held the 
garment out, urging Sam to take it. 

Sam's hand extended hesitantly and took hold of the skimpy, red lingerie. 
She heard Cassie giggling beside her. She laughed herself as she saw the 
mischievous gleam in Janet's eyes. Sam turned and went back into the 
dressing room.

She blushed furiously once she had slipped into it. She wasn't one for 
fancy lingerie, and it felt unusual to be wearing something so delicate 
and lacy. Glancing in the mirror the first thought that popped into her 
mind was how Jack would react to her wearing this. The thought was more 
than enough motivation to purchase it.

Removing the sheer garment, she put on her original clothes and exited 
the dressing room again. Janet was on her cell phone talking softly. She 
assumed it was Daniel she was talking to, by the tone of her voice. When 
she saw Sam watching she ended the conversation abruptly, albeit 
lovingly. 

"Hey, Sam, do you want to catch a movie?" Janet suggested.

"Oh I do! That new Brad Pitt movie is out now. He is so hot! Can we Mom?" 
Cassie piped up. 

"I'm game if Sam is," Janet told her daughter.

Cassie put on her best puppy-dog face, learned from none only but Jack 
O'Neill, and proceeded to plead her case. "Please Sam can we? Please?" 

Sam could never refuse Cassie anything. She always gave into whatever 
Cassie's heart desired and today was no different. "Sure, Cass. Whatever 
you want."

Cassie rushed to Sam and gave her a hug. She pulled back with a smile. "I 
soooooooooo love you!"

Sam laughed. She's been hanging around Jack too long. They all gathered 
the shopping bags and made their way to the cashier counter to pay for 
their recent choices. 

That one comment of Cassie's echoed through her head, causing her to 
think. //Did Jack realize how much he has impacted people's lives?// Not 
just hers, but everyone he met, he had an effect on. She then wondered 
why it took them this long to get to where they were now. Why did they 
have to wait so long? She was so happy now. Of course they would have 
their disagreements, like all couples. But overall, this was a dream come 
true for her. A dream she had never thought she would get the chance to 
live. She realized then how lucky she truly was.

                         *******************

Sam eyed the house curiously as Janet pulled her car up outside. It was 
dark, there didn't seem to be any lights on, yet Jack's car was parked in 
the driveway.

"You have a key don't you, Sam?" Janet asked, her eyes flickering to the 
seemingly empty house.

Sam was already searching her bag, looking for her elusive key ring. 
Pulling it out, she found the correct key. "Sure do!" she replied with a 
somewhat forced grin.

She couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. Where was he? She had 
been dying to show him the things she had bought for the baby. She 
guessed there would always be time for it later, but ... well ... she had 
missed being around him today, and the last couple of days.

"Do you need help with your bags?"

Sam met Janet's eyes with a tired smile. "No, I think I can manage, 
thanks Janet." Opening the door, she hastily leaned over and gave Janet a 
quick hug. "Thanks for the shopping; it was just what I needed."

"Anytime Sam."

Gathering her coat around her she hopped out of the car and hastily took 
her bags out of the trunk. Saying a quick farewell to Janet and Cassie, 
she hurried up the footpath desperate to get inside and out of the cold 
evening air.

The door was pulled open as she reached out to slide her key in the lock, 
and she jumped back, startled. Jack's head peeked around the door. "Hey 
you," he said with a grin.

"Hey yourself," she replied, stepping quickly into the house and letting 
him close the door behind her. She could smell food cooking, which made 
her stomach growl hungrily.

She felt him take the bags out of her hands and put them down next to the 
door. She glanced around the darkened entranceway. //Are we having a 
power outage?//

The words were on her tongue as Jack turned her to face him and pulled 
her into his arms. He smelled good, like he was freshly washed. She 
closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck. It was then she 
noticed the unusual glint in his hair.

Reaching up, she could feel something slightly matted in his hair. "Jack, 
what's in your hair?"

He laughed lightly, drawing away from her but taking her hand in his. "No 
questions, Sam," he murmured, pulling her after him into the dining room.

Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the room and the 
immaculate table setting. Jack had gone to a lot of trouble, for her. 
There were no lights on in the room, except for the candles that 
surrounded the room and the flower and candle arrangement that sat in the 
center of the table. A bottle of wine sat chilling next to the table, 
which had been set with what she was sure was Jack's best silverware.

She looked up and caught the look in Jack's eyes, and her heart stopped. 
She was about to ask him what the occasion was when she noticed what he 
was wearing. All thought fled her. He looked good, good enough to eat 
good. He was dressed in a pair of black slacks, not too tight, but tight 
enough, and a dark blue shirt.

His eyes shone happily in the dim candlelight as he placed a hand on the 
small of her back and guided her to the table. She sat down and he pushed 
her seat in and set about filling her glass. She almost giggled when she 
saw it was sparkling grape juice and not wine, the man thought of 
everything.

Sam was still speechless, and at a complete loss to explain what was 
going on, but she had a feeling this was going to be a night to remember 
for some reason. She glanced around the room again in disbelief, her eyes 
gradually drifting back to Jack. He was leaning over her.

"I hope you're hungry," he murmured, leaning closer to brush his lips 
across hers.

"Famished," she croaked, finally finding her voice.

She felt like she was seeing him for the first time. Had Jack always been 
this sweet and romantic? The evening felt like it had an almost surreal 
quality to it, but she knew she wasn't dreaming. Her heart was thudding 
dully in her chest; she was breathless with anticipation as she watched 
him walk into the kitchen.

Jack reappeared moments later with a tray containing two steaming bowls 
and a plate of bread rolls. Sam closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as he 
placed the bowl in front of her. Minestrone soup, her favourite. Opening 
her eyes she looked up at him to find he was beaming down at her, his 
eyes portraying his feelings.

Right then and there she decided she wanted to spend the rest of her life 
with this man. This was the man she wanted to marry. One problem was; she 
didn't think that Jack ever wanted to get married again after what 
happened with his first marriage. Sure he would be in a serious 
relationship, but marriage? She had to figure out a way to get him to 
consider marriage again. She knew he would never leave her, or their 
child now, she just wanted to have that security, the knowledge that they 
would be together forever.

She could feel his eyes on her as they ate, watching her intensely. He 
seemed nervous tonight, though she could tell he was trying hard not to 
let it show. //What does he have up his sleeve?// She knew he had 
something planned. She just didn't know what at the moment. She met his 
eyes, smiling sweetly at him, wondering how it was possible to love one 
person so much.

Jack gathered their bowls after they had finished the soup, forcing her 
to stay in her seat as he moved back into the kitchen. As she sat there, 
listening to him banging and clattering about in the kitchen, she 
searched her mind trying to work out the reason that Jack might be going 
to so much trouble for her.

The only thing she kept on coming back to was the incident with Charlie's 
picture. Did he still feel guilty about the way he had reacted? Did he 
finally want to open up and tell her about Charlie and Sara?

She dismissed the thought quickly; Jack wouldn't go to this much trouble 
and pretense to tell her. It had to be something else, something deeper 
and closer to the heart. For the life of her, she couldn't think of what 
it might be.

Jack reappeared in the dining room, the tray containing two dinner plates 
this time. The smells of dinner wafted over to her. She had never thought 
that Jack was such a wonder in the kitchen. The meal smelled amazing, and 
when she took her first mouthful of the meal she wasn't disappointed. 
Broiled chicken and linguine. How much more was Jack going to continue to 
amaze her tonight?

It took her no time to clear her plate, she had been hungrier than she 
thought and Jack's delicious cooking made it no chore to scoff down. Her 
belly full, she suddenly felt exhausted. The shopping trip had taken a 
lot out of her. She felt like curling up on the couch in front of the TV 
and vegging out.

Jack appeared at her elbow, grinning down at her. Leaning down he took 
her hand gently in his and helped pull her out of her seat. "I have 
something to show you." He turned her around and wrapped a silky scarf 
around her eyes.

"Jack? What's going on?"

"It's a surprise," he whispered softly into her ear, the sensation making 
her go all tingly. Taking her hand again and pulling her after him. 

She bit back the sudden apprehension she felt at being plunged into total 
darkness again and allowed herself to be pulled behind him. Straining her 
ears she tried to gain a sense of where he was leading her. Not to the 
living room, the wooden floors would have been a dead giveaway. So he was 
leading her down the hallway.

The rattle of keys was unmistakable, as was the sound of a key being slid 
into a lock. //The spare room?// The anticipation was just about driving 
her insane. She could hear the door creak open and she was pulled behind 
him, the smell of fresh paint assaulting her nostrils.

She could feel his hands fumbling at the scarf, and suddenly it was 
pulled away. She couldn't believe her eyes as she looked around the room, 
trying to take everything in at once. It was too much to take in. Her 
eyes found Jack and she looked at him to assure herself that she wasn't 
dreaming. He smiled at her, his face glowing with happiness.

It was the baby's bedroom.

Sam looked around it with a sense of amazement. Jack had outdone himself. 
The room had been freshly painted in a soft yellow, with a cute little 
teddy bear border around the center of all four walls. There was a new 
dresser and changing table, already loaded up with cloth diapers. 
Everywhere she looked there seemed to be a stuffed animal. There was a 
cedar crib in the center of the room, a cute little teddy bear mobile 
hanging above it.

There was something metallic glinting in the mobile. Curious she took a 
step closer to look at it, suddenly oblivious to everything else in the 
room. She studied it for a long moment, not touching it, trying to work 
out if she was seeing what she thought she was. //Is it ... could it be 
... a ring?//

Jack stepped up behind her, reaching out to untie it from the mobile. 
Sam's eyes were glued to it in disbelief; she couldn't form a coherent 
thought in her head. //It was a ring. What was a ring doing in the 
mobile?// Twisting herself slightly she glanced at Jack a question 
lighting her eyes.

He was looking down at her nervously. She had never seen him nervous, 
never in the five years she had known him had he ever been like this. 
//Is he about to do what I think he is?//

Taking a step back he held the ring in front of her drawing her attention 
back to it. It was beautiful; she felt her breath being taken away as she 
looked down at it. //He was going to!//

Sam felt a thrill of excitement as Jack took her hand in his, the ring 
hovering millimeters from the tip of her finger. His hands were shaking. 
"Sam," his voice was husky, and as shaky as his hands. "Will you marry 
me?"

//He is!//

She didn't need to think about it. "Yes!" she breathed without any 
hesitation.

All his uneasiness was washed away by a wave of elation as he slid the 
ring onto her finger quickly and pulled her into his arms, kissing her 
lips. "I love you so much, Sam."

                         *******************

Jack had been awake since sunrise, unable to sleep any longer. He was too 
excited and happy to sleep. Instead he had contented himself for the last 
few hours by watching his future wife. That simple thought made his 
stomach do little flip-flops. Future wife, one day soon he and Sam were 
going to be married.

He was still having trouble coming to terms with it all. Two weeks ago he 
had been alone and miserable, filled with anger and regret for having let 
Sam go so easily when her eyesight had returned. A week later everything 
changed, Sam was pregnant with his child, and she had resigned her 
commission. They were free to be together.

Now they were engaged to be married.

It had all happened so fast. After so many years of being separated by 
their duty to the military, of suppressing their feelings, to suddenly be 
here in each others arms was a dream come true.

Jack had never thought that he would ever find happiness in the arms of 
another woman again. He had always lived with the resolute belief that he 
had blown his chance, that he would spend the rest of his life alone and 
tortured by the regrets of his past.

Sam stirred next to him, rolling on to her side and snuggling herself 
closer to him in her sleep. He smiled down at her, his heart pounding. 
//What did I ever do to deserve her love?// She was so young, so 
brilliant and beautiful. She could have any man she wanted and yet she 
chose him.

Propping himself up on an elbow he looked down at her, brushing a finger 
across her cheek lightly, so as not to wake her. He enjoyed watching her 
sleep; she looked so peaceful and angelic. She let out a small sigh, 
stretching her hand out on to his bare chest.

Pounding on the front door startled him out of his musings. Sam gave a 
jerk and opened her eyes sleepily, quickly sliding them shut again. Jack 
glanced at the clock as he slid out of bed. Who the hell would be banging 
on their door at seven in the morning?

The person pounded on the door again, loudly and more insistent. Sam's 
eyes opened again. "Wha?" she mumbled.

Pulling on his jeans, Jack quickly leaned over and brushed a kiss across 
her forehead. "Stay there baby, I'll get rid of them."

He didn't bother with a shirt, intending on telling the person at the 
door exactly where to go. The pounding resumed for the third time as he 
stepped out of the bedroom, still doing up his fly. "Enough already, I'm 
coming!" he snapped irritably.

Jack quickly unlocked and pulled the door open, an insult ready on his 
tongue. It dropped away quickly when he discovered who was on the other 
side. "Jacob ... Hi."

Jacob glanced at him, taking in his appearance before looking past him, 
down the hallway. "Sam here?" he asked shortly, brushing past Jack and 
walking inside.

Closing the door slowly, Jack turned his stunned attention to Jacob. The 
older man did not look happy at all. //Oh great!/ "She's in bed," he 
flinched as he saw Jacob's gaze harden. "I'll just go and get her."

"I'm coming, Jack," Sam called from the bedroom, obviously she had heard 
them.

He tried to hide his disappointment that he couldn't escape from Jacob's 
angry gaze. //I guess he knows then. I guess he's not too happy about it 
either.// He sighed, trying to think of some way they could get out of 
this situation. He hated to admit it, but an angry paternal Jacob kind of 
scared him.

Jack watched warily as Jacob looked around the hallway, taking everything 
in. "I'm gonna put coffee on. Do you want some?" he asked, trying to 
guide Jacob out of the hall. He stepped past Jacob and headed into the 
kitchen.

The footsteps behind him told him that Jacob was following. "Sure," he 
replied shortly. "Black, no sugar."

Jack cringed at the tone in Jacob's voice. There was nothing he could do 
about it. If Jacob wasn't happy about him and Sam he was just going to 
have to live with it. He quickly added the coffee and water to the 
percolator, thankful for the distraction as he prepared the coffees.

"Dad?"

Jack turned to see Sam nervously entering the kitchen. Luckily he caught 
the 'Hey Baby' before it left his tongue. Jacob was sitting at the 
breakfast bar. He twisted to fix his stern expression on his daughter. 
Jack could see her swallowing, but she held her father's gaze. "Sam."

She settled herself down at the table, glancing quickly at Jack. He 
forced a smile, knowing that it wasn't going to help her much. "When did 
you get back?" she asked breathlessly.

"This morning ... at about five," Jacob replied, his tone still brusque. 
He glanced over at Jack, his eyes penetrating. Jack suddenly remembered 
his state of undress under the intensity of his gaze. He shifted 
uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Only to find out that my daughter is 
not currently working at the SGC. In fact, apparently she resigned her 
commission as a Major in the Air Force. George wouldn't tell me anything 
other than that, except to say that I would find you here."

Inwardly, Jack groaned. Jacob was not a happy camper today. Looking at 
Sam, he noticed her skin had gone grey. "Sammie? Are you okay, baby?" 
Jack asked stepping forward.

Sam shook her head and bolted up out of her chair, cupping a hand to her 
mouth. She raced out of the kitchen and they heard the bathroom door slam 
shut behind her. Jack started after her, but Jacob moved quickly, 
catching Jack's arm. Jack was surprised to see a slight smile on his 
face. "She'll be fine. I think it's time you did some explaining. Don't 
you, Jack?"

"Yes, sir," Jack replied, sitting down in the chair Sam just vacated. He 
met Jacob's eyes warily. "Where should I start?"

"At the beginning. How far along is she?"

Jack smiled. Jacob's tone had changed, Jack was wondering if he had been 
trying to scare them, if he had it worked. "Eleven weeks."

Jacob frowned. "I came back a month ago, why didn't either of you say 
anything then?"

Clearing his throat, Jack stood up and walked back to the coffee 
percolator which had finally finished brewing the coffee. "We ... ah ... 
we weren't together then, and Sam didn't know she was pregnant."

He quickly poured the coffee, and with both cups in his hand walked back 
to his seat, placing Jacob's mug in front of him. He didn't see the 
surprise and disappointment that spread across Jacob's face until he had 
taken his seat. "So you're not the father?"

Jack grinned, unable to help himself any longer. "I am the father Jacob. 
Sam is having my baby ... and we're engaged."

Jacob stared at him for a long moment in disbelief as Jack's words slowly 
began to register. A smile stole across his face. "It's about time you 
both got your act together!" he said, reaching over and patting Jack's 
shoulder. "You just look after her okay, Jack?"

"Jacob, I am never gonna let her go."

"Let who go?" Sam's voice interrupted them.

Jack jumped up and was at her side in an instant, guiding her to his 
seat. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just morning sickness," she replied glancing at Jacob. "You know?" 
she asked uncertainly.

Jacob stood, pulling his daughter into a hug before she had a chance to 
sit down. "I do. Congratulations Sammie. I'm so happy for the both of 
you." He pressed a kiss to his daughter's forehead, and hugged her 
tighter to him. "So when did this all happen?"

Jack grinned, deciding that now was a good time to prepare some 
breakfast. He listened happily to Sam as she recounted her accident, and 
subsequently how they came to be involved the first time.

                         *******************

Two weeks later...

When Sam stepped out of the elevator and into the SGC she felt like she 
was coming home, only now everything was different. Gone were the BDUs 
that she had worn here every day during her tenure as 2IC of SG-1, 
replaced instead with her new "uniform" of overalls and a shirt. She 
glanced over at Jack, who shot her a grin in return. "Welcome back to the 
SGC, *Doctor* Carter."

Sam flushed bright red as his hand slipped into hers. It was going to 
take a while to get used to everything, to being called Doctor and not 
Major, to being able to show Jack affection on base after repressing 
themselves for so long.

Jack walked her to her lab, even though she insisted he didn't have to. 
As she laid her things on her workbench, she turned back around to face 
Jack. He gathered her into a loving hug and held her close. Sam was 
content to just stand there in his embrace, her arms wrapped around his 
waist. Her head rested against his chest, his own chin rested on the top 
of her head. Sam could hear the beat of his heart through his shirt. They 
would for once and for all be able to do this now. To touch, to hug, to 
kiss. They didn't have to hide anymore, least of all from themselves.

"SG-1 please report to the briefing room."

Jack groaned and pulled out of the embrace. "Duty calls," he sighed, 
pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Meet you back here for lunch at 
twelve?"

"Sure," Sam replied, her heart thudding painfully in her chest. She 
missed it already; she missed being part of the team. "Hey, no frowning. 
I won't be long. I promise."

"It's not that ... it's just ... Oh I don't know. It's already hard," Sam 
said, her eyes downcast.

"Well I know it is unbearable being separated from me, but I am sure you 
can cope for a few hours," Jack said trying to make her smile.

"Jack!" Sam grinned. Jack smiled in turn, happy with the result his 
little joke produced.

"What I mean is...this is the first time I haven't been part of the team. 
I feel that if ... if..." Sam trailed off.

"What is it, Sam?" Jack lowered his voice looking at her intently.

"I feel that if I'm not there...not watching out for you...that something 
will happen." Sam's eyes watered up then. She knew it had to be because 
of her hormones. She wasn't normally a weepy person.

"Sam ... Sammie look at me. Nothing is going to happen. I'm going to be 
okay. Heck I have Daniel and Teal'c to watch out for me. Okay ... well 
... I have Teal'c to watch out for me, since I have to look out for 
Daniel." Jack smiled even though he still saw tears in her eyes.

Sam's mouth lifted in a watery smile. She knew him to be telling her the 
truth. He did have their friends to watch out for him. And this was 
undoubtedly just another routine mission, but she couldn't help that 
doubts that plagued her. The fact of the matter was that the father of 
her baby was on the frontline and constantly in danger. It terrified her. 
And the simple matter that she wasn't going to be there to watch over him 
bothered her even more.

"That's my girl." Jack pulled her into an embrace again. Oh, how he loved 
this woman, his soon to be wife and mother of his baby.

Still she pasted on a genuine smile for Jack's sake as well as her own. 
She was going to have to get used to this. Being separated from him 
professionally would have to be her sacrifice for being with him on a 
personal level. No matter how hard it was for her, she was going to have 
to deal with it eventually.

"You better get to the briefing, you don't want to keep the General 
waiting," she pointed out, knowing that delaying him wasn't going to make 
her feel any better.

"Your right, wouldn't look good to be late on my first day back." He 
pulled her back into his arms, kissing her tenderly, before releasing her 
again. "I'll drop in when the briefing is over okay?"

"Okay," she responded sadly to his back as he swept out of the room. 

Hugging her arms about herself, she allowed her eyes to roam her lab, 
trying to find something to distract herself. She was pleasantly 
surprised to find that there was plenty to do. It looked like a couple of 
teams had bought back new 'doohickeys' for her to play with.

With a smile of relief she settled herself down on her stool and began to 
immerse herself in her work.

                         *******************

Jack stood in the doorway watching Sam, a smile playing across his lips. 
He had been standing here for the last five minutes and she hadn't even 
noticed. He loved that; she could get so immersed in her work that she 
became totally oblivious to everything else around her. He had no idea 
how she could get so caught up in her doohickeys.

It was fascinating watching the emotions play across her face. One minute 
her face was radiating with happiness, the next it was pinched with 
frustration. She was so beautiful when she was frustrated. But then again 
she was always beautiful to him.

Glancing down at his watch, he realized that he couldn't spend all day 
watching her. He had to be off world in less than two hours. He rapped 
softly on the doorframe, loudly enough to catch her attention.

Sam jerked her head up and a bright smile lit her face. "Jack."

"Hey baby," he said quietly, stepping into the lab. 

Sam got up off her stool, however her hand flew to her stomach and she 
stood there weaving slightly. Jack rushed over to her. "Are you all 
right? Sam?"

Jack held onto her as she steadied herself. She kept her eyes closed and 
took deep cleansing breaths. "Sam? Please say something."

She opened her eyes slowly. "I'm okay. Just felt like I was going to be 
sick. It's passed though."

"Are you sure. I mean ... Sam?" Jack got that look on his face every time 
she got sick. He looked like he was being tortured. It was kind of 
amusing in a way. But she suppressed her laughter, thinking he wouldn't 
agree with her view.

"Jack, I'm fine. This is perfectly normal for this stage in a pregnancy. 
Look at it this way; you won't have to put up with this part of it for a 
while. What with your mission and all," Sam explained logically. 

Jack looked at her sternly, though concerned. "That's exactly why I am 
thinking I shouldn't go. I shouldn't leave you like this."

"Now you're being irrational. Of course you'll go. You're the Commanding 
Officer. You have to go." Sam pulled away slightly and returned to her 
stool, feeling the need to sit down again.

They stayed there in silence for a few moments; Jack looking all the 
while indecisive; Sam trying to remain calm and collected, when she was 
anything but. She knew she would have to accept the fact that Jack would 
be going offworld eventually. Though she had hoped it wouldn't be this 
soon, even though she knew deep the possibility was there.

"When are you leaving?" she asked quietly, uncertain if she wanted to 
know what sort of mission he was going on.

Jack saw the flash of uncertainty in her eyes. He had to tell her that 
the mission was dangerous, he had to warn her. "About two hours," he 
moved closer to her and squatted down, laying his hand gently on her 
thigh. "Sam, it's gonna be a dangerous mission, I don't know if I should 
take it."

She took his hand, squeezing it in hers. Her eyes were pinched as she 
thought out her reply. He could see her hesitation, she was torn between 
telling him to stay and telling him to go. "You're the best man for the 
job Jack, you know it. If the mission is going to succeed they need you."

He knew she was right, it didn't mean he liked it. He had his duty 
though, and that was to the military, to the SGC. He had been ordered on 
this mission, and although he was allowed a certain amount of lenience 
they had chosen SG-1 for this mission for a reason, their expertise. 
"You're right Sam, but it doesn't mean I like it."

There was no more need for words. Standing, Jack pulled Sam up out of the 
seat and into his arms. He had an uneasy feeling in his belly, he felt 
like something was going to happen. It was irrational, he knew that, he 
also knew that the only reason he felt so uneasy was that this was the 
first time they had been apart since they had found out Sam was pregnant. 
This was SG-1's first mission without Sam as a member of the team.

Sam's arms slid around his neck pulling him closer to her. He leaned 
down, brushing his lips across her neck, holding her as tightly as he 
could in his arms. He didn't want to let her go.

"Oh ... ah ... am I interrupting?" Daniel's voice broke in from the 
doorway.

Slowly, Jack pulled out of Sam's arms. "No, not at all."

"Hey, Sam."

Sam nodded her head, but didn't turn to look at Daniel. Jack glanced down 
at her, startled to find her wiping tears from her cheeks. He was still 
holding her loosely in his arms; he gave her a quick reassuring squeeze.

"Damn hormones," she whispered, turning to face Daniel.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Daniel asked with concern when he noticed her 
appearance.

Sam laughed lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine, Daniel. My hormones are kinda out 
of whack at the moment," she explained.

Daniel seemed convinced with her response; he turned his attention back 
to Jack. "I don't think you should come, Jack," he stated, his eyes 
flickering nervously between Sam and Jack.

Jack sighed loudly and wrapped his arms around Sam's waist. "We've 
already discussed this Daniel. I'm going."

He was fighting back his lingering fears. He could feel Sam's tenseness 
as he held her in his arms. They had known this was going to happen when 
they returned to work, but no matter how much they expected it now that 
the moment was here it was a lot more difficult to deal with.

Daniel looked doubtful, his eyes darting back to Sam. "Are you sure?"

"You need me there, I can't desert my duties," Jack replied matter-of-
factly.

"Oh."

Jack watched with mild amusement as Daniel flushed and shuffled his feet 
awkwardly, but all he wanted at the moment was to be alone with his 
fiancée for the short time they had left before the mission.

"Daniel, why don't you go and get something to eat?" Sam suggested.

His head jerked up and he looked at the two of them. Obviously getting 
the hint, he nodded. "Good idea, Sam." Setting his shoulders, he pivoted 
on his heel and left he lab, closing the door behind him.

Sam turned slowly in Jack's arms and looked up at him, those crystal blue 
eyes shining with doubt. There was no point her trying to hide how she 
felt anymore, Jack could see straight through it just as he was sure she 
could do the same.

"Don't worry, Sam baby, I'll be back before you know it," he told her, 
trying to reassure not only Sam but himself.

She smiled, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know you will, 
Jack."

Running a hand through her hair, Jack guided her face into his chest, 
pulling her as close to his body as he could. He closed his eyes, losing 
himself in the feeling of their two bodies entwined, of her heart 
thudding in unison with his own.

                         *******************

Jacob flew out of the Stargate at a run, startling the armed SF's in the 
Gateroom, and the personnel in the Control Room. He felt panic-stricken; 
his heart was pounding painfully in his chest. His arm burned from the 
staff wound that covered his upper arm, but he was almost completely 
oblivious to it.

//How could things have gone so horribly wrong?//

He glanced quickly around the Embarkation room; the object of his search 
was noticeably absent. He brushed passed General Hammond, barely even 
noticing his presence as he raced out of the Embarkation room and out 
into the corridor beyond. His mind did not even register his name being 
called by the General.

He navigated the maze of corridors on instinct, nearly running down 
several airmen in his haste to get to where he was going. He didn't want 
her finding this out from anybody else. It was all his fault; he wanted 
to be the one to take the blame for it.

//Oh my poor Sammie,// his mind screamed, //what is going to happen to 
her and the baby now?//

The door to her office was open. Coming to a screaming halt outside it, 
he took a moment to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. There was 
no easy way to tell her.

Stepping into the room he was struck by how happy she looked. She was 
completely immersed in her study of some piece of machinery that she 
hadn't even noticed his arrival. She was humming quietly to herself as 
she worked, a small smile on her face. She loved tinkering.

Jacob could see the engagement ring Jack had given her glinting on her 
finger. He almost lost his nerve. He wanted to scream at the unfairness 
of it all. She hadn't done anything to deserve this, why was she going to 
be denied her chance to be happy?

"Sammie?" Jacob could not keep the alarm out of his voice

Sam's head snapped up to look at him, one of her beautiful smiles filling 
her face. "Dad!" she responded happily. Then she saw the look on his face 
and her smile faded. "Dad, what is it?"

Jacob stepped up to her, taking her hand gently in his own. He was 
shaking, he couldn't help it. "Sammie ... it's Jack", he started, his 
heart clenching as Sam's expression changed from one of fear to one of 
absolute horror, her eyes glistening with tears. "He's been captured by 
Bastet."


                         *******************

Here With Me
By Flotternz and Tarra O'Neal - flotternz@yahoo.co.nz and 
IrishLas413@msn.com


RATING: PG/PG13

WARNINGS: Angst, Mild violence, Angst, Torture, did we mention Angst?!

CATEGORY: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst

PAIRINGS: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet

SPOILERS: Stargate the Movie, COTG, Broca Divide, Solitudes, Singularity, 
Cold Lazarus, In The Line Of Duty, Point Of View, The Devil You Know, A 
Hundred Days, Shades Of Grey, Maternal Instinct, Nemesis, Divide & 
Conquer, Beneath The Surface, Entity, Tangent, Desperate Measures, and 
possibly a few more that we can't recall. 

TIME FRAME: Final Part in the Last Breath Series. Sequel to "Looking 
Through Your Eyes" and"More Than Anyone Deserves"; Season 5 (After 
Desperate Measures) Alternate Timeline.

SUMMARY: Jack has been abducted by a new Goa'uld Bastet and Sam is 
pregnant and trying to cope with him being missing.  Will the love of her 
friends help her through this difficult time, and when they find Jack 
will their love be enough to heal Jack's battered soul?

ARCHIVE: Dyiallias II - http://www.dyiallias2.bravepages.com , S/J 
archive, Jackfic ... anywhere else please ask.

DISCLAIMER: Sadly we don't own SG-1, or that lovely graying, brown eyed 
Colonel...*sigh*! Oh woe are we!! Anyways... Stargate SG-1 and its 
characters are the property of Stargate Productions, MGM/UA, Viacom, 
Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Showtime and/or Sci 
Fi networks. No infringement is intended to the above parties. This is 
for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. The 
original characters, situations, and story are the property of the 
author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the 
author.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Song credits – Inspired by the song "Here With Me" by 
Michelle Branch, also contains lyrics from the songs "When You Get Used 
To Somebody" by Tim McGraw and "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch. Much 
thanks goes out to Hoodat!!  Thanks for being our beta! You're the bomb! 
Hugzzzzzzzz!!!!

FEEDBACK: SWEET!!! We love feedback!! The more we get, the more we write, 
and everyone's happy!! :)

                         *******************

"Here With Me"


The cold, flat edge of the knife slid across the skin of his chest. Jack 
squeezed his eyes shut, trying to not show any fear; it only led to pain- 
pain that he was beginning to not handle very well. 

It felt as if he was being torn limb from limb. Slowly. Painfully. 
Excruciatingly.

His arms were stretched above him and strapped to the Wheel of Torture, 
as he dubbed it earlier, and that is the only way it could be described. 
His legs were treated in a similar manner, stretched far apart and 
secured at the base of the large, cold, metal wheel contraption. 

The sweat pouring down his body and seeping into his open wounds 
intermingled with his blood, which only added to his pain. He had given 
up protesting long ago. His voice had grown hoarse, and it hurt to talk. 
It took too much effort to get out even one word. So that was when his 
questions ceased also. Not that it mattered; they never answered him 
anyway. They just sneered that snaky sneer and continued torturing him.

The guard came and stood in front of him again. He held out his palm. 

//No! Not again!//

The pulsating glow began. Again. The thrumming started in his temples and 
engulfed his entire head. His head involuntarily whipped back as the 
piercing pain spiked through his head. 

//Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. STOP!//

He heard an otherworldly scream echo between the walls. He wished that 
whoever or whatever that was would stop. It was hurting his head. Then he 
realized it was himself.

Images started flashing through his mind. This was when the nausea began. 
The images would always fly around his head, spinning and skipping in 
front of his eyes. Never stopping. 

Then they stopped. And one image settled in his mind. He expected it to 
flash away at any moment. He expected more pain. 

The image was fuzzy at first, but then it materialized into a woman. A 
beautiful, blond haired, blue-eyed woman. He knew her from somewhere, but 
where?

The image changed again, but in slow motion this time, making it easier 
on his pounding head. 

He was standing in a room. A meeting room. A ... a ... briefing room. He 
was surrounded by other men in blue uniforms, gathered around a table. 
They were all looking at him, waiting. What were they waiting for? He 
looked toward the open doorway. A form was standing there, shifting 
nervously in the shadows. The form finally walked in, confidently.

Then he saw her. Her. The beautiful woman. With blond hair. And blue 
eyes. And she was smiling. Smiling at him? 

The image shifted once again. This time to a cave. An icy, dark cave. He 
was lying on the cold, hard floor of the cave. He was hurt. Numb. 
Uncaring anymore. Then she was in front of him again. She looked as worse 
for wear as he was, but she was smiling. At him. 

The intensity of the sharp pain in his head nearly overtook him, his 
images darkening. But he would not give in. He had to keep her in his 
sight. She made him feel no pain. She made him feel invincible.

Her face became clearer. Her smile became brighter. The pain diminished 
to the darkest corner of his mind. 

The woman...what is her name...came closer to him. She was standing 
nearly in front of him. She was saying something. What is she saying?

"Jack"

Jack? Who's Jack, he thought. Oh wait. He knew that name too. That was 
his name. Jack. I'm Jack. He had to keep reminding himself.

//"Jack, I..."//

Her voice kept fading in and out. He had to hear her voice. He had to 
hear what she was saying. He had a feeling it was important, whatever it 
was she was saying. 

//"Jack, I love you."// She smiled. 

She smiled. At him. She loved him. //Who is she?//

He couldn't remember her name. Why couldn't he remember her name? He knew 
he loved her. That much was obvious. The way she made him feel, the way 
she looked at him, smiled at him. Loved him. 

He could feel himself reciprocating those feelings, and reacting to them. 
His heart skipped a beat whenever she smiled at him, whenever he thought 
about her smile. He couldn't remember anything specific, yet he knew he 
should. It was tormenting him. What kind of man was he if he couldn't 
remember the name of the woman he loved?

She reached out and took his hand. She laid his hand against her stomach 
where a small mound was apparent. He could feel her warm skin against his 
hand, and something more. The skin under his hand moved. His eyes flew to 
hers. She smiled.

"Our baby," she said. 

Jack felt it again. A light little kick from the inside of her womb. 
Baby. His baby. Their baby! He smiled, or he thought he did. He wasn't 
sure of much of anything right now, except for the fact that the woman he 
loved was having his baby. 

All too soon though, he was yanked away from his pleasant surroundings 
and back to the pain-enthralled torture chamber. The suddenness of the 
pain of his body and his heart caused a gut wrenching sob to escape his 
mouth. Jack cut it off quickly knowing that any emotion shown only fueled 
the sick twisted minds of his tormentors. His mind drifted into the all-
consuming blackness that guaranteed at least a short escape from the 
pain.

                         *******************

Sam sat in the rocking chair in the baby's room. The lights were off and 
the room was chilled, but she didn't seem to notice or care.

//He's been captured by Bastet.//

The words were a lament, echoing through her head, torturing her. 

//Captured by Bastet.//

Two months and they were still no closer to finding him. She didn't even 
know if he was alive.  

I thought I felt you touch my cheek this morning
But I musta been dreamin'

Tears slid unbidden down her cheeks. She felt so alone without him, the 
house felt so empty. Only in this room did she feel less alone. He had 
shown her this room the night he had proposed to her, the night she 
thought they would spent the rest of their lives together.

And in the middle of the night without a warning
I thought I heard you breathin'

Now, her baby probably was not going to have its father. It was so 
unfair. What had they ever done to deserve this?

Me and my so-called independence
I've got this loneliness that's so relentless

She wiped at her eyes, the cool metal of her ring brushing across her 
cheek. She looked down at it, glinting softly in the moonlight that 
flowed through the window. It was a symbol of his love for her, a symbol 
of what was to be their future together.

Sam still held steadfastly to the belief that he was still alive, 
somewhere out there. Even after so long, he had to be alive. She knew 
that if she ever lost that belief she would be lost forever without him.

I guess you get used to somebody
Kind of like havin' them around

The tears still streamed down her cheeks. She had done this every night 
since her father had told her, retreated to this room to let out the 
emotions that she suppressed all day. She felt so useless at the SGC, 
unable to help with the search that the SG teams and the Tok'ra were 
partaking in, confined to her lab trying to study machinery that she no 
longer had any interest in studying.

I guess you get used to the way they make you happy
Bring you up when you're feeling down

Her heart lay somewhere across the galaxy, and she wouldn't be complete 
until she was reunited with it once again. "Oh, Jack," she cried, 
"Please, come back to me."
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much

There was no answer, her voice echoed hollowly in the empty room. Her 
hand drifted down to the small swell of her belly, she could feel the 
fluttering sensation that told her the baby was moving. It was comforting 
to her, to feel that little life moving inside her. At least if they 
never found him, she would have that much of Jack in her child ... their 
child.

I guess you get used to somebody
I guess you get used to being loved

Janet had told her that she could tell the sex of the baby now. Sam 
didn't want to know. She wanted the sex to be one final surprise from 
Jack if he was never to come home. Oh, he has to come home. I need him.

Sam sat up hopefully at the sound of a key sliding in the lock of the 
front door. Shoulders slumping miserably, she slid back down on the seat; 
they would have called her if he had been found.

"Sam?"

It was Daniel. She wondered if he would go away if she ignored him. For a 
brief moment she regretted giving Daniel and Janet a key to the house, 
but they had both insisted and she couldn't refuse them.

"Sam? Are you there?"

//Great,// she thought bitterly, //it's both of them.// She swiped at her 
face angrily. Why couldn't they just leave her alone?

"I'm here," Sam croaked in reply, her voice scratchy and raw from crying.

Resting her head against the padded headrest, she closed her eyes. She 
didn't want visitors, if they wanted to see her they could come to her. 
She wasn't going to go out of her way to accommodate anyone. 

"Here you are!" Janet's head popped around the door, a smile on her face.

"What do you want?" Sam sighed. 

This had happened nearly every night for the last two months. She came 
home; one of them would turn up to check on her. In the beginning she 
hadn't been bothered; she knew they were worried about her and the baby. 
But now ... all she wanted was to be alone with her grief, and they 
weren't letting her do that.

After the first couple of weeks, she had dropped into a deep depression. 
She kept denying the fact that Jack was gone. Her mind told her to accept 
it, but her heart refused. Even now, after two months of wondering, 
worrying, crying, and praying, she still couldn't dismiss the feeling 
down deep in her heart.

Janet and Daniel had been very attentive the whole time. They hadn't let 
her leave their presence for         more than a couple of hours. Janet 
had noticed her not eating and the signs of fatigue on her face. But no 
matter what she couldn't get them to go away and leave her alone. She 
knew they meant well, but if she accepted their help and aid, she might 
as well close the case so to speak of ever expecting Jack back home. And 
she couldn't do that. She couldn't and wouldn't let herself do that.

Janet ignored her snappish comment and stepped into the room. "Oh Sam, 
it's freezing in here, why haven't you put the fire on?"

Sam glanced up at her. Janet was standing at arms length, her face etched 
with concern. "What are you ... my mother?" she snapped angrily. "I'm not 
cold Janet. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you're not looking after yourself and your baby, Sam. If we 
leave you alone who knows what will happen to the two of you. I'm your 
doctor and your friend; I can't let anything happen to you. Either of 
you."

Janet squatted down in front of her, placing her hand softly on Sam's 
knee. "You have to snap out of this Sam. This is no way to live your 
live, shutting yourself away and pining for Jack. He wouldn't want to see 
you like this any more than we do."

Daniel's head popped around the doorway. "I've got everything Jan," he 
said quietly, glancing in Sam's direction. "Hey Sam."

Sam ignored him, focusing instead on Janet. "What does he mean by that?"

Janet stood and took her hand. "You're coming with us even if we have to 
drag you out of the house kicking and screaming."

Fixing her sharp gaze on Daniel, she jerked her hand away from Janet. She 
couldn't believe this. "No, I'm not going anywhere. Don't you get it? I 
just want to be alone."

Janet looked at her with sorrow lighting her eyes. She couldn't stand 
seeing Sam like this. "Sam, this isn't healthy for you ... or the baby." 

"Why don't you understand? I want ... no ... I *have* to be here. This is 
the only place I feel near Jack." Sam said choking on a sob.

Janet gathered Sam into her arms. "Just let it out Sam. Let it all out."

Sam's sobs grew to heart wrenching wails as she finally let the impact of 
it all catch up to her. She realized then that she couldn't do it by 
herself anymore.

                         *******************

Daniel carefully deposited Sam's sleeping form on Cassie's bed.  When 
she'd had her breakdown, she cried so long and hard that she had 
exhausted herself.  

Janet had been adamant about not leaving Sam there alone again, as they 
had for the past two months.  Daniel had tucked Sam's bags in Janet's car 
and then carried Sam out and made sure she was settled comfortably.  

Janet had told him, with this being such a critical time in Sam's 
pregnancy, they would have to keep a close eye on her.  Though, Janet 
didn't have to tell him, he could see for himself.  It wasn't a good sign 
that she was closing herself off from her friends.  Even her work, which 
used to be so important to her, was suffering. 

Daniel berated himself everyday for not convincing Jack to stay.  He knew 
it hadn't been such a good idea for Jack to accept the mission so soon 
after his injury, and after finding out that Sam was pregnant. He should 
have taken more time to recuperate.  He should have passed up the 
mission.  He should have stayed with Sam.   No matter how much he told 
himself that Jack was a mature adult and could make rational decisions, 
Daniel still blamed himself to a degree for letting Jack go.  

At first, after they found out Jack had been captured; they all thought 
it would only be a matter of time before he was recovered.  Jack O'Neill 
had been through rough situations before and had always survived.  Why 
should this time be any different they all thought.  The only difference 
being that this time he had more at stake--a baby on the way and a 
promised marriage. 

Janet had come to stand next to Daniel and put her arms around him, 
without him realizing it.  They looked down at Sam, knowing this had to 
be the first decent sleep she had gotten in weeks.  Daniel gathered Janet 
into his arms, cherishing his own gift.  

Janet sighed sorrowfully.  "Why is it, that when two people are meant to 
be together, they are constantly torn apart?"

"I don't know hon. I can't understand it myself." He said as he pressed a 
kiss to her forehead.  She leant her head against his chest.  He felt a 
dampness soaking through his shirt.  

"I really thought that with the baby, they would finally have a chance 
for true happiness.  Lord knows they needed some," Janet said through her 
tears.  

Daniel knew as well as she did that neither Jack nor Sam had had a 
pleasant life.  After the initial shock wore off, he was ecstatic for his 
friends.  If anyone deserved to be together and be happy it was Sam and 
Jack.  But now, by a twist of fate, their happiness was ripped out from 
under them.  All of Sam's initial worries about having to raise this 
child on her own, all came crashing back to Earth.  

When she first found out that she was going to have a baby, she had 
convinced herself that Jack wouldn't want anything to do with it, however 
untrue that turned out to be.  Though they themselves didn't even know 
what to expect at the time, they had backed Sam's decision.  They had 
been fully prepared to help her raise her baby.  Then when Jack finally 
came to his senses about his whole relationship with Sam, not only was 
*he* thrilled but everyone else was too.  They had still wanted to be a 
part of Jack and Sam's baby's life; they were just overjoyed that the 
baby would have its father.  

Now though, it was as if their well laid-out plans had suddenly been 
erased.  Janet and Daniel still planned on giving Sam any support she may 
need.  

                         *******************

Jack was thrown bodily into his cell, the air driven from his chest, his 
mind a daze of twisted memories and emotions. Gasping, he battled to 
drive air back into his lungs, taking huge breaths that only serve to 
make his broken ribs protest.

He rolled onto his back, his sweat-soaked stomach covered in dirt from 
the ground. Closing his eyes, he fought the pain that the movement 
caused, not only from his ribs, but also from the myriad of bruises and 
cuts that covered his back and abdomen. His wrist was broken; it had been 
for some time.

Blackness floated in front of him. He wasn't sure if it was actually dark 
or if he'd lost his vision again. A wave of nausea rolled over him. 
Pushing himself onto his side, vision flecking with the pain, he retched 
violently, bringing up only bile. He hadn't eaten in days, and had only 
been given a tiny mouthful of water several hours ago. If you could even 
call it water. It wasn't fit for animals to drink.

He lay back, his energy wasting away, and closed his eyes again. It was 
the only way to make the pain fade back to a tolerable level. His head 
pounded constantly from the lack of food and water and from the no doubt 
multiple concussions he had suffered in the time he had been here. 

Here. He didn't even know where here was. Since he had been captured he 
had been moved numerous times. No doubt to keep him from memorizing his 
surroundings, should he escape. And that had been on his mind constantly. 
Escape. Though the thought had dulled to the furthest reaches of his 
mind. Ebbing there, should he care to act on it.

Time had lost all meaning to him. He had not slept in weeks, of that he 
was certain. A painful cacophony of sounds filled the room from tiny 
speakers making it impossible to sleep. He did not know where he was, or 
how he had gotten there. He remembered almost nothing of his life before 
this misery began only the little images that flashed before him in the 
few small moments of sleep he occasionally managed to grab.

He could remember a woman, she was very important to him. Sam. That's 
what the little visions told him her name was. She was having his baby. 
He saw images of people that he assumed were his friends, but nothing 
tangible enough to hold on to. Except for her, he had to live; he had to 
get home to her and their baby.

Her smile. He remembered her smile. It kept flashing through his mind. 
Sometimes he could almost smile back, but the left side of his face had 
been crushed, making it painful to do so. It was beautiful; it made this 
wretched life worth living. It helped him hold on to the belief that he 
would live to see it again.

The sound of someone outside his door was unmistakable. Please, not 
again! With a burst of energy, he pulled himself across to the far corner 
of the cell and cowered in the shadows that lay there. The Goa'uld, 
Bastet, took great pleasure in torturing people. He could not remember 
her or her Jaffa ever asking him any questions; his torture sessions were 
silent except for his screams.

//What could they possibly want from me,// he thought. He knew nothing. 
Or at least he thought he knew nothing. //Crap!// Now he was confusing 
himself.

They normally gave him time to recoup before each session. If they were 
coming for him now, did it mean that she had grown tired of him, found a 
new subject to torture? He wouldn't let them take him without a fight.  
He needed to focus. He couldn't pass out again. If he passed out, he was 
afraid he wouldn't wake up the next time. And he had to wake up. He had 
to get out of here.

Footsteps approached him quietly, too quietly. Something was wrong. They 
were going to kill him. He tried to fight back the panic that was 
suddenly growing in him. He had to live! A hand touched his shoulder 
gently, something was said to him, but his mind didn't register it.

With a feral growl he grabbed the hand and moved with a speed and agility 
that the Jaffa wouldn't have expected. He twisted the arm until he heard 
the crack. Dropping it with satisfaction, he stood, driving his fist into 
their face. Another satisfying crack sounded as his assailant's nose 
broke.

"Jack!" a voice yelled.

Jack stopped suddenly, his fist still raised, his other hand still 
gripping the front of his assailant's shirt. Another man stood in the 
doorway, too small to be a Jaffa. He was dressed in the robes of a 
Goa'uld. Was that his name he was calling? The Jaffa had never called him 
anything but human before. He let go of the shirt in his hand, the person 
falling to the ground with an agonized moan.

"Jack," the man repeated, raising his hands as if to show he meant no 
harm. "We're here to help you Jack. We're here to get you out."

Jack tilted his head, studying the man intensely. He looked familiar, but 
this had happened before. He had thought someone had looked familiar and 
it had been a trick, a new method of torture. He looked down at the man 
on the floor; he was holding his nose, his broken arm held tightly 
against his stomach.

"Jack please," the man sounded desperate. "It's me, Jacob."

The name meant nothing to him. He couldn't remember a Jacob. It must be a 
trick, they're trying to fool me into believing they're something they 
aren't. Placing a swift kick into the stomach of the man on the ground he 
rounded on the other one. He crossed the room in two steps, gathering the 
front of the man's robes in his fist.

Fear flickered across his face. Jack had nothing to lose; he would kill 
him if he had to. He could tell by the other man's face, by Jacob's face 
that he saw it too. His other hand groped for Jacob's throat and 
squeezed. Jacob's hands wrapped around his wrist, trying to pull them off 
as his eyes bulged. Jack only squeezed harder.

"Sam..." Was the only word that managed to escape Jacob's lips.

Jack released his throat and robes in surprise, sending Jacob slumping to 
the ground, hands around his throat as he lay gasping for breath. He 
studied the man again, feeling that sense of familiarity once again. Jack 
had never mentioned Sam during his torture sessions, no one here knew who 
she was. Did they manage to get inside his head on top of everything 
else? Is that how Jacob knew her name?

Jacob had pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, still gasping. "You 
have to trust me Jack. This isn't one of Bastet's tricks. We're here to 
take you back to Sam."

Unwillingly, he held his good hand out to the man. He did not trust him, 
but something deep down told him to believe him. Jacob took his hand and 
stood, his eyes traveling up and down Jack's battered body, before 
brushing past him and helping the other man up.

Jack stood rooted in place, trying to get his mind around what was 
happening. He was leaving here; he was going home to Sam. It didn't seem 
real, none of it did. It seemed like some far-fetched dream. Reality to 
him was pain and beatings.

Something brushed his shoulder. He jerked away from it, half-twisting, a 
low growl forming in his throat. Jacob was behind him holding up some 
dark brown robes. Jack stepped warily away from him.

"Jack you have to put it on or we won't get out of here."

Inching forward he reached out and snatched the robes from Jacob, 
wrapping them around his body awkwardly with one hand. It was course, 
aggravating the multitude of cuts on his body, but he didn't care.

He was going back to Sam.

                         *******************

Sam lay on the bed her eyes closed, but not asleep.  She had been faking 
it for the past few minutes, waiting for Janet and Daniel to leave the 
room.  They pitied her, she just knew it.  She didn't want pity.  She 
didn't want to be felt sorry for.  She just wanted Jack.  

I kinda miss those ramblin' conversations
Where we talk about nothin' 

She rolled over onto her back and drew her hand up to her swollen 
stomach.  She felt the baby move, causing her mouth to lift slightly.  
The baby started moving around about a month ago.  She can't believe that 
Jack missed the first kick of their baby.  He would have loved to have 
felt it.  When she had to go to her first ultra sound alone, it nearly 
killed her.  Jack had been so looking forward to it.  He had been talking 
of hardly anything else since he found out.  Especially after he got the 
baby's room all fixed up.  

The way you always made me laugh at my frustrations
Baby that was somethin'

She talked to the baby all the time.  Mostly about its father.  She knew 
it probably wasn't doing her any good, to constantly dredge it up, but it 
was the only way for her to hang onto Jack.  Until she had evidence, 
hardcore, able to be touched evidence, she would not believe that Jack 
was dead.  

I should've been careful what I wished for 
Cause I've got my freedom and so much more

When Jack was trapped on Edora all those years ago, for more than three 
months, she never gave up the search.  No matter what people said, she 
hadn't let herself stop until he was found.  

I guess you get used to somebody
Kind of like havin' them around

This time though...She shook her head clearing images ingrained in her 
mind...she couldn't think about this time.  Because Jack was coming back.  
Alive.  

I guess you get used to the way they make you happy
Bring you up when your feeling down
I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much

Sam curled up on her side, the soft light from the hallway leaking in 
through the crack in the door.  It felt good to lie down at least.  She 
hadn't allowed herself this comfort for quite a while.  She closed her 
eyes again, and started singing softly.  It was a lullaby that she 
remembered her mother singing to her when she was a child.  She hadn't 
heard it in years, but it somehow came bubbling to the surface.  She told 
herself she was singing to soothe the baby, but deep down she knew it was 
to ease her own troubled soul.  

I never dreamed when I was letting you go
That I would wake up and miss you this much

She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew she heard the 
blaring ring of the telephone down the hallway.  She looked at the 
bedside clock.  0230.  Who would be calling Janet's at this time of 
night.  She strained to hear the voices down the hallway.  It was Janet 
and Daniel talking urgently, but softly.  She was curious as to what was 
happening.  She sat up and prepared to get off the bed to find out, when 
Janet rushed into the room in a flurry of motion. 

Janet seemed only mildly surprised that Sam was already awake.  "Sam we 
have to get to the SGC.  They've found Jack.  And he's alive."

Sam was struck speechless, but she allowed Janet to help her bundle up 
for the journey to the mountain.  And Jack.   

                         *******************

Sam hurried through the corridors of the SGC, Janet and Daniel trailing 
behind in her wake.  All her energy was focused on getting down to the 
infirmary, going to Jack.  She didn't want to think about what she might 
find when she got there.

When they reached the Infirmary level Janet took her arm, stopping her.  
Her face looked stern and worried. "Sam, he's in the observation room.  
The General warned me that he's in bad shape, he won't let anyone near 
him and he won't talk.  Sam, I don't want him to do anything to harm you 
and the baby."

"He won't harm us Janet," Sam scoffed impatiently.  She wanted to see 
him; she had to see him *now*.

"Sam, I'm only asking you to be careful.  You have to calm him down 
enough so I can check his injuries."

"I know Janet."

Brushing her hand off, Sam continued down the corridor.  A feral kind of 
scream was coming from the observation room, echoing up the corridor to 
her ears.  //That couldn't be Jack, could it?//  It sounded more like an 
animal than man.  She quickened her pace.  What was happening to him?

Rounding the corner she ran into her father.  He looked tired, but a 
relieved smile filled his face when he saw her. "Sammy."  He pulled her 
into his arms, hugging her tightly to his chest.

"How is he Dad?"

One look at his face told her everything she needed to know.  It had been 
a long time since she had seen her father look as anguished as he did 
now.  It took her breath away. "He knows who you are Sammy.  That's all 
that matters," he replied, brushing his lips across her forehead.

A loud crash from the observation room pulled them apart.  There was a 
moan of pain and then silence.  Jacob cupped her face, looking deep into 
her eyes. "Sammy, things might not look so good now, but they will get 
better.  You have him back now".  He pressed another kiss to her 
forehead. "Do you want Teal'c to go in with you just in case you need any 
help?"

It was only then that Sam noticed Teal'c standing tensely by the doorway, 
a zat clutched ready in his hand as he peered through the glass on the 
door.  Moving away from her father, she stepped up to Teal'c. "It is a 
relief that you have finally arrived Samantha Carter," he said in 
greeting, his attention not leaving the door.

"Thanks Teal'c," she replied, reaching out to touch his arm. "Will you 
stay out here?  I'll call out if I need any help."  Teal'c simply 
inclined his head in acquiescence.

Taking a deep breath, Sam opened the door and took a couple of steps 
inside.  She heard a scuffling sound and looked in its direction.  What 
she saw would be etched into her memory forever.  Nothing could ever have 
prepared her for the sight before her.  She stood there for a long time, 
rooted in place and helpless.

Jack was crouched in the far corner of the room, watching her warily.  He 
was almost unrecognizable from the man he had been.  His face was partly 
in shadow, the left side of his face swollen, his cheek and nose 
noticeably broken.  His breathing was ragged, frightened.

He was almost naked, clothed only in a loincloth that barely covered his 
midsection decently.  He was emaciated, his face hollow and drawn.  
Almost every visible inch of his body was covered in bruises, cuts and 
grime.  He was filthy.

Inwardly Sam groaned and fought to stifle the sob that formed in her 
throat.  What had they done to him?  She knew she couldn't let him she 
how upset his appearance made her, schooling her expression she took a 
cautious step forward.

Jack backed up, somehow managing to squeeze himself deeper into the 
corner, flinching away from her.  His eyes were wild, searching 
everywhere for a means to escape.  He grunted in pain.

Sam stopped moving.  She was still several feet away from him.  Slowly 
she squatted down so she was at eye level with him. "Jack, it's me.  It's 
Sam," she kept her voice quiet, not wanting to startle him any more than 
he already was.

He tilted his head, an almost bird-like motion, his eyes looking her up 
and down.  His body was still except for his eyes.  Sam inched forward 
slowly, stopping after every foot to make certain she wasn't scaring him.  
She had no idea how he might react if he freaked out.  //Was Dad wrong?  
Did he not recognize me at all?//

She was unaware of the passing of time as she crawled closer to him.  She 
kept her eyes on his, trying to keep him calm, to show him that she was 
no threat to him.  Finally she was in front of him, her knees almost 
brushing his.

Tentatively, she reached out and touched his knee.  His reaction was 
instantaneous.  He screamed the same animalistic sound she had heard 
outside in the corridor.  He jerked away from her, standing and pressing 
himself against the wall, knocking Sam over in the process.  His eyes 
were wide, terrified; he was shaking.

Sam stood up facing him, holding her arms out in front of her, trying to 
show him that she was no threat. "Jack, it is me.  It's Sam," she told 
him tenderly. "You're home Jack.  Your safe, you're with me now ... and 
our baby."  She pressed a hand to her belly, attempting to show him the 
burgeoning mound that was their unborn child.

Tears were streaming down Jack's cheeks, but his gaze had followed her 
hand.  He studied it for a long time, confusion creasing the undamaged 
side of his face.  Slowly, Sam inched closer again, trying to soothe him 
with the sound of her voice. "Nothing is going to hurt you again baby.  I 
promise you, no one will ever hurt you again."

Reaching up, she gently cupped his unmarred cheek with her hand.  Jack 
flinched, but didn't pull away.  A realization seemed to take hold of 
him.  The uncertainty in his features seemed to ebb away, only to be 
replaced by disbelief.  His mouth opened, he was saying something, but no 
sound came out.

Sam was certain that it was her name that he had mouthed. "Yes, it's me 
Jack.  I'm real."

Jack's shoulders began shaking forcefully, his face twisting in misery.  
Sam stepped forward, pulling him to her.  Mindful of his battered body 
she wrapped her arms around him and held him as he wept.  She could feel 
how thin and bony he suddenly was. "Its okay, Jack, let it out."

A sob rose in her throat.  They had broken him, broken his mind as well 
as his body.  Despite all his Black Ops training they had managed to 
break him.  What had they done to him?  He hadn't even known she was 
real.  She bit the tears back, knowing that she had to be strong for him.  
She had to help him get through this.

His sobs subsided quickly and as much as she didn't want to let him go, 
she knew that Janet had to check his injuries.  Sam had no idea how she 
was going to coax Jack into letting Janet examine him.  Her hand was 
slowly stroking up and down his back, a soothing motion.  He was still 
tense; his arms still lay stiffly at his side.

Sam didn't hear the low growl forming in his throat, didn't notice the 
growing tenseness in his body until it was too late.  When he did move it 
was with a swiftness that she had never seen before, the speed of a man 
acting purely on instinct.  One of his arms shot out, wrapping itself 
firmly around her throat, his other hand gripping one of her arms firmly 
in front of her.

"Trick!" he yelled, the first cognitive thing she had heard from him.  
His voice was raw and gravelly from lack of use.  His face contorted 
angrily as Sam's free hand groped up to grip his wrist futilely.  His 
grip tightened and she gasped weakly from a combination of lack of oxygen 
and pain.

The door burst open behind her and instantly she realized why he had 
assumed it was a trick.  She couldn't cry out, tell them to go, couldn't 
plead to Jack that he was mistaken.  She was completely helpless to do 
anything.

He had just seen Teal'c.

Her vision was fading; she wasn't going to last much longer if she didn't 
do something.  Instinctively, she raised her knee forcefully and it 
connected with his groin.  He groaned, his fingers loosening on her 
throat enough for her to push him back.

Sam fell to her knees, drawing deep breaths, trying to force precious 
oxygen back into her lungs.  Her shocked mind struggled to comprehend 
what had just happened.  Glancing up at Jack, she saw him looking past 
her, rooted in place, a look of betrayal on his face.  He was whimpering 
softly in fear.  

//Oh god, Teal'c!//

Sam stood quickly, ignoring the wave of lightheadedness that washed over 
her.  Turning to face Teal'c, she made sure her body shielded Jack from 
the Jaffa.  As she had anticipated Teal'c was standing inside the 
doorway, his zat raised and aimed in their direction.  Janet stood 
anxiously behind him, Jacob next to her, looking ready to do murder.

"Teal'c, get out!" she yelled breathlessly.  It hurt to talk. "He doesn't 
know you ... he's scared!"

Jack moaned softly behind her, incoherent and terrified.  Sam spared a 
backward glance at him, forcing a smile to try and placate him.  His 
moaning stopped; he froze, staring back at her with an intensity she had 
never seen before.

Teal'c still had his zat raised.  He looked at her pensively. "I am only 
trying to protect you and your unborn child Samantha Carter."

"I know that Teal'c, but he doesn't.  Please Teal'c," she pleaded.  She 
started swaying slightly, her throat was throbbing.  Jack's grip had done 
more damage then simply cutting off her air, but she couldn't let it 
show.  She had to help him.

Janet stepped forward, forcing Teal'c to lower the zat. "She's right, 
Teal'c."  She met Sam's eyes. "Are you okay Sam?"

Sam nodded. "I'm fine Janet," she lied, she felt anything but okay. "Can 
you get me a sedative?  There's no way he's gonna let you examine him."

Janet nodded, and she pushed Teal'c out of the room. Jacob stayed where 
he was, concern shining in his eyes. "Are you sure you don't want 
somebody to stay in here with you, Sammy?"

"No Dad. I was getting through to him before; we just need to be alone." 
Jacob nodded and quietly left the room.

Sam had already turned her attention back to Jack. She wanted to sit 
down, she felt dizzy, but she couldn't. She didn't want to do anything to 
make him nervous. That same impenetrable gaze was still fixed on her. His 
arm drifted out to touch her cheek tentatively, as if he was trying to 
assure himself that she was real.

"Sa ... Sammy?" he choked out uncertainly.  His eyes drifted down to look 
at her lips. "Smile," he muttered dreamily.  He closed his eyes, his arm 
dropping back to his side, as he seemed to lose himself in a memory.

Sam watched him uncertainly.  //Smile?  What on Earth did he mean by 
that?//  She wracked her brain trying to try and work out what he meant 
by his comment.  She was clueless. "Yeah, Jack, it's me.  It's Sammy," 
she replied, forcing a smile.

Jack's eyes opened slowly and he studied her for a moment with that 
impenetrable stare.  A slow smile spread across the undamaged side of his 
face as he reached out and touched her cheek again, his fingers brushing 
her lips. "Smile," he whispered.

It dawned on Sam then what he meant. "Is that what you remembered Jack, 
my smile?" she asked, taking his hand in hers.

He nodded slightly an almost child-like gesture. "Smile."  He squeezed 
her hand in his, his eyes drifting down to look at her neck.  Horror 
filled his features as he looked at it saw the damage he had done.  His 
face crumpled and tears began to course down his cheeks.  He pulled his 
hand out of her grip, backing away from her.

His back came into contact with the wall and he slid down it until he was 
sitting on the floor.  He buried his face in his hands, sobs shaking his 
shoulders.  Sam squatted down opposite him, touching his knee gently.  He 
tried to shake her off but she relented, moving her hand up to grip his 
shoulder.

"Jack, I know you didn't hurt me intentionally," she whispered, leaning 
in closer to him.  She gripped his wrists, pulling them away from his 
face.  He gave a little pained moan before she noticed the swelling of 
his left wrist and loosening her grip. "Jack, look at me," she told him 
forcefully.

His head snapped up, sad eyes focusing on hers.  Letting go of his hands 
she reached up to cup his face, wiping the tears away with her thumbs.  
She couldn't think of what to say to him that might calm him down.  It 
felt so good to be touching him, to have him there in front of her, and 
not just in her imagination.  She said the words that she wanted to say 
to him for the last two months, her voice thick with unshed tears.  

"I love you Jack.  I'm so glad your back with me."

His face lit up; relief flooding his features as a fresh bout of tears 
filled his eyes.  Sam shifted so she was kneeling in front of him and 
pulled him forward into her arms.  His arms wrapped around her, and 
finally she felt complete.  She melted into his arms, sobbing with him as 
she released two months worth of pent up grief.

                         *******************

Janet looked down at the sleeping form of the Colonel, a frown creasing 
her forehead.  How he had managed to survive his ordeal was beyond her.  
She rubbed at her eyes tiredly; it was going to take months for his body 
to heal.  Who knew how long it would take for his mind to heal too?  He 
was lucky to be alive.  

She slid down in the seat next to his bed warily and closed her eyes.  It 
was only the beginning, they were still running tests to try and get an 
idea of the extent of his injuries.  His CAT scan almost made her heart 
stop.  Apart from the more obvious injuries, the broken wrist, his 
shattered face, the CAT scan had shown breaks that were almost healed, 
breaks that he had had to cope with without the aid of medicine.

They had to wait for specialists to arrive before they could deal with 
most of his injuries.  As much as she hated to admit it, some of his 
wounds were beyond her skill to heal, so she had commissioned the help of 
some of the best orthopedic surgeons in the country.

The hard part was going to be keeping him calm until the specialists 
arrived.  She didn't want to have to resort to sedating him, but if it 
came down to it she might have to.  Sam was the only person who seemed to 
be able to reach him, but she couldn't be with him all the time.

Janet's eyes opened.  //Had they found her yet?//  Sam had disappeared 
shortly after hearing the results of the CAT scan.  Teal'c, Daniel and 
Jacob had been scouring the base for more than an hour trying to find 
her.  Janet was more than a little worried for her friend; her only 
relief was she had been able to examine the damage to Sam's throat before 
she had disappeared.

She knew this must be hitting Sam hard.  After so long waiting for Jack 
to be found, seeing the state he was in, his memory loss.  They all knew 
it was going to be a long, hard road to recovery for him.  Janet knew 
that Sam had to be scared that Jack would have lost something of himself 
as a result.

Janet had high hopes for Jack's recovery though.  He was a fighter, he 
always had been.  She had seen his files, she knew that he had been to 
the edge of hell and come back several times.  This time was different 
too, this time he had motivation and support in the form of Samantha 
Carter and their unborn child.  He would pull through.  He would be back 
to himself before they knew it.

A head peeked through the curtain, startling her until she realized it 
was Daniel. "Did you find her?" she asked before he had a chance to 
speak.

Daniel smiled and stepped into the cubicle, his gaze drifting to Jack's 
sleeping form. "Yeah, she was up on the surface.  Jacob found her; he's 
with her now in her quarters."

Janet let out a let sigh of relief.  She watched Daniel as he stepped up 
to the bed and looked sadly down at his friend.  He reached out 
cautiously and touched the undamaged side of Jack's face. "I didn't 
believe we would ever get him back alive Janet," he whispered sadly. "Is 
he going to be okay?"

Standing, Janet closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around 
his waist. "It's Jack, Daniel, of course he'll be okay.  He'll bounce 
back just like he always does," she replied optimistically.

"Of course he will," a voice scoffed.  

Turning they watched as Sam entered the cubicle, her eyes red and puffy 
from crying.  Janet's eyes drifted down to the ugly red marks on her 
throat, it was just bruising, but it was a frightening sight.  Jack had 
done that, in a fit of confusion and fear.

Sam's eyes were glued to Jack.  She crossed the cubicle and took his hand 
in her own, perching herself in the seat next to his bed. "Has there been 
any change?"

"No," Janet replied. "But he's exhausted, so there's no telling when he 
might wake up."

"Yeah I know," Sam sighed, her gaze never wavering from Jack. "Can we be 
alone please?"

"Sure," Janet replied, taking a firm grip of Daniel's arm and pulling him 
behind her. "You know where I am if you need me."  She called behind her 
as she made her way out of the cubicle.

                         *******************

Jack woke to a sensation that he had not felt for as long as he could 
remember ... no pain.  The pain was still there, throbbing away but its 
intensity had been shaved away so it was no more than a minor annoyance.  
For a fleeting moment he wondered if he was dead, then a memory flashed 
before him.

Sam.  He was back with her.  The men at his prison had told him the truth 
when they told him they were taking him back to her.  He was home now, if 
only he could remember what that home was.  The faces were all familiar 
to him, he felt like he should know them, but he didn't.

He stretched slightly, and regretted the movement.  Pain arched through 
him for a brief moment before he stilled himself.  His movement was 
enough to feel something unexpected at his fingertips.  Hair.  He opened 
his eyes, tilting his head to the side enough to find out who it was.

The short blonde hair told him who it was instantly.  It was a little 
longer than it was in his memories, but it was her all the same.  Her 
face was looking away from him, but by her breathing he guessed she was 
asleep.

His eyes drifted around the room, taking in everything around him.  The 
room was bare, except for the bed he was laying on, the chair Sam was 
sitting on and the strange equipment around his bed.  There was only one 
wall at his head, and three curtains acting as walls.  He wasn't in a 
cell.  //Where am I?//

There was something familiar about the room; something tickled the back 
of his mind, telling him that he knew this place.  He couldn't put a name 
to it, couldn't remember anything about it.  The only thing he knew was 
that he felt safe here.  Nothing could harm him here.

Sighing, he closed his eyes, he was so tired.  The glinting of something 
metal flashed through his mind.  He could almost feel its startling cold 
in contrast to the fire in his body as it scraped threateningly against 
his chest.  He bit his lip, trying to bit back the frustration that he 
felt, trying to prepare himself for the pain that was to follow.  A moan 
escaped his lips.  Something touched his chest, not a knife ... a hand.  
He let out a shout, jerking his body away from it.

"Jack!"  The voice was urgent and insistent.

His eyes shot open, he was looking up at Sam.  Her eyes were wide with 
worry and surprise; her hand was on his chest.  He lay there gasping for 
breath, unwilling to close his eyes.  Sam's eyes held him; just looking 
at them helped to steady his breathing.

"Are you okay Jack?  What happened?"

Jack took her hand in his, more to convince himself that she was actually 
there and not just a figment of his imagination.  He smiled in relief 
when she squeezed his hand comfortingly. "Memories," he replied quietly, 
finally finding his voice.  It still felt strange to talk.

A clicking sound interrupted his thoughts, it was getting closer.  One of 
the curtains swung open and a petite brunette in a white overcoat stepped 
in.  She, like everyone and everything else looked familiar.  He had seen 
her the night before.

"What happened?" the brunette asked, moving closer to the bed, studying 
Jack with concern.  Instinctively, Jack shied away from her. "It's okay 
Jack, I'm not going to hurt you.  Don't you remember me?"

Jack shook his head, glancing up at Sam. "No," he muttered, clutching at 
Sam's hand like it was his lifeline.

"That's okay Jack.  I'm Dr Fraiser ... Janet," she replied gently, a 
smile on her face. "Now, what happened?"

"He said it was memories.  I think he was having a flashback or 
something," Sam supplied.

"Oh," Janet replied.

Janet's attention shifted back to Jack.  She smiled warmly, but he could 
see it was forced.  A word popped into his head as he shied back further 
from her.  Needles.  He pushed himself back, feeling the edge of the bed 
under his palm and unable to explain the sudden, irrational, dislike that 
he was feeling.

"No needles ... please."

Janet looked at him, a mildly surprised expression on her face.  She 
smiled slowly,"Don't worry Jack, no needles."  She glanced quickly at 
Sam, flashing a quick, almost imperceptible grin. "The specialists will 
be arriving within the hour to fix the damage to your face."

Unconsciously, Jack's hand drifted to his cheek.  Sometimes he forgot 
about it.  Pain had been such a constant companion to him that he had 
stopped paying attention to each individual ache; it was easier for him 
to deal with it all as a whole.  He knew he probably would have gone nuts 
if he hadn't dealt with it that way.  He'd probably have given up and 
died.

"How?" he mumbled.

Janet sighed; perching herself down on Sam's vacated seat.  Jack didn't 
shrink away from her.  He lowered his eyes self-consciously.  He hadn't 
seen his face for a long time, but it felt swollen and bloated with the 
numbness.

"I don't exactly know what they'll do Jack," she replied, her voice 
drawing his eyes back to her. "We may not know for certain until they 
examine you, but depending on the damage to the bone they might have to 
insert a plate in your cheek."

Jack didn't understand most of what she had just told him, though one 
single thought reverberated through his mind. "Pain."

Janet shifted forward in her seat slightly, her face serious.  She 
reached out a hand and touched his knee gently.  He flinched, but didn't 
pull away; Sam seemed to trust her. "I won't lie to you Jack, there will 
be pain," she said frankly. "But we have medication that can ease the 
pain and it won't be any worse that what you've already suffered."

Jack nodded.  If Sam trusted her it was enough for him.  He loved her, he 
trusted her completely.  If she told him that someone was a friend, that 
he could trust them, he would believe her, even for that Jaffa that he 
had seen when he first got here.

                         *******************

Sam closed her eyes, resting her head back against the wall.  It was 
going to be a long wait, she knew that, but she was unwilling to move 
from where she was.  Everyone had told her to go home, to get some much-
needed rest, but she couldn't.  She had to know he was going to be okay.

Of course, she knew he was going to be.  He was in the hands of the best 
doctors the Air Force had to offer.  She was still apprehensive she 
couldn't help herself.  Jack was vulnerable at the moment, more than she 
had ever seen him, so naturally she felt the need to protect him.

She felt like she was a mass of confused and conflicting emotions at the 
moment.  She was relieved and overjoyed to have Jack back, but she had 
never expected him to be in the state he was.  Granted, he was improving 
rapidly since that first time she had seen him in the Observation Room, 
but his memory was still seemed no closer to being restored.

It was flattering and more than a little disconcerting that he could 
remember her, remember their baby, and yet could not remember any 
specific moments of the five years they had known each other, the four 
months that they were together.  Would he ever get his memories back?

That was her fear, that he would never remember the key moments that 
formed their friendship, molded their feelings into what they were today.  
The day she kissed him in the locker room, the time they were stuck in 
Antarctica, the Zatarc incident, Jonah and Thera, Jack being forced to 
kill her when she was possessed by the entity.  They were all integral to 
the unique and loving relationship they had formed, yet all he could 
remember were his feelings for her and not the moments that had nurtured 
those feelings.

Janet had assured her that it was the trauma, the no doubt constant 
injuries to his skull that had caused the amnesia.  She was confident 
that his memories would come back in time, especially after he remembered 
his aversion to Janet and needles.  Sam wanted to know how long it was 
going to take, and if there was anything that she could do to help it 
along.

Opening her eyes, she stood as an idea struck her.  Maybe she should go 
home and rest, and bring back some mementos of Jack's past when she came 
back in.  Surely they might help bring his memories back.  With a sense 
of purpose she left the mountain and headed back home.

                         *******************

The woman was watching him, a cold smile on her beautiful face, and an 
evil gleam in her eyes.  Her eyes shifted quickly to the huge man 
standing next to him and moments later the pain increased a hundredfold.  
He gasped; barely managing to keep himself from losing consciousness as 
he felt like he was being torn limb from limb.

"Cry out," she taunted cruelly. "Yell.  Beg for mercy!"  Her eyes flashed 
yellow, she laughed malevolently.

It was a trick; he had fallen for it before.  He would cry out and the 
pain would only increase until he passed out from it.  He wasn't going to 
fall for it this time.  She barked something Goa'uldish in that deep, 
unsexy voice and a Jaffa stepped forward carrying the Goa'uld version of 
a cattle prod.

Jack could barely bite back the moan of terror that the sight of the 
weapon caused in him; sweat broke out all over his body.  He already 
anticipated the pain he would feel when it was pressed against his bare 
flesh – it was like being punched in the gut, only worse, because it felt 
like your whole body was on fire, like you were being torn apart with an 
electrical shock.  Then the convulsions started.

The Jaffa raised the prod, pointing it towards Jack's throat, as he 
loomed menacingly closer.  His eyes mirrored the sadistic look of his 
Queen as he inched ever closer.  The prod raised even higher, pressing 
against his cheek.

"No!" Jack yelled, thrashing his suddenly unshackled body.  He realized 
his eyes were closed, and the pain he felt was different from what it 
should have been.  It was more centralized, and he felt groggy and 
nauseous.

He opened his eyes experimentally, expecting to find Bastet's pernicious 
face hovering above his gleefully.  He sighed gratefully when his eyes 
were not met with that, but with the angelic face of the woman he loved.  
He sank back into his pillows and closed his eyes trying to calm himself, 
trying to control his breathless panting and the terrified shaking of his 
body.

A weight settled on the bed, a hand gripped his firmly. "Jack ... honey.  
It's okay.  It was just a dream baby," her voice told him soothingly.  He 
could feel her moving, then her other hand started smoothing his hair.  A 
kiss was pressed to his forehead. "Do you want to tell me what the dream 
was about?"

"No," Jack replied shortly, opening his eyes.  He vowed to himself that 
he would never tell her how he was tortured; it would upset her too much.  
It upset him to even think about it.

Sam's expression was laced with concern, but she seemed to understand.  
She leaned forward and brushed her lips across his forehead again. "How 
are you feeling?  Is there any pain?"

Jack closed his eyes, realizing that there was no pain, just the same 
numb sensation that he had grown accustomed to.  His stomach turned 
threateningly. "No pain," he mumbled. "Numb.  Feel sick ... sleepy."

He didn't want to sleep again, ever.  Sleep only brought with it 
nightmares, nightmares of things that he wanted to forget, not to have 
them constantly dredged up for him to relive over and over again.  He 
wanted to fall asleep and dream of his life before the torture, the life 
he couldn't remember.

"Why don't you go back to sleep then?" she suggested softly.

Jack shook his head.  His eyes slid shut unwillingly and he forced them 
back open. "Nightmares," he whispered.  He was so tired.  //I can't go 
back to sleep!//

Sam shifted herself on the bed, barely managing to fit her body on it 
next to him.  Propping herself against his pillows, she wrapped her arms 
around him, drawing him closer, guiding his head against her shoulder. 
"Go to sleep, Jack.  I'll be right here."

She began humming softly, a tune that he recognized but could not name.  
He turned his face into her chest, listening to the sound of her heart 
beating, relaxed by the sound of her gentle humming.  His eyes slid shut 
of their own accord and he drifted into a peaceful, dreamless, slumber.

                         *******************

Jack sat propped up against the raised bed, the pillow cushioning his 
aching back. Sam sat next to him on the bed, holding his hand, as she 
cradled the stack of pictures with her other. He was looking at the 
photos, or rather the faces in the photos, like it was the first time. 

Sam said it should help him remember, but he doubted that. No one looked 
familiar. Well except for the few people that kept coming to his room to 
check on him. He knew their names, but that was it. Daniel. Janet. 
Teal'c. The photos meant nothing to him, the names even less.

He stopped whenever he came across a photo of Sam. The image always took 
his breath away. He would then lean over and place a kiss on Sam's lips 
to assure himself that she was real. That he wasn't dreaming again. 

It was agonizing that he couldn't remember his life. All his memories 
were gone. All except Sam. He remembered her. Or rather, he remembered 
what he felt for her. His love for her was something he could never 
forget. No matter what.

A new face appeared in the next photo. A young girl. She looked vaguely 
familiar. Why? 

"Who's that?" Jack asked indicating the girl. 

Sam's eyes met his, and just a flash of surprise. "You don't remember?"

Jack shook his head sadly as he returned his eyes to the photo. "Is 
she...my daughter?" His voice faded into a whisper. 

Sam laughed lightly and he jerked his head up. He couldn't resist smiling 
in turn. 

"Not exactly," she said. "She, ah, we rescued her from a dying planet. 
And she really took to you. Janet adopted her. We all had a hand in 
raising her though."

"What's her name?" He asked quietly. 

"Cassandra. Cassie."

Images flashed through his head. 

**

Several hundred feet below ground. A dark, dense, and abandoned missile 
silo. He was facing an elevator. Sam was standing there holding a little 
girl.

Cassie. 

"I can take her from here now, Captain."

"No, sir, it's okay." Sam looked into his eyes.

The elevator doors closed but not before he caught a glimpse of the 
sorrow written on Sam's face. The elevator descends further into the 
complex. 

He sees the elevator stop at the very bottom. Minutes passed. Long 
agonizing minutes. She should be done by now, he thought. The light on 
the elevator started ascending again. 28...27...26...27...28.... Wait a 
minute here. What was going on?

"Jack, she's going back down." He hears someone say beside him.

"The hell she is." He hits the speaker button. "Captain Carter?" No 
answer. "Captain Carter!?"

A heavy feeling filled his gut. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He talks 
into the speaker again. "Sam, do you read me?" 

"Colonel, I'm staying." He hears tears in her voice. What's happened? 
Something was terribly wrong.

He couldn't let her do that. She was putting herself in unnecessary 
danger. "Negative."

"Colonel, she's awake." He heard her choke on a sob. *Oh God*!  His 
thoughts were echoed audibly beside him.

Silence again. He had to keep trying. "Captain, Carter. I am ordering you 
to get back up here, right now." He had to get her back up here. "Right 
now!"

The silence lapses into the deep undulating abyss of nothingness. He 
looks at his watch. The time ticks down. 59...58...57. He urges the 
people standing next to him to leave while they still can. Daniel? 
Teal'c? They refuse to leave. He glances back to the elevator hoping 
against hope that the numbers will start moving again. They don't. His 
eyes return to his watch. He speaks unconsciously, not even sure what he 
is saying. His mind is focused elsewhere. 10...9...8. Oh God! They can't 
die. She can't die.

3...2...1.

His watch beeped. And ... nothing.
Maybe they were wrong about the time. Maybe they were wrong about what 
would happen. His thoughts are voiced again by Daniel. 

He hits the speaker again, his hand shaking, hopefully unnoticeably. 
"Captain Carter, can you hear me?" Still no answer. "Sam, can you here 
me?" He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice. 

"Were okay, nothing happened. Cassandra's fine, I'm fine, it didn't 
happen. I just...I couldn't leave her, sir." Sam said through her tears. 

She couldn't leave her.

**

Jack was pulled out of his memories like being yanked backwards through a 
wormhole. He was drenched in sweat and shivering. His head was exploding. 
He heard a voice through the ringing in his ears. Sam. 

He opened his eyes that he didn't know were closed and stared into Sam's 
face. She looked scared. He couldn't blame her. He was pretty freaked out 
himself. He sat there for a moment, unmoving. Only his eyes shifting 
amongst his surroundings.

"Jack?" Sam whispered standing in front of her.

Somehow he had managed to get out of bed and was standing on the cold 
floor of the private infirmary room. He was in a defensive, yet harmless 
stance. Sam had that wide-eyed look on her face. The one he'd seen so 
many times since he'd come back. If this was this bad for him, it 
couldn't be any better for her. 

He stepped backwards and collapsed on the bed. He held his head in his 
hands. Too many things were spinning through his head. 

"Jack?" Sam's voice was closer, right beside him.

He felt her arms go around him. Her lips were right next to his ear, 
whispering consoling and loving words. When his headache subsided, he 
removed his hands from his head and put them around Sam's comforting 
body.

Touched by Sam's patience with him, he felt she deserved to know what 
just happened. Or at least try to tell her. As he was really kind of lost 
himself. 

"I remembered something." His voice was barely above a whisper.

Sam pulled back slightly and looked at him waiting for his response. 
"What did you remember?"

"Cassie. When we took her to that missile silo. And you didn't leave her 
behind. I was so scared for both of you. I couldn't lose either of you. I 
couldn't lose you." He dropped his eyes from hers as emotion overtook 
him.

Sam sat there stunned. She was amazed that that one memory had stuck out 
in his mind. That he'd had feelings for her back then was somewhat 
surprising. She had only begun to become aware of her attraction to him 
at the time, uncertain as to what she did feel. She had only just become 
accustomed to his authoritative decisions and strength in the short time 
that they had been assigned together. When she had to reject his command 
and go with her own instincts, it nearly killed her. But she had to do 
it; she couldn't leave Cassie, a sick, scared, lonely little girl, 
behind. If she had to make the decision again, she wouldn't do it 
differently. If she'd known then what Jack had felt for her the decision 
would have been a bit more difficult, however.

She brought her hands to his face to bring his eyes to meet hers. Turmoil 
and tears were roiling around inside, fighting for domination. 

"But you knew I had to do it. Didn't you, Jack?" she asked, her voice 
soft. 

"I knew. I would have done the same thing. I just never wanted you put in 
danger. I know it sounds stupid. I'm sure when we signed up for this job 
we knew there'd be risks, but I just..." Jack drifted off, his eyes 
closing momentarily.

"You just felt you should have done more," Sam said finishing his 
thought. 

Jack opened his eyes meeting hers again, a single tear slid down his 
cheek. "Yeah."

Sam gathered him into her arms, cherishing the feel of his own arms 
around her. At the moment she didn't care that she was the one offering 
comfort. She had been without his embrace for so long that anything was 
good enough for her right then. She knew that it would take quite a while 
for Jack to heal. His body would be back in shape in no time, but his 
mind...that was another story. His mind was in a fragile state. Not only 
was he going to have to recover from emotional trauma, but he would have 
to regain his memory also. She could only imagine what it was like to 
have a jigsaw memory, and having to battle to put everything back into 
place.

She was going to be there every step of the way. She would be there for 
him as he had been for her when she had lost her vision.

It wasn't because she felt indebted to him, but because she loved him.

                         *******************

Jack, still confined to bed rest, was starting to get restless. His lunch 
tray was sitting in front of him nearly untouched. Occasionally he would 
pick at some mystery morsel with his fork, although it never reached his 
mouth. 

He had urged Sam to go home and get some rest, but she refused. She did 
however; concede to going to the commissary to grab a bite to eat.

That left him alone with his thoughts and memories; or lack thereof. He 
winced as he thought about it. His head hurt from trying to remember 
things. The only solid thing he remembered was of Cassie. Then he 
recalled the flashes of Sam he'd gotten while still in Bastet's clutches. 
They seemed like memories, but he wasn't sure. He didn't have anything 
substantial to rely on. He would have to ask Sam about it, she could tell 
him.

He tossed his fork down for the umpteenth time, and this time pushed the 
tray and cart out of reach. He leaned back, resting his head against his 
pillow and closed his eyes. He had a massive headache. Maybe when that 
doctor came back ... What was her name ... Fraiser ... I'll ask her to 
give me something for it. Just as long as it isn't a shot, he added as an 
afterthought. 

The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he was mentally transported 
to another place. And another time?

**

A dark room. He tried to move, but his body wasn't cooperating. It was 
too hard to move. He dropped his head from pain and fatigue, and saw he 
was sitting on a cot. 

A noise from the opposite side of the room caught his attention. He 
jerked his head up, which turned out to be a bad thing to do. The window 
panel in the door was slid open, letting in a small shaft of light. The 
door opens shortly thereafter.

A military guard and an infirmary orderly carry in a stocky, bald man in 
a straight jacket. 

"Sorry Colonel O'Neill, but your private room just became semi-private."

Jack follows the voice in the still somewhat darkened room. A woman is 
framed in the doorway, her white lab coat distinguishing her status and 
importance.

He remained silent, unsure of what was happening. He couldn't think 
straight. His mind was a muddled mess. 

"We're running out of places to put all the victims. We've used the 
brigs, we've used the temp quarters; some of the storage rooms..." She 
spoke, her explanation drifting off into a frustrated sigh. She starts to 
walk towards the door, when he tries to speak. 

It's so hard to speak. His throat feels dry and constricted and he can't 
think.

"Doc...doc..." He finally manages to croak out.

The doctor stops and turns to face him. "Did you say something?"

Feeling confident that he had her attention, he tried once more. 

"Give...more..."

Oh, it hurt so badly. Why did he hurt so badly? He dropped his head, once 
again overcome with pain. A shadow loomed overhead.

"What? Give more what?" He heard her ask clearly confused. She kneeled 
down in front of him. 

He looked into her eyes, needing her to understand. 

"More..."He held his arm out, gesturing for relief from the pain. 

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "An injection? You mean you want more 
sedative? You've already had more than the maximum safe dosage. Twice as 
much as anyone else because you've been more violent."

"Give."

She stood up. "No. It's not safe."

"GIVE," He yelled, but it soon dropped to a whisper. 

"Why are you so insistent?"

He can't respond, only to hold out his arm again. The doctor sighs as she 
gives in to his request. The orderly steps up with an injection at her 
request. She kneels down in front of him again and rolls up the sleeve of 
his shirt. She taps her fingers on his arm to find the appropriate place 
to insert the needle. He watches as the needle is inserted into his arm. 
The sedative was slowly released into his bloodline. He drops his head 
again as he loses all control of his senses.

Through the fog in his mind he hears the doctor talking. "...must have 
been in a lot of pain."

The fog clears suddenly and he jerks his head up and focuses on the 
doctor. "Docccccc......"

The doctor whips around and stares at him. "Colonel O'Neill?"

He moves his head up and down trying to force the words out of his 
muddled brain and out of his mouth. Somehow he managed to tell her an 
affirmative answer.

The doctor...Doctor Fraiser...kneeled down in front of him. She smiles at 
him, realizing that it is indeed him. "So you are still in there 
somewhere."

His throat is still constricted, but he can think somewhat better. 
"Dream...dream?" He asks, confused. 

Fraiser looks at him solemnly. "I'm afraid not, Colonel, it's very real. 
This is interesting...sedative must knock back the primitive mind. 
Colonel, listen to me. I am not going to be able to keep you at this 
level for very long. It is too dangerous. It could cause permanent brain 
damage."

He can make out most of what she was saying. "What? Wha-- what is it?"

He can see her mouth moving but he can't hear anything. He mentally pulls 
himself together. He strains his ears, so he can concentrate on what she 
was saying. 

"It's a parasitic virus. All we can tell is that it seems to mess with 
body chemicals - all of them. Testosterone levels skyrocket, thus the 
aggressive behavior. It's a histamine-alytic, which means it breaks down 
histamine."

He got an idea. He really hoped she would take it, because he was going 
crazy. "Experiment."

Fraiser looks bewildered and Jack tries to explain the best that he can. 
"Experiment. On... me."

"Experiment on you?" Fraiser shakes her head, clearly understanding what 
he is talking about now. "No Sir I can't do that." She drops her head.

Jack reaches out his hand and lifts her chin, forcing her eyes to his. He 
had to make her understand. 

"Use me." 

Fraiser drops her head. She reaches her hand out and takes hold of his 
hand.

**

Jack flashed out of the memory, shaking and gripping the guardrails.  He 
gasped for breath; the image had come in such a breathless rush.  He 
closed his eyes, forcing himself to take deep, shuddering breaths.

"Are you alright Jack?" a woman's voice said from the doorway.

His eyes shot open to find Janet standing framed in the door.  She took a 
cautious step forward, her expression concerned.  Jack couldn't think 
straight.  He watched her step deeper in the room, moving closer to him.

"I can trust you," he murmured, more to himself than her.

Her brow furrowed with puzzlement. "Jack, what's wrong?"  She was 
standing at his bedside now.  She looked like she was ready to reach out 
and touch him, but something held her back at the last instant.

Hesitantly he reached out and touched her hand, the tips of his fingers 
brushing the back of her hand. "I...I...remember you. I can trust you."

                         *******************

Sam made her way to Jack's quarters. Janet had wanted to keep a close eye 
on Jack after his surgery, however he was becoming restless. He no longer 
wanted to stay in the infirmary, so Janet agreed to partially releasing 
him. He still was required to remain on base for observation, but she 
permitted him to move to his private quarters, as they were more 
comfortable. 

His door was closed when Sam reached it, and she didn't want to wake him 
if by chance he was asleep. She turned the knob quietly and stepped into 
the room.

The soft light of the bedside lamp cast a surreal glow on the room. Her 
eyes went immediately to the bed. Not seeing Jack there, she scanned the 
room until she spotted him sitting in the chair in the corner. 

Jack's eyes were closed, and he was slumped in the chair appearing to be 
asleep. In fact he looked quite uncomfortable. But any sleep was better 
than no sleep, Sam thought.

She took a blanket off of the bed and draped it across his shoulders. She 
kissed him gently on the forehead when he spoke. 

"You know, you were with me every night." Sam had to strain to hear him; 
he said it so softly. 

"What?" She didn't understand what he was talking about.

"When I was ... captured ... you were with me." Jack opened his eyes. 
They connected with hers, and it was as if he could see clear to her 
soul. 

He went on. "I didn't know who you were most of the time. I just knew I 
loved you. And that you loved me. Whenever I was...hurting...you were 
there with me ... smiling at me ... loving me."

Sam hung his every word. She wasn't sure what to think. Jack hadn't 
really talked about the time he was in captivity. He had been avoiding 
the entire subject. But this...this was something new. Something that she 
didn't know how to take. She was fascinated, yet bemused.

Jack took her hands in his and drew her onto his lap. She was stiff at 
first, not wanting to hinder his healing injuries. He wrapped his arms 
around her and held her close. Sam remained silent feeling Jack's need to 
enlighten her. 

"The baby...I felt our baby. When you were with me. I felt it move inside 
you. I thought it was just a silly dream, but it wasn't. I knew...somehow 
I knew it was real." Jack moved one of his hands under her shirt to rest 
on her swollen stomach. He sighed contentedly when the baby moved against 
his hand. 

Sam went still. She'd had a dream several weeks' back. She dreamt that 
Jack was with her and he had felt the first time the baby moved. But she 
had pushed it away, dismissing it as nothing more than a grief concocted 
dream. But was it really? Jack just described it to her...could it have 
been more than a dream? A way they had somehow connected from across the 
galaxies?

Just that one gesture moved Sam to tears. She had tried to be strong for 
Jack these past couple of weeks, but it was all too much. Just a few 
hours ago she didn't know how much longer she could handle it. Seeing 
Jack day in and day out, so fragile, so...broken was nearly enough to 
cause her to break down herself. But she had held strong, for his sake. 
She couldn't let him see how this was affecting her.

Jack reached up and wiped at the tears gathering on her cheeks. "Sam 
please don't cry." He whispered. 

"I can't...I'm sorry...Jack" She managed between sobs. 

"You don't have to be sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean to make you cry." He 
said holding her closer. 

"You didn't. It's just...everything...so much is happening. I don't know 
what to do. I should, but I don't."

"Sam, you shouldn't be worrying about all this. I'm gonna be okay. I know 
it will take a while...but...it will happen. What you need to do is 
concentrate on this baby. You need to keep your strength up and get 
enough rest. You only have four more months till this little one gets 
here and you need to take it easy. Don't worry about me so much, I'll be 
okay, really." He said smiling down at her. 

"Oh, Jack, I just want things to be normal again." Sam said against his 
neck, her sobbing having subsided to sniffles. 

"Hey now, when has our lives ever been normal, since we met." He ran his 
finger under her chin, getting him a smile. 

"True." She said around a giggle. "I just want things to go better than 
they have been. I would never complain if our lives were ever boring from 
now on."

"Boring? You expect to have a boring life with me? I'm hurt!" Jack said 
in mock seriousness. 

"Okay, let's just say, less eventful then. I guess once we have a baby 
though our lives will be anything but that."

"That's for sure. I can't wait to be a Daddy. This baby is going to know 
it's loved; I'll make sure of it. It's not every day that a guy gets this 
lucky ya know." He commented.

Sam wondered if Jack remembered at all about Charlie. Did he remember 
that this wasn't the first time he was a father? Should she tell him? And 
if she did, could he handle it, in the precious state of mind he was in 
currently. Sam decided not to say anything. Something like that...well, 
that was something he should probably remember on his own. 

She did remember what she had come to tell Jack about though. It would 
lift his spirits no doubt.

"Jack? I have some good news. Janet is releasing you tomorrow. She said 
that you have shown incredible improvement with your surgeries and 
rehabilitation that she's letting you go home." Sam said hoping Jack 
would be pleased. 

"Ahh, sweet. I am so ready to get outta here. Any place would be better 
than stuck inside these metal walls hundreds of feet below the surface. 
And if you're gonna be there...then nothing could be better than that." 
Jack placed a kiss on Sam's lips.

                         *******************

Sam gripped Jack's hand firmly in her own as she led him up the walk to 
the front door of their home.  She could feel his constant motion, his 
head darting from side to side, eyes roaming to take in everything around 
him.  

She could sense his frustration that he couldn't remember this place any 
better than anything else.  She knew what he was feeling at the moment, 
she knew that whilst everything and everyone had a sense of familiarity 
to him, that was all he had.  There were no firm, pertinent, memories, 
nothing absolute except for the occasional flashes of particularly 
poignant moments from his past.

Releasing his hand for a moment, she hastily unlocked and opened the door 
before taking it again, offering him a comforting smile at the same time.  
She could see him getting increasingly nervous, his grip on her hand 
tightening.

Sam stepped inside, pulling him with her.  His eyes were darting about 
the entranceway, his shoulders slumping slightly.  He looked almost 
childlike, his eyes wide and inquisitive on his still pale face.  She 
could see that nothing in the hall was sparking a memory, but she had 
expected that.

She led him deeper into the house.  She had already formed in her mind 
which rooms were most likely to elicit those memories; she planned on 
taking him to those rooms first.  They stepped down into the living room 
and Sam let go of his hand to allow him the chance to move around the 
room unhindered and look at the mementos of his past that were gathered 
there.  She settled into the armchair and watched him.

His movements were slow and deliberate.  He edged around the room 
quietly, slowly taking in each ornament, each piece of furniture and 
adornment.  His hands remained at his side, his posture stiff and self-
conscious.  

Sam could feel herself tensing more and more the further around the room 
he got.  She was doing everything she could think of to try and kick-
start his memories; even this didn't seem to be working.  She closed her 
eyes for a moment, trying to suppress her own frustration at the 
situation.  She felt so helpless.  

A strangled moan tore her eyes back open.  Jack had made it to the 
hearth; he stood rooted in place, his eyes glued to the photo that they 
had argued about so many months before.  She didn't know what to do.  Was 
he remembering something?  He was standing so still, so rigid, that if it 
wasn't for the movement of his chest you could have taken him for a 
statue.  She didn't move; she couldn't. She didn't want to risk 
interrupting him if he was in fact remembering something.

When he did finally move it was so quick and sudden that he startled her.  
Snatching the picture off the wall, he crossed the room in two large 
steps.  His eyes were wild, his expression furious and hurt, his face was 
red and he was shaking with barely suppressed emotion.  He towered above 
her, forcing her to crane her neck to look up at him and brandishing the 
frame in a white knuckled grip.

"How could you not tell me Sam?" he bit out with a ferocity she hadn't 
heard from him before. "How could you not have warned me what happened to 
my son?"

His voice was strangled; he was fighting back tears.  Looking ready to 
tear the place apart, he raised his arm and brought it down forcefully, 
releasing the frame at the bottom of the arch.  It struck the floor with 
a resounding crash.  She barely flinched, knowing that even in a rage he 
wouldn't hurt her.  She held his angry gaze, not even glancing at the 
shattered picture, though the action had surprised her deeply.  Jack was 
not a violent man.

Sam couldn't answer him, partly because she couldn't find her voice and 
partly because she had no answer for him.  How would he feel if she told 
him that she didn't tell him because she thought the picture of Charlie 
would shock him into remembering something?

Her mouth opened and she snapped it shut again with an audible pop.  
Jack's face twisted in an array of emotions – sadness, pain, remorse, 
anger.  He turned quickly and stalked out of the living room.  Sam sat 
forward, grasping at the air where he had just been standing. "Jack, 
wait!" she called just as the door slammed shut behind him.

                         *******************

Jack had to get out of the house; he had to get away from the memories 
that had suddenly soared up at the sight of the picture of his son.  He 
had to get away from Sam.  He had to sort out the jumble of emotions that 
were suddenly roiling through his confused mind.  

He had no idea where he was going, but before he knew it he was 
scrabbling up a ladder and was standing on a little platform on the roof 
of his house.  He glanced around, his eyes sliding past the telescope to 
the chair, and he settled down in it silently.  He did not remember that 
he had this up here, but instinctively he had known it was here, that 
this was his sanctuary when he wanted to escape.

His body was aching, his cheek throbbing in a slow stabbing pain that was 
growing to be nearly unbearable.  It would have been, if he didn't have 
so much running through his mind distracting him.  //How could Sam have 
done that?  How could she have not told me?//

Unwillingly he closed his eyes and the memories flooded over him in a 
rush that left his head spinning.  Faces, places, sounds, voices spun 
around his mind quickly, with no form and no sequence.  He tried to slow 
the flow, try and make sense of the puzzle his mind was throwing up in 
front of him.

**

Jack walked slowly through the back yard, his eyes darting left to right 
searching for any sign of Charlie.  Tightening his grip on the baseball 
mitt in his hand, he turned his attention to the playhouse that Charlie 
lived in most days.

"Charlie?"  He called out. "Sorry I'm late ... stopped to get you 
something," he explained, banging the mitt against his palm.  He knew 
Charlie was probably angry with him.  He had promised to take him out to 
the park to play some ball three hours ago, but as usual Jack had been 
held up at the base and was late. "You there?"

Charlie raced out from behind the playhouse in a blur.  He raised his 
arms in front of him; something green and plastic gripped between his 
small hands. "You're dead!"

Jack started when he realized what it was, a tiny ball of dread forming 
in his stomach.  A gun.  Charlie was playing with a gun. "Where'd you get 
that?" he asked, surprise making the question a little gruffer than he 
had intended.

"Jeff Eisen gave it to me," Charlie answered defensively. "It's just a 
water gun."

Jack reached out and took the gun out of Charlie's hands.  He wasn't a 
strict father, but this was the only thing he and Sara had been adamant 
about.  They didn't want Charlie playing with guns. "It doesn't matter."

"You have a gun," Charlie argued.

Always the same.  Charlie always used this argument when it came down to 
guns, almost like he didn't understand that Jack's gun was a lot more 
dangerous, that it was a deadly weapon. "That's different," he replied 
flatly

"Why?"

Jack shook his head in frustration.  They had gone over this time and 
time again.  Why didn't he just listen?  Why didn't he realize that guns 
were dangerous?  

Charlie's face turned red, as if he knew what his father's answer was 
going to be.  Again.  He brushed past Jack.

"Charlie?" Jack turned in the direction Charlie was heading. "Charlie, 
where are you going?"

Charlie turned slowly, angrily. "Inside," he replied bitingly.  Turning 
on his heel he started running up the back stairs to the house.  He 
slammed the door shut behind him.

**

Jack gripped his head in his hands, fighting back the tears that were 
suddenly threatening.  They had argued about guns two weeks before the 
accident.  He remembered that now.  He remembered how Charlie had avoided 
him angrily for the rest of the evening, and whenever he had tried to 
bring the issue up Charlie would walk away.

Oh god.  Tears began to flow down his cheeks as he remembered how rotten 
he had felt after that argument.  But even in retrospect he knew that he 
wouldn't have handled it any differently.  

Another, more vibrant memory stuck in his mind.

**

Pulling his jeep up in the driveway, Jack quickly put it in park and 
hopped out, relieved to finally be home.  He had just been given a weeks 
leave, a week to spend with Sara and Charlie, doing all the family things 
that he always missed out on because of his work.

Sara was sitting on the front steps, pruning back a potted rose, basking 
in the last of the afternoon sunlight.  She looked radiant, she looked 
beautiful.  God he'd missed her.  Breaking into a jog he crossed the 
front yard and sat on the step next to her.  She was grinning at him; he 
couldn't help smiling back.  He pulled her into his arms and brushed a 
quick kiss across her lips.

"How was your day?"

Sara smiled one of her priceless smiles. "Fine," she replied, she reached 
behind her and picked something up. "Oh, look what came home from school 
today."

She handed Jack a photo and he took it.  He looked down and smiled.  
Charlie had been adamant that he wasn't going to have his photo taken 
that day.  He had kicked up such a fuss when they told him that he had 
to.  The photo was great.

"Is Charlie about ready?" he asked.  They had an appointment with the 
park that he intended to keep today.

"Yeah," Sara replied happily, looking around the yard for him. "He was 
running around here a few minutes ago."

The sound echoed through the neighborhood, reverberating in Jack's ears.  
It was a distinctive sound, but it took a moment for him to realize what 
it was.  His gaze shot to the window of his office.  The sound had come 
from in there.  A gun shot.

"Charlie!" Sara yelled, but it was indistinct.

Jack had already stood, automatically racing in the house and up the 
stairs as the sound still echoed through his ears.  The door to his 
office was closed.  He forced down the panic that suddenly roared up on 
him as he gripped the handle of the door, twisted and pushed.

The sight that confronted him would forever haunt him.  Charlie, lying on 
the floor, Jack's gun lying inches from his hand.  His eyes were drawn to 
the blood blossoming on his dying son's torn chest.

**

Jack gasped and opened his eyes.  He was unable to stop the tears that 
ran down his face, the sobs that shook his shoulders violently.  It hurt 
so much, like it was happening all over again, like he was experiencing 
it for the first time.

Arms slid around his shoulders, pulling him into their warm, comforting 
embrace.  He hadn't even heard Sam come up.  He couldn't be angry with 
her anymore; it didn't even seem consequential anymore.  He had lost his 
son, with his own weapon.

"Ssh baby," she whispered into his ear. "It's okay.  I'm so sorry Jack"

He wrapped his arms around her, and allowed himself to do the one thing 
that he had been unable to do back then, even with his wife.  He let it 
all out.

                         *******************

Sam had lost all track of time as she sat on the rooftop platform holding 
Jack in her arms.  She tried to fight back the nagging, pervading guilt 
that she felt.  She had caused this, by not telling him about Charlie she 
had caused him this pain.  She was also aware that he was allowing 
himself to release the feelings that he had kept pent up since Charlie 
had died.

Jack had been sobbing for what seemed like hours, though he had not 
spoken a word.  She knew that he needed to get it out, that he was 
releasing seven years worth of pain and heartache, and that it was only 
the beginning of mending the rift in his heart.  If he was finally 
willing to confront his demons now, she knew it would take time for him 
to heal.  She would be there for him through it.

She closed her eyes and held him tighter in her arms.  She could only 
begin to imagine what it must have been like.  To outlive your own child, 
no parent should ever have to deal with a burden as great as that.  To 
have lost that child in such a senseless and tragic way ... she wasn't at 
all certain that she would be able to cope if it had happened to her 
child.

Jack gave a shuddering breath and pulled back slightly, enough to meet 
her eyes.  Her breath was taken away by the pain she saw shining in the 
depths of his eyes.  Her heart went out to him.  He looked so powerless 
and vulnerable.  She had never seen him look this way before.

Cupping his cheek with her hand, she caressed it slightly. "Do you want 
to tell me about what happened?" she whispered, leaning forward and 
brushing the lightest of kisses on his forehead.

His shoulders began shaking slightly.  She enveloped him in her arms; it 
was so hard seeing him like this and being completely unable to help him.  
He buried his face in her neck. "I've never told you about it, have I?" 
he asked, his voice slightly muffled.

Sam shook her head. "No.  I don't think you've really talked to anyone 
about what happened, Jack," she replied quietly. "But I knew you would 
tell me about it in your own time."

She could feel his lips move across her collarbone in a tiny smile. "Even 
if my own time meant years ... or never?"

"Yeah."

"It's just ... it hurts so much to even think about it," he told her, 
pulling away from her slightly.

"I know it does Jack," she responded,"but it helps to talk about it."

Sam moved away from him, wanting to give him space, to show him that she 
wasn't about to pressure him into talking to her-  to show him that she 
was willing to listen whenever he was willing to talk to her.  She held 
his hand, though, tightly in her own, hoping to offer comfort in that 
small way.

She watched him as he closed his eyes.  His face looked tormented, like 
he was reliving the moment again.  Fresh tears trailed down his cheeks.  
He opened them again, his dark eyes catching hers. "I killed him.  I 
killed my son."

The pain in his voice tore at her heart.  Holding his gaze, she gave his 
hand a little squeeze. "It was an accident, Jack.  You didn't kill him."

"It was an accident that shouldn't have happened," he grated angrily, 
tearing his hand out of hers. "I should have locked my gun away.  I 
shouldn't have even had one in the house!"

"Why?  I'll always have one in mine ... in ours."

"No you won't," he snapped coldly.

Sam could feel him withdrawing from her, drawing back into himself.  She 
couldn't let him do it.  It was what he had always done, shut the pain 
away to be dealt with later.  To never be dealt with. "Yes," she replied 
firmly. "I will.  I want my family to be safe.  I want to be able to 
defend myself if we're threatened."

"How can they be safe with a weapon in the house, Sam?" he asked his 
voice thick with disbelief. "I thought the same thing when Charlie was 
born and look what happened!  He found it ... he thought it was a toy, 
despite me and Sara telling him time and time again that guns were 
dangerous!"

"You weren't to know that he was going to find it," Sam said quietly.

Jack stood quickly, startling her.  Recrimination and anger flashed 
through his features. "I should have, Sam.  Two weeks before I told him 
off for playing with a stupid plastic water gun.  He didn't understand 
why he wasn't allowed to play with them.  We argued about it, but I 
couldn't make him understand."

His face crumpled and he turned away from her, his shoulders shaking 
slightly.  Sam was about to stand, was about to reach out to him when he 
spoke again. "If I had been home more, maybe I could have made him 
understand, but I wasn't.  He idolized me, not because I was his dad, but 
because I got to run around with a gun.  He wanted to be just like me."

His voice was quiet, the anger faded away and replaced by dejection.  Sam 
wanted so much to reach out and touch him, to try and take away the pain, 
but she knew she couldn't, that he wouldn't want her to. "But I never 
once thought that he would find my gun.  I had it hidden away up in my 
closet; I thought he would never be able to reach it up there.  I just 
didn't see it coming."

"That picture downstairs on the wall ... we got that that day.  Sara was 
showing it to me when we heard the gunshot.  I didn't even know what the 
sound was; it took me a while to realize.  When I got upstairs I ... he 
was just lying there.  He wasn't even crying ... he didn't make a sound, 
but his eyes were open, he knew what was happening."

"I couldn't move Sam, for the longest time I stood there trying to 
understand what I was seeing.  He looked so small; he was just a baby.  
When I did finally move, there was nothing I could do.  I held him in my 
arms.  I tried to stop the bleeding, there was just so much of it.  I 
held him all the way to the hospital.  I held him as he took that last 
breath and died."

His voice broke with emotion and he began sobbing again.  Sam quickly 
stood and closed the gap between them.  She turned him around and wrapped 
her arms around him, feeling her own tears prickling her eyelids. "I'm so 
sorry, Jack."

His arms locked behind her and he held her tightly against him like he 
never wanted to let her go.  She could feel his lips pressed against her 
collarbone, he kissed it softly. "Don't be sorry ... don't pity me, Sam," 
he murmured, his lips still brushing against her collarbone. "Parents 
aren't supposed to outlive their kids, but there's nothing you and I can 
do to change what happened to Charlie.  I have a second chance now Sam, 
and I'm not going to blow it."

Sam flushed slightly, trying to ignore the feelings that Jack's lips were 
inciting in her.  The fire in his voice offered her a small measure of 
relief, demolishing the small glimmer of fear that she felt that he might 
have given up on them.  She closed her eyes and let out the breath she 
hadn't realized she was holding. "I'll always be here for you Jack, 
whether you want to talk about it or just want me to hold you."

"I know that baby," he replied huskily, his hand drifting up to settle on 
the back of her neck.

She felt herself melting.  He hadn't called her that since he had gotten 
back.  Breaking the embrace she silently took his hand and led him down 
off the roof.  Maybe things were going to work out okay after all.

                         *******************

Jack's eyes burned.  He had been staring at the ceiling for what felt 
like hours, fighting a battle with eyelids that were growing heavier and 
heavier with each passing moment.  Sam's soft breathing was tickling his 
shoulder.  He could feel the soft swell of her belly pressed against his 
side, moving slightly as she breathed.  He ran his fingers in soft 
circles around the small of her back.  He loved touching her.

She muttered something unintelligible and rolled onto her back.  His eyes 
followed her, naked and exposed to him from the waist up.  He moved onto 
his side so he could look at her without having to worry about her 
getting self-conscious at the attention he was paying her.  Her growing 
belly; smooth, flawless skin; her perfect, pert breasts.  She was the 
most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and she was his.

He sighed, suddenly feeling the need to be doing something.  Sitting up 
slightly, Jack slid out of the bed, unable and unwilling to sleep, and 
careful not to wake the sleeping woman next to him.  Leaning across the 
bed, he brushed a kiss onto her cheek and tucked the blankets up to her 
chin.  She sighed softly and rolled over onto her side.

Tugging on a shirt and tracksuit pants, he padded quietly out of the 
bedroom.  He was exhausted, but he couldn't bring himself to let his eyes 
slide shut.  Sleeping meant dreams; it meant being painfully reminded of 
the atrocities that Bastet and her loyal Jaffa had done to him.  He never 
wanted to relive that again, he didn't even want to be reminded of it.

At least by not sleeping he had the opportunity to explore the house at 
his own pace, to see if anything triggered a memory.  If he wasn't going 
to sleep he might as well be doing something useful with his time.  
Stepping into the hall, he pulled the bedroom door shut behind him.

Glancing around him he slid a hand along the wall, instinctively seeking 
out the switch he knew was nestled there.  He flicked the switch, 
squinting as light suddenly flooded the hall.  He quickly turned the 
dimmer down, enough to illuminate the hall, without being blinded 
himself.

His gaze flickered around the hallway as he tried to decide where to 
begin his exploration.  His eyes were drawn to the closed door directly 
opposite their bedroom.  Something was tickling at the back of his mind; 
a thought niggling at him that he should know what this room was.  
Something told him that it was important.

The feeling spurring him on, he took a couple of steps across the hall 
and gripped the handle, wracking his brain to try and remember why this 
particular room felt so important to him.  When he realized that the 
answer wasn't just going to pop into his head, he turned the handle and 
pushed the door open.

Sliding his hand along the wall, he switched on the light and stood 
studying the room for a long time.  A wealth of images flashed into his 
mind in a breathless blur, confirming that his feeling had been right, 
that this room was important, not only to him but to Sam as well.

It was the baby's room, but not only that.  He had proposed to Sam in 
this room, the same night that he, Daniel and Teal'c had finished 
decorating it.  He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the memories.  
His search for the perfect ring and subsequently finding it, the very one 
that was now prominently displayed on her ring finger.  Decorating the 
room with Teal'c and Daniel.  His nervousness that night when he asked 
her to marry him.

Jack smiled at the memories.  He had known during his captivity that his 
feelings were very real, but with the lack of a specific memory to base 
them on he had wondered whether it was something his mind had conjured up 
to give him a reason to live.  He had returned to have the feelings 
validated, but still have no memory of their life together.  It was nice, 
though, to now remember some of the events that formed their 
relationship.

He loved her.  He loved their unborn child.

A soft knock at the door startled him, and the memories fled.  Who the 
hell was that?  Quickly, he left the room and rushed to the door before 
the person could knock on the door again, waking Sam.  He didn't want 
that, she needed the rest.  He pulled the door open and stopped a biting 
remark ready on his tongue.

"Uh ... Hi Jack."

"Daniel?" Jack asked uncertainly.  A visit from the younger man had been 
the last thing he had been expecting, especially at two o'clock in the 
morning.  He could see the hesitation in Daniel's youthful face, and he 
could read him enough to see that something was bothering him.  Why else 
would he be here now? "Bit late for a social call isn't it?"

Daniel flashed him a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes.  He 
shrugged,"Yeah I guess it is, but it looked like you were still up.  The 
lights were on."

Jack nodded as he stepped out of the doorway to let Daniel in. "Yeah, 
havin' trouble sleeping," he replied. "Coffee?"

He saw Daniel's eyes light up as he stepped into the hall and pulled the 
door shut behind him. "Please."

Leaving Daniel to remove his coat in the hall, Jack moved into the 
kitchen and started to prepare the coffees.  Somehow he had known that 
coffee was Daniel's vice.  He walked back into the living room shortly 
carrying two steaming mugs. He handed one to Daniel before he sat in his 
chair opposite the sofa. Daniel took a careful swig of the hot liquid 
then placed the mug on the coffee table in front of him. He leaned back 
against the sofa and exhaled deeply.

"So what brings you here so late Daniel?" Jack asked, naturally intrigued 
by the late call. "I mean, is this normal?  You coming around at some 
ungodly hour?"

Daniel smiled the first genuine smile Jack had seen from him tonight. 
"I've done it occasionally, you have too.  Besides, you were up anyway."

"Yeah I was." Jack replied quietly, lapsing into silence.  He could tell 
that Daniel had obviously come to talk to him about something, but he 
didn't feel right asking him what it was.  It seemed to him that Daniel 
wasn't ready to talk about what was bothering him anyway.

"You still don't remember me, do you Jack?" Daniel asked, breaking the 
silence, frustration lacing the disappointed tone in his voice.  He stood 
up from his seat and began pacing the length of the living room. "You 
don't remember the first Abydos mission, our first meeting.  Me staying 
behind on Abydos to be with Sha're?"

"Who's Sha're?"

Daniel stopped in mid-step, his eyes wide with surprise. "My wife Jack."

"Oh," Jack responded stupidly, his mind working overtime to process this 
new information. "Wife?  But what about Janet?"

Jack didn't miss the sad look that flittered across Daniel's face. "She's 
dead Jack," he muttered darkly,"but that's not the point.  The point is 
that we've been friends for years.  You've saved my life hundreds of 
times.  You've trusted me with your life..."

//You've trusted me with your life.//  He didn't hear the rest of what 
Daniel said.  The line struck a cord with him.  It sparked a memory.

**

He was hiding in the shadows, hoping that it would provide him enough 
cover.  A tenseness filled the temple grounds, he could feel it from 
Carter, could feel it in Teal'c's and Bratac's readiness.  They were 
outgunned and outnumbered, surprise was their only chance.

The footsteps echoed in the grounds as the Jaffa stepped through the 
entranceway to the Temple.  Jack watched from his vantage point as they 
walked straight down the main path, filled with their own sense of self-
importance.  

It was then Jack noticed the Monk standing in front of the main door to 
the temple.  This was not going to be good.  With a nagging sense of 
dread he watched as the Jaffa approached the monk, helpless to do 
anything to help.  He couldn't give up his position; it would risk the 
rest of the team.

"You are not welcome here," the young monk told them innocently.

Jack flinched.  They didn't care about that; all they cared about was 
getting the Harcesis for their snakehead god.

"In the name of the god Apophis we've come for a young boy," the Jaffa 
told him.

"You will leave now."

Jack shook his head.  //Don't be stupid!//  Didn't he realize how 
ruthless and dangerous these men are, or did he think his little trick 
with the flame might scare them away?

"We will not," the Jaffa responded, inching closer to the Monk. "Stand 
aside."

A sudden crash of thunder drew Jack's attention from the scene in front 
of him to the sky.  It had been crystal clear moments before, but now he 
could see a massive storm front rolling in, fast.  He glanced quickly at 
Sam and found she was looking at the same thing.  She met his eyes, her 
expression mirroring his own.  Things were rapidly going from bad to 
worse.

Jack tightened his grip on his P-90 as he turned his attention back on 
the Jaffa in time to see him charge his staff and fire one shot.  The 
monk fell back as the blast went clear through his chest, dead before he 
even hit the ground.

"No!" Daniel's yell echoed through the grounds.  He raced out of the main 
doors in a blur, still barefoot and seemingly unaware of the danger he 
had just run into.  He stopped next to the Monk's body, oblivious to the 
fact that five staff weapons were now fixed in his direction.

Jack had to act.  He stood quickly, aiming his P-90 at the head Jaffa's 
chest. "Drop your weapons!"

The Jaffas' attention, and their staffs, turn on Jack and he wonders if 
his decision to come out of cover was wise, but it was Daniel's life at 
stake here after all.  He can hear Sam moving next to him, though not 
standing, as well as Teal'c and Bra'tac and the familiar sounds of their 
staffs charging.  His finger tightens slightly over the trigger of his 
gun.  //Oh this is SO not good!// "Do it!"

The Jaffa looks at him scornfully. "Kreel sekh," he spits.

//Like I'm supposed to know what that means!//  Trying to keep one eye on 
Daniel and the other on the Jaffa, Jack watches as the Archeologist 
stands from the Monk's side, sadness written clear on his face.  He 
raises his hands above his head and starts moving closer to the Jaffa. 
"Drop your weapons!"

They weren't moving.  The Jaffa's attention turned back to Daniel.  Jack 
went back on guard. // Don't do anything stupid Danny!  Don't draw 
attention to yourself!// "You heard him!" Jack yelled in an attempt to 
divert their attention from Daniel.

"I was talking to you Jack," his voice was quiet, but deadly serious.

"Wha...", Jack stopped, almost lowering the P-90.  He couldn't believe 
what he was hearing. "What?" he asked in disbelief.

"Do it now, all of you."  He was still moving forward slowly.  His arms 
were still raised above his head.  Purposefully, he seemed to stop once 
he was standing almost directly in between the Jaffa and the rest of his 
team.

"Daniel?" Jack asked sharply.  This was crazy, completely and utterly, 
totally insane.  Daniel was overstepping the mark now.  That bloody monk 
had gotten to him.  He was certain that Daniel was going to start talking 
in proverbs soon.

"Jack I was wrong," his voice had taken on an almost pleading tone. "I 
was very wrong.  One of those aliens I thought was long gone is still 
here."

//So?//  Jack almost snapped at him.  What difference does that make?  He 
bit his lip, knowing that his decision could mean the difference between 
life and death for all of them.

"Sir, we put our guns down and we're dead," Sam stated the same thought 
that was occupying his mind.

"You are outnumbered and surrounded.  You will die if you do not," the 
Jaffa spat haughtily.

"Jack, if you're ever gonna trust me on anything, now is the time," 
Daniel pleaded.  His face showed so much.  He looked certain that they 
had to do this, his belief that they would be all right seemed to be 
resolute. "The alien is the one with all the powers and she is not 
someone you want to fool with, if you get my drift."

Jack was pretty sure he had never been in this sort of quandary before.  
His instincts screamed to trust Daniel, but his years in the military 
told him that it was going to make them exposed, that it was an 
unnecessary risk.

"You must do it," Bra'tac whispered urgently.

His decision was made, not without the sinking feel of dread in his 
stomach as he dropped the gun to the ground by his feet.  He held 
Daniel's eyes, showing him that he did trust him.  If he thought this was 
the right move then he had to believe him.  He was relieved to hear Sam's 
gun clatter to the ground, followed quickly by the sounds of the two 
Staff weapons being dropped.

"Kill them."

Instantly he regretted the decision.  Was this how it was supposed to be, 
they show an ounce of valor and it gets thrown in their face.  They were 
about to die.  He kept his eyes open; if he was going to die he wanted to 
face the snakey bastard as he took his life.

He flinched as the Staff's charged again and two shots were fired.  He 
couldn't help the feeling of horror he felt as he watched the two 
fireballs speed towards him and Carter.  There was so much they all had 
left to say and do, and now they weren't going to get the opportunity.

Jack was about to close his eyes, when a cloud shot in front of them, 
absorbing the energy of the blasts moments before they would have struck 
them.  He didn't think he would ever comprehend what had just happened, 
nor could he comprehend the two shots that were fired at Teal's and 
Bra'tac that were absorbed in a similar way.

He glanced at Sam, catching her eye and her slight shrug that she, too, 
had no explanation.  Out of the corner of his eye he sees Daniel raise a 
hand and wave at the Jaffa.  He mutters something that Jack was pretty 
sure was 'Bye'.  //What the hell is going on?//

A massive clap of thunder almost drives him to his knees with its 
intensity, and with a sudden flash the temple grounds fill up with bright 
light.  Lightning, Jack suddenly realizes as he makes out five distinct 
bolts shooting out of the sky and into the bodies of the Jaffa.  They 
scream in agony for a few moments, their screams accentuated by an 
explosion in the distance that could only be a ship exploding.

Jack stood rooted in place, watching the Jaffa writhe in agony as the 
lightning slowly cooked them from the inside.  In a matter of moments the 
show is over, the lightning disappearing as suddenly as it appeared and 
the Jaffa slump to the ground in five separate smoking heaps.

**

Jack gasped and opened his eyes before the memory overwhelmed him.  He 
looked up to find Daniel standing over him, a hand gripping his shoulder 
gently, his eyes wide and face pale.

"Jack, are you alright?"

Running a hand over his face, Jack found that he'd been sweating.  Damn. 
"Yeah I'm fine Daniel.  I just remembered something."

"Oh," Daniel replied. "What?"

"I don't know, Danny."  Jack sighed. "We were in a temple, surrounded by 
Jaffa.  You asked me to trust you and drop my gun.  I did and the Jaffa 
died."

"Oh that.  You mean when Oma Desala saved us when we were trying to find 
the Harcesis?"

"I don't really remember the specifics Danny," Jack muttered.  He didn't 
want to talk about it.  It just made him feel rotten that he still 
couldn't remember much. "You still haven't told me why you've come around 
so late."

Daniel smiled before moving and resuming his seat.  He seemed to have 
relaxed a little. "No I haven't, have I?"  Pulling off his glasses he 
rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "But now that I'm here it doesn't feel as 
important as it did when I left home."

"Daniel," Jack admonished him sharply,"you didn't turn up here at two 
o'clock in the morning to suddenly change your mind about why you came 
here.  It was important then, it must still be important now."

He offered a brief laugh. "You'll never change Jack," he responded.  He 
sighed loudly, putting his glasses back on. "Now I feel stupid.  I'm ... 
it's gonna sound stupid and petty to you Jack."

"Maybe a beer will help loosen up your tongue a bit?" Jack suggested 
semi-jokingly.  It had been quite a while since he'd had a beer.

"You're offering me a beer at two o'clock in the morning?"

Jack shrugged, feigning innocence. "Sure, why not?"  He stood quickly and 
headed into the kitchen before Daniel had a chance to reply and quickly 
snagged two beers from the fridge.  Walking back into the living room, he 
found Daniel settled back in his seat, the amused look on his face barely 
covering the trepidation.  He took the proffered bottle with a word-less 
thanks.  

Settling back into his armchair, Jack popped the cap off his bottle and 
took a deep draught, studying Daniel the whole time, marveling at how 
easy it was to read him.

They lapsed into a companionable silence, quietly enjoying their beers.  
Jack could see Daniel about to speak several times, before changing his 
mind.  He smiled to himself. "Just spit it out Danny."

Daniel flushed with frustration and slight embarrassment. He set his beer 
down; knowing that he shouldn't have drank it in the first place. It was 
affecting him in a major way.  He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I've 
just ... I dunno.  I've had a lot on my mind lately."

"Are you and Janet having problems?"

"No!" Daniel replied defensively, straightening in his seat. "I came over 
because I wanted some advice."  He was looking more awkward and 
uncomfortable with each passing moment.

Jack felt his eyebrows rise. "Advice?  From me?" he asked with surprise 
and a touch of humor in his voice.

A sheepish look crossed Daniel's face.  Leaning forward he picked up the 
bottle again and took another mouthful. "Yeah."

Jack shook his head in amazement. "Wow," he murmured. "Are you sure I'm 
the right person to give you advice?" he joked.

Daniel's lips formed a tight line.  Banging the bottle down on the table, 
he stood up, his face red with anger. "You're right.  I should've known 
better."  Turning, he began to stalk swiftly up the stairs to the door.

"Daniel, wait," Jack called after him. "I was kidding!"  He stood 
quickly, racing after the younger man, catching him before he managed to 
open the front door. "Daniel, stop!"

Daniel turned, looking more and more irritated. "Jack, this isn't 
something to joke about.  I've been doing some real serious thinking, and 
I wanted to get your advice about it, not be ridiculed."

Jack reached out and grabbed his arm.  Turning him he led him back down 
to the lounge. "I'm sorry Daniel.  You know me; I always say the wrong 
thing at the wrong time."

Daniel snorted; letting himself be guided back to his seat. "Yeah you 
do."

Jack snatched up his beer and settled back in his armchair. "So what did 
you want my advice about?"

Daniel sighed, nervousness tingeing his face making him look even 
younger. "I've been thinking about asking Janet to marry me.  I want to 
have a family with her, I want kids."

Jack couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.  Daniel and 
Janet made such a cute couple.  He could see how deeply they felt about 
each other; feel the love so to speak.  He might not remember how long 
they had been together, but it didn't matter. "That's great, Daniel!"

Shifting in his seat, Daniel forced a smile. "Yeah I guess.  I just ... I 
don't know if it's the right time, or even if it's what she wants.  I 
don't want anything to go wrong."

Jack sat forward in his seat. "Why wouldn't she want to marry you Daniel?  
You're a great guy and I can see how much she loves you."

"How do you know I'm a great guy?" Daniel muttered under his breath, but 
Jack still caught the words.

He knew he would be lying to himself if he tried to believe they didn't 
sting a little. "Daniel, just because I can't remember much doesn't mean 
I don't know.  We wouldn't be friends if you weren't would we?"

"No, we wouldn't," Daniel replied despondently, flushing with 
embarrassment. "The thing is I don't want her to feel pressured, to feel 
like I'm rushing things with her."

Jack watched as Daniel stood and started pacing again.  He settled back 
in his seat, sensing that Daniel could probably pace restlessly for quite 
a while. "How long has this been on your mind?"

Daniel paused, glancing back at him with chagrin. "Umm ... actually when 
you and Sam ... when I found out you were having a baby," he replied 
quietly.

He sank back down on the sofa, studiously avoiding meeting Jack's eyes.  
A silence developed between them, thick, though not uncomfortable.  Jack 
searched his muddled mind to try and find something motivational to say 
to Daniel.  What would I have told him in the past?

"Look, Daniel," he said, breaking the silence. "All I can say is that you 
have to do what feels right to you.  If you feel in your gut that you 
want to spend the rest of your life with her, tell her that."

Daniel studied him for a long time, his face unreadable.  Jack could see 
the thoughts ticking over in those intelligent eyes.  A smile slid 
leisurely over the younger man's face. "Thanks Jack.  I knew you'd be 
able to help."

He jumped up, moving fast towards the steps, obviously intending on 
leaving.  Jack reached out his arm as he moved past, stopping him. "Where 
are you going?"

"Home."

Jack stood up, still gripping his arm. "No your not, I know what you and 
alcohol are like," he told him, somehow knowing that Daniel and alcohol 
did not mix well at all. "You can crash in the spare room, the beds 
already made up."

Daniel smiled at him. "You're right about that," he laughed. "But I'm not 
actually that tired."

Jack clapped him on the back. "Another beer then?" he asked, taking his 
arm and leading him back towards the kitchen.  He had missed beer, more 
than he thought possible.  //Beer and hockey.//  The thought popped into 
his head and his smile widened.

Daniel shot him a wary look. "You trying to get me drunk, Jack?"

"Who me?" he replied innocently. "No!  No reason why we can't enjoy 
another though is there?  We're just two friends kicking back, enjoying a 
drink, reminiscing..." He drifted off for a moment. "Well you'll be the 
doing the reminiscing for the moment."

Daniel laughed softly and something in it told Jack that this was 
something the younger man needed, something they hadn't done for a long 
time. "Sounds good, Jack. Sounds real good."

                         *******************

Janet rolled over onto her side, stretching her arm out across her bed to 
find it disconcertingly empty and cold.  She opened her eyes with a sigh 
as she attempted to quell the nagging worry that she was beginning to 
feel.

This was the first night in months that they hadn't been together, apart 
from the times Daniel had been off world on a mission.  Every night he 
was Earth-side they were together, except for tonight.  In fact, she 
hadn't seen or heard from him since lunch at the base, which was unusual 
in itself.  Where was he?

Now that she thought about it, he had been acting strangely lately.  He'd 
grown quiet and distant, more so once Jack had been found and returned.  
She had just assumed it was out of concern for his friend, then later 
because of Jack's inability to remember anything.  Jack was his best 
friend, she knew it chafed at Daniel that he didn't even remember him.

Maybe she had been wrong.  Maybe it wasn't Jack that had been bothering 
him after all, not totally.  Which only left one thing that it could 
possibly be.  Her ... them ... their relationship.  She tried to dismiss 
the thought.  If there was anything wrong between them she would know.  
If Daniel was bothered by something between them he would have talked to 
her.

//Stop being silly!// She berated herself.  Tossing the bedclothes back, 
she crawled out of bed knowing she wasn't going to be getting anymore 
sleep tonight.  She was too worked up, she was too worried.  This was so 
unlike Daniel.

She padded quietly out of the bedroom, almost tiptoeing down the hallway 
past Cassie's room.  The last thing she wanted was a grumpy teenager on 
her hands.  She made her way downstairs and into the kitchen.  She needed 
coffee, lots and lots of coffee.

As she pottered around the kitchen, she risked a glance at the clock on 
the microwave.  She hadn't slept a wink all night, but had been curiously 
reluctant to check the time.  That would just make her seem possessive.  
Something must have come up, that's all; she tried to reassure herself.

He probably got busy translating some amazingly ancient message on a 
stone slab stuck in a dark corner of his office, or he was evaluating 
some video feedback on their latest mission trying to decipher some 
glyphs that hadn't been seen in millennia.  He'd done that before.  But 
he normally phoned at some stage, just for a chat.  No matter how much he 
got tied up in his artifacts he always seemed to find the time to pick up 
the phone and chat, no matter how fascinating the item was.

Janet poured herself a cup of coffee as soon as it finished brewing. She 
relocated herself to the living room, where she could be more comfortable 
while she waited. She knew that Daniel would be home any time. He would 
walk through the door carry his tote with his arms full of books and 
papers like he always did. Then she would go over and help relieve him of 
his self-made burden and they would make their way upstairs to their 
bedroom like they always did.

Janet looked at the phone sitting on the coffee table, willing it to 
ring. Any minute it would ring and Daniel would tell her he was sorry for 
being late and he would be home soon. She sat ... and waited ... and it 
still didn't ring. 0345. I can't take it anymore. She picked up the phone 
and dialed the number to Daniel's office. It rang once ... she was being 
silly ... it rang twice ... he was going tell her that she was silly for 
worrying ... it rang three times ... four times ... five ... six ... 

Janet sat there listening to the hollow ringing for what seemed forever. 
Finally she hung up the phone. Where could he be?

A thought struck her and she smiled. Sometimes Daniel would use Sam's lab 
for research. So he wouldn't be within hearing distance of his phone. She 
dialed the number to Sam's lab, and waited. After waiting for another 
five minutes she hung up the phone, frustrated and experiencing the 
beginning stages of concern.

The dark was starting to close in on her, making her feel claustrophobic.  
Her worry was increasing with each passing moment as she sat in the 
darkened room searching her mind for some reason that Daniel wasn't at 
home, and where the hell he might be at this time in the morning.

0400.

She dialed the number to the only other place Daniel could be. Sam and 
Jack's.  Flinching, she hoped that they wouldn't be too upset at this 
late night ... //early morning// ... intrusion.  She felt herself tensing 
as the phone rang once ... twice ...

"O'Neill's House of Madness," a voice slurred over the phone, followed by 
a series of very unmasculine giggles.  Jack, a very inebriated Jack by 
the sound of it.  The doctor in her felt its hackles rise, and she bit 
down the urge to berate him for drinking alcohol whilst on pain killers, 
but he of all people deserved it at the moment.

She could hear muffled giggles in the background, a male by the sounds of 
it.  It couldn't be, she thought, not Daniel. "Jack?  It's Janet."
"Jannie!!" Jack squealed down the line a strangely girlie sound coming 
from the Air Force Colonel, forcing her to pull the phone away from her 
ear. "How are you, baby?"

//Baby?//  She had never, in all the years she had known Jack, been 
referred to by him as baby.  He must be drunk, very *very* drunk.  If she 
hadn't been so uptight, she might actually have laughed; it was a sweet 
thing to hear coming from Jack O'Neill's mouth.

"Jack ... is Daniel there?" she asked shortly.

"I'm disappointed Janet," he slurred. "That you don't want to talk to me.  
I am, after all, your number one patient."

"Second, Jack," she responded, unable to prevent the small smile that 
formed on her face. "Daniel is still my number one patient."

Jack groaned loudly, even that sound seemed slurred to her ears.  How 
much had he had to drink? "I see," he moaned,"I see ... a bit of 
favoritism goin' on here do we Doc?"

"Of course Jack.  At least Daniel doesn't moan and groan every five 
minutes in my infirmary," she retorted.
Jack burst out laughing. "No, he just moans and groans in a different way 
when he gets the Doctors *special* treatment."

Janet felt herself blushing.  Jack was definitely not a crude person, 
most of the time.  She couldn't help laughing though. "Very funny Jack," 
she said, trying to keep the humor out of her voice. "Now I'm going to 
ask you again, is Daniel there?"

"He sure is.  You wanna talk to him?"

"That's why I phoned Jack," she bit out sarcastically.

Jack grunted inarticulately, and Janet could hear him saying something to 
Daniel, his voice muffled.  He must have had his hand over the receiver.  
There was a crash, forcing Janet to pull the phone away from her ear, 
then the sound of the phone being fumbled.  He must have dropped the 
phone.
"Janet?"  Daniel's voice slurred over the line. "I'm sorry ... it slipped 
outta my hand."

"That's ok hon," Janet replied, forcing the happy tone in her voice. "How 
much have you had to drink Daniel?"

He was silent for a moment, she guessed he must be trying to count how 
much he'd had. "Ummm ... two bottles ... and a half," he added for 
posterity's sake

This time Janet did laugh out loud.  He was such a cheap drunk.  She 
tried to stop the giggles but ended up snorting with the effort.  It was 
one thing that always made her chortle, his complete inability to handle 
alcohol.  It was cute.

"What?" he asked her defensively.  She could almost picture the offended 
look on his face, which made her giggle again.

Janet became serious again, she couldn't help it, she had worked herself 
up too much tonight. "Is everything okay Daniel?" she asked quietly.

"Okay?" he repeated sounding surprised. "Yeah, yeah, yeah ... 
everything's great baby."

//Baby?//  Inwardly she groaned.  She was going to have to jab a needle 
extra hard into Jack's butt for teaching Daniel that particular term of 
endearment. "It's just ... you didn't call Daniel, I was worried that 
something might have happened to you."

Daniel moaned. "Oh, I'm so sorry baby.  It just ... it slipped my mind.  
I've been preoccupied, I needed to talk to Jack..." he trailed off, 
sounded embarrassed and unhappy.

Why did he need to talk to Jack?  Her curiosity was piqued now.  What was 
going on? "Daniel, is everything okay?" she asked, hoping that she was 
just jumping to all the wrong conclusions. "With us?"  She flinched at 
how needy she sounded.  //Was I ever like this before?//

Daniel made a strangled sound that sounded curiously to Janet like a low, 
pained, moan. "Oh, Janet," he breathed quietly, his voice suddenly 
sounding almost completely sober. "Everything is fine, perfect."  He 
paused for a moment. "I love you so much Janet."

Janet melted, she couldn't help it.  Even knowing that he was drunk, the 
honesty in his voice was overwhelming, and imminently reassuring. "I love 
you too, Daniel," she breathed.

"Come and pick me up Janet," he breathed, a hint of something in his 
voice.  

She couldn't say no, there was something in his voice that made it 
impossible.  Besides, she really did want to see him. "I'll be there in 
twenty minutes," she breathed, hanging up the phone and quickly racing 
upstairs to get dressed.

                         *******************

Daniel groaned and rolled onto his back, torn from the arms of sleep by 
the violent churning of his belly.  He could feel Janet moving next to 
him, the subtle movement on the bed enough to send a wave of nausea 
through him.  He opened his eyes to try and dispel the spinning sensation 
he was experiencing.

It only made things worse.  The room twisted like it was being turned on 
its side, and then quickly flipped back in the opposite direction.  
Clapping a hand over his mouth he bolted out of the bed with a strangled 
groan and raced into the bathroom, followed by a sound that he was pretty 
certain was Janet stifling a giggle.

He barely made it into the bathroom in time, pushing the door closed 
behind him with his foot and flicking the toilet seat up.  Falling to his 
knees he emptied the contents of his stomach into the bowl, retching 
violently.

After a few moments the door squeaked open and a hand gently began 
rubbing his back, soothing him.  He settled back on his heels, wiping his 
mouth and trying to ignore the headache that was beginning to grip his 
skull.  He was never going to drink again.

He heard another stifled giggle behind him. "You're not even feeling 
remotely sorry for me are you?" he wined.

This time she did laugh out loud, curt and brash. "No, I'm not.  You know 
what happens to you when you drink Daniel.  Besides, that's what you get 
when you keep me up most of the night worrying."

Daniel groaned again, trying to ignore the pervading guilt he felt.  He 
hadn't meant to make her worry about him.  He had just been so 
preoccupied that he hadn't stopped to think. "I'm so sorry Janet."

"I know," she responded, standing up behind him and helping him stand.  
With an arm wrapped securely around his waist, she guided him back into 
the bedroom. "And when you're feeling a little better I think we should 
both sit down and talk."

Daniel glanced down at her; the sudden movements making his brain feel 
like it was being squeezed in a vice. "Yes we do," he murmured in reply, 
his voice filled with more meaning than she might have realized.

She helped him into bed, tugging the blankets up to his chin.  Leaning 
over she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Don't move," she whispered, 
"I'll go and get you something to drink and something for the headache 
and nausea."

"Hmm ... okay," Daniel murmured, his eyes sliding shut as he tried his 
hardest not to move as it only made him feel like he was going to be sick 
again.  Yep, he was never going to drink again.  At least he was 
fortunate enough to fall in love with a doctor.

He listened as her footfalls left the bedroom, presumably to go down to 
the kitchen.  He snuggled a little deeper under the covers feeling ice 
cold all of a sudden.  He was getting nervous.  He knew he would once he 
had made his decision, but he wasn't going to back down on it now.  He 
was going to ask Janet to marry him.

He wanted it to be perfect, but he had no idea how he was going to ask.  
He wasn't a particularly romantic person; it just didn't come naturally 
to him like it did to people like Jack, people who were so confident and 
sure of themselves.  Other than on the site of an archeological dig or in 
his lab, he just wasn't that sort of person.

Jack had offered some suggestions to him, but he had dismissed them all, 
they just weren't his style.  He wasn't even sure what his style was.  
Then they had gotten sidetracked and the topic was forgotten.  They had 
made a lot of progress though; Daniel had inadvertently helped Jack 
remember some events, most of which Daniel would have preferred him never 
to remember.

Rolling onto his side, he pulled his knees up to his chest as his stomach 
cramped with another wave of nausea.  He squeezed his eyes closed even 
harder, willing this all to stop. "This was not how I expected *this* day 
to go," he muttered groggily to himself.

"How did you expect it to go then Daniel?" Janet's voice filtered across 
the room.
"I expected you to squeal that you would, then we'd spend the rest of the 
afternoon celebrating and making love because Cassie wouldn't be home 
from school till after four," he murmured sleepily, not realizing until 
it was already out of his mouth what he had just said.

//Damn it!// He berated himself, knowing that the residual alcohol in his 
system had fueled his tongue.

"What would we be celebrating?" he felt Janet's weight perching on the 
bed next to him.  

He wracked his brain, trying to find some way to extricate himself from 
this situation with some dignity left intact.  Nothing came to him, so he 
opted for the easy way out, pretend to fall asleep.  At least then she 
might just assume he was talking nonsense.

He forced his body to relax, to give the impression he was drifting off 
to sleep. "Celebrating?" he asked, his voice barely loud enough to hear, 
the kind of tone that a person half-asleep would use.

Daniel could almost feel her willingness for him to continue, her 
curiosity naturally piqued.  She was almost quivering with anticipation 
next to him.  Did she have any inkling of what he was going on about?  He 
hoped not, and he was not going to give anything else away now.

After what felt like an eternity he heard her sigh softly and stand from 
the bed, her disappointment obvious.  Daniel's heart sank, he hadn't 
intended on upsetting her.  He opened his eyes, reaching out and taking 
her hand. "Janet," he whispered, pulling her back to the bed.

She let herself be pulled back to the bed, her eyes wide with curiosity 
as she settled back onto the bed. "What's up Daniel?"

He couldn't believe it was going to happen like this, but the alcohol 
still in his system had taken what was left of his commonsense and 
rationality and tossed it aside.  Reaching passed her he pulled open the 
top drawer of his bedside table and fumbled around inside, his fingers 
finally brushing the small felt box he had tucked in the back of the 
drawer.

He took a deep breath, the small box fitting perfectly in his palm so 
Janet couldn't see it and pulling it back under the sheets.  He took her 
hand in his, met eyes that were looking down at him in concern. "I ... ah 
... I've been thinking a lot lately, about where I want my life to go, 
what I want to change about my life ... and what I don't want to change."

"Daniel?" Janet asked uncertainly as he paused, fear crossing her face.

He smiled nervously, his hands shaking. "After Sha're I didn't think I 
would ever find anyone ever again, I never thought I would fall in love 
again, but I did.  Janet, I never want to let you go," he reached under 
the sheets, pulling out the box and opening it.  Janet's eyes grew, her 
mouth opened with surprise. "Will you marry me, Janet?"

Her eyes drifted from the ring, to Daniel's face and back again, her 
mouth opening and closing like she wanted to say something and couldn't 
articulate the words.  Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she 
nodded her yes.

Daniel grinned, pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her 
finger.  The ring had belonged to his mother, one of the few items from 
his parents that he had ever received.  It seemed fitting now that he 
gave it to the woman that was going to be his wife.

He sat up, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to his 
chest.  This was only the beginning, he knew, of the life they were going 
to share together.

                         *******************

Sam and Jack sat in the small exam room waiting for Janet to arrive for 
Sam's ultrasound. Sam smiled as she watched Jack pace the room, randomly 
[investigating] various pieces of equipment. Jack was not a patient 
waiter, and today was no different.  He picked up an accessory from the 
ultrasound machine, seeming to find it rather interesting.

"Jack, honey, should you be touching that?" Sam asked, amusement lacing 
her voice.

Jack's head jerked up and he looked all the while like the guilty child 
with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Sam burst out laughing, causing 
Jack to do the same. "I'm sorry, Sam. I just hate waiting." He said 
coming over to her.

"I know you do," Sam said trying not to laugh again.

He sat down in the chair next to her. He put his arm around her and she 
leaned her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence, just listening to 
each other breathing softly. Jack was starting to shift anxiously again 
when Janet walked in.

"Sorry I'm late guys. SG-10 just got back. They all fell down an 
embankment on the way back to the gate fleeing from Jaffa. I just 
finished setting and casting three broken legs, four broken arms, ten 
fractured ribs and a fractured [sternum?]." She explained in a rush of 
words.

"And a partridge in a pear tree?" Jack asked throwing in his jab with a 
smile.

"Yeah something like that," Janet chuckled. "Needless to say, they're 
going to have a lot of fun in the coming weeks."

Janet moved over to set up her equipment in a flurry of motion. "Sam if I 
could just have you change into this gown and hop up onto the bed, we can 
get started."

Sam quickly shed her clothes and donned the lovely infirmary gown behind 
the screen provided. Jack helped her onto the examination bed, as it was 
getting more difficult for her to do such things of late. Once Sam was 
settled back against the bed, Janet covered her lower torso with a sheet 
and lifted her gown above her growing stomach.

Janet applied a thin layer of lubricating gel to Sam's stomach, and 
pressed the transducer against her skin, moving it along the surface.

"Since you're far enough along now, you're able to have a 3-D ultrasound. 
In fact you are the first person to get to use this," Janet grinned. "We 
get all the great toys in the Air Force."

"Sweet!" Jack commented and he and Sam both smiled.

Janet angled the monitor so they could see it better from their position. 
Suddenly the sensor detected a form and placed it on the screen. A few 
seconds passed and it was soon replaced by a face.  

"Oh wow!" Jack breathed through a suddenly constricted throat.

"Oh Jack look! That's our baby." Sam said through her tears.

Jack leaned over and placed a loving kiss on her lips, telling her 
without words how much he loved her.

"Do you want to know what it is?" Janet questioned the couple. Jack met 
Sam's eyes and they turned to Janet, smiling their answer.

"You're going to have...a little girl." Janet grinned at the look on 
Jack's face.

"A girl! Sam were gonna have a girl." He said in amazement. Sam couldn't 
speak around the tears of happiness that had formed.

The baby's face turned away from them, bobbing on the screen. More 
indiscernible images appeared, moving and bouncing across the screen.

"What's that?" Jack asked, his attention fully focused on the screen.

"It may be just a reflection. Let me change angles here," Janet explained 
as she moved the device to another section of Sam's stomach.

"I may have been wrong guys," Janet looked closer at the screen.

"What? Is it a boy instead," Jack asked, though not in disappointment.  
He would be happy with either a boy or a girl, son or daughter, his baby 
would be perfect either way.

"Well..."

"Janet? What's wrong," Sam asked with a degree of panic lacing her voice.

As if the baby could sense the tension, it flip-flopped on the screen. 
Sam's eyes flew from the screen to her stomach and back again.

"Nothing's wrong, per say," Janet said, a ghost of a smile playing across 
her lips.

"Well, is it a boy or a girl?" Jack asked as he took Sam's hand 
reassuringly in his.

"Umm...well. It could be both."

"Huh? Janet what are you talking about?" Jack sat up tensely in his 
chair.
Janet's finger pointed to a spot on the screen. "You see that? That's a 
heartbeat." She looked at Sam and Jack for confirmation that they were 
following along. She turned back to the monitor, moving her finger to 
another point on the screen.

"And you see that? That's a second heartbeat." She faced Jack and Sam 
again, as she waited for realization to dawn on them.

"You mean..." Sam stopped short.

"We're gonna have..." Jack drifted off.

"Twins?!" Sam and Jack looked at each other, echoing the other.

"That would be an affirmative," Janet answered them, smiling broadly at 
the expressions on their faces.

Jack looked over at Sam, stunned beyond belief. The look on her face 
mirrored his own. 

"Twins?! As in ... that means ... more than one! Two! We're gonna have 
... twins." Jack couldn't form a coherent sentence for the life of him. 
All Sam could do was smile a silly grin through the tears rolling down 
her face. Jack leaned over Sam and embraced her, and then kissed her 
breathless.

A knock sounded at the door. The interruption didn't even faze the happy 
couple by the look of the dazed expressions still lingering on their 
faces. Janet smiled as she opened the door. Her smile increased as she 
saw who stood behind it. Daniel smiled back at her, silently questioning 
her with his eyes, wanting to know what was happening. She opened the 
door wider to allow him to enter. However, she didn't say a word to him, 
only smiled; sure he would find out soon enough the unexpected, but good 
news. Daniel just glanced at her strangely, smiling in return. 

"Sam, Jack. So how's it going? Ultrasound went well I assume?" He said 
greeting the soon-to-be parents.

Jack swung his head around to face Daniel, smiling from ear to ear. 
"Danny-Boy!" Jack cleared his chair and wrapped his arms around Daniel in 
what had to be the biggest bear hug anyone had ever received from Jack 
O'Neill. 

Daniel stood there, his arms sticking out like a scarecrow, his eyes 
darting between Janet, Sam and Jack. "It's good to see you, too, Jack. 
Umm ... Jack," He said through clenched teeth, "you're breaking my ribs 
here."

Jack released Daniel quickly, apologizing and having the grace to look 
mildly embarrassed. Daniel just shrugged it off with a smile as he 
stepped over to Janet and put his arm around her. 

"So I'll take that as a "yes" that everything is going well," he said 
with a light chuckle. 

"Better than well," Jack said with one of the hugest grins that Daniel 
had ever seen. "You're going to be an uncle..."

"Well I knew that Jack," Daniel commented as Jack turned back to Sam. He 
grasped her hand and turned back to Daniel, smile still in place.

"You're going to be an uncle ... twice over."

Daniel stood there, a blank expression on his face as he processed the 
new information. Everyone could nearly hear the wheels turning in his 
head, when Daniel's eyes bulged and he looked and he looked down at Janet 
then towards Jack and Sam. His mouth was opening and closing but nothing 
was coming out. 

"You mean ... two ... you're gonna have ... two ... babies ... twins?!" 
Daniel stuttered, his face turning a nice shade of red, or at least Janet 
thought so. She loved when that happened. He looked so adorable when he 
tried to comprehend the simplest of information. Jack only nodded happily 
in response before turning back to his beaming and beautifully pregnant 
fiancé.

Daniel continued to stand there in what appeared to be shock. Janet 
smirked as she elbowed him softly in the ribs. She looked up at him in 
mock consternation. "By your reaction you'd think you were having the 
babies, not Sam and Jack."

Daniel smiled tenderly before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on 
her lips. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into her fluid 
brown eyes and whispered. "I've been thinking ... would that be such a 
bad thing?"

Janet's brow creased momentarily before she grasped the meaning of his 
words. Her lips curved upward as she pulled his head down for another, 
longer, life-changing kiss.

                         *******************

Sam sat in front of the roaring fire flipping through the books that they 
had picked up on the way home. After Jack had recovered from his fleeting 
lapse of shock, he had insisted that they go by the local bookstore and 
buy every single book on babies, twins, and pregnancy in general. Though 
they didn't clean out the entire store, they came close. In fact, half of 
Jack's truck bed was packed with bags and boxes of books. The clerk at 
the store had to rummage through the stockroom for boxes because they ran 
out of bags big enough. The thought made Sam laugh. She had never seen 
Jack so excited as he was that day. In her heart, she knew that their 
babies were healing him. She knew then and there that Jack was going to 
be all right.

He may never forget what happened to him when he was imprisoned, but he 
wasn't going to let it keep him down. 

Sam was awakened out of her reverie when Jack sat down beside her on the 
floor. He handed her a mug of hot chocolate, earning him a smile and a 
kiss. 

"Wow! If I knew that's what hot chocolate got me, I'd give it to ya more 
often." Jack said grinning, and earning him a playful slap to the arm. 

"Hey now!" Jack laughed nonchalantly.

"We have work to do mister," Sam said eyeing him with a mock glare. 
"After spending all that money on books, we shouldn't waste them, now 
should we."

"No I guess not." He said as he leaned over her to pull a stack of books 
to him. He looked at the top book and read the title out loud. "'What To 
Expect When You're Expecting.' Sam I think this one is more for you." He 
put the book on the stack she had accumulated then glanced down at the 
next book. Jack smiled. "Now this is more my style. 'Daddy's Little 
Fishing Buddy'." Jack looked over at Sam, having achieved making her 
smile at him. His one major goal in life, keeping his soon-to-be wife 
happy. 

"Jack, you're incorrigible you know."

"I know." He grinned. 

Sam discarded the book she had been looking at and went on to another. A 
book of baby names. She had seen three of those books in the many stacks 
they had started all over the floor. She began flipping through it 
randomly when an idea struck her. She smiled hoping Jack would go along 
with her. 

"Jack, honey, could you go get a couple of tablets of paper and some 
pens." She said, still looking at the book. 

Jack glanced over at her briefly before looking back at his own book, 
clearly caught up in it. "Sure, sweetie, what for?"

"Just an idea. I'll tell you when you come back." Sam said keeping her 
voice neutral. 

Jack got to his feet and stretched his legs and tried to get the kinks 
out of his back, then made his way over to the desk in the corner. He 
rifled through the drawers until he found what Sam was wanting. He walked 
back over to her, handing her the tablets and pens as he sat back down.

"So what's this all about, sweetheart." Jack asked curiously. 

Sam looked over at Jack a sweet smile lighting her face. "I was thinking 
... since we just found out we're going to have not one, but two babies, 
we should probably start thinking about names."

Jack took one of the books and tablets from her and grinned. "So do I get 
to name our boy?"

Sam smiled in turn, but shook her head. "Actually I was thinking that we 
could both write down girls and boys names, and then we can compare lists 
to see which ones we like the best."

"Hmm ... okay." Jack agreed opening his book. He stuck the pen between 
his teeth chewing on the end as he thought. 

Sam grinned; glad Jack wanted to be involved in this. She ducked her head 
and opened her book. She scanned names at random, sometimes unsure 
whether or not they were really names at all. She sneaked a peak at 
Jack's paper, but when he noticed her looking he smiled and covered his 
paper with his hand. She smirked and went back to writing names down.
Jack eventually moved to the sofa claiming his knees were hurting. He 
still continued to work on his list. Sam was just about finished. As soon 
as she wrote down the last name she got up and rushed to the bathroom. 
She now understood why her bladder could hold less and less, what with 
two babies putting pressure against it. 

Sam walked back into the living room fully relieved, and watched Jack, as 
he was still completely involved with his project. She sat down in his 
favorite chair and just watched him. The man she loved. The father of her 
baby ... babies. She was going to have to get used to that. As Jack had 
put it ... more than one. Sam smiled. 

"Are you about done, hon?" She asked Jack.

He glanced up briefly and nodded. He continued on for a few more minutes, 
when he closed his book and looked at her smiling, pleased with himself. 

Sam rose and made her way to sit next to Jack on the sofa. He put his arm 
around her and presented his list to her. She was amazed; he had found 
more names than she had. In fact, he had names from every letter of the 
alphabet. She had really underestimated him. Then she read off his 
choices aloud, making comments on some of them.

"Alison ... Angel, oh I like that one. Aroha?! Jack what the heck is 
Aroha." She gave him a look of utter puzzlement. 

Jack had a wounded look on his face, but she could she the sparkle in his 
eyes. "It means 'love' in New Zealand. I thought it was cute ... kinda."

"Oh, okay ...," Sam bowed her head again, and continued reading. "Bethany 
... Brittany ... Calista ... Calista?! As in Calista Flockhart!? Jack, no 
way!" She laughed at the look on his face. 

"Well, I uh ... didn't think of that." He mumbled.

Sam chuckled again. "Catrina ... that's cute. Chloe is pretty. Colleen 
... Dakota ...? Dakota ... hmm that doesn't sound too bad. Destiny..." 
Sam looked up into Jack's eyes and he smiled so sweetly.

"I think it's a pretty name ... Destiny ... Destiny O'Neill?" Jack said 
trying it out on his tongue. 

Sam merely smiled back at him, and kept on reading, wanting to know all 
his choices. "Ellie ... Erin ... Esmeralda ... Jack, have you been 
watching Disney movies with Teal'c again?"

"Uh ... no." He answered not knowing what she was talking about. 

Her laughter filled the air and she went on. "Farrah ... Felicity ... 
Jack you really do watch too much TV you know."

"Huh ... oh ... uh ... sorry." Jack blushed.

"Gabrielle ... Gianna ... that's interesting. Gracie ... oh Jack I love 
that name." Sam smiled up at Jack. He didn't respond, except with a smile 
of his own. 

"Holly ... Hope ... that's a beautiful name too. Isabelle ... Jade 
...Jewel..." Sam did a perfect imitation of Teal'c on the last one. 

"What?!" Jack defended himself. "She's got a great voice..."

Sam continued to look at him, she was having too much fun with this. 

"What?!!" Jack said again. 

Sam laughed and returned to the list.

"Kailey ... Kendra ... those are nice. Keziah ... okay I don't even wanna 
go there. Laney ... Laurie ... Lili ... oh how pretty! Mackenzie ... 
that's a good one. Jack these are really good." She glanced up at Jack.

"Keep reading, sweetheart. They get better."

Sam leaned over and kissed Jack lovingly on the lips. She pulled away 
before he could do much, because she knew if she didn't they wouldn't get 
anything done. 

"Malorie ... Meghan ... Natalie ... Nicholette ... wow that's a mouthful. 
Olivia ... Paige ... Quinn ... how nice. Raine ... Regan....oh I like 
those. Sabrina ... Sidney... Sierra ... Tabitha. Jack these are just 
wonderful. Trinity ... Valerie ... Whitney ... Zoe."

Sam just sat there in amazement. She couldn't believe how many Jack came 
up with. So many more than she did. And that was just the girls.

"Sam ... sweetie. You okay?" Jack asked, a little worried. 

"Yeah I'm fine." At Jack's look she continued. "Really Jack I am."

"Okay. If you insist. Hey do I get to read your list?" Jack asked 
anxiously. 

Sam handed hers to Jack, blushing slightly. "Okay, but it's not nearly as 
good as yours."

"Oh Sammy I'm sure it is better." Jack told her reassuringly.

Jack cleared his throat and flicked the paper, showing off, and making 
her giggle. "All right now. Alexandra ... Avery ... Bailey ...Brianna ... 
Caitlin ... Charity ... Dawn ... Elizabeth ... Emma ... Evie ... Gracie. 
Sweet! I like that one ... Hunter ... Jamie ... Josie ... Kelsey ... 
Lacey ... Lexie ... Lynsey ... Maisie ... Melissa ... Rachel ... that's a 
cool one. Reanna ... Sarina ... Skye ... Taylor." Jack looked at Sam. She 
was biting her lip, obviously worried about what he would think about her 
choices. 

"Sam! These are great. I love them all." Jack assured her with a kiss.

"Do you really think so? Now we just have to decide on one." Sam worried 
her lip again. 

Jack chuckled. "You're right, but we really shouldn't rush these things. 
We have to find just the right one. How about we take a look at the boys' 
names." Jack suggested. 

"Okay. Here's mine." Sam handed the list of the boys' names she had 
comprised.

Jack attentively began reading them off as before. "Aaron ... Blake ... 
Braden ... Caleb ... Dalton ... Evan ... Grant ... Gregory ... Ian ... 
Jacob..." A slight smile lit Jack's face, but he quickly hid it, and read 
on. "Kyle ... Lance ... Matthew ... Nathan ... Paul ... Riley ... Stuart 
... Trent." Jack finished and looked over at Sam. She was hesitant to 
look at him, shy even. He didn't know why. She picked some great names. 
But only one would do.

"Here. Look at mine." He held out his paper to her. She took it from her. 
He knew the moment her eyes absorbed his choice, because her face lit up 
so beautifully. He would remember her look from that moment on. Sam threw 
her arms around his neck, hugging him close. She was laughing and crying 
at the same time. Jack joined in with her happiness, not able to contain 
his own laughter from erupting. 

"So I take it you like what I chose?" Jack pulled back and looked at 
Sam's face. She was still smiling brightly.

"Jack! You couldn't have chosen anything better. Oh Jack!" Sam buried her 
face against his neck when he pulled her in for another hug. 

"So Jacob it is then."

                         *******************

Janet lay on her side in bed next to Daniel. She was resting her head on 
his chest and he was casually running his fingers up and down her back. 
He was quickly on his way to distracting her again, she thought with a 
smile. She'd been thinking about some things tonight, and one in 
particular she wanted to run by him. She was sure he would go along with 
it, especially considering the developments of the evening. 

"Daniel?" She asked hesitantly.

"Hmm?"

"I've got an idea."

"What is it, sweetheart?" Daniel queried looking down at her. 

"What would you think of throwing a baby shower for Sam and Jack?"

"I think that's a wonderful idea." Daniel commented, as he kissed her.

"We could have it here and invite everyone from the SGC. Do you think we 
should wait until after Christmas to have it?" She asked, though she went 
on quickly. "Probably so since Christmas is in two weeks. Maybe mid-
January? That should give people time enough to recover from the 
Christmas season."

Daniel smiled at her exuberance. He'd never seen Janet so excited before. 
He could only imagine what she would be like when they had a baby of 
their own. 

"Oh Daniel, we have so much to organize and plan. I want this to be the 
best baby shower for Sam and Jack."

Daniel chuckled. "I know you do. But can it wait until morning, Jan? I'm 
pretty tired. You sure know how to wear a guy out," He teased. 

"Well if you're so tired I can leave you here to get your beauty sleep, 
while I go sleep on the sofa, then." She said poking him in the ribs, 
giving him a taste of his own medicine.

"Don't you dare," He growled in her ear sensuously as he pulled her 
closer. 

He began kissing his way along her neck and she was responding in kind, 
when they heard a crash down the hall. They both pulled apart 
simultaneously. 

"What was that?" Janet asked in a now whisper. 

"I don't know," Daniel whispered back.

They were both frozen in place staring at the other, their ears straining 
to hear any other noises. Another crash sounded, this time louder. Daniel 
jumped out of bed quickly pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. 
Janet sat in bed clutching the sheet around her body. Her face was a 
reflection of shock and something else ... fear maybe? 

Janet was shaken out of her stupor long enough to react. She leaned down 
over the edge of the bed and came back up clutching a baseball bat. 
Daniel looked at her, surprise written on his face.

"I'll explain to you later." Janet said abruptly.

Daniel grabbed the bat out of her hand and rushed to the door and eased 
it open willing it not to squeak. When he got it open, he poked his head 
around the doorjamb, looking both ways for plausible danger. Seeing no 
obvious signs, he edged out of the room slinking along the wall, bat held 
tightly in both hands. He heard something hitting glass, but not a 
breaking sound. And it was coming from Cassie's room. His heartbeat 
increased. He hoped against hope that someone hadn't broken into Cassie's 
room, but he couldn't squelch thinking the worst.

He now stood in front of her closed door. His hand reached out for the 
knob of its own accord, like he was trapped in a dream. A bad dream. He 
eased the door open, not making a sound. He stepped into the still 
darkened room. He raised the bat above his head with one hand, and went 
for the light switch with his other. 

And he yelled.

                         *******************

Janet was still sitting up in bed, as though frozen. Sure she was an 
officer in the USAF, and a doctor ... but she could still be scared out 
of her mind. The noises had been coming from the vicinity of her 
daughter's room. That in itself was frightening, but so was the fact that 
she couldn't make herself move. Daniel had been gone for what seemed like 
forever, even though she knew it was merely seconds. Not remembering when 
or how, she found herself standing in her doorway, straining to hear 
anything, and debating whether to follow after Daniel.

That's when she heard it. 

A masculine yell ... and a feminine scream.

Janet clutched the sheet tighter around her as she raced out of her room 
and down the hall to her daughter's room. She came to a skidding halt in 
the doorway, scared witless. And then she started laughing. Hysterically.

Daniel was standing barely inside the room, holding the bat above his 
head in a somewhat threatening manner. Cassie was hanging halfway in her 
room, her feet hanging outside the window. They both had shocked 
expressions pasted on their faces, reflecting that they'd each found 
something they hadn't expected.

"Janet you are not helping the situation." Daniel commented. 

His statement lacked the sobering effect he had expected; it only 
resulted in making her laugh harder. "I'm ... sor...sorry....Daniel...I 
... can't help ... it.

Daniel glanced at her behind him, his expression bland, and his face pale 
and drawn. Cassie still had not moved from her current position.

Janet realized at some point in her maniacal outburst, that she needed to 
stop and reassess the situation. She stopped laughing albeit not 
gracefully.

However, it seems that she didn't stop soon enough, as Daniel and Cassie 
had already achieved arguing with the other.

"What on Earth do you think you were doing? It's 3:00 in the morning, for 
crying out loud." Daniel raised his voice. It seems that Jack had rubbed 
off on more than just a few people. Janet would have laughed, if not for 
the seriousness of the situation. 

"I went out." Cassie had climbed entirely through the window by this 
point.

"Not in the get-up I hope!" Daniel exclaimed, his eyes nearly popping out 
of his head. And he didn't even have his glasses on. 

"What's wrong with it?" Cassie looked down at herself. She was clad in 
skin-tight leather pants, with calf-high boots over them, and a flashy 
red halter-top, which showed a bit more than Daniel cared to see.

"What's wrong with it? What's WRONG with it!? You're dressed like a 
hooker, is what's wrong with it." That little vein in the side of his 
neck was nearly popping, his nostrils flaring. Janet had never seen 
Daniel this angry ... or was it upset? "Where did you go anyway to even 
dress this absurdly?"

"I like it, thank you very much, and so does Mick." Realizing she'd said 
too much, Cassie clamed up. But not before she got her jab in. "What do 
you care? You're not my father."

Uh oh! Janet thought. 

Daniel's face went a shade of red darker. "By God, if I'm gonna marry 
your mother, I will be."
Daniel shocked everyone with his declaration, himself included. They had 
decided to tell Cassie the next morning ... well it was morning now ... 
that was beside the point now though. Janet just didn't picture it to go 
this way. She mentally slapped her head and emitted a 'doh' borrowed from 
Jack O'Neill's vocabulary.

"What?" Cassie couldn't believe what she just heard. She had withdrawn 
several weeks ago, when she saw what was happening to her mom. Sure she'd 
displayed all the signs of happiness, but she was told it couldn't last 
forever. Many of her friends' parents were in similar relationships, some 
that had gone sour. She didn't want to stand by and watch her mom be 
hurt. She had heard too much of nasty breakups. Sure Daniel was great, 
and they both loved him, but could their happiness last forever. She'd 
already lost one set of parents to death. She didn't want to lose her 
surrogate mother to heartbreak.

Daniel stood there, suddenly finding the bat very intriguing. He knew his 
mouth had run away with itself ... again. Luckily for him, Janet stepped 
in at that point. 

"You heard Daniel. We're getting married." She looped her arm around his 
waist and he held her closer to his side. He still didn't raise his eyes, 
embarrassment setting in.

Cassie crossed her arms over her chest, her lips pinched into a tight 
line. She knew she should be happy for them ... but she couldn't dispel a 
sense of uneasiness. Was Daniel good enough for her mother, or would he 
hurt her like her first husband had? Though now that Cassie got to 
thinking back ... she had never seen her mother so happy, or at peace. In 
fact, though she didn't want to admit it, Cassie had felt safe since 
Daniel moved in with them. She missed her biological parents so much, and 
being told she was going to have that stability and love again, was ... 
well ... great. She tried to remain impassive, but failed as a smile 
creased her features. She rushed into her mom's arms giving her unspoken 
blessing.

Daniel was hesitant to hug Cassie at first, after what had happened 
shortly before. But his mind was put at ease when she went into his arms, 
her head against his chest. He felt a sudden dampness on his shirt and 
looked down. She had tears coursing down her cheeks. 

"I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again." Cassie hiccupped around a 
sob. 

Daniel brought his hand up to her hair, running his hand over it 
comfortingly. He felt Janet put her arms around both of them. Eventually 
Cassie's sobs subsided enough for her to speak. "So does this mean I get 
to call you Dad now?" Ducking her head shyly. 

"Uh ... " Daniel, for once in his life, was at a loss for a reply.  But 
not for long. "Yeah. I'd like that." 

                         *******************

~One month later~

Sam stood before the mirror just looking at herself. It was getting to 
where she thought she wouldn't be able to fit into anything soon. If it 
wasn't for the new outfits that Jack had gotten her for Christmas, she 
wouldn't have much. She should really go shopping again, she thought 
smiling. 

The dark burgundy button-up top looked good with her skin tone. She 
really hated how the black stretch pants looked on her, though that was 
about the only pants she could wear these days. She heard the door open 
and turned to see Jack walk in. She looked in the mirror once more 
frowning. Jack noticed and came to stand behind her, wrapping his arms 
around her.

"What's wrong, baby?"

Sam's frown got deeper. "I look horrible. Nothing fits, and I hate these 
pants." Luckily enough for Jack, she wasn't on the verge of tears this 
time. The incident a day before the base Christmas party instigated him 
into buying Sam a half a wardrobe, so she would have something that would 
fit. She wasn't fat by any means; in fact Jack loved the way she had 
filled out, making her body curvier in all the right places. 

"Oh I dunno. Those pants look real sexy on ya." He pinched her rear 
jokingly getting a small squeal out of her. "In fact, I may not want to 
let the guys see ya in them, they might drool all over the floor. And you 
know how I hate cleaning up messes."

"Jack!" Sam reprimanded with a broad grin. He knew he could make her 
smile. He always could. 

"Hey I can't help it if my fiancé is hot!"

"Hot and sexy is definitely NOT what I am feeling right now." She said 
turning her head, though still smiling. 

"Well I say you are so you are, okay sweetheart?" Jack lowered his head 
for a kiss. Sam moaned and turned in his arms. It had been awkward of 
late, to get intimate, because of Sam's growing form. But Jack didn't let 
that stop him. If anything it made him want her more.

Grudgingly though, Jack brought the kiss to and end. He knew that if they 
didn't leave then, they never would. And they would have a lot of people 
to explain to later. 

"Sweetheart, we need to go. Janet will jab me extra hard with a needle 
next mission if I don't get us there on time." Jack said, as he saw the 
passion slowly drain from Sam's eyes. But a spark remained, telling him 
he would pay later for stopping abruptly. Not that he minded any. Uh uh, 
no way. He smiled deviously

"Jack..." Sam warned, knowing the look in his eyes. 

"What ... I didn't say anything." Jack defended himself. 

"You didn't have to say anything." Sam smiled in turn.

Jack led her downstairs and bundled her into her coat. If anything 
January was more frigid than December had been. Sam had lucked out and 
not been sick all winter, aside from morning sickness, that is. The drive 
to Janet and Daniel's house was uneventful, and was made in a comfortable 
silence. Sam managed not to fall asleep this time, as she had started 
doing on any car trip, however short they may be.

They pulled into the driveway, seeing it was close to filling up already 
as was the sides of the street. Jack helped Sam out of his truck. They 
trudged up to the front porch and knocked. They heard laughter and 
talking behind the door, before it was opened. Daniel welcomed them and 
shuffled them into the house, taking their coats. 

Sam looked around amazed at the wonderful decorations. Janet really did 
outdo herself. Janet walked out of the family room to welcome Sam. Sam 
was looking around with amazement at the wonderful decorations. The look 
on Sam's face was enough thanks for Janet. They hugged then Janet went 
into the kitchen to retrieve beverages for the guests of honor. 

Daniel led Jack and Sam into the family room and a chorus of hellos and 
well wishes were sent their way. Sam thankfully sat down on the sofa, 
after Major Louis Ferretti offered her his seat. He moved to the floor 
not far from her and carried on a conversation with her, while Jack was 
engaged in conversation with General Hammond on the other side.

"Major, I owe you and the Colonel big time." Sam looked at him surprised. 

"Why's that Ferretti?" Sam asked.

"Well if it wasn't for your resignation, Major, I wouldn't have got my 
transfer back to Cheyenne Mountain."

"Oh. Well glad I could help." Sam laughed in return. "And you can forgo 
the 'Major', it's just Doctor now. Or Sam."

"Then it's Louis." Ferretti commented. 

"Sure thing, Louis."

Janet came in with their drinks then. As it was a baby shower, and the 
mother-to-be couldn't enjoy any alcoholic beverages, only lemonade and 
coffee were being served.

"So are you ready to get this show on the road?" Janet whispered to Sam. 
Sam smiled her answer. 

"All right everyone. It's time to shower the new mommy and daddy-to-be 
with gifts." Janet proclaimed enthusiastically. 

A hush fell over the room as all attention fell on Sam and Jack. Soon 
enough an excited buzz filled the room as the anticipation grew. The sofa 
was cleared, leaving the couple sitting there to await their gifts.

Cassie being the youngest person in attendance requested the important 
job of presenting the gifts to the new parents. Everyone gathered around 
the room, whether it be sitting or standing, to gain a better view of the 
couple. 

The first gift was placed on Sam's lap. Sam read the card aloud. "Jack 
and Sam. Congrats on the babies. Good to know the world will be safe with 
little astrophysicists with bad senses of humor running around. 
Ferretti." Laughter rang around the room. "Well I know who the 
astrophysicist is, so I guess that leaves the 'bad sense of humor' to 
you, honey." Sam directed her comment jokingly to Jack, and more laughter 
erupted.

She tore into the shiny pink and blue package ... and a huge smile lit 
her face. She held up the items. Two, tiny, matching camouflage onesies. 
Laughter went up from the women in the room; the men let out grunts of 
approval, and the Marines, of course, their common 'Oorahs'. 

"Training them awful young, aren't ya Colonel?" Someone in the back of 
the room asked. 

"Heck yeah! Never too young to train 'em." Jack called back, smiling. 

"Sweetie, can we at least wait till they're out of diapers?" Sam threw at 
him good-naturedly.

Sam sent her thank-you's towards Ferretti as she laid his gift aside. 
Cassie handed more her way. Sam gave a couple to Jack to open, "oohing" 
and "ahhing" over them as he did so. 

The next one, from General Hammond, was a thin, rectangular box covered 
in silver wrapping with iridescent bows. Careful to not rip the paper, 
Sam eased the box out of the wrapping. When she'd succeeded she lifted 
the top off the box and parted the tissue paper. She gasped in 
wonderment.

"Oh, Sir! These are beautiful." She breathed. She lifted the contents out 
of the box still inspecting them. Attached to cards, were Wish and 
Remembrance bracelets for the baby's mother. They were both made of 
Sterling Silver, but one bracelet had blue crystal beads and the other 
had pink. Sam was moved to tears as she thanked the General for his 
thoughtful gifts.

The next gift was from Janet and Daniel. Daniel was nearly on the edge of 
his seat; Janet had to practically hold him back as both Sam and Jack 
opened their gift. As soon as the items were revealed, Daniel started 
rattling off energetically what was enclosed in the neatly boxed newborn 
sets. 

"See one's blue and one's pink. And they both have receiving blankets ... 
and ... and ... burp pads and flannel bibs. And wash cloths." Daniel 
stuttered through his description. "Oh and no-scratch mittens." He said 
with eyes wide open, as though the concept was brilliant.

Barely able to contain her excitement, Cassie handed her gifts, a 
tallish, square package to Sam and a flat, rectangle box to Jack. Not 
able to keep the smiles off their faces, they tore off the paper after 
Cassie gave them the permission to 'rip into them'. She was practically 
bouncing up and down in anticipation. They got the paper off and smiled 
as they saw what was pictured on the boxes.

"Open them up and I'll show ya how they work." Cassie said as she knelt 
down in front of them. 

Sam opened her box and pulled out a weighty brown teddy bear. Cassie 
spoke up again. "It's called a Mommy Bear. If you turn the dial on its 
back it makes noises that sound like the womb. It's supposed to soothe 
babies, since it sounds like what it was like when they were inside their 
mom."

"Cassie this the best gift that the babies will have. Thank you so much 
sweetie." Sam said as she bestowed a hug on Cassie. The crowd in the room 
'aww'd at the display. 

In the meantime Jack had taken his gift out of the box and was fiddling 
with it. "Sweet!" 

"Ain't it cool?" Cassie asked as she moved over in front of him. She 
reached out and turned the knob on the back of the toy. A soft, soothing 
water sound was emitted. 

"Whatcha got there, Colonel?" Siler asked from the back of the room.

"It's uh..." Jack looked down at the box so he could get the name right. 
"It's the Peaceful Planet Aquarium. And watch yourself Siler. Keep your 
tools *away* from it ... I see that spark in your eyes."

The room was running rampant with laughter, having Jack O'Neill with tons 
of attention paid him. More gifts soon followed. The entire SGC gave Sam 
and Jack a double sport stroller. They all knew how Sam liked to run and 
with two babies to keep up with, what better way to exercise than with 
them.

Daniel stood up then and nodded towards Teal'c. "And last but certainly 
not least... We had to save the biggest for last since we could barely 
fit it in the house." 

Teal'c, or who they thought was Teal'c, for he was hidden by two VERY 
large fuzzy teddy bears. In fact they were nearly as tall as Teal'c 
himself, which was saying a lot, because he usually towered over 
everyone. 

"Teal'c, buddy, you shouldn't have." Jack said barely containing his 
laughter.

Teal'c's head appeared in between the two bears, which made for quite a 
humorous picture. Puzzlement lit his face as he lifted his brow. "I had 
been informed that stuffed bears were an appropriate gift for infants. Is 
it not customary to give a gift for each child?"

No one in the room dared to laugh at Teal'c as they knew that if they 
were ever in the ring with him, they would get their butts royally 
whooped. 

"They are quite ... big ... aren't they?" Jack asked looking at Sam with 
all the seriousness his tone could muster. Sam had a slight grin on her 
face and her eyes were shining.

"Thanks Teal'c. They're great. It's the perfect gift for the babies." Sam 
said as she sent a genuine smile his way. 

"Well everyone, I guess that's it. You are all welcome to stay and visit. 
We would all like to thank you for showing up ... and I am sure Sam and 
Jack are grateful for you coming ..."

Jack stood up then. "Actually there is one more gift. Two to be precise."

Sam glanced up at Jack, confused. Daniel handed him two flat packages, 
and Jack sat on the edge of the sofa facing Sam. "Sweetheart, I've been 
trying to think of the best gift to give our babies. It took me quite 
awhile to decide on this. But I think it is the best choice. I hope you 
like it." Jack took her hands and turned her palms facing upward and 
placed the packages in her hands.

She looked at him uncomprehendingly. She unwrapped the packages, pulling 
a picture frame out of each of them. She lifted the first one up and read 
it. Her eyes got blurry as she tried to focus on the words she was 
reading. Not trusting what she just read she lifted the second one. When 
she had finished reading she looked at Jack with tears in her eyes. "Oh 
Jack ... I ... I ..."

"Is that a good 'I' or a bad 'I'?" Jack smiled at her gauging her 
reaction. 

"Good. Very good."

"Well are you going to keep us in suspense forever?" Janet asked 
anxiously. 

Sam gave a little giggle as she pulled back from Jack wiping her eyes. 
She cleared the lump in her throat and began to read from the frames she 
held. "Star Registry. This certificate states that a star was officially 
registered in the Universal Star Catalog's database designated by the 
world renowned Smithsonian Astrophysical Institute in honor of Jacob 
Daniel O'Neill." 

"Ohh"s went up around the room, and a hush soon covered the room. "What 
does the second one say?" Janet asked in a near whisper.

"This certificate states that a star was officially registered in the 
Universal Star Catalog's database designated by the world renowned 
Smithsonian Astrophysical Institute in honor of Rachel Mackenzie 
O'Neill." 

"Ahh"s echoed in the air as finally the names of Sam and Jack's babies 
were revealed. 

                         *******************

Sam stood from her stool and tried to stretch her back out.  It seemed 
like it constantly ached at the moment, the weight of two babies causing 
havoc with her spine.  She frowned, she missed Jack deeply, he normally 
seemed to sense when she was uncomfortable and turned up to rub her back 
just as she needed it.  But he was offworld now, on some sort of training 
mission that just happened to come up two days before the babies were 
due.

She seemed to be able to sit for ten minutes, and then have to stand for 
another ten.  She felt like a damn yo-yo, up down, up down, waddle down 
the corridor to the bathroom, and then up-down again in a vicious 
repeating cycle.  She couldn't wait for this to all be over, for the 
constant discomfort she was currently feeling to end.

Waddling over to her shelves, she stood there for a moment wondering how 
she was going to get the book she needed down, and why the hell she had 
put it that high up in the first place.  She knew why, of course, because 
a couple of weeks ago she would have been able to get at it with no 
trouble standing on her tiptoes, but now she couldn't be bothered 
exerting that much effort for a stupid book.

So she shuffled back to her seat and flopped back down on it with a 
frustrated growl.  Okay, so she was angry, she couldn't help herself, but 
the one time she really needed Jack to be around he wasn't.  He wasn't 
supposed to go on this mission at all, or any, they had arranged with the 
General that he have a month off in and around the time the babies were 
due.  That was until this mission came up and everyone that could do it 
was either injured or offworld.

Even knowing that it was a routine training mission, that he could be 
contacted as soon as something happened, it did nothing to make her feel 
better.  She wanted him here, now.  It had only been a day, but she 
missed him.  She had a nagging, irrational fear that he was somehow going 
to miss the birth.

She gasped as she felt a little twinge in her lower belly, but it was 
gone almost as quick as it came, so she dismissed it as another false 
contraction.  She'd had a false labor less than a week ago and ever since 
had felt the occasional twinge, that she was at the point that she could 
almost ignore them completely.

A soft knock on the door startled her, though she knew it shouldn't, 
someone had been checking up on every half hour.  She looked up to find 
her father standing in the doorway, an enormous grin on his face.  She 
was pleasantly surprised; she hadn't heard the activation alert, then 
again, now that she was no longer an 'active' member if an SG team she 
had begun to tune out the alerts.

"Dad!" she gave him an answering grin and stood from her stool with all 
the elegance her bloated form could muster.

Jacob had already crossed the room and pulled her into his arms before 
she was fully standing. "Sammy.  You look radiant baby." He said in her 
ear, squeezing her tightly.  He pulled away to look her up and down. "Oh, 
now I'm really sorry I haven't been around more!"

Sam would have laughed at his last comment if his compliment hadn't 
flustered her.  Jacob had spent every spare moment he had on Earth with 
them.  It equated to a couple of days every few weeks.  It seemed he 
hadn't wanted to miss a single moment of her pregnancy.  She had loved 
the fact that she had been able to spend so much time with him.

Sam flushed, and gave her father a shy grin. "What are you doing back so 
soon?  I thought you had to go on another mission?"

Jacob laughed and let go of her, guiding her back down onto the stool. 
"And miss my baby girl having her babies?  I didn't want to miss this 
Sammy; I wanted to be here for you and Jack.  Where is he anyway?"

Sam's happiness that her father was going to be there for the birth 
quickly faded away into anger again. "He's off on a training mission.  
Major Griff was supposed to be doing it, but he was injured during SG-2's 
last mission, and no one else could do it, except for Jack," she sighed.

Jacob pursed his lips, looking mildly annoyed himself. "He'll be back in 
time won't he?" he asked sounding concerned.

"Of course he will," Sam scoffed,"And the only reason he agreed to go was 
that he would be recalled if I went into labor early."

Her father looked relieved. "That's good then, otherwise I would've had 
to kick his butt."

Sam smiled, "*That* I would like to see."

Jacob chuckled, his eyes dipping down to her belly. "You really do look 
wonderful, you know," he told her, a hint of sadness touching his face. 
"My baby girl is all grown up."

Sam flushed again and glanced down at the table, a frown creasing her 
brow.  She was going to get all emotional again soon, especially if he 
kept that up.

"I'm so proud of you Sam."

It was too much; no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop the tears 
that were now flowing down her cheeks.  Nor could she prevent the sobs 
that shook her shoulders a moment later.  This was all too much, 
everything was too much.  She wasn't ready for any of this; she wasn't 
ready for the fact that in a couple of days her life was going to change 
completely.

She could hear her fathers chair scraping across the floor as he stood, 
then felt his arms wrap comfortingly around her shoulders. "What's wrong 
baby?"

The feel of her father's arms around her calmed her almost instantly.  
She buried her face in his chest, feeling like she was seven years old 
again. "I'm scared Dad," she sobbed, admitting to something that had 
always tried not to. "I don't think I'm ready for this yet.  I'm gonna 
mess this up, I just know it."

Jacob pulled back from her slightly; cupping her chin and tilting her 
face up to look at him.  He had a small smile on his face. "Sammy, you 
know your mother said exactly the same thing to me too?" he whispered, 
his voice infinitely comforting. "And look how you and Mark both turned 
out.  Your mother would have been so proud of both of you."

His words only prompted a fresh bout of tears.  She wished her mom was 
here.  She buried her face back into his chest, gripping his shirt 
tightly in her fists.  He began to stroke her back slowly, humming 
gently, soothingly. "I'm worried that Jack's not going to make it back in 
time- that something's going to go wrong, with him or me and the babies.  
I just want this to be over!" she wailed.

"Baby," Jacob said softly, stroking her hair. "I think every woman goes 
through this so close to their due date.  Don't worry; everything is 
going to be fine, you'll see."

Sam looked up at her father, her tears gone.  His words made perfect 
sense, naturally, and she cursed the raging hormones and the irrational 
outbursts that they caused.  She pulled out of the embrace and looked 
down at her hands feeling embarrassed and foolish.

Jacob took her hands, holding them tightly in his own. "Sam, do you 
realize how lucky you are?" he asked her softly. "You're engaged to a 
great guy who would move heaven and earth to make sure you're happy.  
You're about to have two beautiful and healthy babies.  You have great 
friends that are there for you when you need them.  What more do you 
need?"

She flushed again and looked down at her hands as she tried to dispel the 
first thought that his question had raised.  My fiancé here with me now.  
But her dad was right, yet again.  She was lucky, hell extremely lucky, 
to have all that in her live.  She took several deep breaths to try and 
steady her erratic breathing. "Thanks, Dad."

His arms snaked around her again and he gave her a brief hug. "You don't 
need to thank me baby," he responded.  He pulled back once again, looking 
down into her eyes, searching for something. "Is there anything else?"

Sam shook her head no, aware that Jacob would know if she was lying 
anyway. "No that's about it, Dad."

"Good," he replied standing up; his eyes still full of concern. "Are you 
sure you're okay?"

Sam smiled. "Yes, Dad."

He stepped forward and brushed a kiss on his forehead. "I'm just going to 
go and change into some 'human' clothes," he said with a wry twist of his 
lips.  It was only then that Sam noticed he was still in his Tok'ra get 
up. "Page me if you have any problems okay?"

Sam smiled warmly, feeling better now that she had gotten her worries off 
her chest, now that she knew that he father was going to be here for the 
long haul. "Of course I will."

Brushing another kiss on her cheek, he turned and left her lab.  She 
watched him leave listlessly; missing Jack all the more now that she was 
alone.  She twisted her attention back to the artifact in front of her, 
trying hard to ignore the second little twinge in her belly.  Now it was 
just becoming a damned nuisance.

Grabbing a couple of tools off the bench she proceeded to attempt to 
dismantle it.  She had no idea what it was, and quite frankly she didn't 
really care at this point in time, she just needed something that would 
distract her.  It wasn't working very well at all.  Oh who am I kidding?

She tossed the tools down, disgusted with herself.  By all rights she 
should be at home resting, as Janet had told her many times.  But she 
couldn't stay away, she was bored at home and at least here she could 
find something to do.  At least here she had company nearby since Jack 
was off world.

"Is everything okay Samantha Carter?"

Again, she felt herself jump in surprise, though to his credit if Teal'c 
noticed he didn't let on as she turned to face him. "Oh, Teal'c!" she 
gasped, trying desperately to recompose herself. "Everything's fine 
Teal'c."

He inclined his head, seemingly satisfied with her answer, though with 
Teal'c you could never tell.  He stepped into the room, Daniel close on 
his heels.  

"Hey Sam."

Sam nodded. "Daniel."  It had only been the fifteenth time today they had 
said hello to each other.

"Are you ready to join us for the noon meal?" Teal'c asked her.  He was 
watching her like a hawk, she noticed, or more like an overprotective 
protector.

Her stomach churned nauseatingly at the mention of food. "Why don't you 
go on without me?  I'm not really that hungry."

She could already tell by the look on Daniel's face that he wasn't going 
to take no for an answer.  His arms crossed over his chest and he looked 
down his nose at her. "You know you have to eat Sam," he said 
patronizingly.

Sam sighed, knowing that he was right, but still not feeling up to 
actually eating anything.  It would be nice to have a change of scenery 
though. "Fine, I'll go with you then," she muttered as she stood up.  Her 
stomach cramped violently, and she doubled over from the pain with a 
small moan.

She heard a shuffling of feet and a strong hand wrapped around her arm. 
"Are you alright, Samantha Carter?"

The pain was so intense that it almost had her on the verge of tears.  
She took several deep breaths and the pain faded away.  It was then she 
noticed the wetness between her legs that confirmed everything.  It was 
time.

She straightened up and caught the concerned eyes of both Daniel and 
Teal'c.  Daniel was looking wide-eyed at the now-wet floor under her 
feet. "I think I need to get down to the infirmary," she replied quietly, 
her words quickly spurring them into action.

                         *******************

Daniel burst into the control room, his heart in his throat with a 
combination of adrenaline and excitement.  Everyone turned to look at his 
as he clattered his way breathlessly into the room, having run from the 
Infirmary.  The General turned, his eyes wide, and fastened a glare on 
Daniel.  It wasn't really good decorum to run around like a child when 
there wasn't an emergency.

"Need ... to ... contact ... Jack," he gasped at Sergeant Davis.

Davis glanced up at the General. "Why don't you catch your breath and 
then tell me what's going on son," the General told him, though he 
already had an idea what the urgency was.

Daniel didn't bother paying attention to what the General had said.  He 
had to get Jack back now, or they were going to have one angry woman on 
their hands really soon. "Sam," he breathed. "Her water broke ... we have 
to ... get Jack back ... NOW."

He knew it wasn't good protocol to boss Hammond around, but right now he 
didn't care, but if the General was bothered by it he didn't show it. "Do 
it Sergeant."

Impatiently shifting from foot to foot Daniel waiting as the address to 
the planet Jack was on was dialed up.  //Did it always take this damn 
long?// He wondered impatiently.  He was desperate to get back and see 
how Sam was doing.  

It felt like an eternity had passed when the wormhole finally engaged and 
Davis raised the Colonel on the radio.  Daniel paced in oblivion until 
Jack's voice piped over the radio. "What's the problem General?" he 
asked, sounding irritated.

Daniel jumped forward, butting in before the General had a chance to get 
the words out. "You gotta come back Jack," he blurted.

There was a moment of silence. "What's wrong?"

The General brushed past Daniel, nudging him out of the way of the 
microphone. "There's nothing wrong, son, but you do need to get back.  
Sam's just gone into labor."

There was another long silence, as Jack seemed to absorb the news. "Shut 
the gate down, I'm coming back now," he said quickly, cutting the 
transmission.

                         *******************

Jack was sure he had never moved so quickly in his life.  He had managed 
to get the trainees regrouped and packed in less than ten minutes; it was 
almost like they had sensed his urgency.  Half an hour later they had 
reached the gate and without sparing a backward glance at the trainees he 
was off running through the corridors of the SGC.

The moment he had been waiting for the last seven months was finally 
here.  Soon, very soon, he was going to be a father again.  It was 
suddenly scaring the crap out of him.  After seven months of preparation 
and waiting, why did this have to happen to him now?  It wasn't second 
thoughts, definitely not, but a nagging dread that he was going to do 
something to screw it all up.

He knew it was irrational, but he couldn't help it.  After Charlie, he 
guessed he couldn't blame himself.  But Sam needed him to be composed at 
the moment; he couldn't let his doubts plague him.  He vowed that he 
would never go down the same path he had in the past, where his work was 
more important than family.  He would never do that again.

Nothing was going to come between him and his family.  He'd been blessed 
with this second chance and he wasn't going to blow it.  Third chance, he 
realized, all too aware of how close he had come losing everything at the 
hands of Bastet.  But he hadn't, he'd survived his memory almost 
completely restored, his injuries healed the scar on his face fading 
slowly.

He was the luckiest man alive.

He skidded to a halt just inside the doors of the Infirmary, receiving 
several curious looks as a result.  Okay, so he had forgotten to stow his 
gear in his hurry to get to the Infirmary, but so what?  His eyes darted 
around in room, looking for a familiar face.  

"Would you quit following me around?" an angry, and very familiar, female 
voice yelled in the corridor behind him.

Jack felt a smile tug at his lips as he turned around to find Sam walk 
slowly past the Infirmary door in a hospital gown, Daniel and Teal'c 
walking slowly behind her attempting to obscure the gap in the back of 
her gown from any prying eyes.

Grinning to himself, he quickly pulled off all his gear and dropped it on 
the Infirmary floor.  Stepping back into the corridor, he walked quietly 
up behind his two friends and tapped them on their shoulders.  He held a 
finger to his lips as they turned, then leaned his head in to them, 
whispering quietly,"My gear's in the Infirmary, can you move it?  I'll 
take over here."

Daniel nodded eagerly; seemingly keen to be away from Sam's scathing 
tongue.  Teal'c inclined his head and they both moved into the Infirmary.  
Jack couldn't help his eyes roaming up and down the gap in her gown.  
//Nine months pregnant and still sexy as hell,// he smiled to himself.  
She continued walking up the corridor, oblivious to the changing of the 
guard, so to speak.

Unable to contain his grin, he reached out and touched her shoulder, and 
felt her almost bristling under his touch.  Her head jerked around 
angrily. "What?"

Jack stood there watching her silently as her expression changed.  Her 
face, flushed red with irritation, looked at him wide-eyed for a moment, 
then realization seemed to dawn on her.  She threw her arms around him, 
pulling him tightly into her embrace.  He wrapped his arms around her 
waist, a small laugh rising in his throat.  He had missed her so much. 
"Hello to you to, baby."

Pushing him back, she swung out and punched his shoulder, hard.  Her face 
held a combination of anger and melancholy. "What the hell took you so 
long?" she cried, smacking him in the shoulder again for posterity.

Jack had to smile; knowing it was just the stress winding her up. "I came 
as quick as I could, baby," he responded quietly, grabbing her hands and 
holding them tightly in his.  Sara had been like this when she had gone 
into labor with Charlie; he'd been told then that it was pretty normal 
for the mother to be to fly off the handle a little. "But I'm here now, 
and I'm not gonna leave your side without a fight."

Sam flushed and looked away from him. "You leave my side and I'll break 
your arm.  This is all your ..."  She stopped, her face contorting in 
agony, her hands squeezing his hard enough to produce a small cracking 
sound.

Jack ignored the sudden pain as he wrapped his arms around her waist in 
time to prevent her falling as her knees gave way with the force of the 
contraction. "Ssh," he said soothingly. "It's okay, Sammy, it'll pass."

Sam sucked in a deep breath and straightened as the contraction stopped.  
As she released his hand, he quickly stretched it out; relieved to find 
that it still had movement, that it wasn't broken.  

"How about we get you back to the Infirmary?" Jack suggested quietly, 
seeing that the contraction had taken a bit out of her.  He felt her nod 
her head against his shoulder and turned them, guiding Sam slowly back 
down the corridor to her private room.

                         *******************

Jack quickly donned the scrubs that Janet had provided for him, as he 
couldn't get to the locker room to change out of his fatigues. He quickly 
moved back to Sam's side. She was lying in the bed now, truly exhausted 
after a rather long contraction. They were getting much more painful to 
her and shorter apart, meaning that the time was near. 

He could barely grasp the irony of it all. Several years ago he'd had his 
entire life and everything he loved ripped from him. And here he was 
being given it all back. The woman he loved and that loved him back 
unconditionally. Two new lives that they created out of their love for 
each other. A brand new start. He should be ecstatic ... but he was 
scared to death.

His palms were sweating and he felt like he'd caught Sam's morning 
sickness. He was light-headed and was sure he was sheet white. He willed 
himself not to faint. That would be so not good. He had to be here for 
Sam. Her strength was draining quickly. Having a baby was hard work, but 
having twins was ... well ... harder work. 

He brushed his hand across Sam's forehead. Her eyes opened and she 
focused on him. He could see that the epidural was having its full effect 
on her now; her eyes were slightly glazed over, though she was still 
somewhat lucid.

"Jack?" She breathed. 

"What is it baby?" Jack leaned in closer. 

"I can't do this. I'm so tired. I can't ..."

"Sam don't you dare say that. You are the strongest person I know. If 
anyone can do this, you can. You have been through much worse than this, 
and this time around you get something good out of it. You get two 
beautiful and healthy babies." Jack said running his hand over her hair 
in a calming gesture. 

Fresh tears formed in Sam's eyes. Jack could see her struggling to hold 
them back. "I love you." She said as the tears slipped down her face. 

He wiped them away with the tips of his fingers. "I love you too, 
sweetheart."

He felt Sam tense beside him. Her eyes snapped shut and she held her 
breath. Another contraction. Her mouth was clenched in a tight line. A 
low guttural growl emitted through the slight gap of her lips. 

"Breathe baby breathe." Jack urged softly beside her.

Sam reached up and grasped the edge of Jack's shirt, yanking him down to 
her. "I am breathing!!" She fairly yelled at him. 

"I can see that, hon. And you're doing such a good job, too." Jack gasped 
out, as he was practically being strangled.

Sam released his shirt, sitting nearly upright and grabbed hold of the 
bed rails to ride out the contraction. Jack smoothed his hand over Sam's 
hair and down her back in a comforting motion. At that moment Janet 
walked into the room, and he was glad to say the least. 

"How are we doing?" Janet asked taking a peek at the latest on Sam's 
chart. 

Sam slumped back against the bed, breathing hard, sweat beads having 
formed on her forehead. "How does it look like I am doing?!" Sam snapped. 

"Oh, I'd say it shouldn't be much longer." Janet smiled, not at all 
offended by Sam's outburst, though Jack did smile sheepishly.

Janet put the clipboard back down, and raised the sheet covering the 
lower half of Sam's body. Jack watched as Janet ducked her head to 
examine Sam's current status. "Hmm..."

"What is it?" Jack asked curiously. 

"Shouldn't be much longer at all. You're eight centimeters dilated, Sam." 
Janet smiled reassuringly.

"Good because ... HOLY CRAP!!!" Sam jerked upward again grasping the 
railings again, her face contorted in pain and concentration. 

Jack reached over to rub her back again to try to ease her suffering, and 
was rewarded with a right hook to his chin. The impact knocked him 
backwards, though not off his feet. He could swear he saw stars floating 
in front of him. 

"This is all your fault." Sam yelled at him her fist still raised.

Jack had a dazed expression on his face and Janet took pity on him, and 
drew Sam's attention away from him.  "Sam are the meds still working?"

Sam swung her head around her face reflecting the pain she was in, her 
eyes flashing with anger.  "They wore off three hours ago.  So no they 
aren't still working." 

Janet frowned.  "I'm sorry Sam, but I can't give you anymore, without 
them affecting the babies.  It would be too much of a risk."

Sam leaned back against the bed again in defeat.  "I know," She 
whispered, her anger diminishing as quickly as it appeared.  

Jack eased his way back over to her, and took her hand into his 
reassuringly. Janet smiled at the couple, as she got one last idea. 

"There is one more option. I could give you the gas..."

Jack's brows nearly reached his hairline. "Doc? Is that such a good idea 
... I mean, doesn't Sam have enough to worry about now without adding ... 
errr ... gas to the equation?"

Heedless of her pain, Sam let a giggle escape. "Not that kind of gas, 
Jack." 

"The local anesthetic type ... you know ... gas mask?" Janet offered 
forcing down a laugh.

"Well of course. I knew that." Jack mumbled ducking his head and fiddling 
with Sam's delicate looking fingers. 

Sam smiled at him sincerely before turning her attention back to Janet. 
"No I want to be conscious for this. I want to know when my babies are 
born."

Janet smiled softly. "Okay Sam. It won't be much longer before you won't 
even have that option. Are you sure this is how you want to do this?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Sam smiled through the tears slipping down her face.

Sam barely noticed when Janet left the room. Her head was lying on the 
small cushion behind her. Maybe she should have considered Janet's 
option. No, she thought. I made the right decision. What was a little 
discomfort, when in the end the results would be so good? Two little 
miracles. Two miracles that were her very own. Hers and Jack's. The 
thought made her pain shrink in comparison. She could handle the pain. 

Not realizing she had been crying until Jack was wiping the tears away 
with his fingers. "Sammy, it'll be over soon. I promise. And then we can 
start our lives together. All four of us." He choked on the last.

Sam opened her eyes and saw Jack had tears running down his face. She 
reached up as in a trance and brushed them away lightly with her 
fingertips. 

"I love you." She mouthed, not able to speak. 

"I love you too." Jack's lips moved in the same fashion as hers. They 
were both too overcome with emotion to manage to speak. But they didn't 
have to. They could see the feelings emanating from the others' eyes. In 
a blink of an eye their lives flashed before them.

"I love you too." Jack's lips moved in the same fashion as hers. They 
were both too overcome with emotion to manage to speak. But they didn't 
have to. They could see the feelings emanating from the others' eyes. In 
a blink of an eye their lives flashed before them. 

The day they met in that briefing room, challenging the other.

I recognize the way you make me feel

Stranded in a frozen cave, in the realms of a frigid desert of ice. 

It's hard to think that 
You might not be real 

Bars separating them. One possessed by a symbiote. The other looking on 
in pain, struggling to ignore his feelings. 

I sense it now, the water's getting deep 
I try to wash the pain away from me

One gripped by the devices of the Ancients, losing the ability to 
function normally. The other helplessly unable to do anything.

'Cause you're everywhere to me 

One implanted with a symbiote. The other watching as he is frozen to 
prevent attachment. 

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

One watching distantly as the other kisses her alternate self, a 
dimension separating them. Pain ripping through her. Sadness engulfing 
him. 

You're everything I know 
That makes me believe

Both being tortured by a satanic being. Stripped from the other. Holding 
onto their sanity. 

I'm not alone

One abandoned on a planet. One fighting to get the other home. 

I'm not alone 

One walking away shouting; angry. Hurt radiating from the other. Regret 
and pain evident on both faces. 

And when I touch your hand 
It's then I understand

One inviting the other to go fishing. Hesitation. Hope. Anticipation. 
Then a beam of light and he is gone. 

The beauty that's within 
It's now that we begin 

A force field separating each other. Panic. Anguish. They each fear for 
the other's life. One urges the other to leave, the other refuses. They 
remain together. 

You always light my way 
I hope there never comes a day

Hundreds of feet below the surface, unaware of whom they really are, 
unaware of where they belong. Trust in the other their only lifeline. 

No matter where I go 
I always feel you so 

Cold vastness of space. One delirious and losing oxygen in a glider. The 
other staring out a ship's window, unsure how to save him. So close, yet 
so far away. 

'Cause you're everywhere to me

One lying on an infirmary bed. Lifeless. Machines the only thing keeping 
her alive. The other sitting by her bedside, powerless to do anything. 
Dying inside himself. 

And when I catch my breath 
It's you I breathe 

One searching for the other in a cavernous complex; desperation rising to 
find her in time. The other hoping ... knowing he will come for her. 

You're everything I know 
That makes me believe 
I'm not alone

One blind and dependent. The other guilty and caring. Coming together for 
the first time in each other's arms. Their love for the other finally 
expressed fully. 

I'm not alone

Sam and Jack held each other's gaze for what seemed an eternity. 
Clutching onto the other; seeing the memories flash through the other's 
eyes. Emotions flitting across their faces. Sam's face was wet from tears 
falling unbidden from her vivid blue eyes. Jack tried to suppress the 
tears threatening to fall from his own eyes, however failing. Their tears 
mingled on their joined hands. A sign of their past. A symbol of their 
strong love.

Sam cringed as another contraction hit her full force. She gasped, 
sobbing. It was the most painful she'd had. Jack was holding one of her 
hands as he supported her back with her other. She breathed and gasped. 
She flung her head back, after the wave had passed. Physically and 
emotionally drained, she lay staring up at Jack. 

"Jack. I want my Dad. I want you both here with me." Sam's face was pale 
and drawn. But her eyes were aware. 

Leaning down, he ran his hand down the side of her face, cupping her 
cheek. He brought his lips to meet hers. He kissed her as though if he 
stayed there long enough, he could take away her pain. Or maybe give her 
his strength. He lifted his head opening his eyes to look at her. Her 
face was still pale, but she was more peaceful. 

"Okay. I'll get him for you. I'll be right back." He said softly. 

Before he made his way to the door, he ran the backs of his hands over 
his eyes, wiping the lingering tears from his face. He smiled.

                         *******************

Jacob Carter felt like he must have worn massive grooves into the floor 
of the corridor from pacing up and down for the past several hours.  How 
long had it been now?  Ten?  Eleven?  He had completely lost track of 
time.  Now he was thankful that he had stopped wearing a watch, otherwise 
the wait would have driven him insane.

Every time he heard Sam cry out the sound tore at his heart.  He had to 
fight back the urge to race into that room, to take his daughters hand 
and help coach her through the birth.  It was out of his hands, though, 
she wasn't his baby girl any longer and it was her husband-to-be in there 
in his rightful place, waiting for his children to be born.

He hated waiting.  In fact, he was beginning to hate it with a vengeance.  
He spared a glance at Daniel, who seemed to be sleeping at the moment.  
Jacob knew he wasn't, if anything the younger man was coiled tighter than 
he was.  Whenever Sam yelled out he was up out of his seat and pacing 
again in a heartbeat, just like a brother would.

The thought brought a pang of guilt to Jacob's heart.  Mark should be 
here for this; he should be here for his sister.  He wondered if anyone 
had even contacted Mark to tell him.  He knew that he should, right this 
minute, but things still weren't great between them, and he didn't want 
to move from this spot in case he missed something.

He sighed, forcing himself not to think about it.  This was Sam's day, 
Sam and Jack's, and he wasn't going to ruin it by regretted the mistakes 
he had made in the past.

A strangled yell yanked his attention back to the door to Sam's room just 
as it was yanked open.  Jack's head appeared around the door, wide-eyed 
and anxious and a vivid purple bruise blossoming on his cheek.   "Jacob!  
There you are!" he said, his voice strained, but cheerful. "Get in here 
will ya!"

Jacob glanced down at Daniel, who had twisted in his chair to look up at 
Jack, as his mind fought to comprehend that his wishes had just been 
answered. "Are you sure?"

Jack's arm snaked around to doorframe, gripping Jacob's arm firmly. "Of 
course I am.  We both want you in here."

He didn't need to think twice about it.  He was in the room before Jack 
had a chance to step back completely.  It was a shock at first, to see 
his daughter like that, legs up in the stirrups, sweat pouring down her 
face, her eyes glazed with pain.  As horrifying as it looked, it was a 
good thing.  He was going to be a grandfather again.

He made it to her bedside in one large step and gathered her hand in his 
as he brushed a kiss across her forehead.  Her head turned in his 
direction and she smiled pitifully as she caught his eye.  She looked 
exhausted. "Dad," she panted, still struggled to recover from her last 
contraction. "I'm glad you're here."

Jacob patted her hand and grinned down at her. "Me too, baby."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack moving back to Sam's other side 
and pick up a plastic cup.  He picked out a piece of ice and gently hold 
it against Sam's lips.  It still amazed Jacob, the amount of tenderness 
that Jack showed towards Sam.

"How far along is she?"

Jack tore his eyes from Sam. "She's fully dilated.  We're in the home 
stretch now," he replied quietly, placing the cup back on the backside 
table and brushing Sam's hair from her forehead.

Jacob felt her tense for a moment before the next contraction hit, then 
the room burst into action as she cried out, squeezing his hand tightly 
in hers at the same moment.  He stifled the small groan growing in his 
throat.  He hadn't realized that Sam was so strong.

"It's okay, Sam," Jack told her soothingly. "Just breathe."

"Would you QUIT telling me to breathe!  I know what I HAVE to do Jack!" 
she snapped loudly, squeezing Jacob's hand even harder.

"Sam," Janet spoke softly, the first thing she had said since Jacob had 
entered the room. "The baby's head is starting to crown, I need you to 
push."

"I can't," Sam breathed, her voice twisted with agony as she flopped back 
down on the bed, the contraction over for the moment.

Her eyes slid shut as she panted, trying to recover herself before the 
next contraction hit.  It wouldn't take long either.  Jacob watched her, 
his chest bursting with pride.  She looked haggard and exhausted, yet her 
face still carried a look of grim determination.  //That's my Sammy.//

Jacob caught Jack's eyes long enough to shoot him a smile.  Jack grinned 
back, showing that Sam's outbursts were not bothering him in the least.  
He had been through this before, after all, he must have expected the 
irritability.  Jack broke the contact and leaned over Sam, kissing her 
forehead tenderly.

"You're doing so well, honey," he whispered to her, his lips still 
brushing the skin of her face. "It's nearly over ... you'll be holding 
our babies in no time."  Sam's eyes opened slightly and she smiled 
tiredly in response, her fingers tightening slightly on Jacob's hand.

Then too soon the moment was over.  Her eyes widened and a moan of pain 
tore from her throat.  She sat up, tightening her grip on Jacob's hand 
again.  He ignored it as he leaned closer and echoed Jack's words. 
"Breathe, Sammy," he told her, the Lamaze training he had had all those 
years before coming back to him.

"Push Sam," Janet grated, sounding like she was talking through clenched 
teeth. "Push, you can do it!"

Sam's face scrunched up, her face a mask of agony as she tried her best 
to comply with Janet's orders.  Her gripped tightened on his hand, as she 
pushed with all her might.  He leaned closer to her and could see Jack 
was doing the same. "Come on Sam, your doing so well," he whispered 
encouragingly. "Push!"

"The baby's head is out hon ... just one more push!"  Janet told her.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack dart off to stand behind Janet, 
excitement shining in his face.  Janet glanced back at him, a smile 
tugging at her lips. "Do you want to do the honors Dad?"

Sam's eyes shot open, Jacob twisted to look at the doctor and his future 
son-in-law.  His mouth was agape with surprise. "What?"  Jack asked 
stupidly. "I ... I don't know anything about delivering babies!"

Janet laughed and stood quickly; guiding Jack into her vacated seat as a 
nurse shoved a pair of latex gloves into his hands. "Don't worry Jack, 
I'll be right here.  All you have to do is support the baby as it comes 
out."

Jacob watched the scene before him with amazement then he saw the look on 
Janet's face and the glance she sent in Sam's direction.  They had 
planned this; they had planned for Jack to deliver the babies.  He smiled 
to himself as he turned his attention back to his daughter.  He leaned in 
closer to her. "Come on baby ... push ... let's give Jack the thrill of 
his life."

"Okay Sam. We need one more big push." Janet urged hovering over Jack's 
shoulder.

Sam inhaled deeply and gripped Jacob's hand with sudden strength. She 
clenched her eyes closed as she pushed her firstborn into the world.  She 
fell back against the pillows in sheer exhaustion, her breath coming in 
ragged gasps.

A thick silence descended on the room for a brief moment, before a tiny 
but harsh cry echoed around the room.  Jacob felt the small fear 
clutching at his heart disappear at the sound. "It's Rachel," Jack 
replied, his voice choked with more emotion than Jacob had ever heard.

                         *******************

Janet wasn't a hundred percent certain, but the more she watched Jack the 
more she thought that he might be crying.  Rachel's wails still filled 
the room, but he hadn't made a move since.  The only movement he seemed 
to be making was a subtle shaking of his shoulders, the movement making 
her think that maybe, just maybe, the rough tough Colonel was crying.

She glanced at Sam, to find her sagged back against her pillows, Jacob's 
arms wrapped protectively around her.  Her eyes were focused on Jack 
though, like she was trying to see through all the obstacles that lay 
between them to see their new baby.

Janet moved then, touching Jack gently on the shoulder.  There were no 
tears in his eyes as he looked up at her, but a look of profound joy that 
she had never seen in his face before.  He grinned and looked down at his 
daughter again, her tiny form cradled in arms that suddenly looked 
massive in comparison.

He seemed to know Janet's intent without her having to utter a word.  He 
raised Rachel up slightly, offering her to Janet, but she quickly shook 
her head as the nurse handed her the instruments she needed.  She could 
feel Jack's eyes on her as she quickly and expertly clamped and cut the 
umbilical cord and moved away again.

She tried to fight back the irrational pang of jealousy she felt as she 
watched Jack stand, clutching Rachel protectively in his arms, gathering 
the towel tighter around her.  He moved around the bedside and perched 
himself next to Sam, placing the baby gently into her outstretched arms.  
Tears flowed down her friend's cheeks, her face lit with joy.

Jack leaned his head in close to her and whispered something that made 
her smile grow and a small chuckle left her throat.  Janet couldn't help 
herself; she could feel her own tears building in her throat, tears of 
happiness for this couple who had both suffered through so much.  She 
swatted the errant things from her cheeks, not willing to let on to her 
staff that this was affecting her.

But Sam glanced at her then, and Janet knew that Sam was one of the few 
people that could read her like a book.  Her eyes pleaded at Janet to 
come over, and she couldn't help herself, her feet moving with her own 
accord.  She couldn't help grinning at the tiny form lying there, now 
silent, in her mother's arms.  What she didn't expect was Sam to hold 
Rachel up to her, offering her a hold of her baby even before her own 
father.

Janet glanced quickly at Jacob, feeling guilty that she'd get to hold his 
granddaughter before him.  If he was bothered by it he didn't show it.  
His grin was nearly as large as the proud parent's, as he nodded to her 
happily.  Carefully, she gathered the precious little life into her arms, 
careful not to jostle her too much.  
No sooner had Sam released Rachel than another contraction struck her.  
She cried out tiredly, arching her back and sitting forward on the bed 
again.  Handing the baby to the nurse so she could clean her up, Janet 
sprang into action, resuming the stool that Jack had just vacated to 
examine the progress.

Janet could hear both Jack and Jacob whispering to her, trying to get Sam 
to breathe again.  Janet's heart went out to her, she was exhausted, and 
now she had to go through it all again.  A quick glance told Janet all 
she needed to know.  Baby Jacob was ready to come into the world.

She stood and caught Jack's eye.  His eyes were wide.  He looked like the 
happiest man alive. "Ready to do the honors?" she asked him.  His grin 
widened more than she thought was possible and he practically bounded 
back to the stool.

Janet stepped back, and once more surveyed the scene before her.  She 
still could not rid herself of the nagging jealousy she felt.  Jack was 
perched on the stool, his head popping up and down as he murmured 
encouragement to Sam.  Jacob had his arms wrapped firmly around her 
shoulders, almost like he was trying to give his strength to her.

You could almost feel the love in the room.  The corniness of the thought 
made Janet smile, but it was the only way to describe it, and she felt 
left out.  It was silly, she knew that, but she couldn't help herself.  
The worst thing was she wished it was her on that bed, that it was 
Daniel's arms wrapped around her, supporting her as she brought their 
baby into the world.

She groaned inwardly and opened eyes she hadn't realized she had closed.  
That was corny, and stupid.  But the more she watched Sam and Jack in the 
last couple of months, the more the thought appealed to her.  She wanted 
to have a baby; she wanted to have a baby with Daniel.  She knew he 
wanted to, he had told her several times, in fact, that he wanted to 
start a family.

Now, she was ready, her decision was firm.  She only hoped that Cassie 
would support this decision with the same fervor that she had when she 
found out that they were engaged.  Janet knew she would support the 
decision, she would have to, otherwise she might find herself just having 
to accept it.

"Push Sammy, he's almost out!"

Jack's raised voice drew her out of her musings.  She moved closer to 
Jack, ready to jump in if there was the slightest hint of something 
wrong.  The baby's head was out, and one push was all he needed.  She 
could hear Sam straining, the gently murmur of Jacob's voice as he 
encouraged her, Janet found herself adding her own voice to his.

Then it was over.  Sam gave a great gasping breath and fell back against 
the pillows, panting heavily, as baby Jacob's cries filled the room.  
Janet moved as before, quickly clamping and cutting the umbilical cord.  
She glanced quickly at Jack, and stopped in surprise.

He was crying, his normally unreadable face a swirl of emotions as tears 
made silent tracks down his face.  Janet could not even begin to 
understand what must be going through his mind, though she was pretty 
certain the events of the last few months must be pretty predominant in 
them.  He had been to hell and back and he's survived, hell, he'd 
flourished.

Janet reached out her hand and touched his shoulder, drawing his gaze 
from his newborn son to herself.  His face lit up with elation, his grin 
so contagious that Janet had to smile back.  If she had any doubts that 
he was still suffering from what Bastet had done to him they were gone 
now.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he whispered, his eyes drifting back down to 
his son. "Jacob and Rachel, they're both as beautiful as their mother."

Janet smiled warmly, savoring the moment.  Jack O'Neill never expressed 
emotion like he was right now.  She squeezed his shoulder gently and took 
her first good look at Jacob.  He was gorgeous; he had all the best 
attributes of both his parents.

"He's gorgeous Jack," she whispered back. "How about we let mom take a 
look at her son?"

He nodded and stood, cradling Jacob against his chest and moving slowly, 
as if afraid that he might break him.  He turned back to her, his face 
serious. "Thank you Janet."

"You don't need to thank me Jack," she responded quietly.

"Yeah I do, you've done so much for me and Sam in the last few months.  I 
don't think we could ever make it up to you ... and Daniel."

He had made it to Sam's side, gently handing Jacob to her.  Janet watched 
with amusement as he leant over and pulled a little face at the baby and 
made a little cooing sound before straightening up and meeting her eyes 
again.  Would Daniel be like this with their babies if they had any?

"You don't need to make anything up to us Jack," she scoffed, craning her 
neck to look up at him.

"Yeah I do," he grinned.

Before she had a chance to react he reached out and pulled her into his 
arms, lifting her off the ground in a fierce bear hug.  He pressed a kiss 
to her forehead.  She flushed bright red and he put her back down and 
stepped away from her, leaving her completely flustered.

"How about we go and make an announcement to everyone waiting out there?"

Janet nodded dully, her mind still reeling from Jack's exuberant mood.  
He took her hand and pulled her after him.  A small smile grew on her 
face as she thought of Daniel acting like this, completely and utterly 
overjoyed at the life he had helped create coming into the world.  Yes, 
she was definitely ready for her life to move in that direction.

As she watched Daniel's reaction to Jack's joyous news, as she felt 
herself smothered again in Daniel's embrace she resolved that she would 
tell him, tonight, that she was ready to take the next, major, step in 
their relationship.

                         *******************

Sam and Jack pulled up in front of their house in Janet's car.  They'd 
decided that it wasn't such a good idea to use Jack's truck, as it wasn't 
child-safe.  And Sam's Volvo was out of the question.  So Janet had 
insisted they use her car until they got a family car of their own. 
 
"Besides," Janet had told them, "I always have wanted to drive Jack's 
truck." They'd all laughed over that and had agreed to the proffered 
arrangements.  
 
Jack got out of the car and rushed to the passenger side to help Sam out 
and proceeded to remove the Rachel and Jacob from the back seat.  
 
He unhooked the safety harnesses and lifted first Rachel's car seat out, 
handing her to Sam.  He then went to work on Jake's.  "All right Jake 
lil' buddy, we're home."
 
The infant's mouth lifted in what could be taken for a smile, Jack wasn't 
sure, but his caused his heart to constrict nonetheless.  As he shut the 
car door, he turned and faced his beautiful fiancé ... the mother of his 
children.  
 
He could barely believe he was living this.  Since Rachel and Jacob were 
born a day ago, he'd been pinching himself; sure he'd wake up from this 
dream.  But it wasn't a dream.  This was his life.  His and Sam's life.  
 
He had finally managed to do something right in his life, and this time 
he wasn't going to take anything for granted.  He was going to live each 
day as if it were a precious gift.  
 
Sam cocked her head sideways and said something.  He shook himself out of 
his musings and smiled.  
 
"Something wrong, Jack?" Sam asked a small worried smile on her face.  
 
Jack looked down at Jacob, and to Rachel, and then his gaze shifted to 
Sam.  "No.  Actually everything's right."
 
Sam's smile melted his heart.  Her happiness overwhelmed him; flowing 
over him like a blanket of sunshine.  If he ever had any doubts that he 
was going to fail with his new life, they disappeared.  If anyone had 
told him a year ago what his life would be like now, he would have 
laughed at them.  But now ... now he would grab the person and hug them, 
and tell them that they should try the happiness thing themselves.  
 
He walked over to Sam and put his free arm around her as they made their 
way up to the front door.  As soon as they were inside, they quietly 
found their way in the nursery.  They carefully lay the twins into the 
cradle.  It had to be an unconscious occurrence, because they weren't old 
enough yet to turn on their own, but Rachel turned her head towards 
Jacob, and Jacob turned his towards Rachel; the unseen bond already 
forming.  
 
Jack brought Sam in front of him, putting his arms around her.  He 
settled his chin onto the top of her head, holding her close.  A sigh of 
utter contentment escaped her lips.  
 
Jack leaned down and whispered into her ear.  "What are you thinking 
about?"
 
Sam twined her fingers through one of Jack's hands around her waist.  She 
looked up into his face and smiled.  "I was just wondering how we got so 
lucky."
 
Jack's mouth turned up as he stared into the eyes of the woman he loved.  
"I don't know.  It happened, and I won't question why.  I'm just going to 
enjoy it and live life to the fullest with you and these little guys by 
my side."
 

~ Finis ~